Chad turned back around and placed the shot in front of me. “After you.” He said.
I gave him my devilish ‘I don’t trust you’ gaze but tipped the shot back anyway. And as usual, it was damn good.
“Nicely done. That one was really good. Enlighten me, Sensei.” I wave my hand toward the empty glass wondering what he came up with this time.
“That my dear is a ‘Jealous Queen’.” He smiled and I just shook my head. He wiped up the counter and then nodded toward the glass I was admiring and asked, “Why did Sam leave so soon?”
My heart fell to my stomach.
“What? Sam? As in tall, blonde, handsome…my Sam? Are you sure?”
What the hell was he talking about? Sam wouldn’t be home until tomorrow morning.
“Yeah, I’m sure. He ordered this drink and then sat at the edge of the bar sipping it, while watching the band. I didn’t have much time to chat since the bar was lined with beautiful women waiting for the hottest bartender to serve them, and when I made my way back down to this side of the bar he was already gone.
“That’s weird. He didn’t even say hi. I thought he wasn’t coming home until tomorrow. I am so confused.” I pulled my phone from my purse and sent him a text.
You’re home! Why did you leave, I was here on the dance floor. Did you not see me?
Not a word. I waited a few minutes and then called. It went straight to voicemail.
So weird. Was he mad? Why would he be mad?
“Hey sugar, we are about to head back on stage.” Dave practically scared me half to death. I didn’t notice him come up on me as I was staring at my phone waiting for Sam to text back. “Hey you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, sorry. I am just trying to get a hold of Sam. Apparently, he came home early and was here, but then left without saying hi.”
“That’s strange. Maybe you should go see if he is okay. Need me to find you a ride?” Dave seemed concerned and it made me start to worry.
“No, I can walk. He doesn’t live too far from here. Have a good rest of the show. I’ll text you later.” I gave Dave a hug and thanked Chad for the drinks, quickly making my way to the door. I asked Dave and Chad to let the girls know I left, but I also sent them a quick text.
The entire way to his apartment I must have called six more times and sent a couple more texts. Maybe he was sick and had to run home. It just wasn’t making any sense. He came home early and didn’t even text me.
I knocked fiercely on the door, as my heart nearly beat out of my chest. I practically ran here and my nerves were causing my heart rate to increase by the second. I could hear noise from the inside, like someone was stumbling around and stammering.
Was he drunk?
“Sam, open up. It’s me.” I said sweetly through the door, hoping he could hear my voice and I continued to knock a few more times.
After a few moments, which seemed like forever, the door swung open mid knock and caused me to jump back. Sam stood broad in the doorway with one arm on the frame and the other holding open the door.
“What!?” he shouted and then lowered his voice, without masking the emotion. “Oh how can I help you princess?” He was definitely drunk and seriously angry.
“What the fuck? Why such an attitude?” I ducked under his arm and made my way into his apartment turning around to face him as he shut the door.
“Well, come on in. You always do what you want anyways.” He stumbled right past me and into the kitchen looking around on the countertops.
“Seriously, Sam. Why are you mad at me, and how did you get so damn drunk? Chad said you only sipped on your drink and then left.”
He found what he was looking for as I watched him lift the bottle of Jack to his lips and take a swig. The half empty bottle was the answer to my question. It dripped down his chin and he wiped it off with the back of his hand, then carried the bottle into the living room, walking right past me and sitting down on the futon focused on the TV.
“Sam. Are you kidding me?” I waved at him as if he didn’t even know I was there. “Did you not see me at Penny’s? Why didn’t you find me?”
“Ha. I did find you. And trust me, I saw more than I wanted to see. Shouldn’t you get back to watch your boyfriend’s band finish their set?” He waved at the door signaling me to leave.
My mouth popped open, stunned at his words. I was nearly speechless, but not quite.
