Every culture attaches importance to a respectful disposal of the dead; but how exactly they do it is different all over:
vynosit’ (Russian) to bury someone (literally, to carry someone out feet first)
monoklautos (Ancient Greek) with one mourner
tomboka (Luvale, Zambia) to dance (said of an executioner)
sahagamanamu (Telugu, India) the burning alive of a widow, with her dead husband
Leichenschmaus (German) the meal after the funeral (literally, corpse banquet)
xuxo (Tsonga, South Africa) the spot where an important man died; when rites are observed for his spirit, people go first to that place, then to his grave
Funeral crashers
‘A beautiful funeral does not necessarily lead to paradise,’ runs a Creole proverb and, were we still able to care, such a thought might be reassuring:
tumeakana (Yamana, Chile) to not show the grief for a friend who has died that is expected from relatives, to act when a mourner as though one was not a mourner
pesamenteiro (Portuguese) one who habitually joins groups of mourners at the home of a deceased person, ostensibly to offer condolences but in reality to partake of the refreshments which he expects will be served
In loving memory
Now all that’s left is for those who remain to remember and express their feelings:
di-huong (Vietnamese) the memory of a dead lover
keriah (Hebrew) a tear in clothes to signify a broken heart
miàti-drànomàso (Malagasy, Madagascar) to go up to the palace to weep on the decease of the sovereign
nyekar (Indonesian) to visit and lay flowers on the grave of a dead relative or friend
prātahsmaranīya (Hindi) worthy of being remembered every morning; revered
yortsayt (Yiddish) the anniversary of someone’s death
Hex revenge
While some love and remember, there are others who believe that if someone is ill and dies there must be someone to blame; and appropriate action may have to be taken:
rihehlo (Tsonga, South Africa) a spell cast upon a person by putting medicines on the grave of one killed by his witchcraft
Radish tips
Once under the ground we say we are ‘pushing up daisies’. For the French, though, to be dead and buried is either engraisser les asticots, fattening the maggots, or manger les pissenlits par la racine, eating dandelions by the roots. Even more imaginatively the Germans have sich die Radieschen von unten angucken, he’s looking at the radishes from below.
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Out of the frying pan and into the fire
min taht al dalf lataht al mizrab (Arabic) from under the drip to under the spout
dostat se z bláta do louie (Czech) out of the mud into the puddle
aasmaan se gire khajoor mein atke (Hindi) down from the skies into the date tree
takut akan lumpur lari ke duri (Indonesian) afraid of mud, escape to thorns
sudah jatuh tertimpa tangga pula (Indonesian) already fallen and hit by the stairs as well
lepas dari mulut harimau masuk ke mulut buaya (Indonesian) freed from the tiger’s mouth to enter the crocodile’s mouth
iz ognya da v polymya (Russian) from fire to flame
yağmurdan kaçarken doluya yakalanmak (Turkish) caught by the hail while running away from the rain
24.
The Great Beyond
człowiek strzela, Pan Bóg kule nosi (Polish)
man shoots, God carries the bullets
So where do we go once the body has been burned, buried or, as with the Zoroastrian Parsees of India, pecked off the skeleton by vultures? It’s hard for us to believe that the particular vitality that once animated the face of a loved one hasn’t gone somewhere:
hanmdohdaka (Dakota, USA) to tell of one’s intercourse with the spiritual world, to speak unintelligibly
dagok (Malay) clouds on the horizon of weird and changing form (believed to be ghosts of murdered men)
beina-fœrsla (Old Icelandic) the removal of bones (from one churchyard to another)
Fancy meeting you again
For Hindus, Buddhists and Native Americans, among others, the afterlife is not necessarily another place:
gatâgati (Sanskrit) going and coming, dying and being born again
púsápalan panninavan (Tamil) one who in the present life receives the reward of merit acquired in a former state
apagabbha (Pali, India) not entering another womb (i.e. not destined for another rebirth)
tihanmdeya (Dakota, USA) to have been acquainted in a former state of existence
Just a jealous guy
For others, the spirits of the dead may well stick around and remain animate enough to be called on in times of need:
hanmde (Dakota, USA) to have intercourse with the spirit world
zangu (Luvale, Zambia) a dance to immunize an adulterous woman to the spirit of her dead husband
ngar (Kaurna Warra, Australia) the call of a dead person
kuinyo (Kaurna Warra, Australia) the voice of the dead
andoa (Bakweri, Cameroon) to invoke spirits by spitting out the juice of leaves
havu (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to make an offering to a ghost
False friends
sad (Sanskrit) being
pop (Bosnian) priest
bigot (French) sanctimonious
eleven (Hungarian) the living
fun (Lao) dream
hell (Norwegian) luck
Holy cockerel
Sometimes mere spirits aren’t enough and stronger supernatural agents have to be called on. Many and varied are the prayers and rituals offered to the world’s deities:
kahók (Tagalog, Philippines) the act of dipping fingers in holy water
a-cāmati (Sanskrit) to sip water from the palm of one’s hand for purification
hacer (se) cruces (Latin American Spanish) to cross yourself in the hope that God will help you to understand.
