by Beth Wiseman
Someone turned the music way down, then they all started asking him questions. Nice, friendly folks. He was happy to talk with them. But he finally called Charlotte even though he’d had two offers of places to stay. The man with the cold had offered Jacob some of his medicine, but Jacob didn’t feel sick, so he declined.
Charlotte was wide awake when her cell phone rang at ten thirty. She’d been praying Jacob would call, but when Terry’s Tattoos flashed across the screen of her phone, she hit End and lay back down. Jacob, where are you? She’d talked to Hannah three times, and each time, she’d assured Jacob’s sister that she was sure Jacob was fine, probably just decided to stay in a hotel somewhere. But Charlotte was doing enough worrying for all of them. Charlotte’s apartment was in the Galleria area, and while it wasn’t like being in downtown Houston, it wasn’t the safest place to be at night. She jumped when her voice mail pinged with a new message.
“Oh no,” she whispered as she listened.
She climbed out of bed, and a half hour later, she tapped on the locked glass door of Terry’s Tattoos, relieved to see Jacob sitting in a chair next to his suitcase. A heavyset man with long blond hair moved toward the door. He was covered in tattoos and walked with a slight limp. Charlotte’s heart thudded as she waited for the guy to unlock the door. She’d never visited any businesses on this street, and she had reasons for that. But she stepped across the threshold.
“Wie bischt, Charlotte.” Jacob stood up quickly, picked up his suitcase, and was smiling ear to ear as he waved bye to the four people still in the tattoo shop. Three men were playing cards, and a woman in the corner puffed on a cigarette. “Bye, Terry.” Jacob waved to the guy who’d unlocked the door, then he waved to the others. “Bye, Bruce and Lenny. And good luck with your husband, Cindy.”
“You take care, hon,” the woman said as she blew smoke. “Come back and see us anytime.”
Charlotte held her breath, trying not to breathe in the secondhand smoke as she followed Jacob out of the place.
“Jacob!” It was all she could muster in a loud whisper as she opened the back passenger door for him to stow his suitcase. Luckily, this late at night, she’d been able to park right in front of the tattoo shop. She slammed the door, hurried to open the front passenger door, and practically shoved him in. Stay calm, she reminded herself as she hurried to the other side of the car, tires squealing as she peeled away. She momentarily saw the woman and child, heard the tires squealing in her head, but forced the thoughts away. “What were you thinking going into a place like that, especially this late at night? I’ve been worried sick. Your family and Annie have been worried too. Why did you leave my apartment?”
Jacob was gleaming, not the least bit upset. “It was an adventure. My first adventure in the city.” He sat taller, then his expression shifted to something more serious, and in the darkness, it was hard to tell what he was thinking. “But I’m sorry I worried you.”
“Well, you did, and you didn’t answer my question. Why did you leave? I would have taken some time to show you around the next couple of days, before we head to Lancaster County.” Charlotte had already made up her mind that she was moving to Pennsylvania. She had a house she owned free and clear—even if she wasn’t sure she could live in it—and she wanted as far away from Ryan as she could get. Especially now that Jacob was okay, a visit to see her Amish friends would be a welcome relief. She’d sell Ethan’s house and start fresh in Amish country.
“Nee, I’m not going back, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go for a visit. Mamm, Daed, and Hannah would love that.”
“I’m not going for a visit,” she said, raising her chin, proud that she was going to make a new start, stop all the crying, and get her life in order. “I’m moving there.” Even in the dimly lit car, she saw Jacob’s mouth fall open.
“Huh? Why would you want to live there?”
“It might be everything you’re running away from, but I can’t think of a better place to start fresh.” She glanced his way when he didn’t say anything. “Jacob, it costs a lot of money to live here. And once the newness of cars, televisions, and electricity wears off, I think you’ll miss your old way of life.”
He shrugged but fixed his eyes on the few people walking the streets. Charlotte quickly thanked God for keeping Jacob safe.
“You know what they say,” she said as she made the last turn that led to her apartment complex. “The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”
Jacob snapped his head to face her, his eyes wide. “Who says that?”
