Love Bears All Things
Page 23
Daniel was standing in the front yard of Ethan’s house when Charlotte pulled in. When she hadn’t felt strong enough to share details with Daniel, Hannah had briefed him on everything as it happened. He held out his arms to her, and Charlotte fell into his embrace.
“Thank you for coming.” She raised her chin and smiled. Today was a day for new beginnings, and she refused to let sadness consume her anymore. God the Father was walking beside her, and to let fear and worry overtake her would be saying she didn’t have faith in His plan for her.
Daniel walked to the porch steps to sit down and motioned for her to do the same. Charlotte looked out over the fields filled with spring blooms, as the sun shone brightly on a day that represented a new phase in Charlotte’s life. Daniel was quiet.
“You know, I figured Janell would have walked out of rehab by now, but I call every day, and she’s still there.”
“But you haven’t seen her again?”
Charlotte was quiet for a few moments. “No. I haven’t. Glenda, the lady that works there, said Janell asks about me every day, but . . .” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve spent a large part of my life hating my mother, so it’s hard to just turn that off. I’ve forgiven her and my father, but Janell is hard to be around.”
Daniel took off his hat and set it on his lap. Then he looked at her and smiled. “I saw something more than hate when you found your mother. It might not be an emotion you connect to her, but there was love in your heart too.”
Since Janell had shown up, memories were flooding Charlotte’s mind, events that she’d pushed back for years. She recalled the first time Child Protective Services had showed up at their house, and she’d had the tiniest recollection of a baby. “How could I love her? She was awful to me and my brother. And she apparently gave away a baby sister I didn’t know I had.” The social worker that was assigned to Charlotte’s mother at the facility had contacted Charlotte. The woman—Patricia—suggested Charlotte might like to see a counselor, an offer Charlotte had taken her up on. Her first appointment was next week.
“We don’t choose how we feel. It just is what it is.”
“So here we are, at my new home.” Charlotte took in her surroundings, the empty flower beds that she planned to fill with color, and . . . She gasped when her eyes landed where Ethan’s tree used to be. There wasn’t so much as a stump left. She stood up and brought both her hands to her chest. “The tree. It’s gone.”
“You said you hated that tree.” Daniel stood up and put a hand on her shoulder. “And part of it was, um . . . diseased. So it never would have been whole again or healthy. It would have only gotten worse. I had someone chop it down.”
Charlotte wrapped her hands around his neck. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Daniel motioned for her to follow him inside as he took a key from his pocket, then unlocked the door. He pushed open the door so she could go in first. “It’s warm in here without electricity and the air-conditioning you’re used to, but I installed several battery-operated fans throughout the house and made sure all the windows had good screens.”
Charlotte smiled as she crossed the living room, then went to the bedroom, then the kitchen. She met up with him back in the living room. Every single room in the house had been painted.
“You said beadboard white, pastels on the upper half of the walls, right? I didn’t know for sure what colors you might like, but we all painted in colors we wished we had in our houses.” He chuckled. “Isaac painted the kitchen a light yellow. Hannah and Lena came by after delivering food to some shut-ins, and they painted the living room this pale blue.” Daniel’s face turned a light shade of red. “I painted your bedroom a soft, light green. If you dislike these colors, I’ll help you redo them.”
Charlotte went from room to room again. She wondered if there would ever come a day when she didn’t feel like crying for one reason or another. “This overwhelms me. I love every color. I—” She almost said it. But there was still one thing hanging between them. “Daniel . . . I have something that I’ve been hiding from you. I don’t want it between us for one more second.” She took a breath and lowered her head. “I was evicted from my apartment. That’s why I moved here.”
He sighed, the expression on his face full of love. “Ya, I know. Jacob found your eviction notice before he left your apartment, and he told Annie.” He smiled. “I don’t care why you came here. I’m just glad you’re here.”
Charlotte looked around the house again. “I cannot believe you, Isaac, Lena, and Hannah got this house painted so quickly. I just can’t believe it . . .”
