When I was paying, I found a business card in my wallet. I took the card out to read, totally forgotten whose it was. It was Dr. Max’s. Since I had some time now before Joanna reached home, I decided to go see him. I Googled how to get to the hospital’s address written on the business card while I ate my sandwich. The directions I found were so complicated. I had to switch buses at least three times just to go to a place only ten miles away? What the heck?
That was when it was like fate stepped in. Theo suddenly appeared in front of me, walking over. “Hey, Liam. What are you doing here? Don’t have to take care of Eth?”
I stared at him, surprised that he was there. “Why are you here?”
“I live here too.” Theo knocked my head. “I go to the same university as you and Sis.”
“But I’ve never seen you hanging out with us,” I said back.
“Hey, you’re my sister’s best friends, not mine,” Theo said. “I have my own friends.”
“Oh,” I realized. “Right.” I still remembered that Theo was Dr. Max’s boyfriend. “Hey, I wanna see Dr. Max. You know the quickest way through public transport?”
“Uber.” Theo put his arm around my shoulder. “Come. I’m going to go see him anyway.” He pulled me along as he walked out of Swan Hills.
I’d never tried Uber before but the experience seemed similar to taking cabs, only that we got to sit in fancy cars. Theo seemed to know the driver that he got us. He must have always called the same person and so, we got a cheaper rate.
The hospital’s lobby was crowded when we arrived. Nurses were running left and right. I wondered what had happened. We made our way to the emergency department to see if Dr. Max was there and free. But nope. He was as busy, behind the curtain saving a patient. We knew that because we could hear him talking to the nurses with an urgent tone. Theo brought me to the cafeteria instead, which I was grateful for because the sandwich I’d bought earlier couldn’t even make a quarter of my usual breakfast. I ordered two sets of roasted chicken meal at the food counter.
“Can you even finish?” Theo asked me. He’d already ordered grilled lemon fish burger for himself.
Shit. I thought Ethan was with me. “Uh, sorry. My mistake. Only one please,” I told the person behind the counter.
We sat somewhere in the middle of the cafeteria so that Dr. Max could easily see us when he came.
“How long you’re together with Dr. Max?” I asked curiously.
“Just call him Max,” Theo said. “Drop the Doctor, Doctor shit. He doesn't like it anyway,” he said and took a bite of his burger. “We’ve been together for two years.”
I nodded. “How old is he?”
“Thirty soon,” Theo answered.
It was no surprise. Dr. Max sure did look like a man in that age range. “And you?”
“Twenty,” Theo answered.
“Almost ten years gap,” I stated before I cut my chicken for another bite. “I’m sorry if I offend you but...” I leaned slightly closer to him so that the people around us wouldn’t hear us. “Don’t you think he’s a little too old for you?”
“No,” Theo answered. He looked at me for a few seconds as if he was debating in his head whether to say more. Then, he decided to tell me more. “Liam, love is not about age or gender. It’s about the feeling and loving someone.”
It felt like a slap. I just realized that I was discriminating against that kind of relationship. “I’m sorry...”
“No worries,” Theo said, eating his burger. “How’s Ethan? Is he good?”
“His mom came. He’s in better hands now,” I said and continued eating.
Even after we were done eating, Dr. Max still couldn’t make it. So we went back to the emergency department to wait for him. After a few minutes, he finally came out from one of the rooms. The patient behind him on a gurney was pushed across the corridor by a few nurses, heading towards somewhere else. Theo and I stood up from the seats and went over to him.
“Hey, Max,” Theo greeted.
“Oh, hey, Theo,” Dr. Max greeted. “Right on time. Can you go to my car and get the envelopes on the back seat? I left them there. It’s urgent and I can’t get away now.” He put his hands together and stuck them in between Theo’s forehead and his. “Please, my little Theo.” Dr. Max said and kissed the air in between their mouth once, air-kissing Theo with his hands still on their foreheads that way.
