Phantom Eyes

by Scott Tracey

  I took a step back, just in case. I didn’t know what I’d said exactly, but whatever it was, I was the only one who didn’t see the deeper meaning. I’d never seen Drew look so uncomfortable.

  “If you ever threaten to kill yourself again,” Jason said, his voice so low it crept down along the marble floors, “I will lock you up where you can’t do anything. It will be a beautiful cage, but make no mistake that it will be a cage, and I will leave you there for the rest of your life and not lose a minute of sleep over it. Do you understand?”

  “Jason—”

  “Do you understand?!” he roared, an explosion of emotion that had both Trey and Drew rearing back in alarm. I was the only one who didn’t move, but only because my feet were rooted to the ground.

  No one spoke. No one even breathed. I think we were all trying to come to terms with the fact that Jason Thorpe, the cold, clinically detached steel facade of a man, looked dangerously close to losing the last bits of his control.

  He took a deep breath, still staring down at the floor. “Goodbye, Gentry.”

  “Jason, seriously. Let me help. Let me do something.”

  “Goodbye, Gentry,” Jason repeated firmly.

  Trey took one last look at me, eyes full of emotions I didn’t want to see. I turned away, mirroring Jason and staring down at my shoes. Scuffed gray tennis shoes that were falling apart at the sides. I had a closet full of shoes upstairs, but I still wore the same ones I’d brought with me to Belle Dam.

  Trey walked out of the library. Jason waved his hand sharply, and the library doors slammed shut behind him.

  “Keep up with what you’ve been doing,” Jason continued, looking over at Drew. “I haven’t seen this much color in his cheeks since before the hospital.”

  “Excuse me?” The words carried a not-so-subtle undercurrent of Hey, fuck off and die in a fire. The change in Drew was instantaneous. The moment Jason addressed him, his body went taut and his expression flattened out into a scowl. He shifted his stance, the same one he’d been in when he first taught me how to throw a punch.

  “You’re teaching him to defend himself, right? It couldn’t hurt, especially now.” Jason’s eyes flicked to me. “He’s been very … spirited lately. I’m hoping the exercise will channel his energy into more constructive endeavors.”

  Constructive endeavors? I still hadn’t told Jason about the other night, or about anything really. So what exactly did he think I was getting up to that was so destructive? Or did he already know, somehow?

  Drew moved forward until the two of them were nose to nose. He had several inches on Jason and glared down daggers at him. “Just so we’re clear,” Drew said, in a voice every bit as dangerous as Jason’s could be, “I don’t work for you. I don’t like you. I’m here because of Braden.”

  “There’s no need—”

  “You killed my father,” Drew said, seething. He was like a pot about to boil over, his body humming with tension and his eyes glowing the electric, silvery sheen that only appeared when he used his powers. “So save your petty words and your fake charm, and remember that none of it matters at the end of the day. Because you’re a murderer. If there’s any justice in the world, I’ll be there when you have to pay for what you’ve done.”

  “Drew!” I moved forward and grabbed his arm. It was like trying to move a statue. “Come on.”

  Sometime before I was born, Jason had killed Drew’s father and basically ran his mother out of town. The Armstrongs had been a long-established family in Belle Dam, second only to the Thorpes and Lansings. I didn’t know the whole story about what had happened with Drew’s father, but I knew it had been bad.

  It was easy to forget that Jason had done things in the past—horrible things. I knew he wasn’t the hero of the story. His hands were just as bloody as Catherine’s. That was how life worked in Belle Dam. Evil begot evil, stains begot stains.

  Drew was right. Jason killed his father. And I was an idiot for never realizing it before. All the times I’d asked him to meet me here at the house because it was more comfortable for me. Drew always wanted to meet in the woods, or he caught up to me somewhere in the city.

  How does he stand to be around me? Maybe it was different when no one knew who Jason was to me, but as the secret got out, his actions never changed. He never acted differently around me. How could he do that? How was it so easy for him, when I couldn’t be in the same room with Trey without wanting to scream and explode?

  Drew threw off my arm and stalked to the library doors without another word. I flinched when the door slammed behind him and held my breath in the aftermath.

  I counted to thirty before I trusted myself to speak. So many different feelings were welling up in my stomach that I wanted to scream and vomit at the same time. “Jason—”

  “He’s right,” Jason said, so quiet I almost didn’t hear him. He stood by the door that Drew had stormed out of only a couple of minutes before. “I’m not … I don’t expect you to understand the choices I’ve made in my life, Braden. What happened with Drew’s father was … a mistake.” He shook his head, eyes closed for a moment, like he could shake the memories free like they were nothing more than cobwebs. “I’ve made many mistakes,” he added, voice growing bitter.

  “We don’t have to do this right now,” I said, unsure where this was even going. Jason didn’t confide in me. That wasn’t how our relationship worked.

  “You say that like we have all the time in the world,” he said, flashing a humorless smile at me. “It’s alright. I know what you think of me.”

  “You’re acting like you’re going to die or something,” I said, my voice shaking.

  “No,” Jason said, that sad smile reappearing. “I’m acting like I have to send my son away again.”