“Ach, well . . . we had help. We were just the chiefs directing the Indians. The same Indians that will be helping us today.” Daniel motioned for her to follow him outside, then he pointed to the road, at the long line of buggies turning onto the road that led to Charlotte’s house. “They are bringing all of your things. When you were sleeping day before yesterday, Isaac and others loaded everything from the basement into buggies we usually use to cart our benches for worship service.”
She put a hand over her mouth and eased herself down onto the porch step again. “Do I even know all of these people?”
Daniel sat down beside her, both of them watching the dozens of buggies heading their way. “I don’t know. Hannah is probably the head chief.” He laughed. “She has a group coming to clean, another one bringing food, and Isaac has some men coming to help repair the fence in the backyard, even though you’d originally told him not to worry about it. And we will have plenty of folks to unload and get your furniture arranged.”
They were quiet as they waited for the others. But Charlotte recalled something she’d asked God for awhile back. “I prayed that whoever ended up in this house would have peace and happiness.” She stood up and turned to Daniel. “How could I have known I was praying for myself?”
“God is gut,” Daniel said softly.
Charlotte reached for Daniel’s hand, not having the words to communicate what was in her heart. He squeezed her hand three times, and she smiled.
“Do you know what that means, when you squeeze someone’s hand three times?” Charlotte asked him.
“Ya, I do. Do you?”
She squeezed his hand back the same amount of times. “I sure do.”
They both smiled and slowly walked across the yard, hand in hand, ready to greet the people who’d come to help Charlotte start her new life.
Epilogue
Dear Ethan,
I’m sorry I haven’t written lately. Three months ago, I decided to permanently move to Lancaster County. I’m living in your little blue house, so I enjoy being close to my family—Hannah, Lena, and Amos. I am spending a lot of time with Daniel Byler, but we’ve agreed to take things slow since we’ve both been hurt in the past. And I’m not Amish, so that is reason enough not to rush anything. I’m seeing a therapist again, working through some of my own issues. I want to feel whole again before I commit to sharing my life with anyone.
I didn’t have electricity put in your house, so in many ways, I live like my Amish friends. Although I haven’t shed my worldly ways entirely, I’ve given up makeup and don’t have a way to blow-dry my hair, so I guess that’s a start. I don’t really miss television, but I do miss air-conditioning during these hot summer months. And it’s hard to imagine not having a vehicle, so that’s a luxury I hang on to. Although there are those who might not consider Big Red luxurious, I’ve grown rather attached to my gift from Amos. Who knows what the future holds—only God. For now, I try to keep things simple.
Ethan, Janell showed up here in Lancaster County. I couldn’t believe it. Somehow, the police tracked her down and notified her about your death. From there, she did some digging around until she found out where you’d lived—and died. I am doing the best I can to help her get well. Our mother had more problems than either of us were aware of as children. She is in a psychiatric hospital that also deals with drug addiction. She still has a long way to go,
but she is making progress. I visit her once a week. That’s about all I can handle right now. With each day, Janell seems to be shedding some of the anger, but she also cries a lot. Some weeks she seems happy to see me, and other times she’s as mean as I remember her.
The haunting memories hover around me, and sometimes I feel like a fish caught in a net of despair, but it passes, and as quickly as I’m trapped—I find my way free again. Hopefully, someday I’ll be free from the nightmares altogether.
Janell told me that our father is dead. I’m working through my feelings about that with my therapist, but it’s slow going. I rely just as much on prayer as I do on my therapist when it comes to forgiving our parents. I’ve forgiven them, but I am also struggling to shed my anger toward them.
Ethan, we have a sister. Maybe you have a vague recollection of her since you are older than me. Maybe you can see her from your heavenly home. Is she safe? Is she well? Her name is Dianda Rochelle Dolinsky . . . Dianda. I will look for her when I feel stronger. And I feel stronger every day, determined to be the master of my own destiny, through God’s guidance.
I am working for a local newspaper doing some proofing and editing work. I finally came to the conclusion that I just don’t have the self-discipline to work for myself. I’m distracted too easily, and I also just wasn’t getting as much work sent my way. The job at the newspaper is steady income, and I’m slowly getting back on my feet financially.
