by Renea Porter
Layne has been so distraught. He’s been withdrawing from us even though we are all devastated. He goes off by himself sometimes, and it’s for hours at a time. I do know Dylan and him went to go buy some dress clothes for her viewing and funeral.
****
At the viewing, I take the podium after her parent’s visit with everyone. The place is packed.
I clear my throat and thank everyone for coming. “When I first met Amber, I knew right away she was going to be my best friend. I remember that first day like it was yesterday. She wanted me to introduce her to Layne.” I motion to Layne. “I tried to warn her that he was a player. But she said, ‘just introduce us and I’ll take it from there’. That’s just how she was. She saw something she wanted and she went after it, and I don’t think Layne has been the same since.” He shakes his head, agreeing with me.
There isn’t a dry eye in the place. At the sight of their tears, I fight my own and take a deep breath, knowing I have to do this for Amber. So I continue. “She spoke her mind freely, whether we wanted to hear it or not. She was loved by many and gone way before her time. When I asked Amber why she kept her illness from us, she said it was only because she wanted to feel normal for once. But what is normal? The girl that goes to class and gets good grades, the star athlete that has a promising future, the woman that sells her body to support her habit, or the homeless man that is willing to beg, borrow, and steal for his next meal? Everyone has their version of normal, and this was Amber’s. I don’t have a sister, but we were so close, sometimes it felt like she was family,” I finish as the tears start to flow.
I clear my throat again, and notice Sarah running out of the viewing, crying hysterically. I watch Chase run out after her and hope he can provide her with comfort. I step down and take a seat in between Layne and Dylan. Dylan grabs my hand and holds it tightly. “That was an awesome speech,” he tells me with a comforting smile
“That public speaking class came in handy,” I tell him.
“Your speech was fucking epic,” Layne says, turning to me. “Thank you.”
EPILOGUE
Layne
It’s been a month since Amber passed, and I’m struggling to move on as she requested.
I’m back at school, but only in existence. The days start to run together and I barely remember when I last showered or if I ate. Renee tries to get me to go out and make my presence known, but I just can’t. Everywhere I look I see Amber in the halls, in class, in my car, and in my bed next to me.
One day, I was walking in a daze and I thought I’d seen her from behind. When I approached her and she turned around, I realized it wasn’t her. My mind plays tricks like that on me all the time, and it’s a wonder I even leave the house.
I thought the days would get easier as the time passed, but it’s turning out to be the opposite. A piece of my heart died along with her, and I know I will never be the same. I’m even starting to forget how she smelled. I’m forgetting her smile and her infectious laugh. I cry, because I don’t want to forget her. I want to hang onto the only part of her I have left, my memories.
It’s when the sun goes down when I miss her most, when I feel my loneliest I beg for one last moment with her. Sleeping is even more difficult, because I worry that I might not remember her when I wake.
Last night, when I did finally sleep, I dreamt of her. She came to visit me in my dreams, and she told me she loved me and that she was okay. I reached out for her, but I couldn’t touch her. She told me I would be okay and then she was gone as fast as she came. I miss the touch of her soft skin against mine, her soft kisses, and the sound of her voice. What we had could have been fucking epic, but she was ripped from me, almost literally. Leaving her behind was just about the hardest thing I ever did. I will never, ever love anyone, especially not the way I loved her.
School starts next month, and Renee said she is taking the first semester off. I tried to talk her out of it, but what do I know? I’m just a guy with a broken heart. I know eventually, with time, it will get easier, but I’ll always miss her. It’s just a hard reality to accept, and I’m just not ready yet.
The End
Stay tuned for more with Book Two
Acknowledgements
I’d especially like to thank my author BFF Brittainy Cherry, without her insistence, this book wouldn’t be written. Matter of fact I begged her to talk me out of this storyline, but she kept telling me to do. And I hated her for insisting on it, but really she is awesome. Brittainy you are always a joy to talk to, and I love how we bounce ideas off each other. And I’d like to thank my beta’s Catherine, Regina, Brittainy, Francesca, Phil, Erika and Alisa for reading this and always begging for more and their input. I’d like to thank my cover designer Kari of Cover to Cover designs who did an amazing job on the cover, and MHPhotography for taking the pictures of the cover models Sadie and Josh and lastly I’d like to thank my editor. And thanks to my cousin Suzanne for her nursing knowledge! Without all of you none of this would even be possible.
About the Author
Renea Porter is author of New Adult and Contempary Romance.
Please feel free to contact her via facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Author-Renea-Porter/236589479847039?ref=hl
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Renea resides in Pennsylvania with her husband who, she has been married since 2001. She has a step son that she adores. She works full time outside the home. When she is not writing, she can be found in the corner of the couch reading on her Kindle, she enjoys spending time with her family.