Ambitious

by Monica McKayhan

  After our session was over, Mari and I dumped our empty cups and walked out into the fall New York air. We headed down Broadway, and I walked Mari to the subway station. I wanted to bring up the subject of the fall social again. Wanted to ask her to go, but I wasn’t sure if she would be willing to go with me. Or if her parents would even allow her to attend a dance with a boy. So I dropped it. If I was going stag and she was going stag, there was a good chance that we’d run into each other there anyway. So I let it go.

  “You don’t need me to ride into Brooklyn with you, do you?”

  “No, I think I can manage from here,” she said and smiled. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

  “Okay, kid. Don’t forget to send me a text message and let me know that you made it home.”

  “I will.”

  I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my hoodie and watched as she took the stairs down into the subway station; her backpack draped across her shoulder, she never looked back. After she was no longer within view, I took off down Broadway toward home.

  Dad was in sweats and a T-shirt; his legs stretched across the ottoman while the sportscaster on ESPN talked about last night’s game.

  I stuck my head into the family room. “What’s up, Dad?”

  “Hello, son. How was school?”

  “It was really good. How was work?”

  “Not bad,” he said. “I got tickets to Friday night’s game. Maybe you and Preston can go. I’ll arrange for a car to pick you guys up.”

  “How about me and you?” I asked. I missed the days that Dad and I hung out. When I was younger, we went to all the Yankees’ home games, all the Knicks games and all the Broadway shows together. I missed those days. His job seemed to absorb most of his time, and our time together had become less and less of a priority in his life.

  “Gotta work,” he said. “Sorry, son. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

  “It’s cool, Dad.” I let him off the hook. “I landed the role in an off-off-Broadway play…I’ll be playing Walter Lee Younger in A Raisin in the Sun.”

  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, son.”

  “About A Raisin in the Sun?”

  “About that performing arts school.” He raised up in his seat. “When I gave you my approval, I didn’t think you were really serious.”

  “I was pretty serious, Dad.”

  “And you’re honestly not interested in playing ball anymore?”

  “I still like basketball, Dad. That hasn’t changed. I’m sure I’ll play again. Maybe in college,” I assured him. “Right now I want to focus on acting.”

  My dad shook his head; didn’t really respond to my last comment.

  “We’ll probably be performing the play around Thanksgiving. You think you can come check it out?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, Drew. Maybe if I’m not working.”

  I was willing to accept that. At least he didn’t say no.

  “Okay, cool. I’m gonna go hop in the shower. Are we ordering takeout for dinner?”

  “I brought Chinese home. All your favorites. Orange chicken and moo shu pork.”

  “Egg rolls, too?”

  “Of course. Can’t have Chinese food without egg rolls, right?”

  “Right.”

  I was disappointed. I wanted my father to be excited about Premiere. I wanted him to understand how talented his son was, and not just with a basketball in hand. I had other talents, and if he’d just give me a chance, he’d see. I hoped that he would come around someday.

  I hopped into the shower; let the warm water cascade over my face. When I heard my phone chirp, I hopped out of the shower, stumbled over my Jordan tennis shoes and stubbed my toe on the edge of the bed. I’d been patiently awaiting a text message from Mari. She promised to let me know when she made it home. I grabbed the phone from my nightstand. It was a text message from Ashley.

  PUNK.

  That was all she said. The four-letter word cut deep. It caused me to look inward—wonder if I was really behaving like a punk. I had been up-front with her. I told her from the beginning that she was beautiful and I liked being around her, but that I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. I probably shouldn’t have spent the night at her house when her parents went away for the weekend. I guess that might’ve caused some confusion. I didn’t think it meant that we were in a committed relationship.

  I didn’t respond. Instead I sent a text to Mari.

  Make it home?

  Sí.

  Cool.

  Busy?

  No. What’s up?

  I was busy. I was still dripping wet from hopping out of the shower, but I had time for Mari. When my phone rang, I answered it on the first ring.

  “I’m nervous about the second round of tryouts on Saturday,” she announced.

  “Why are you nervous? You’re a great dancer.”

  “So is everybody else who made it through to the next round. The competition will be that much tougher this time.”

  “It just means you gotta work harder, kid. Can’t slack this time.”

  “I didn’t slack the first time.” There was laughter in her voice.

  “I bet you didn’t give 110 percent,” I said. “You probably only gave ninety-five. This time, Mari, you gotta bring it.”

  “I know,” she said. “I just needed to hear it. Thanks for listening to me, Drew. I usually talk about these things with my best friend. But my best friend is not really my best friend anymore. She’s my competitor.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Remember the girls in the competition with CALIENTE plastered across their chests…the ones who made the crowd go crazy?”

  “Oh, yeah, the hot girls with the sexy little shorts on,” I said, and Mari was silent for a moment. “Oops, did I say that out loud?”

  “Yes, you did,” she said.

  “Sorry.”

  “That was my ex–best friend and some girl that I can’t stand.”

  “Why isn’t she your best friend anymore? What happened?”