Hannah and Isaac will be married soon, but things have changed for Jacob and Annie. I can tell that Jacob’s choices are causing a lot of pain for his parents and sister, but Lena, Amos, and Hannah continue to hold out hope that Jacob will leave the Englisch world and come back to them. Annie is taking his absence the hardest, and she hears less and less from Jacob with each passing week. We all pray that he stays safe and well.
It’s amazing how much comfort and support family can bring. I’ll never have that with Janell, but I continue to try to make room for our mother in my heart. I can’t bring myself to call her Mom, and she doesn’t say anything when I call her Janell.
I’ll keep writing to you, as my previous therapist suggested awhile back. Even though you aren’t physically in this world, I feel your presence here in the peacefulness of a place I now call home.
Rest in peace, my beloved brother.
All my love,
Char
Discussion Questions
1. In the beginning of the story, we learn that Charlotte repeatedly checked Ryan’s text messages based on her suspicions that he was cheating on her. Ultimately, she finds out that Ryan was cheating on her. Was it still wrong for her to check his text messages, or did you think her actions were justified?
2. Edna isn’t portrayed as a very nice character in the story. But are you able to dig deeper and ponder what prompts her to seek love in all the wrong places, so to speak? Was Daniel correct when he tells Charlotte that Edna seems to be searching for more love than is humanly possible?
3. Annie and Jacob are both a bit flighty and unsure about what they want. Were you happy that Annie wasn’t pregnant, or were you disappointed? Do you think that the couple’s fate would have been sealed if Annie had really been pregnant? What would they have both ultimately chosen if that had been the case?
4. Like the rest of us, Charlotte isn’t perfect. She is striving to get her life in order, to be the best person she can be, and to take care of her mother despite her upbringing. What are some other examples of Charlotte’s spiritual growth?
5. Jacob ultimately chooses not to go back to Lancaster County, and it’s fairly obvious that he is heading down a path that might not be best suited for him. What do you think will happen? If you could create an alternate ending for Jacob’s thread in the story, what would it be? Or would it be the same, knowing that God leads us down wrong paths for a reason sometimes because it’s the only route to the right path?
6. Daniel is first attracted to Charlotte because she’s pretty. He recognized that outer beauty is never enough. What characteristic does Daniel notice about Charlotte early on that makes her attractive to him, not just on the outside?
Acknowledgments
I wait until my final reading on a project before I choose who the book will be dedicated to. It seems like God always lays the perfect person on my heart during that part of the process. In Love Bears All Things, Amos King is a quiet and well-respected man, and Charlotte longs for his fatherly love. Even her finicky dog—Buddy—takes a liking to Amos. Terry Newcomer is like a father on earth to me since my own father is singing with the angels. He’s also my dear friend. There are many parallels with Terry and Amos. It’s an honor to dedicate this book to Terry Newcomer, as fine a man as I’ve ever known.
I’ve been blessed abundantly with a fabulous husband, great friends, and an awesome family. Much thanks and love goes out to all of you.
To my wonderful assistant/marketing coordinator—Janet Murphy—thank you for being my voice of reason and for keeping me organized and sane, which I know is not always an easy task. You are appreciated and loved more than words can say.
Natasha Kern, I’ll never run out of good things to say about you. My agent. My friend. You always go above and beyond in every aspect of managing my career, but what touches my heart so much is the way you are always available and nurturing when it’s my personal life that needs managing. Love you tons.
To my editor Becky Philpott and all the folks at HarperCollins Christian Fiction, thank you for always believing in me and for the many opportunities you’ve provided me with over the years. I’m blessed to have such a dedicated team, and I’m thankful for each and every one of you.
Natalie Hanemann, I’m so thankful to have you on my team, but even more grateful for the friendship we share. You’ve been on this ride with me from the beginning, and I’m blessed to have you in my life, both professionally and personally. Love you, sweet friend.
And Dear God . . . Thank you again for providing me with another story that I hope entertains readers and glorifies You. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
About the Author
Beth Wiseman is the award-winning and bestselling author of the Daughters of the Promise, Land of Canaan, and Amish Secrets series. While she is best known for her Amish novels, Beth has also written contemporary novels including Need You Now, The House that Love Built, and The Promise.
You can read the first chapter of all of Beth’s books at www.bethwiseman.com.
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Twitter: @bethwiseman