thì thup (Vietnamese) to go down on one’s knees then get up again, to make repeated obeisances
kiam (Malay) to stand during prayer
anda (Latin American Spanish) a wooden frame for carrying images of saints in processions
miau (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) to wave a cockerel over a person while uttering a prayer
Broken sewing needles
Many and varied too are the building of their shrines and how they are decorated:
abhi-gamana (Sanskrit) the act of cleansing and smearing with cowdung the way leading to the image of the deity
laplap bilong alta (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) an altar cloth
hari kuyo (Japanese) a shrine for broken sewing needles (out of respect for the tools of the sewing trade)
tintueta-wen (Buli, Ghana) the personal god of a living or dead person whose shrine has not yet been transferred to the front of the house
bìt torng lăng prá (Thai) doing a good deed in secret (literally, pasting gold leaf onto the back of the Buddha image)
One who understands
In most cultures, one spirit stands pre-eminent above all others and is always the One to be both consulted and worshipped:
Hawëníyu’ (Mingo, USA) God (literally, he is the one whose word/voice is good)
olumonron (Yoruba, Nigeria, Benin and Togo) one who understands people’s problems, God
Candle cormorant
‘He who is near the church is often far from God,’ say the French; and there is always a risk of substituting religiosity for virtue:
hywl (Welsh) religious or emotional fervour, as experienced with preaching, poetry reading, sporting events, etc.
une grenouille de bénitier (French) an extremely devout churchwoman (literally, a frog of the holy-water basin)
Kerzlschlucker (Austrian German) an insufferably pious person who never misses a mass (literally, a candle cormorant)
On a hedgehog’s back
The English language is full of relics of our former, more religious days.
The expression ‘crikey’ is a truncation of the oath ‘by Christ’s key’ and ‘bloody’ of ‘by our Lady’. Socrates swore ni ton kuna, by the dog; and Pythagoras is said to have sworn ma tin tetrakton, by the number four. Even atheistic Baudelaire swore by the sacred St Onion. The following expressions of astonished disbelief are just as outlandish:
Kors i taket! (Swedish) Cross in the ceiling! (used when something rare happens)
Toushite svet, vynosite chemodany! (Russian) Switch off the light and take out your suitcases! (used when something is a great surprise)
Holla die Waldfee! (German) Ooh, the forest’s fairy! (exclamation of surprise, often with an ironic connotation)
In groppa al riccio! (Italian) On a hedgehog’s back! (the response to which is Con le mutande di ghisa!, Wearing underpants made of cast iron!)
Sounds better
Japanese monks invented pious euphemisms so as not to taint the inner sanctum with jarring worldly words. Whipping came to be called nazu (caressing), tears shiotaru (dropping salt), money moku (eyes), testicles ryō gyaku (spiritual globes), and toilets kishisho (a place of truth).
Charismatic
However much some would prefer it if none of us believed in anything, it seems that holy men (and women) are here to stay:
vusitavant (Pali, India) one who has reached perfection (in chaste living)
mana (Polynesian dialect) the spiritual charisma attributed to holy people
samádhi (Tamil) the abstract contemplation of an ascetic, in which the soul is considered to be independent of the senses; a sepulchre, grave
nésajjika-dhutanga (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a religious observance which restrains a man from sleeping or lying down
an-avakānkshamāna (Sanskrit) not wishing impatiently (said of ascetics who, having renounced all food, expect death without impatience)
anupabbajjā (Pali, India) giving up worldly life in imitation of another
On reflection
Magic numbers
Certain groupings have particular significance, particularly in Southern Asia.
3 tam-cuong (Vietnamese) the three fundamental bonds – prince and minister, father and son, husband and wife
4 tu-linh (Vietnamese) the four supernatural creatures – dragon, unicorn, tortoise, phoenix
5 bani khoms (Yemeni) practitioners of the five despised trades (barber, butcher, bloodletter, bath attendant and tanner)
6 luc-nghe (Vietnamese) the six arts – propriety, music, archery, charioteering, writing and mathematics
7 saptavidha-ratnaya (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) the seven gems or treasures of a Chakrawarti king – chariot wheel, wife, jewel, elephant, horse, son, prime minister
8 ashtāng (Hindi) prostration in salutation or adoration, so as to touch the ground with the eight principal parts of the body, i.e. with the knees, hands, feet, breasts, eyes, head, mouth and mind
9 nasāya-ratna (Sanskrit) the nine precious gems (pearl, ruby, topaz, diamond, emerald, lapis lazuli, coral, sapphire and garnet) which are supposed to be related to the nine planets
10 dasa-mūtraka (Sanskrit) the urine of ten (elephant, buffalo, camel, cow, goat, sheep, horse, donkey, man and woman)
Whistling in the wind
If your god isn’t interested you may just have to fall back on other means:
itinatalagá (Tagalog, Philippines) to place oneself at the mercy of fate
uhranout (Czech) to cast the evil eye on somebody, to bewitch someone
bino (Gilbertese, Oceania) an incantation to get a woman back by turning a gourd very rapidly and allowing the wind to whistle into the opening
naffata (Arabic) a woman who spits on the knots (in exercising a form of Arabian witchcraft in which women tie knots in a cord and spit upon them with an imprecation)
The crystal ball
You might think that the advice of spirits and gods would be enough to comfort and direct humankind, but not a bit of it. We are so desperate to know what the future holds for us that almost anything will do:
fakane (Bugotu, Solomon Islands) to divine, using a broken coconut shell
koffiedik kijken (Dutch) reading tea leaves, predicting the future (literally, coffee-grounds-looking)
ber-dreymr (Old Icelandic) having clear dreams as to the future
lowa (Setswana, Botswana) a particular pattern in which a diviner’s bones have fallen
onnevalamine (Estonian) telling one’s fortune by pouring molten lead into cold water (on New Year’s Eve)
chichiri-wiirik (Buli, Ghana) a man who can call on fairies to reveal things to him; a type of diviner
vayasa mutírtsu (Telugu, India) a crow crossing from the left side to the right (which Hindus consider a good omen)
Fringed with noodles
We all hope things will turn out well but there are all kinds of superstitions that wishing each other good luck might bring its reverse. When someone in Norway goes fishing, he is wished skitt fiske, lousy fishing.