Charlotte waved a hand in his direction. “I don’t know who said it first. It’s just an expression. People always think things are better somewhere else, but they usually aren’t.”
“Ach, it’s way better here.”
She pulled into her parking space and waited for Jacob to get his suitcase. Once he was in step with her, she said, “I have a lot of packing to do, but I’ll show you around some before we go back, okay?”
He nodded, which was a relief. When they’d gotten upstairs and were standing outside her door, Jacob grinned. “Look what I got.”
Charlotte didn’t look up at first, fumbling with the key in the lock, but after she’d pushed the door open and hit the light, she looked at him. She almost fell over the threshold when she saw his arm in the bright light of her apartment. “No, no, no,” she said softly before she grabbed his wrist to get a better look at his arm. “Your mother is going to kill me.” She leaned closer, pulling his short-sleeved shirt up his arm to see the tattoo in its entirety. “Forget your mother. Your father is going to kill me!” Charlotte dragged him into her apartment so hard that the suitcase fell from his hand as he stumbled inside. She slammed the door. Buddy was going nuts, barking and growling, but Charlotte didn’t even try to shush him.
“Why did you do this?” Charlotte couldn’t take her eyes off Jacob’s arm. Up near his shoulder was a blue crescent moon with stars around it. It was mostly hidden by his shirtsleeve, but his Amish family was not going to approve of a tattoo. Charlotte squeezed her eyes closed as she clenched his wrist tighter and repeated herself. “Why, oh why?”
Jacob frowned, but only briefly as he wiggled out of Charlotte’s grasp. Then his face lit up again. “I don’t know why you’re upset. Cindy said it would be cool to have a moon and stars on my arm since I like space stuff.”
She could have sworn he’d been wearing a long-sleeved shirt when he arrived. “Did you change shirts?” It should have been the last thing on her mind, but keeping his arm covered would become a priority soon.
“Ya. Terry asked me to take off my shirt so he could do the tattoo, but I ain’t real . . . muscular. So I put on a short-sleeved shirt I had in my suitcase and just rolled up the sleeve.”
Charlotte walked to her couch and fell onto it, her purse still in her hands. She laid her head back as she kicked off her flip-flops and lowered her eyelids. After a few moments, she opened one eye. Jacob was still standing right inside the door, and even though Buddy wasn’t barking anymore, he was growling and hopping from one side to the other every time Jacob tried to take a step.
“Is your dog gonna bite me?”
“Maybe.” Charlotte grinned, then called Buddy to her. Once he was beside her on the couch, she reached into her purse and dug around for her phone, noticing it was eleven thirty. Hannah had said to call, no matter what time it was, if Charlotte heard from Jacob. She scrolled through her contacts until she found the number and was about to hit Call when she looked at Jacob, who’d finally made it into the living room.
“He’s here,” she said when Hannah answered after the first ring. “And he’s fine. I’ll show him around Houston, and then he can come with me to Lancaster County in a few days.” Charlotte smiled, then explained her decision to move there. Despite her evening, she loved hearing Hannah’s excitement, both that Jacob was all right and that Charlotte was relocating. “Yep. That’s right. As soon as I can get packed, rent a U-Haul, and handle my affa
irs, Jacob and I will be driving there.”
She glanced up at Jacob, who was shaking his head and whispering, “I’m not going back.”
She covered the mouthpiece of her cell phone, mouthing back, “Yes, you are.”
After she hung up, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly, yawning. “I’ll get you some blankets for the couch. We need to get to sleep. I have tons of packing to do, some work stuff to finish, and a whole bunch of phone calls to make.” She yawned again as Jacob walked to one of the wicker chairs and sat down, Buddy growling.
“Charlotte . . .,” he said softly.
She waited, emotionally and physically exhausted. But packing to move and starting fresh would help keep her mind off of Ryan, even though punching him in the nose sounded almost as good as clawing Shelley’s eyes out, neither of which she’d really do.
“I’m not going back.” Jacob sat a little taller.
Charlotte sighed, hoping things would look different to him in the morning.