  “The competition happened,” Mari explained. “And now, we’ll be competing with each other in the second round.”

  “And what exactly is the problem?” I asked.

  “It’s just uncomfortable, that’s all.”

  “Then you’ll just have to win, that’s all. She doesn’t have anything you don’t have. They were good, but you and Jasmine were better. And with a lot of work, you can beat them…easily.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so.”

  “Thanks, Drew. Thanks for trying to cheer me up,” she said.

  “Did it work?”

  “Not really, but I appreciate you trying.”

  “Your best friend will come around. Just give it time. If she’s your real friend, then you’ll work it out. Otherwise, she’s probably not your friend anyway and no love lost. Right?”

  “I guess so,” she said. “I have to go. My mom’s calling me for dinner. I’ll call you later.”

  “Okay. That’s cool.”

  I sat on the edge of my bed for a moment—still wet from jumping out of the shower. My heart went out to Mari. I wished I knew how to help her, but I didn’t have any answers. There were times when Preston and I got into it, but before the end of the day we were friends again and I couldn’t tell you what we were fighting about. Girls were different. They held on to things a lot longer. They took things to a different level, and made things worse than they really were. But I knew that Mari and her friend would work it out. Who could stay mad at her?

  I hopped back into the shower; finished what I’d started. Closed my eyes and rehearsed my lines for the play.

  fourteen

  Marisol

  Saturday. The big day. The day of all days. It was the second round of Dance America. During this round forty people would be eliminated and ten people would remain and go on to the finals. Ultimately, the last person still standing at the end of the competition would go
on to become famous—or at least, that’s what was expected. After starring in a role on the big screen, how could you not become famous?

  My fingernails were gnawed down to nothing, and my knees shook a little. I chewed on a couple of TUMS, hoping to settle the rumblings going on in the pit of my stomach. I reclined in my seat and took a look at Jasmine, who was seated next to me. As she sent text messages from her cell phone, she wasn’t nearly as nervous as I was. She was cool and calm, like a rock.

  “How can you be so calm?” I asked Jasmine. “Aren’t you a little bit nervous?”

  “A little. But it’s not that serious.”

  “It is for me,” I told her. “This is everything I could’ve ever dreamed of, Jas. Do you realize that this could change our lives…forever?”

  She looked up from her phone and smiled. “Victory is sweet. And yes, I’ve dreamed of winning. With the scholarship money, I could pay my own way to college and take some pressure off of my folks. But we can’t let our nerves get the best of us. We have to remain calm and just do our best. We have to remember everything that J.C. taught us, and go out there and nail it.”

  “What college will you use the money for?” I asked. Mostly I wanted to take my mind off the competition and focus on something else.

  “Julliard, of course.” She grinned. “What about you, Mari? Where are you going to college?”

  “Umm. I hadn’t really thought about it much. I’m just a freshman. I have time to figure it all out.”

  “I thought that everyone who attended Premiere was Julliard-bound.”

  “I know it’s a good school.”

  “It’s only the most prestigious performing arts college in the world. And it’s right here in the city. It’s just a train ride from Brooklyn.”

  “Don’t you want to go away somewhere? Get away from everything that you know and discover the world?”

  “Not really.”

  “I do,” I told her. “I want to discover what life is like outside Brooklyn. I wanna go somewhere like California or somewhere abroad.”

  “I want to stay right here in New York…my home…the place where I was born and bred. No place like it.”

  “That’s true. But my parents drive me crazy with their strict rules. They don’t give me any room to breathe. I can’t wait until I’m an adult and able to make my own decisions.” I propped my feet up on the back of the seat in front of me. “I live for that day.”

  I watched as Luz took the stage, wearing black shorts and a red cropped top. With her hair pulled into a ponytail, she shook to the music. I waited for that original move; the one thing that would send the crowd into a frenzy—the one thing that would set her apart from the rest, but there was nothing. Nothing was original about her routine. She was just shaking her booty as everyone before her had done. After she took a bow, I was shocked to know that her routine was over. Especially since she’d done so well during the first round.

  “Not bad for an amateur.” Celine pushed her way toward my legs, pushing them down from the seat in front of me. “You have to bring your A game to a competition like this.”

  “Diva. What’s up?” asked Jasmine.

  I didn’t have the energy to endure Celine before going onstage. She’d made the top fifty, and had already performed her earth-shattering performance.

  “Everything is wonderful. Just waiting for this competition to be over so that I can pack my bags for Hollywood,” she said.

  “How do you know that you’re going to Hollywood?” Jasmine asked.

  “Did you see my routine?” she asked—not really expecting an answer. “Your routine was okay. I liked the pop-lock thing you had going on last week. But I hope you got another bag of tricks up your sleeves today.”

  As she tossed her hair to one side, I hoped she wasn’t going to stick around. She was like a snake releasing her venom on us, and we didn’t need that at the moment. She was attacking my confidence, which was probably her goal. I stood. I wanted to get as far away from Celine as possible, so I headed for the ladies’ room. I didn’t have to go, but I took a look at myself in the mirror; freshened my lip gloss. I took a deep breath and glanced at the door as it swung open.

