Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5)

by Belden, P. J.

  That hit me in the chest, hard. “We think highly of him,” I choked out.

  “We’ll let you get some time with him. We come here every day about this time for a couple hours. Is it okay that we continue to come?” Vicky asked.

  “Of course. You guys are important to him. He’d want you here.” Rhianna said.

  After saying our goodbyes, we headed out of the hospital. It was the only time that Vicky would leave the house. But I respected her wishes for as long as I could. Today I’m taking her to lunch at the park with my family.

  When she saw that we weren’t heading back to the cabin, she started to protest, but I stopped that right away. There was one thing that she couldn’t resist and it was Mom’s Banana Cream Pie. She’s actually stopped craving ice cream so much, but craves her pies. Mom obliges too. More often than I’d like her to.

  When we pulled into the park, I help Vicky out of the van and walked with her to the tables. She stayed quiet for a while until Colbie came up wanting some attention from Aunt Vicky. Once they started playing around, Vicky seemed to relax.

  “How’s Casey doing?” Dad asked.

  “The same,” I said cutting myself from saying my worries outloud.

  “What is it, son?”

  I sighed and lowered my voice. “I’m worried that if there isn’t some kind of improvement soon, that we might lose him. That’d kill Vicky.”

  “It’d hurt a lot of us. He’s a good man. His help at the firm was invaluable. We never would have got all that stuff done so quickly without him. The way he looked after my boy, his wife and my soon to be grandbabies… I’m in that man’s debt and will do whatever I have to to help him out. Whatever’s needed son, you just let me know.”

  “Thanks Dad. It really means a lot to both Vicky and I.”

  Mom hugged me and then took her place by Dad’s side. “We talking about Casey?”

  “Yeah,” I said sadly.

  “No change I take it,” Mom said equally sadly.

  “I’m scared Mom, really scared. For him, for his family, for Vicky, for myself.”

  “We’re scared too baby. I went by a couple days back and visited him.”

  “You did,” I asked shocked.

  “Of course, my darling. He’s like a son to us. Our family grows and feels the loss just as if it were any one of you. We’ll mourn him, if he doesn’t make it, as we did Eli.”

  “Yes we will,” I agreed, looking back out at Vicky.

  She had a smile on her face as she talked to Colleen. My vibrant wife was not going to lose another person close to her. I won’t let it happen.

  The rest of the picnic went by swimmingly and I felt I was finally getting my Vicky back. When we got back home and she pushed me onto the bed and ravaged me, I knew I had her back. She’ll always be sad until Casey gets better… if he gets better, but I think she’s realizing how fast time flies. Our kids aren’t far off from being here. Life is just too short to keep ourselves locked in a prison. So as I made love to her tonight, I made a promise to myself and to Vicky. No matter what happened during the day, they’d always know how much I love them and that my world is them in my arms.

  Epilogue

  Nathan

  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get my mind off Australia. Moreover the woman I met there. She was beautiful beyond words and intelligent, funny and seemed to love adventure. It bothered me that she just let me walk away. It was a moment that I needed her to leap. I needed her to take that risk, but she didn’t do it.

  How is it that I can’t seem to fall for a woman that wants to fall with me? No matter how damn hard I try. Shaking my head, I walked into my house. Sitting at the picnic today really cemented into my head what I was missing.

  Work. I needed to work.

  Love was how I almost lost my job and everything I’ve built for myself. Love was what brought me to my knees, making a fool of myself and drinking like there was no tomorrow. Love was what sent me across the ocean and found me over there in the form of a black haired, blue eyed bombshell.

  Love was for idiots. I’m tired of being an idiot. Watching all the guys around me finding their spouses was what had me thinking that if they were falling maybe I could too. Well, I fell twice and look where it got me… alone and only my hand to bring me pleasure.

  Rosy and her five sisters were great and all, but I don’t look at my hand, saying ‘Damn you’re sexy let me get a piece of you.’ No, instead I picture the black haired blue eyed beauty that once again has me weak. I can’t be weak anymore.