Four
Annie buried her face in her hands as Hannah and Lena sat on either side of her on the couch. She knew Jacob’s sister and mother were as upset as she was. Annie’s mother paced the living room as Annie’s brother, Daniel, stood nearby with his arms folded across his chest. Annie wasn’t sure where her father was.
“I understand that Charlotte will be moving here, but why is Jacob planning to stay in Texas? He won’t know anyone there,” Annie asked for the third time. “And I don’t understand why Charlotte is helping him by letting him stay in her apartment until the end of the month.” She uncovered her face, her hands flailing in the air. Annie didn’t really know Charlotte. She’d only been around the woman a few times. But she knew Charlotte’s background. She’d lied to Jacob’s family, pretending to be Amish so that she could find out why her brother had committed suicide. Jacob’s family had found out about Charlotte and chosen to forgive her. The Englisch woman had even let Jacob’s mother, Lena, stay with her, and had taken her for cancer treatments in Houston. But Annie didn’t trust Charlotte or anyone who was helping to keep Jacob away from her.
Lena patted Annie’s leg, then slowly lifted herself off the couch. “Charlotte said she was going to continue to try to change his mind up until the time she leaves. But if he refuses to leave Texas, hon, Charlotte can’t drag him home by his hair. He’ll at least have a safe place to stay until the end of the month.”
Hannah stood up also, and when Annie’s mother finally stopped pacing, the three women stood looking down at Annie while Daniel leaned against the far wall, arms still folded across his chest.
“I’m sure Jacob will come to his senses and come home soon,” Lena said in a shaky voice.
Annie wasn’t sure of anything anymore. A few days ago, she was planning to marry Jacob, Lena was her future mother-in-law, and Hannah would have been her sister-in-law. Now her husband-to-be was in Houston, having taken leave of his senses. Or maybe he just doesn’t love me enough. She eased herself up from the couch and draped an arm across her stomach, sniffling.
Lena and Hannah both hugged her good-bye, then Annie’s mother walked with them to their buggy. Annie watched them from the window. Lena started to cry, and Hannah wrapped an arm around her. She glanced over her shoulder at Daniel, who hadn’t moved, a frown sprawling across his face. Daniel was usually outspoken, but he hadn’t said a word since he found out Jacob had left.
She stared at her brother until he finally said, “What?”
Annie groaned. “You haven’t said anything.”
Daniel lowered his arms and shrugged. “What do you want me to say?” He stopped glaring at her, but his gray eyes darkened.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Annie expected sympathy from her older brother, but maybe he was so angry with Jacob that he couldn’t be compassionate right now. “He’s the one that left, but you’re looking at me like it’s my fault.” Maybe it is. She searched her mind, but she couldn’t recall a time when she and Jacob had ever had more than a mild disagreement. Nothing to justify his leaving like this.
Daniel shrugged again. “I didn’t say it was your fault.” Annie huffed as she slammed her hands to her hips. “I didn’t do anything to run him off, if that’s what you’re wondering. He just left! Left me. Left . . .” She stopped and glanced out the window again. Her mother, Lena, and Hannah were all still talking. Maybe they were wondering the same thing—what Annie had done to run off Jacob.
“Who else did he leave, Annie?” Daniel kept his eyes locked on hers as he moved closer. Her only brother was a tall man with broad shoulders. He was eight years older than her, and he’d been protecting her for her entire life. But now, as his shadow cast darkness the length of her, he showed an emotion she couldn’t quite identify. Daniel’s lip twitched, the way it did when he was really upset.
“What—what do you mean?” Annie shook off the threatening tears.
Daniel stepped closer to her. “You said that Jacob left us, that he left you, that he left . . .” He waved an arm in the air. “Who else?”
Annie didn’t think she had any tears left, but as she crossed an arm over her belly, a tear slipped down her cheek. She lowered her head, then covered her face and sobbed. Daniel finally pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. “Mei maedel,” he whispered. Annie was glad to hear sympathy in his voice, but any comfort she felt was short-lived and replaced with fear. She eased away but looked him in the eye.
“Are you going to tell?” Her voice squeaked, and she fought a growing panic.
Daniel stared at her stomach but didn’t say anything.
