“Well, we weren’t exactly exclusive.”
“Explain.” After taking the last bite of his waffle, Dave slides the plate to the end of the table and begins working on his scrambled eggs and bacon. He gives me a dirty look when I reach over and snatch a strip of bacon. I wasn’t feeling hungry when he ordered, but how can you look at bacon and not eat it?
“I have commitment issues.”
“Daddy issues?” Dave jokes, but doesn’t know that he is pretty dead on.
“Something like that. Parents divorced when I was young, after my dad cheated. I don’t want to go through the hurt I witnessed my mom experience. At a young age I decided that love was not worth it and I wanted to avoid it at all costs.”
“So, basically you built up your walls at a young age, typically making them all the harder to tear down. So the non-exclusiveness, that was your call?”
“Yeah, it was. Sam wanted more; always did. It didn’t take long for him to work his way into my heart. He’s just that kind of guy, I guess. Being around Sam made me feel less damaged. He broke down my walls and I was finally ready to give in. I wanted him to be mine, because I knew I already had been his for quite some time.” I pause, reliving the night that changed everything. “The night I went to confess my feelings, I found him with his tongue down a nasty bitch’s throat. Probably the worst girl he could have picked.” The image of Sam and icky Vicky still makes me cringe.
“Damn. Does he know?” Looking down at the table, I shake my head. “You never told him? After all this time?”
“No. I had finally let my guard down, only to end up getting hurt. Lesson learned. I was pissed off and ended up sleeping with his friend. I had turned off my emotions at that point. Since teenage boys were always bragging about their hook ups, I knew Sam would find out, and in that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to hurt him.”
I can’t believe how easy it is to open up to Dave. He is actually the only person I have told this story to. I have never even told Sawyer about the night Sam broke my heart.
“I would imagine you succeeded,” was all he could say.
“Oh yeah. He wouldn’t look at me for the longest time. Eventually, we started hooking up again, but it was just sex. Nothing more.” At least that is what I always chose to believe, but deep down I know it was always more, especially for Sam. I could see it in his eyes every time.
“He never tried for more?” With his second plate nearly empty, Dave offers me his last strip of bacon, which I gladly accept.
“Last December we lost a close friend in a car accident. Sam was realizing how short life could be and was discussing his options for senior year with me. It ended in a fight about our relationship status, as usual. Words were exchanged and we hadn’t talked since, until now. For me though, losing Austin and watching my best friend fall apart after losing a piece of her heart, was just another way to get hurt.”
Dave places his hand over mine and squeezes lightly. “I am sorry about your friend.”
“Thanks.” I know for a fact that Austin would be the first to kick my ass knowing that I was using his death as a way to avoid Sam. He was always on Sam’s side when it came to most everything.
“So, last night you saw him? How did that go?”
The waitress stops by the table to collect Dave’s empty dishes and asks if I need another refill. My cup is still full from the last one, which she would know if she pulled her eyes away from the tattooed God in front of me.
“I was surprised, excited, and terrified. Surprised, because we hadn’t spoken since December and I was not anticipating seeing him, in my town. Excited, because I missed him and now he would be close by. But most of all, I was terrified because I didn’t realize how much I missed up until the second I saw him. Sam has a way of evoking emotions that I work hard to keep locked away. I am more confused now than I have ever been.” Pushing my coffee to the side, I reach for the glass of water and take a much-needed drink.
“You love him.”
The shock from his words causes the water to shoot from my mouth and I soak Dave.
Real classy Cheyenne.
Thankfully Dave laughs and wipes his face with a napkin.
“Whoa.” I exclaim when I am finally able to speak. “What the fuck?” I rub my chest in an attempt to calm my rapid beating heart.
It’s hard to breathe.
I don’t apologize for practically spitting in his face, because he deserved it; in my opinion.
Dave is having the time of his life, cracking up from across the booth, at my expense. I am happy he can find joy in my pain.