  When Casey was shot and I watched Jake and Vicky fall apart, I didn’t want that. My job held that risk. But I love my job. So there is what I’ll marry. I’ll marry my job and forget about everything else. Work myself to the bone until I can just come home and crash without thinking about the oceans and the treasures you can find when you aren’t exactly looking. After tonight…

  Tonight, I’m going to grab my cock one more time and remember Kristy. Remember our moments, her mouth around my cock, how she tasted, and the sounds she made. Tonight I’ll remember everything that I’ll need to forget tomorrow. Tonight, I’ll remember her as I throw myself over the edge calling out her name to my empty house. Tonight, I’ll pretend she’s falling asleep next to me. Tonight, I’ll dream of my vacation to Australia and everything I lost and gained there.

  If you enjoyed reading Struggling Free (#5 Hidden Secrets), you might enjoy some other titles by this author…

  Available Now

  Hidden Secrets series

  (Each book can be read as stand alones, but because the series follows a ‘family’ it’s best to read in order to have the full understanding of each character)

  Protective Love (#1)

  Fantasy Attraction (#2)

  Family Ties (#3)

  Tough Love (#4)

  Stranded series

  Alaskan Lifeline

  Falling in Deep

  Lost Trilogy

  (Must be read in order)

  Lost in Lies (#1)

  Lost in Fantasy (#2)

  Lost in Love (#3)

  Stand Alone

  Unexpectedly Lost

  Feeling the Moment

  Coming Soon

  Forbidden Paths (#1 Hawthorne’s Angels)—Oct. 2014

  There are times in our life when we cross paths that aren’t meant to be crossed. Well, consider them crossed.

  Faith Harper was a goodie two shoes. All her life, she’s always done exactly as she’s told, even pushing away her one true love so many years ago. That was until she found out that the man she was set up to marry had a whole secret life behind her back. Angry and hell bent on punishing her family, Faith finds herself on a path she can’t get off of.

  Logan James has been the dependable responsible man that everyone needed him to be. After a tragedy strikes his family when he was only fifteen years old, he was forced to become an adult. Several years later, he still wrestles with the one that got away. Exhausted and needing something to feel alive, Logan finds himself on a path that he never thought he’d find again.

  The problem was Faith and Logan should have never crossed paths. They were not to meet. Yet here they are…again. It can’t be fate, but if it isn’t that… what is it? Sometimes the best paths to walk down are the Forbidden Paths.

  Acknowledgements

  This journey has been such an amazing experience for me. I have learned so much, but nothing has been more important than finding belief in myself. Belief that if I work hard enough anything is possible. This lesson was not an easy one for me to learn, but the people that I have come across along the way have been such amazing support that it became easier. I want to take this time to thank a few of them. They deserve to be acknowledged.

  First, I want to start off with my girls Kayla, Kristy, Leanne, Renee, and Mechelle. The endless support and help with making my books polished has been amazing, but it is your friendship and our endless conversations, full of laughter, that have meant the m
ost to me. If I could say one thing to each one of you that you remember it would be this:

  We all fight our own demons and struggle down our own paths, but with amazing people to light the way makes even the darkest days seem bright.

  Thank you so much ladies, truly from the bottom of my heart, you guys are aces in my book!

  To Vicky, oh girl what can I say to you that I have already said a million and one times? You have been walking right alongside me from the very beginning. Our endless chats about books and book boyfriends to your encouraging words with each of my books… I can tell you right now that Jake will not be enough thanks for everything you’ve done for me, but I think he’ll keep you occupied enough. HA!! I love you girlie!

  To Kylie and Ashley, oh Lord what dare you say to two crazy chicks? How about, I lubbers you both so much! Yeah, I think that’s a safe topic. Haha. You girls are like the best friends that a girl could ask for! You’ll be forever in my heart and I will always be there for you!