“How long have you known?” Shame wrapped around her like a thick wet blanket, and she wished the floor would just swallow her up.
“I remember when Mamm was pregnant with you. She threw up a lot in the mornings.” Daniel rubbed his forehead before he looked back at her. “And if you’re going to take a pregnancy test like the Englisch folks, you shouldn’t leave the empty box in plain view in the bathroom trash can.”
Annie held her breath. Daniel had been through a rough patch of his own a few years ago, when he and Edna Glick had broken up, but she couldn’t recall seeing him this upset since then. “Are you going to tell Mamm and Daed? I’ll be shunned.”
“You’re only seventeen years old, and you and Jacob should have known better.” Daniel’s face reddened as he pointed at her.
Sobs racked her insides, and a tear trickled down her cheek before she could stop it. Annie recalled the liberties she and Jacob had taken, things they’d done that weren’t right in the eyes of God. They’d only done it once, and afterward they’d agreed it wouldn’t happen again until after they were married. She glanced out the window again and wished she could be in two places at once.
“And nee, Mamm and Daed don’t know,” Daniel said. “I’ve been waiting for you to tell them—or for Jacob to tell them. But he ran out on you, leaving you to handle this on your own. Jacob wasn’t raised like that. And I know he’s only a few months older than you, but if he’s old enough to get my baby sister pregnant, he’s old enough to be a man about it.”
Annie’s knees were weak, her stomach roiling, and her heart was beating way too fast. She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out.
“Jacob’s a coward,” Daniel said, stomping his foot on the wood floor hard enough to rattle the dishes in the china cabinet. He looked over her shoulder and sighed. “Mamm’s coming back in. You’re going to have to tell her soon.”
“Not now,” she managed to say. “Please, Daniel. Not today. I’ll tell them soon. When Jacob comes back, we can tell our parents together, even if it does mean we’ll be shunned.”
“If Jacob comes back. You don’t know if he will. What kind of man leaves the woman he loves, especially when she’s carrying his child?”
Annie heard footsteps on the porch, and in a whisper she said, “Jacob doesn’t know. He doesn’t know about the baby.”
Daniel froze, but he forced h
is shoulders to relax when his mother walked back into the living room. Mamm’s eyes were red and swollen like Hannah’s and Lena’s had been, and the way Annie’s were too.
“Come, come,” Mamm said, and she put an arm around Annie, guiding her toward the kitchen. “Hot tea and a slice of banana nut bread will do us both some good.”
Annie put a hand over her mouth, her shoulders slumped. Daniel wondered if she was going to vomit, but they disappeared into the kitchen. He walked out onto the front porch and took a deep breath. It had been a long day filled with crying women. As dusk began to settle over the Byler household, Daniel believed the darkness would lift in the morning, making way for a new day. But he feared what the future held, especially for Annie.
In the distance, he could see his father coming in from the far barn. Any hint of snow was gone, melted by the afternoon sun, but the air was damp and cool for March. He shivered as he waited for his father. Daniel had assumed he would wed before Annie, and it was a little embarrassing that he hadn’t found someone yet to share his life with. He’d stopped trying very hard after his breakup with Edna.
But he wanted Annie to be happy, and it wasn’t her fault that Daniel remained unmarried at twenty-five. He’d be the oldest bachelor in their district once Isaac married Hannah in the fall. Daniel’s best chance at love had fallen apart, but Edna was married to John Dienner now, and there was no point looking back.
He wanted to tell his father about Annie, hoping his parents would make wise decisions for his sister, but ultimately the choices wouldn’t be Annie’s. There was a chance Annie would be shunned. Even if their parents didn’t push the issue, the bishop and deacons might, in an effort to make Annie see the error of her ways. But no matter the circumstances, a child would be born, and that was a gift from God. Daniel wondered if he would ever receive that blessing.
“Any more news about Jacob?” Lucas Byler strode across the yard, his broad shoulders pulled back. Pride was looked down upon, but his father carried himself like a proud man, even though he was generally quiet, especially if trouble was brewing. It was his mother who handled family situations, and while that was unusual in their community, it seemed to work for his parents.