“You’re kidding, right? I have been so excited, waiting for you to come home and you can’t even text me to tell me you’re here! And what did you see? Me having fun! Dancing with my friends!” I threw my hands up in the air. I just didn’t understand.
He was laughing to himself and shaking his head. I glanced at the table in the dining room and saw a bottle of wine and bouquet of flowers surrounded by fallen petals as if they had been sitting there without water and were slammed down onto the table.
“I just can’t win with you. I finally feel like we are getting somewhere, I come home early to surprise you and sweep you out of the bar for dinner and wine, only to find you being serenaded and shamelessly flirted with in front of everyone. He might as well have just pulled you on stage and fucked you right there. You would have liked that wouldn’t you?” His brows furrowed as his voice was increasing.
“Fuck you. Dave is my friend, and knows that is my favorite song. He’s a performer and likes to put on a show for everyone—“
“Yeah, and you just love the attention. Always have.”
“This is ridiculous. You’re drunk and talking out of your ass.”
Now I was pissed.
“This is what you do, Chey. You build me up, and then tear me down. You never know what the fuck you want and I’m always here waiting for you to figure it out. I must be fucking dumb. I mean, how well do you know this guy?”
“He’s the singer of our favorite band. We all know him from Penny’s. He is our friend and he’s a really nice guy. You would like him.” I say hoping he doesn’t push the issue.
There was an eery silence for a brief moment as he leaned his elbows to his knees with his head down. Slowly lifting his face, he locked his eyes intensely with mine.
“Have you fucked him?” His painful expression caused my heart to ache and it was as if I could feel tiny pieces beginning to fall to my stomach in chunks. I was speechless. I didn’t want to talk about this now, not while he was drunk. He would never understand that it meant nothing to me. But I also didn’t want to lie.
Apparently, I took too long to answer.
“Get out.” He said as he returned his gaze to the ground, keeping his elbows on his knees with his hands folded together.
“Sam, let me—“
“Get the fuck out, Cheyenne!” He stood up quickly as his voice rose. “I don’t want to see your face.”
The tears were already at my chin and I turned to the door without another word. After closing it behind me, I sank to the floor. The tears were falling, but there was no cries coming out of my throat. I was in shock. He just doesn’t understand. Why is he being so irrational? Oh that’s right, he’s drunk. And now I wasn’t. This damn fight sobered me up real quick.
The more I sat and replayed the recent events in my mind, the more upset I got. And not weepy sad upset, I was getting angry upset. He was being an asshole and I didn’t deserve that. I slept with Dave way before I even knew Sam moved to town. In fact, I haven’t been with anyone since he moved here.
Fuck this shit.
I stood up, straightened out my clothes, checked my face in my compact and left the building. I shook it off and headed back to the bar. This asshole would not ruin my night.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“What a dick.” I must have muttered this statement at least ten times on my way back to Penny’s.
As I approach the building, the length of the line seems to grow with each step. It is times like these that I am especially thankful to be on the permanent guest list and able to walk right in past security like I own the
place. You would think I should have some kind of stock by now with the amount of money I have poured into this place since.
The upbeat music floods my ears as I make my way through the crowd and squeeze in between two frat boys at the bar.
“Excuse me gentleman, it’s been a long night so far, and I’m in no mood to wait for a drink.” I wave at Chad who nods as I catch his attention.
The two guys I interrupted lift their hands in surrender and laugh at my comment.
“Sure thing, sexy. I would never get in the way of a lady and her…” he looks at me and then to Chad who has now made his way over.
“Vodka Cran?” Chad asks me.
“Hell yeah, make it a triple. And thank you…” I reach out my hand turning to my right. I guess I should be nice to the guy who just bought me a drink, although, I really should be just swearing off men altogether at this point.
“What a dick.” I mutter under my breath. Just thinking about Sam was causing my mood to deteriorate quickly.
“I’m Jacob and this is Brian.” He points at his friend behind me. “And you’re welcome. Hope it helps with the mood.” The tall, muscular frat boy flashes me a toothy smile then signals his friend and they both walk away.