Asshole.
“Too soon?” He asks.
“Never a good time to bring up love.”
“So you are in denial?” He starts to laugh again, but when he catches sight of the look I am giving him he reels it in. “Okay, I’ll drop it. What is your plan now that he is here?”
“Well I was shooting for the whole ‘get over one guy by getting under another’, but that didn’t work out.” Hoping to divert the conversation away from the illicit L word, I wink and bat my eyelashes.
Dave shifts in his seat and lowers his hand under the table to, assumingly, adjust himself.
Score for me.
“As tempting as you are, and believe me you are tempting as fuck, I am trying to be a friend here.” Dave sits up straighter and I roll my eyes leaning back into the booth.
I let out an audible huff, annoyed that he still wants to talk about this. “I told him I am still not ready and we agreed that it was better for us to not hook up anymore.”
“Wait, so after everything, he still hasn’t given up?”
I simply nod.
“Persistent. I think I like this Sam guy. We should to meet.”
“Horrible best friend.” I call out, pointing my finger at him. “You can’t like him or take his side! And I think you two meeting is a terrible idea.” I can only imagine how that would go over.
Dave holds his hands up in surrender. “Sorry. I should warn you, I am new at this whole ‘friend’ thing with the ladies.” I laugh seeing Dave use air-quotes.
“To be honest, you are actually pretty good at it.” I don’t know what it was about Dave that had me opening up, but he really was being a good friend; one who wasn’t forcing his beliefs on me nor judging my choices.
“Good.” He says, blowing out a breath, looking relieved. “Now let’s get you home. It’s pretty late and I am afraid if I take you back to my place, I will not be very friend-like.”
“Sounds fun though.” I joke. “So, when do I get to hear your story? It’s only fair you know. Being that we are best friends now.”
“You’re right, but another time. I promise I will bore you with my issues next time.”
“Okay, but I will hold you to it.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Standing from the booth, Dave holds his hand out for me and I accept it.
While walking out to his car, I can’t help but reflect on the last week and wonder how Dave went from the sexy singer, who literally rocked my world, to the guy I just revealed my deep fears to. When he came up behind me on the dance floor, I had all intentions of repeating the activities of our last night together. My original plan for the night was to get drunk and forget about Sam. With the interesting turn of events, I ended up talking about it and somehow I essentially feel better. Just that little bit of conversation makes me feel like as if a weight has been lifted.
I am still wondering what Sam is doing right now and I can only hope that he is at his apartment, sleeping in his comfortable bed alone. Maybe that is a minor double standard, seeing as I planned on going home with Dave. But I couldn’t and I didn’t.
No one can make me feel the way the Sam does. He is the only guy that I have any kind of feelings towards.
During the drive back to my apartment my lids grew heavy. I really need sleep. It is way too late at night, or early in the morning, however you look at it, to be thinking about these things. Maybe tomorrow I
can revisit the subject, but I probably wouldn’t.
“Thanks for tonight. Talking was surprisingly nice.” Dave had just parked outside my apartment and I was about to exit.
“It was nice. We should do it more.”
“Yes, but next time it will be you that’s in the hot seat.” I am extremely interested to find out more about Dave, the rockstar, and all his secrets. There has got to be a good story there.
“I guess that’s only fair. Sleep well, Cheyenne. I will talk to you tomorrow.” Leaning over the console Dave gives me a sweet kiss on the cheek.
My face is burning up and I can only imagine the blush color that is flooding my cheeks. If there wasn’t a Sam, I know Dave would be someone I could see myself involved with.
“Good night, Dave.” Turning away I open the door and step out.
As I make my way up the flight of stairs I realize that I am now wide-awake. Sawyer went home with Preston, so I know for a fact she won’t be home to harass. However, there is a chance that Becka is home, although she is most likely asleep. Eh, who cares I will wake her up and make her entertain me.
