I Never Knew There Was a Word For It

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I Never Knew There Was a Word For It Page 32

by Adam Jacot De Boinod

muddle (17C) to wallow in mud

  walk (from German) to press cloth, knead or roll paste; then (Old English) to roll, toss, move about

  insult (16C from Latin) to leap upon; then (16C) to glory or triumph over

  random (15C) great speed, violence; then (17C) of a shot: haphazard, without purpose, fired at any range other than point blank

  MUTTONERS AND

  GOLDEN FERRETS

  Sport

  Sport is sweetest when

  there be no lookers on

  (1616)

  Sport has always been a part of British national life. In the beginning were the informal games that anyone could play anywhere:

  way-zaltin (Somerset) a game in which two persons standing back to back interlace each other’s arms and by bending forward alternately raise each other from the ground

  hot cockles (1580) a rustic game in which one player lay face downwards, or knelt down with his eyes covered, and being struck by the others in turn, guessed who struck him

  hinch-pinch (1603) a game where one person hits another softly, then the other player hits back with a little more force, and each subsequent blow in turn is harder, until it becomes a real fight

  IN TOUCH

  Many of our best-known sports started life in similar fashion. The earliest games of football involved one village taking on another, in violent, day-long combats where broken legs and bruised heads were common. Current slang reveals that underneath, perhaps, little has changed:

  blaggudy (Wales) rough, dirty (especially of a football or rugby team)

  clogger (UK slang 1970) a soccer player who regularly injures other players

  sprig-stomping (New Zealand 1993) the deliberate stamping with studded boots on a recumbent rugby opponent

  falling leaf a long-range shot in football which sees the ball change direction radically in the course of its flight

  spaghetti-legs routine a goalkeeper’s trick employed to distract a penalty taker

  SECONDS AWAY

  Another of our oldest sports had similar rough-and-tumble beginnings:

  clow (Winchester 19C) a box on the ear

  glass jaw (US slang 1940) of a boxer with an inability to withstand a punch to the chin

  haymaker (1912) an unrestrained punch usually leading to a knockout, whereby the fist is swung wide in an arc

  claret christening (b.1923) the first blood that flows in a boxing match

  waterboy (US police slang 1930s) a boxer who can be bribed or coerced into losing for gambling purposes

  FROM LAND’S END TO BROADWAY

  Wrestling, too, has become less violent and more theatrical over the years, with a terminology that dates back to its origins, supplemented by more recent slang from around the world …

  falx (Tudor–Stuart) a grip round the small of the back

  Cornish hug a hug that causes one to be thrown over (Cornish men were famous wrestlers)

  sugarbagging the tossing of an opponent onto the canvas as if he were a bag of sugar

  whizzer an arm lock trapping one’s arm against the opponent’s body from a position behind him

  potato (US slang 1990) a real hit that injures, as opposed to an orchestrated, harmless one

  jobber a wrestler whose primary function is losing to better-known wrestlers

  broadway a drawn result (so-called because, ideally, the result makes both men bigger stars)

  OVER AND OUT

  Another quintessentially English game has a host of extraordinary terms, from the yorker (a ball pitched directly at the batsman’s feet) to silly mid-off (a fielding position close to and in front of the batsman). Other words have fallen out of fashion:

  muttoner (Winchester College 1831) a blow from a cricket ball on the knuckles, the bat being at the time clasped by them

  slobber (1851) to fail to grasp the cricket ball cleanly in fielding

  bowl a gallon (Eton College c.1860) to get a hat-trick (the bowler then earned a gallon of beer)

  TO THE 19TH

  For the more senior sportsman, another gentler but equally demanding game with British (well Scottish, strictly) roots has been successfully exported around the world. First comes the teeing off, with all the problems that that entails:

  waggle pre-stroke trial movements

  sclaffing skidding the club over the grass before it hits the ball

  skull to hit the ball too far above its centre

  shank to hit the ball with the neck of the club

  whiff a stroke that misses the ball

  then the slow or fast progression down the fairway:

  chilli-dip a weak, lofted shot that follows a mis-hit that has managed to hit more ground than ball (from the image of taking a taco and scooping up a helping of chilli)

  fried egg a ball lying embedded in sand

  golden ferret a golf stroke where the ball is holed from a bunker

  mulligan a free extra shot sometimes taken as a second chance in a social match to a player who has made a bad one, not counted on his score-card

  before the triumphant arrival at the green:

  frog hair the well-cut grass that divides the fairway from the green itself and is of a length and smoothness somewhere between the two

  steamy a short shot or a putt that passes over or through the green

  stiff a shot that stops so close to the hole that it must be impossible to miss the putt

  TOUCHÉ

  Fencing, by contrast to all of the above, originated on the Continent and so has a language with a very European feel:

  mandritta (Tudor–Stuart 1595) a cut from right to left

  passado (Shakespeare: Love’s Labour’s Lost 1588) a motion forwards and a thrust

  volt (1692) to leap with both feet in the air by your opponent’s left shoulder

  appel a tap or stamp of the foot, serving as a warning of one’s intent to attack

  derobement an evasion of the opponent’s attempt to take or beat the blade while keeping the sword arm straight and threatening the opponent