“Really running them off tonight, huh? Did you find Sam?” Normally Chad’s comments didn’t ever faze me, but tonight he was instantly under my skin, mostly because he was right.
“Blow me. I need a shot.”
“Shit, woman. Sorry if I hit a nerve, you okay?” Chad asked sincerely.
“Sorry, boo, just not a good night. Got something to make me forget the last hour?”
“You know I do. Give me one sec.” He turned to the back bar and began his usual technique of mixing and showboating his skills while all the ladies at the bar swoon. He slid the small glass towards me and without asking I picked it up and slammed it back.
“Whoo. That should do the trick.” I say as my throat begins to heat up.
“Hope so. That right there is a mind eraser. You should be feeling much better soon.” He winked and I took a long swig of my drink in attempt to cool my throat.
“Thanks.” I reply and place the straw back between my lips.
I needed my mind to leave me alone and stop making me feel bad for something I didn’t even know I did. In less time than it took me to think my last thought, I heard the slurping of ice cubes at the bottom of my cup. As I lifted my eyes from the bar to look for Chad, I instantly notice my increasing buzz.
Finally.
“Tres vodka, por favor!” I holler towards Chad who laughs and shakes his head at my poor drunken attempt at the romantic language.
“Si, senorita. Viniendo Derecha Arriba.” He yells back. Who knew, he spoke Spanish so well? I sure as hell didn’t, and it was HOT! I guess it makes sense. He did showcase a little Latin flavor and he sure was suave. Damn, I bet he can dance.
“Here you go. Another, tres vodka.” He mocks.
“Gracias. Muy caliente.” I winked at him and began my race to the bottom of the cup.
“Relax, lady. You might want to slow down.”
Really? Relax? Who says that to a girl who is clearly having a bad night? He should just do his job and keep the drinks flowing.
“Hey, buddy why don’t you just relax and let me do what I want. I am paying you for these, right? I thought so. Just keep them coming. I can handle myself. Not my first rodeo, cowboy.” I was starting to really get tired of everyone judging me tonight.
“Listen, I was just looking out for you and making sure you don’t do anything dumb. But, hey, if you want to keep drinking until you puke, by all means, let me help.” He turned around and before I could reply he had another shot in front of me.
“Thanks. But like I said, I can handle myself.” I threw back the shot and went out to the dance floor.
If anyone else wanted to judge me, they can do it right here on the floor as they watch me get my jam on.
The night went on and on, and then it stopped. Well, at least my memory of it stopped. As I rolled onto my back, I could see more of the sun than I was used to coming through the window.
Damn it.
If my brain was beating any harder, it was sure to explode right through my skull. The body next me rolled over and I had never been more thankful to see Dave, than this very moment.
“Morning, killer. There is a water and medicine on the table next to you.”
“Oh thank you, Jesus.” I rolled back to the other side of the bed and made sure to drink nice and slow. My stomach was feeling weak and I needed to make sure this pill stayed down so I could eventually move from this spot.
“I’ll take you home soon, just need a few more minutes of sleep.” Dave grumbled.
“Glad I’m not the only one hung over.” I sighed and lay back onto the pillow.
“Not quite. Just tired. Had to help a friend toss her cookies all night.”
“Oh, crap. Sorry friend. I didn’t mean for you to have to take care of me.”
“It’s all good. But you owe me. Big time.” He reached his arm across the bed and rubbed my arm.
“Thanks, Dave.” I closed my eyes and we both drifted back to sleep.
After another hour of sleep, Dave and I eventually crawled out of bed and headed to my apartment. It was a nice quiet ride, he knew better than to ask about my ‘feelings’, at least not this morning; too soon.