After I unlock my door, I turn and wave to Dave, who reverses and pulls away. After first kicking off my shoes, I set my bag down on the counter as I round the island and head straight for the pantry. Grabbing a bottle of I water I unscrew the lid and drink nearly half in just a couple gulps. It’s after I finish the water and toss the empty bottle in the trash, when I hear a familiar giggle coming from the end of the hallway. It was coming from Becka’s room. Looks like she is awake after all.
The closer I get, the more I become aware of the slow beats streaming from her room.
Is that..?
Yep. Usher.
That little hooker has someone in the room with her. I should have known when I heard the giggles, but now, hearing this baby-making music, I know for a fact she isn’t alone.
Standing outside her door I have a brief moment where I think that maybe I should walk away and let Becka have her privacy. It’s a very brief moment before I say fuck it, and knock right before barging into her room.
There is a lot of quick motion with blankets flying around that I couldn’t miss, even in the dark. I give her a second before I hit the light switch and take in the scene. Becka is sitting on her bed with the comforter pulled up to her waist and on the other side of her lies a body shaped lump. I don’t know who they think they are kidding, but I will play along.
“Hey Becks! I was hoping you were awake.” I say, leaning against her doorframe, carrying on as if this is a normal thing for us.
“What are you doing home?” Becka asks as she swiftly glances around the room like she is looking for something. Her rather nervous and panicky behavior reveals she may be hiding something. And my first guess would be the person in bed with her.
I tilt my head, looking at her as though she has lost her mind. “I do live here.”
“Well, I was just going to bed, it has been a long night. Let’s catch up tomorrow.” Stretching her arms over her head, Becka tries to play off a fake yawn.
This bitch is crazy.
I laugh inside. “I’m not tired and I think we should catch up now. How about we start with you telling me who is under the covers?” I step fully inside the room and cross my arms watching as Becka looks everywhere except at me.
“What are you talking about?” Becka asks with a nervous laugh.
“C’mon, Becka, the jig is up. I have tried to be patient, and you know how hard that is for me. You are killing me here and I refuse to leave this room until I know who you are hiding from me.”
We stare at one another for a moment, neither one wanting to back down, but eventually Becka gives in. She knows how stubborn I can be and she doesn’t want me to be camped out in her room all night.
“Okay, alright. Fine! If it will finally shut you up.” Her choppy blonde locks fly back and forth as she shakes her head, agitated.
She pats the lump and slowly the comforter is pulled down. Inside I am jumping with joy in victory, excited to finally solve the mystery.
When I see the long dark hair and smile that is uncovered, I am almost at a loss for words.
“Oh, hey Cheyenne.” Lilly raises her hand in a pageant wave as she moves to sit up in bed.
But, my words aren’t absent for long. “Well, you are not who I was expecting to see.”
Looks like I had the wrong bartender pinpointed the whole time. Although, things do make a lot more sense now. The times when Becka would admit where she was going it was always with Lilly.
“Okay, so now you now. Are you happy?” Becka asks, still looking a little annoyed with me. I would be worried if Lilly wasn’t grinning from ear to ear next to her.
“No.” I pause, dropping my arms before taking off running and throwing myself into the bed between the lovebirds. “This is fantastic! But how could you keep this from me? I feel slightly hurt.”
“We wanted to give it time and figure out what this was.” Becka motions between her and Lilly.
Lilly adjusts her spot in the bed, leaning against the wall facing Becka and I. “It’s new for both of us and we weren’t sure what really was going on.”
“So how long has it been going on? How did it happen? Do you miss penis? I don’t think I could survive without it. Are you sure that this is a wise choice, girls? I recall you both being relatively into the whole guy and penis thing?” I ramble out my questions in one breath causing both of them to laugh.
“One question at a time, Cheyenne.” Becka teases, patting my leg. “I guess it’s been a few months now.” She glances around me to Lilly, who nods to confirm. “As far as how it happened, I don’t know how to answer that. It just did. We didn’t plan it, nor expect it.”