  TOUR DE FRANCE

  Since their invention in France in 1860, bicycles have been eagerly embraced by our Gallic neighbours. So it’s hardly surprising that cycling is a sport with French jargon:

  musette a small cotton shoulder bag containing food that’s handed to riders during a race

  domestique a member of a professional cycling team, whose job is to ride solely for the benefit of the team and team leader, instead of their own glory

  lanterne rouge the overall last-place rider in a stage race (from the red light found on the back of a train)

  But as soon as things start going wrong, we’re back to good old English:

  bonk a cyclist’s feeling of being devoid of energy

  sag wagon the vehicle that carries bicyclists that have withdrawn from the event (due to injury, bicycle malfunction, tiredness etc.)

  HEY DUDE!

  Surfers follow the waves; and though you can find something to ride on in Newquay, they’re altogether bigger, better and harder to stay on in Big Sur and Bondi …

  shark biscuit (Australian slang c.1910) a novice surfer

  hang five (US 1960s) to ride with the toes of one foot hooked over the front of the board

  knots the bruises and cuts gained from battling the waves and his board (a surfer’s status mark)

  grubbing falling off your board while surfing

  frube a surfer who does not catch a wave for the whole time they are in the water

  hodad (1962) a show-off who hangs around surfing beaches, boasting of his exploits and trying to pick up girls, who has rarely, if ever, tried to surf

  cowabunga! (Australian slang 1954) a shout of elation on surfing down a superb wave

  COLORADO CLIFFHANGER

  Climbing terms, likewise, come from mountainous places:

  gingich (Scotland 1716) the chief climber or leader in climbing rocks

  flash (Canada 1995) to climb a wall successfully on the first try

  dyno
ing (Colorado 1992) leaping to a distant or out-of-reach hand hold

  hang-dogging (Colorado 1992) a derogatory term for inexperienced climbers who hang on the rope while attempting feats beyond their ability

  TROLLING AND YUMPING

  Every sport, indeed, has both specialized terminology and also the kind of insiders’ slang that makes seasoned practitioners feel quietly different, whether that be …

  Rowing …

  gully-shooting (b.1891) pointing oars upwards when rowing

  gimp seat seat number 3 in an eight-person boat (often regarded as having the least responsibility)

  blip-o! (late 19C) a derisive cry at a boat’s coxswain colliding with anything

  Tennis …

  ketchepillar (early 16C) a tennis player

  nacket (1833) a tennis ball-boy

  Gymnastics …

  coffee grinder a manoeuvre from a squatting position on the floor involving a circle of the leg while keeping both hands on the floor

  fliffis a twisting double somersault performed on the trampoline

  fly-away a horizontal-bar dismount method with a backward somersault

  Billiards …

  feather to run the cue backwards and forwards across the bridge between finger and thumb prior to making a shot

  english the spin imparted to the ball

  cocked hat a shot in which the ball hit by the white rebounds off three different cushions towards a middle pocket

  or any of the other ways active people have found to pass their time, from long ago …

  cock-squailing an old Shrove Tuesday sport involving flinging sticks at a cock tied by the leg, one penny per throw and whoever kills him takes him away

  strag (Lancashire) to decoy other people’s pigeons

  trolling (Yorkshire) rolling hardboiled eggs down a slope (on Easter Monday)

  dwile flunking (Suffolk) floorcloth throwing (a serious, competitive game)

  postman’s knock (Oxfordshire) a method of sliding on ice (by moving on one foot and tapping the ice with the other)

  to right now …

  to do an Ollie (skateboarding) to flip your ride in the air and stay aloft upon it

  yump (rally-driving) to leave the ground in one’s vehicle when going over a ridge

  sandbagging (motorcycle racing) a stratagem whereby the favourite lets the rest of the field go on ahead, confident that when necessary he can regain the lead and win the race as expected

  bulldogging (rodeo) to leap off a horse and then wrestle with a steer (the intention being to twist it by the horns and force it over onto the ground)

  zorbing (New Zealand) harnessing oneself inside a huge inflatable PVC ball, then rolling more than 650 feet downhill

  WORD JOURNEYS

  upshot (16C) the final shot in archery that decided a match

  racket (16C from Arabic via French) the palm of the hand

  umpire (15C from Latin: non par, via Old French) not equal

  gymnasium (16C from Ancient Greek via Latin) a school for exercising in the nude

  RUBBY-DUBBY

  Country pursuits

  He that would have good luck in

  horses must kiss the parson’s wife

  (1678)

  By long tradition in Britain, certain outdoor activities have been elevated to a higher category, that of ‘field sports’. The most controversial of these is currently banned by law, though what this ban actually amounts to is anyone’s guess:

  own the moment in a hunt when the hounds show that they have found a scent

  cut a voluntary to fall off one’s horse while hunting

  craner (c.1860) one who hesitates at a difficult jump

  tantivy (1641) at full gallop

  shoe-polisher a derisive term for a dog that doesn’t stray far from a hunter’s feet

  TALLY HO!