  To Allison, Man girl what can I say… You are one of the best freaking people I have ever met. I’m so grateful to call you a friend. Our conversations cover such random topics, but we bonded over books and you entered my heart because of the amazing person you are. Don’t change. I’m always here no matter what. <3 Hugs! <3

  To Shannon, we’ve been walking the same path, but at different times, always seeming to miss each other. Behind you, you leave a trail, a brightness, from your beautiful heart and loving personality. From the moment I met you until now, you have made an imprint on my life and on my heart that will forever remain. I don’t know what I can say to show you how much you mean, but from every text or message…the light you give grows brighter. I love you girl!

  To Lia and Faith, you two have been more than amazing support to me throughout my journey and I can’t even begin to tell you guys thank you enough. Even when I can’t, you do and that touches my heart so profoundly. You are AMAZING and I am so blessed to call you friends. I love you both!

  To Kaylie, My dear sweet, loveable Kaylie. You are just… simply… I’m at a loss for words. You’re friendship has been a guiding light as I weaved my way through my path and there is no way I can thank you for that. The strength you carry about you day in and day out is astounding and even more inspiring. Girl, you are one cool chick! I love ya! Here’s to more time with laughs and inspiration.

  To Isa, You are a driving force in getting my name out there. Without your constant support and ability to make me laugh even when it’s the last thing I want to do, I’m not sure I’d be this far. You are simply amazing and soon you’ll have your own book with your own book boyfriend hehehe. <3 Hugs! <3

  To Jennifer, Shawna, Kimberly, Kia, Amber, Kim B., Michelle, Kerry, Jamie, Tabatha (crap I know I’m forgetting people), you girls are simply amazing. Each of you sprout wings and share your beautiful personalities with the world on a daily basis. Don’t let anything dim your lights. You are ALL in my heart and I’ll always be here when you need me and even when you don’t. <3 you all bunches!

  To the Beta Ladies, you girls are one hell of an amazing group of women. Each of you so unique and talented, I’m winded by your support and guidance. I wouldn’t be here without each of you. So from my heart to all of you, Thank you so much!

  To all the members of P. J. Belden’s Beautiful Bellas Street Team, all you ladies are amazing and I’m so blessed to have you along for the journey. There are no amount of words that will express my gratefulness for what you do. <3 you all!!

  To my Readers, what can I say? Without you guys, I wouldn’t be writing this out to begin with. I’d still have all these books sitting in a notebook on my shelf never to see the light of day. Because of all of you, I continue to type them out and thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to do something that I love. Each of you has touched my heart in a way I can’t describe. Thank you, thank you, thank you! <3 Hugs! <3

  I am sure there are people that I’m missing and I’m so terribly sorry if I did. Please know that you are still important to me and always will be (even if I spaced and didn’t get you on the list). Thank you for reading another one of my books…Here’s to the next one y’all!!! *waves*

  About Author

  Writing has always been an outlet for me. Growing up, I’d write poems based on my moods or events happening around me. Eventually they grew from there. It was a great way for me to clear my head at night. A way to kind of shut down the day, so to speak. Now here I am so many years later, finally taking the leap into the author world.

  My husband has been my rock this whole journey. We’ve been married for eleven years and have three amazingly beautiful children (10, 8, 5). They are the reason I push myself as hard as I do. They are my reason to strive each day to be better, to give them better. We are currently living in a small town in Indiana, but we have lived in Alaska, Illinois, Georgia and Tennessee. Out of all the places we’ve lived, Alaska has been my favorite and most inspirational too.

  When I’m not writing, I’m chasing my three kids, a four year old Siberian Husky, or even sometimes my husband *winks*. We love having family craft day. If it is a down day, you can find me curled up with a good book or occasionally watching some television.

  Our lives are like books. We’ve just got to write the story. So let’s write the best one to hit the pages.

  For information about P.J. Belden, visit:

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