“We had been spending a lot of time together and for me it was like one day I looked at Becka and suddenly I had all these feelings. I didn’t know what to say or do so I just ignored it. Then one night we were drunk and I kissed her. I was so afraid that she would be pissed at me and that I would ruin our friendship. But that one kiss changed everything.”
“Awe, you guys, that’s so sweet. I love it. But you forgot the most important question. No more penis?” I was being serious when I asked about how they could go without it. That wasn’t a joke.
Becka nudges me with her shoulder. “Only you would be worried about such a thing, Cheyenne.”
“Hey! I feel that it is a legit concern.” I rebut and we all laugh.
Suddenly, feeling the exhaustion sinking back in, I rise to my knees and lean over to hug Lilly, kissing her cheek. “I will let you lovers get back to whatever I interrupted.”
Turning back towards Becka, I pounce on her, wrapping my arms around her and covering her entire face with kisses. She hugs me back tightly and it makes me think she is relieved the secret is out. Sitting back on my calves, I look at Becka seriously. “You know this makes me think of freshman year.”
“Oh lord, Cheyenne. Don’t start.” Becka laughs, knowing where I am going with this.
“That one night we got really trashed and ended up making out in the dorm. So, I feel that being your first girl-on-girl kiss, I set the bar pretty damn high. How does this one match up?” I nod my head towards Lilly, getting a light kick from her, knocking me on my back as I double over laughing.
I make my way toward the door, blowing them each air kisses goodnight. What an interesting start of the weekend, and it is only Friday.
CHAPTER NINE
I am still exhausted when I wake the following morning, and for the first time, it is not an alcohol induced kind of exhaustion, but more of the mentally, emotionally drained, kind.
Spilling the beans and letting out my feelings was not how I pictured my night ending and what’s even more surprising is that it was Dave who I confessed it all to. Though I do feel a little better getting it all out, but at the same time, it makes it harder to ignore certain things once you say them out loud. I have worked pretty hard to keep my thoug
hts and feelings hidden and locked away.
Another surprise would be the Becka and Lilly relationship reveal. I don’t even know where to begin with this one. They both definitely had me fooled and I didn’t see it coming. It’s not my cup of tea, but who am I to judge. If it makes them both happy, which was obvious last night, then that is all that matters. I love them both and wish them nothing but the best.
I cannot wait until Sawyer comes home so I can tell her the exciting news. She is going to be thrilled for them also. I am not sure whether she plans on coming back to the apartment today, but I am hoping so.
When I am finally able to rise from the bed, I enjoy a refreshing shower, careful not to get my hair wet since it still looks good from the salon; one less thing I will have to worry about.
Without any real plans for the day, I dress casual in my torn jeans and loose tank. I am hoping that I will be able to spend the majority of my afternoon in front of the television, catching up on the shows I missed this past week. Thank the lord for cable recording. I would be lost without it, because I never find myself available to watch shows live. Plus, the added factor of being able to fast-forward through commercials is amazing.
Becka and Lilly are just walking into the apartment, when I make it to the living room. I fight the urge to run up and kiss them when I notice the JavaCafe cups in their hands.
“I love you both.” I declare, meeting them at the kitchen island.
“I needed to grab my paycheck, so I figured might as well get us coffee while we were there. The new girl was working today and isn’t really that great, but not to worry, I went behind the counter and made these.” Becka hands me the warm cup while Lilly sets the white paper bag on the island.
“Muffins were fresh, so we grabbed a couple of those too. Just don’t touch the banana bread one, that’s mine.” Lilly says, heading towards the direction of Becka’s room.
“Mmm. This is so good.” One hot sip and I already feel ten times better. Opening the bag I reach in and grab a blueberry muffin. I raise it up to Becka, asking if it was okay.
“Yeah, that one is for you.” She laughs, knowing blueberry is my all-time favorite.
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