“Sure, my Max-Max.” Theo air-kissed Dr. Max back the same way. They were so open. I wondered if the whole hospital knew about Dr. Max and Theo’s relationship already. “Before doing that, Liam is here to see you. About Ethan, I think. I’ll help you first since it’s urgent.”
The moment Theo turned to leave, Dr. Max smacked Theo’s butt. Theo smiled happily as he left.
“Hi, Liam,” Dr. Max greeted me as he walked over to his desk to sit. “Didn’t see you there.” Of course he didn’t. Theo was like the only person that had ever existed that moment.
“Hi, Doctor,” I greeted politely and sat on the chair at his desk.
“Max, please,” Dr. Max said, just as Theo had mentioned earlier. “Is this about Ethan? Where is he?”
“He’s at home.”
Max raised an eyebrow and nodded. “Okay, so what’s up? You gotta be quick, though. I only have a few minutes to spare. I have to check a patient soon.”
I sighed. “Ethan is having nightmares. It’s been three days in a row now, Max. Do you think this is normal? Do people get nightmares this often? Is Ethan sick?”
Max blinked repeatedly. Just when I was about to wonder if I’d said anything wrong, he laughed. “Because of this? Because of this, you came all the way here just to ask me this?”
I nodded.
“I thought you have my number,” Max said. “I gave you a business card that day. You could have just WhatsApped me.”
“I…”
Max sniggered and shook his head. “So concerned for Ethan.”
“Yeah. He’s my best friend,” I said.
“You sure it’s just best friend? You don’t treat a friend like that. What I see is something more.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about. Something more? What more?
Max laughed again. He sighed. “I don’t want to meddle with your affairs, but what I can tell you is that it’s not normal for sure. If what you’re telling is true, that he’s having nightmares three days in a row, and I assume it must be the same nightmare over and over again, then he must be going through some stuff.”
“What stuff?” I asked stupidly. Max assumed right, though. While I wasn’t sure if they were the same exact ones, what I was sure was that Ethan was dreaming about the same person. Me.
“How would I know? That’s your job to find out, Liam. Actually, I’m no expert in this area but I’m pretty sure of one thing. It has to be something that he must be thinking all day to have him dream the same dream.”
A nurse interrupted us. “Dr. Max, room 107, the patient!”
Max stood up from his seat and hurriedly ran towards the stairway nearby, his chair spinning. It must be tough being a doctor in a hospital. I waited for Theo to come back to tell him that I would be leaving first. I needed to be home by three and it was almost two. I went home calling the same driver Theo had called earlier. Apparently, he was working Uber full-time today and was happy to take me back.
Remember to take ur meds, Eth. I texted.
He didn’t reply to me. But he’d seen it. Must still be with his mom probably. I managed to make it back home on time but Joanna wasn’t home yet. So I decided to take a shower first, didn’t want to try on clothes with a sweaty body when we shopped for clothes later. Right before I entered the bathroom, my phone I’d left on the night table rang once; a text reply. I quickly went over to check it. It wasn’t Ethan. It was Joanna.
Terrible traffic, babe. Give me 15 mins ya. I’m close. She texted.
I sighed and put my phone down.
I thought of what Max had said earlier, in
the shower. “You don’t treat a friend like that. What I see is something more.” What did he mean by that? I could only figure that Ethan and I were beyond friends. But we were beyond friends. We were like brothers. Hold on. This wasn’t important. Ethan’s condition was way more important. What did Max mean by “it has to be something that he must be thinking all day”? The only thing he could be thinking all day was... me. Yes. Me. Because he loved me.
Someone knocked on the bathroom’s door, interrupting my thoughts. “Babe?” It was Joanna.
What? It had been fifteen minutes already? I hadn’t even started shampooing my hair yet. I hurriedly got back to business. “A while, babe, I’m almost done,” I lied. But it would be quick anyway.
“I bought you some food. Eat first before we go out, okay? I wanna bath first too,” she said.
“Okay, babe,” I said. “Love you.”