  It was true that Jason had been off since he’d come back home, but now he was really starting to scare me. What was he going on about? Why was he sending me away?

  “You should … sit,” Jason said, gesturing to one of the couches. Warily, I crossed the room and started to lower myself down. He sat next to me, a gulf of space between us, positioning himself awkwardly. His body was shifted towards me, but his face was angled away.

  “When you fought with Lucien,” Jason said slowly, deliberating every word carefully, “before you woke up in the hospital, you almost died. I thought for sure that you would, and it would be my fault. I’d lose my son again, just a few days after I got him back.” He looked down at his hands, perched in his lap like he didn’t know what to do with them. I’d never noticed them before, the long, tapered fingers that were so like my own.

  “I don’t … I’m not … ” Jason rolled his head, an audible pop as his neck cracked. “You thought I was more interested in replacing Lucien than I was in your recovery,” he continued. “I let you think that. I thought it would be easier. But I wasn’t looking for another seer, or a prophet, or anything like that.”

  “No,” I found myself arguing. “That’s not true. You went searching for a curandero. Everyone knew.”

  “Ahh, that,” Jason said, sighing. “That was a fool’s errand, but I suspect you knew that already. Curanderos are healers first and foremost.”

  “You were hoping for a cure. For me.” My mouth was so dry I could have spit sand. “So where were you the rest of the time? If that was the exception, then what were you doing? What were you searching for?”

  “Family,” Jason said simply.

  “You lost your family?”

  “Not mine,” he replied quietly. “Yours. Jonathan knew where they were, of course. Of course he did.” He shook his head, a flash of a smile at some hidden memory. “He kept in touch with them, even after all these years.”

  “What do you mean, my family?” I whispered, harsh and tremulous.

  “We’ve never talked about your mother,” Jason said. “What do you know?”

  “I know she wasn’t from around here. Lucien found her for you.” The fact that my parents had been some sort of breed
ing stock for a demon’s designs was another thing I tried not to think too much about.

  “Lucien matched us, and I allowed it, but I did love her,” he clarified. For one moment, and one moment only, he looked at me and there was a fierceness in his expression. “I should tell you that Jonathan did, as well. It was hard not to.”

  “What was her name?”

  “Rose. Rosemarie. She never let anyone outside of the family call her Rose.” Jason chuckled at that, looking away again. “Her family was like ours, although they used their gifts so differently. Not for war, like ours. Your mother didn’t have much in the way of power, but she had fire in so many other ways. Even on your worst day, she had a way of making you smile.” He seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment, fingers reaching absently towards his lips. A muscle in his cheek flexed, and he very nearly smiled before it fell away like the memory that had sparked it. “She had siblings, and they are not … inconsequential. You have an aunt and an uncle.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  “Because they can protect you, Braden.” Jason shook his head, and then added, “If you want. You’ll never have to spend another day worrying about Catherine, or Lucien, or … anything else that weighs on you.” He didn’t say John’s name, but he might as well have. Or maybe he was talking about Trey.

  “So you’re going to send me away,” I said. My legs were screaming in pain, and I looked down to see my fingernails clawing into my own skin. “Just throw me away because I’m useless now.” I didn’t bring up that I’d been thinking of leaving all on my own because this was different. Jason was trying to get rid of me.

  “I’m going to save your life,” Jason responded gently. “Or at least I would like to. If you’ll let me.”

  I looked up in shock, meeting his eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re old enough to make your own decision. You’re right in that much, at least. But I … would like you to meet them, at least. I mean it when I say that they can protect you. They stay under the radar, in more ways than one. Unless I’m mistaken, they’re the ones who taught my brother how to disappear.”

  “But you knew where to find him,” I pointed out. Jason had once showed me a spell that allowed him to spy on John and me back at our home in Montana. To have to watch someone else raise your kid through what was basically a television. Getting no input at all. No wonder Jason was so cold.

  “I didn’t say he tried to disappear from me,” Jason said. “If he hadn’t been my brother, things might have been different. If I had known … ” But I could only imagine what Jason was thinking. Maybe if he’d known the bargain struck between Lucien and Uncle John, if he’d known what John was really trying to avoid.

  The mysterious phone calls that John had always gotten, I didn’t remember them happening when I was younger. Maybe they hadn’t. Maybe Lucien had waited until I was old enough and then he started drawing John back in. And John hadn’t run, because how far could you run from something that could predict your every move?

  “You can always find family, Braden. It’s more than just the blood you share. It’s a connection. Deeper than anything else, a well that you share between you.”

  My mom had a family. A brother and a sister. I’d always wanted a brother or something when I was younger, even though I knew it would never happen. Siblings were for kids that had two parents. I only had John. Besides, I wouldn’t want to be the oldest—I wanted older siblings to follow around and learn from. Growing up seemed like it would have been easier if I was the baby. Maybe I wouldn’t have ended up here at all because I would have had someone else looking out just for me.

  “I—I’ll think about it,” I said, pulling my hands away from my skin.

  Jason nodded, eyes widening a fraction. It was nice to know I could still surprise him. You didn’t expect me to agree, did you? And if I was willing to admit it, it was nice that I cared enough to notice.