  Since 2004 deer can no longer be pursued with hounds in the UK, marking the end of a tradition dating back well before these terms from the Tudor–Stuart period:

  abatures the traces left by a stag in the underwood through which he has passed

  velvet-tip the down upon the first sprouting horns of a young deer

  rascal a lean deer not fit to hunt

  rechate the calling together of the hounds in hunting

  dowcets the testicles of a deer

  GAME ON

  You may however still stalk and shoot these animals, as you may game birds such as pheasant or grouse. Which is perhaps ironic when you consider how much more efficient an instrument a gun is than a pack of hounds. As the Victorian dramatist W. S. Gilbert put it, ‘Deer stalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns’.

  collimate (1837) to close an eye to aim at a target

  nipshot (1568) in shooting: amiss in some way

  fire into the brown (1871) shooting into the midst of a covey instead of singling out one bird

  tailor (1889) to shoot at a bird, trying to miss

  air washed a bird that lands and doesn’t move or falls dead in the air and hits the ground (thus giving off very little scent on the ground and being difficult for dogs to find)

  making game of a dog when it finds fresh scent

  BIRDING

  A gentler approach to our feathered friends has its own special terminology. And as any birder will tell you, it’s simply not accurate to call them all twitchers:

  squeaking noisily kissing the back of your hand in order to attract hidden birds

  lifer a particular bird seen for the first time

  getting a tick seeing a bird you’ve not seen before

  gripping off seeing a bird when someone else doesn’t

  stringer a person suspected of lying about bird sightings

  dipping out missing seeing a bird

  whiffling of geese: descending rapidly from a height once the decision to land has been made, involving fast side-slipping first one way and then the other

  GETTING HOOKED

  Another ancient field sport remains highly unlikely to be banned (at least while Britain remains a democracy):

  broggle (1653) to fish, especially for eels, by thrusting a sharp stick with bait on it into holes in the river bed

  zulu (1898) an artificial fly

  fizgig (1565) a kind of dart or harpoon with which seamen strike fish

  guddle (1818) to catch trout by groping with the hands under the stones or banks of a stream

  angletwitch (c.940) a worm used as bait in fishing

  rubby-dubby (game fishing jargon) the minced fish (mackerel, pilchards etc.) used as a bait for larger fish especially sharks

  angishore (Newfoundland) a man too lazy to fish

  ROYAL FLUSH

  One pursuit of folk from country and town alike is known also as ‘the sport of kings’, a moniker that certainly remains appropriate with our current crop of royals:

  persuader (Australian slang) the jockey’s whip

  poppism (1653) the smacking sound with which riders encourage their horses

  call a cab the jockey’s action in waving one arm to hold his balance when he and the horse are taking a fence

  drummer a horse that throws about his fore legs irregularly

  morning glory a horse ‘ catching pigeons’ (showing great promise on the training gallops) but unable to repeat the form on a racetrack

  airedale (US slang 1960s) a worthless racehorse

  post the blue (b.1909) to win the Derby

  GIFT HORSES

  With large sums of money involved, the temptation to tamper with the proper result is as old as racing itself:

  ingler (underworld slang 1797) a crooked horse breeder

  bishop to disguise the age of a horse by tinkering with its teeth

  drop anchor fraudulently to cause a horse to run slowly in a race

  hook (New Zealand 1910) to ride a horse with the aim of losing

  ODDS ON

  Down by the track, there’s little that passes the bookies by:

  pencil-f
ever (c.1872) the laying of odds against a horse certain to lose

  springer (UK slang 1922) a horse on which the odds suddenly shorten

  skinner (Australian slang 1891) a horse which wins at long odds (a betting coup for bookmakers who do not have to pay out on a heavily backed favourite)

  stickout (US slang 1937) a racehorse that seems a certain winner

  nap (bookies’ jargon) a racing tipster’s best bet of the day

  scaler (New Zealand 1908) a bookmaker who decamps without paying out

  They’ve even developed their own method of communication without words, known as tic-tac, where they signal with their arms to communicate complicated changes in the odds to outside bookmakers. To these professionals, there’s slang for any bet you care to make:

  macaroni odds of 20/1

  carpet odds of 3/1

  elef a vier odds of 11/4

  bottle odds of 2/1

  shoulder odds of 7/4

  ear’ole odds of 6/4

  up the arm odds of 11/8

  wrist odds of 5/4

  VERY GOOD GOING

  In the US and Australia (amongst other places) they have their own words for particular combinations of winners:

  exacta or perfecta a wager in which the first two finishers in a race, in exact order of finish, must be picked

  quinella a wager in which first two finishers must be picked, but payoff is made no matter which of the two wins and which runs second

  trifecta to pick three horses in a particular race to finish 1st, 2nd and 3rd (the payout is determined by the betting pool on the turnover of the particular bet)

 

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