German has two expressions for being lucky: Schwein haben, to have a pig – as a pig symbolizes good luck and lots of sausages; and Sott haben, to have soot – because, according to folklore, touching a chimney sweep brings luck. The French describe someone who is incredibly lucky as il a le cul bordé de nouilles, literally, his arse is fringed with noodles.
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
When pigs fly
na kukovo ljato (Bulgarian) in a cuckoo summer
kad na vrbi rodi grože (Croatian) when willows bear grapes
når der er to torsdage i en uge (Danish) when a week has two Thursdays
quand les poules auront des dents (French) when hens have teeth
am Sankt Nimmerleinstag (German) on St Never-ever-day
majd ha piros hó esik (Hungarian) when it’s snowing red snowflakes
quando Pasqua viene a maggio (Italian) when Easter falls in May
tuyaning dumi yerga tekkanda (Uzbek) when the camel’s tail reaches the ground
când o fi bunica fată mare (Romanian) when my grandma will be a virgin again
kag-da rak svist-nyet (Russian) when the crayfish whistles
balik ağaca / kavağa çikinca (Turkish) when fish climb trees/poplar trees
cuando las ranas críen pelos (Spanish) when frogs grow hair
The Wonder of Whiffling
CLATTERFARTS
AND JAISIES
Getting acquainted
Great talkers should be crop’d,
for they have no need of ears
(Franklin: Poor Richard’s Almanack 1738)
Once upon a time, your first contact with someone was likely to be face to face. These days you’re as likely to get together via the computer:
floodgaters people who send you email inquiries and, after receiving any kind of response, begin swamping you with multiple messages of little or no interest
digerati those who have, or claim to have, expertise in computers or the Internet
disemvowel to remove the vowels from a word in an email, text message, etc, to abbreviate it
bitslag all the useless rubble one must plough through on the Net to get to the rich information ore
ham legitimate email messages (as opposed to spam)
DOG AND BONE
Possibly the most used English word of greeting – hello – only came into common usage with the arrival of the telephone. Its inventor, Alexander Graham Bell, felt that the usual Victorian greeting of ‘How do you do?’ was too long and old-fashioned for his new device. He suggested the sailor’s cry ahoy! as the best way to answer his machine and operators at the first exchange did just that. But ahoy! didn’t prove popular because it felt too abrupt. Compromise was soon reached with hello!, a word that came straight from the hunting-field. But could Bell ever have foreseen some of the ways in which his device would come to be used?
Hollywood no (US slang 1992) a lack of response (to a proposal, phone call, message etc.)
scotchie (South African slang) a ‘missed call’ which communicates some p
re-arranged message or requires the receiver to call back at their expense, thereby saving the first caller the cost of the call
fox hole (UK slang 2007) the area beneath one’s desk (in these days of open-plan offices) where telephone calls can take place peacefully
SNAIL MAIL
Of course, the old-fashioned letter still has its uses, as these Service slang words indicate: the key one being, in these days of retentive hard drives, that once you’ve destroyed your message, it leaves no trace:
yam yum a love letter
giz to read a pal’s letter to his girlfriend; to offer advice
gander a look through the mail, a glance over another’s shoulder at a letter or paper
flimsies the rice paper on which important messages are written and which can be eaten without discomfort in case of capture
VISITING HOURS
Or you can do that wonderfully traditional thing and pay a call in person:
pasteboard (1864) to leave one’s visiting card at someone’s residence
cohonestation (17C) honouring with one’s company
gin pennant (Royal Navy slang) a green and white triangular pennant flown to indicate an invitation on board for drinks
GR8
The arrival of mobile phones on the scene led immediately to some interesting usages. In the first wave of texting came shortened versions of much-used phrases:
I Never Knew There Was a Word For It Page 27