  “I’ll make some calls. They won’t come into the city itself, not with our … issues. They’re aware of Lucien’s limits. As long as they don’t cross the town line, he can’t touch them.”

  Lucien was bound to the city, trapped through a complex spell that Grace had created that used the lines of the town as a binding to keep him here. “But he can still leave. He had to, he came to Montana and put the vision in my head that brought me here.”

  Jason nodded. “But had a connection to my brother, acting like a beacon. Even still, he was likely at an incredible disadvantage. In order to even send a projection, he would have had to leave the bulk of what power he had behind. And no one likes to be helpless.” His face blanched as the implication of what he’d just said occurred to him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

  “It’s fine.” After that, neither one of us had anything to say, and we sat there, the only sound the ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner. I looked up several times, thinking Jason was looking at me, only to see his eyes vacant and relaxed. Whatever he was seeing made him look … relaxed. And sad.

  “What happened the night she died?” I asked, my voice reverently quiet. Ben had brought my mother up the night he’d stolen my blood. I hadn’t forgotten, but there’d never seemed like a good time to ask.

  As easily as Jason had opened up moments ago, the gates slammed closed and his posture stiffened. His silence stopped being a thing of feelings and regret, and returned to the constipated, prissy quiet that I’d come to know and loathe.

  “I’ll let you know when your aunt and uncle are ready to meet,” Jason said, his voice almost robotic in its monotony. As if only a minute ago we hadn’t been discussing my mother, and Jason had smiled.

  Nothing’s ever going to change. Maybe he’s right, and I should just run while I’ve got the chance.

  It was a surprise how much that thought hurt.

  ten

  Trey wasn’t lingering by the door ready to pounce the moment I left Jason’s study. Drew wasn’t lurking around the back waiting to seethe in my general direction, either. It was a little disconcerting. I expected one or both of them to vent about Jason at me, so the unexpected silence was … uncomfortable. It threw my day off a little—I’d hoped getting Drew to kick my ass a bit would soothe the itching in my legs and maybe clear my head a little bit.

  What did it say about me that my entire sense of normalcy rested on Trey intruding on me and Drew being a dick?

  I wanted to go for a run, but without Drew there, I didn’t feel comfortable going out back into the woods. But there was nothing to stop me from using the treadmill that Jason had in his exercise room. It was more like a suite, full of top-of-the-line equipment that didn’t have a speck of dust on it, but still didn’t look like it had ever been used.

  I stopped by my room to pick up a pair of shoes and change into running shorts, and then I headed back, intending on only going for a mile or two. Just enough to take off the edge to this nervous energy. But once I hopped on, and my stride started to lengthen, I found myself falling into a rhythm. It was like the moment I really hit my stride my mind cleared out of all the stress and the tangled thoughts, leaving me with clear canvas.

  I had family other than Jason. He’d gone in search of them. That was why John had come back to the house that last day. He’d told Jason exactly where to find them. But the knowledge still chafed against the memory of my uncle. John had known all along that they existed, and he’d never even said a word. Never told me there was somewhere else I might be safe, if not for him. Maybe things would have been different.

  But I could leave. If not with them, then with Jade. I had options.

  Leaving meant that they would all get away with it. Lucien for destroying so many lives. Catherine for what she did to my uncle. Grace, for what she’d done to me. Walking away meant giving up on any of that. Was that cowardly? Or was it a strategic retreat? I wish you were still here, Uncle John, I thought. Because I don’t know what to do. I zoned out for a bit, staring out the window at the forest behind the house.<
br />
  It had seemed like only a few minutes since I’d jumped on the treadmill, but by the time I looked down at the screen, I was supposedly crossing my seventh mile. I looked around, realizing the light in the room was different. Brighter, since we were on the western side of the house and it was getting to be midafternoon.

  There was definitely something wrong with me. I’d never been weak and housebound, but I’d never had the kind of energy I had lately. Last time things had started to get strange, I’d ignored it and it had turned I had a part of Lucien’s … I don’t even know what the winter voice was, but it had been in my head, manipulating me.

  But who was I supposed to ask? Jason? He was already half tempted to lock me up where no one would ever find me again. There wasn’t anyone else I thought could help that I would even remotely consider going to.

  When I got back to my room (after pushing through and finishing the eighth mile), my phone was blinking.

  Catherine knows we want to leave. Lucien told her, Jade had texted almost an hour ago.

  How???? I sent back.

  A new pair of sunglasses says it involved entrails.

  It was stupid of me to even be surprised. Lucien had the ability to see the future as a series of threaded timelines that split off from each other at the slightest deviation. I’d tapped into his power before and been almost immediately overwhelmed. At any given moment, there are thousands upon thousands of possibilities in play. Our conversation last night must have triggered something, set a particular future into motion or something.

  That was the main problem in wanting to work against Lucien. The only way to really get the best of him was to be truly random. I hadn’t planned to shoot him in the head, which was the only reason it must have worked.

  She said if I try to leave, she’ll just beat me there and bring me back, Jade texted. What are we going to do?