  Luz walked in. “Hey,” she said.

  “Hey,” I responded and waited for her next comment.

  She said nothing more. Just stepped into one of the stalls. I stood there and waited for her to finish. We had a lot to talk about, and I was okay with discussing it right there in the girls’ bathroom. When she came out of the stall, she stepped to one of the sinks, turned on the water and washed her hands. Just as I was about to start a conversation, Catalina walked in.

  “That last act really sucked,” Catalina said. “You should’ve seen their finale. It was terrible.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Luz seemed uninterested.

  “Yes, girlfriend.” Catalina walked over to Luz. “You should wear your hair up…like this.” She pulled Luz’s hair up on her head.

  “I don’t want to wear my hair like that. I’m cool with it being down.”

  Luz was growing tired of Catalina already. I could tell. I knew Luz better than anyone, and I knew that she was at the point of barely tolerating her. She needed her to win the next round of competition, which was why she was still around. Catalina could never take my place. I knew it. Luz knew it. And soon Catalina would know it. She was on her way to being kicked to the curb, and she didn’t even realize it yet. I chuckled inside at the thought.

  I pushed my bangs out of my face, took one last glance into the mirror and walked out of the restroom. Just as I stepped into the auditorium, my number was being called. I found my way to the stage. I said a little prayer before taking my place on the buffed shiny floor. My head down as I awaited the music, all fear went out the window. Confidence took over as the music resonated through the room. As I performed steps that J.C. had so graciously given me, I knew that I’d make it to the final ten. Into my hip-hop routine, I incorporated a salsa move, a bit of merengue and a snippet of bachata—all Latin dances. The crowd was hysterical.

  J.C. met me backstage, just as she’d done before. She hugged me.

  “That was phenomenal!” she exclaimed.

  “You think so?” I asked.

  “Are you kidding?” she asked. “Yours and Jasmine’s acts were the best all day!”

  She was right. The judges said the exact same thing—ours were the most original and the best of all fifty acts. It felt good hearing them say that, but it felt even better at the end of the competition when they announced the winners. Jasmine and I were both through to the next round. I was beside myself with excitement when they called us to the stage to stand next to the other eight people who’d made it. It was as if I was having an out-of-body experience.

  I watched as Luz and Catalina watched from the seats below. Unfortunately, they hadn’t been chosen to move forward. My heart went out to Luz. I knew that she’d given her all, and I hated to see my friend lose. Even though we weren’t speaking, I still cared about her. I didn’t want to see her hurt.

  As Celine ran her fingers through her hair, I wanted to stick my tongue out and give her the middle finger. She had already expressed her anger toward the judges and demanded a rematch, but to no avail. The judges had made their selections, and she wasn’t included. She was angry. When she looked my way, I smiled. And as we exited the auditorium, I brushed against her.

  “Next time you should bring your A game,” I told her and grinned.

  She snarled and rolled her eyes; walked on.

  Life was good.

  My parents weren’t quite ready for the news of my advancing in the competition. They never expected me to make it as far as I had, so finding the right words was tough for them.

  “I’m glad for you, Mari,” Poppy said sincerely.

  “And what exactly does this mean?” Mami asked.

  “It means that Jasmine and I are in the top ten. If we make it to the top five, we get to go to Hollywood and compete for a
dance role in a real live movie.”

  “Seriously, Mari?” asked my brother, Nico. “Are they going to cover your face up so you don’t break the camera if you win?”

  “Shut up, stupid.” I frowned.

  “Nico, leave your sister alone,” Poppy said.

  “So how long will this Hollywood thing last? How long will you be gone? And how will you travel there? And will you need our permission? And what type of movie is this anyway?” Mami asked too many questions. I wondered if she had plans of raining on my parade.

  “I haven’t won yet, Mami. Can we talk about it after I win?” I asked.

  She didn’t really answer. Instead she had a worried look on her face as she walked away; headed for the kitchen. Allowing me to attend Premiere was one thing, but now this. Dance America wasn’t quite in the plans before now, and she was worried.

  “Mari, I don’t know about you going clear across the country like that. California is a long way from here,” she finally said. “What about school?”

  “It’s only a few days, Mami. And the school arranges for you to complete your assignments…so I won’t really miss anything. Also, the competition pays for everything.”

  “What happened with Luz?” Nico asked. “I heard that she and Catalina made it through last week.”

  “She was eliminated today,” I told him.

  “Luz was eliminated?” Mom asked. “I thought the two of you were dancing together.”

  “We were…”

  “Luz dumped Mari for Catalina.”

  “She didn’t dump me…”

  “And now the two of them aren’t speaking.”

  “You’re not speaking to Luz? Why?” Mami asked. “She’s been your best friend since elementary school…as long as we’ve lived in this neighborhood. Is this competition changing who you are, Mari?”