Pulling into the parking lot we share a quick hug and I climb out of his car and make my way up the stairs to my apartment. The insane pounding in my head was increasing with each step on the incline of the stairs and I wanted nothing more than to sprint straight up them and dive into my bed. However, there would be no sprinting this morning, I was having a hard enough time focusing, just watching as each foot climbed to the next step with my hand clutching to the rail. Only a few more and I would be home free. Well at least I thought I was.
“Jesus, Mary &…Ouch!” I flung my hand to my heart and then to my head. Practically experiencing a heart attack, and then yelling so loud I nearly caused hemorrhaging in my swollen brain. Sam could not have been worse with timing. Was he really standing at my door witnessing my personal walk of shame?
“Rough night. Well, glad you were well taken care of.” His expression was hard and his eyes moved from my face to my shirt.
“Excuse me?” It took me a moment before I realized what he must have seen. I was still wearing Dave’s shirt from the night before. “Whatever, you have no idea what you are talking about.” I reached into my bag and felt around for my keys.
“You’re right. I would be wrong to assume that you could just jump into bed with another guy after we argued last night. That would be so out of character for you. ”
“You’re shitting me, right?” I did not have time for this; again, too soon. “Sam, you need to go. You are making assumptions and couldn’t be more wrong. I’m going inside now. Call me when you grow up and want to talk like adults.”
“Grow up? Me?” He was now smirking and shaking his head. “Funny thing is, I came here to apologize for my behavior last night. But lucky me, gets to watch you stumble up the stairs after what appears to be a hell of a night with some other sucker and now…I’m only sorry I ever cared.” He took his hands from his pockets and held them up in surrender. “Maybe we both need to grow up and move on.” He turned toward the stairs and disappeared from my view.
I really did it this time. I was in no shape to defend myself and couldn’t even get out a word to stop him from leaving. The situation was weighing on me as I stood there another minute after he left before finally unlocking the door and going to my room. With a quick shower and an episode of Will and Grace, I was happily snoozing.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I had lost track of the number of days it had been since I spoke with Sam, and I can’t help but think it was probably for the best. There was no set amount of time it would take for us to think things over and try to sort this all out. Not that I was even sure he wou
ld ever want to. I’ve seen Sam hurt and upset plenty of times before, but this time was different. I felt different. His hurt was causing me an immense amount of pain that I was usually able to get over pretty quickly. I never liked hurting Sam, or anyone for that matter. My thoughts were consumed by those moments, replaying both situations back to back, over and over. Watching him sit on couch and ask me if I slept with Dave. Telling me to leave, that he couldn’t look at me. And worse of all, saying he was sorry that he ever cared.
It was bad enough that he was hurting and it was my fault, but the fact that he had it all wrong was killing me. I slept with Dave way before I knew Sam was here and I did nothing wrong the night he saw me at the show. And definitely nothing happened after we argued and I threw my self a pity party of puking all night.
Poor Dave. I still owe him for taking care of me that night.
The apartment had been quiet as usual. We had all been busy with school and work and it was a miracle lately to have all three girls home at the same time. It was weird for me to spend so much time alone and selfishly enough, I was thoroughly enjoying it. No one needed to hear about the Cheyenne Saga, nor did I want to share the fact that I hurt Sam, yet again.
Dave was the only one who really knew what had been going on and I was thankful he was around to talk to. We had lunch together a few days this week and I have plans to go to his show tonight. It will be the first time I’ve gone out since the Puke-A-Thon, and thankfully it would not be at Penny’s. Though, I should probably go by there soon and apologize to Chad. I vaguely remember being a complete bitch to him that night.
The band was already set up when I arrived and I found my seat next to Jasmine, Pete’s girlfriend. He was the drummer of Knucks Road and recently met her at Penny’s. I had seen her at a few other shows and we hit it off pretty well. She was older than me by about 10 years, but respected me nonetheless.
“Not drinking tonight?” Jasmine asked as she swept her long red hair up into a ponytail.
“Nah. Got a lot of homework tomorrow and want to get up early.” I replied.
Falling to Pieces Page 17