“Love you too, babe.” She made a kissing sound before she left.
Shopping for clothes was Joanna’s expertise. I didn’t have to choose. She always chose for me since her matching sense was much better than mine. All I had to do was just pick one of the few that she’d chosen for me. I never complained, though. Because I was always very casual about what I wore. I just wanted to see her happy. But today was a little different. I couldn’t bring myself to smile. The entire time, I was always checking my phone.
“What’s wrong, babe?” Joanna asked me. At first, I didn’t hear her. “Babe?”
“Huh?” I realized she was asking me a question. “Nothing,” I answered her. “Hey, babe. You think we should get something for your friend’s graduation?” I said, hoping it would stray her away from her question.
“Oh right! A gift!” Joanna kissed my face immediately. “I’m getting forgetful. How could I forget something that important?”
In the end, we got an Instax Mini camera. To buy such an expensive gift, the person must have been one of Joanna’s very best friends. I wouldn’t hesitate to buy one for Ethan too if he was into this kind of stuff. But knowing him, he would just want me to get him protein powder like I always did during his birthday and he would be happy.
That night, when we were finally home, settled down and decided to call it a night, I texted Ethan, reminding him to take his medicine. He hadn’t replied me yet at all, probably busy entertaining his mom. I opened Instagram and browsed through it. I found Ethan had posted something again. It was a picture of him and his mom in his room. His caption wrote: Mom came all the way for me. The best mom.
I should have been happy for him, but I wasn’t. I didn’t know why. I put down my phone and decided to sleep. When I closed my eyes, I thought about Ethan again and smiled when I thought of how he had to hug me in order to get rid of his nightmare. This was probably why I wasn’t feeling happy, I figured. I was supposed to be there with him. We were supposed to have so much fun.
And now it was all ruined. I knew it was wrong to think like that. That was his mom. But the disappointment was just there. I sighed and tried to relax myself to sleep. The only thing I tried to look forward to was the convocation with Joanna tomorrow.
Before the convocation, Joanna decided to hit the gym, saying that we would look more refreshed when we got to the event later. We usually had the same workout routine so that we could partner-up in all kinds of exercises. We made many people in the gym jealous, really. Because we seemed to be the only regulars here who were a couple that supported each other during workouts.
Joanna was a strong girl. She was fit—one of the reasons why I liked her in the first place. She could easily squat eighty pounds without a problem and hold planks for two minutes without rest. Not many girls in the gym could do those. And if I wasn’t around, she was also independent enough to work out on her own.
The convocation was a bore even though it wasn’t like any of the ones that I’d seen or been to before. Family and friends were sitting at round tables in a large ballroom instead of just chairs. But really, I would have already left after five minutes if it wasn’t for Joanna. All we did was just waited for the graduates to walk up to the stage and receive their scrolls, one after another, and that was it. There was buffet dinner, sure, but I didn’t have the appetite to eat. Joanna had a good time, though. She was really liked by her friends and had nonstop chitchats going on. And I could tell she was really proud of us. None of her friends looked as good as us. While she was busy talking to her friends, I was busy with my phone. I’d sent a few texts over to disturb Ethan, but never did I received a single reply. Maybe a family night out? I tried to open Instagram to see what he was up to. I checked everything, including his profile, his story, and even if he had liked someone else’s picture or followed someone new. But there was nothing.
“Babe. Babe?” Joanna called, shaking my hand.
“Huh?” Shit. What did I miss?
“It’s already over,” Joanna said. “Let’s go. We’re gonna have supper together.”
I looked around. Almost everyone had left. Half of the people at our table had left too except for Joanna and her friends.
“Oh, okay, sure.” I stood up. Together, we walked out of the ballroom. I was pressing my phone again before I knew it.
“Babe… Babe...” Joanna called. “Liam!”
“Huh, huh?!” I quickly looked at her. She was holding onto my free arm. “Yes, babe?”
“Are you okay, babe?” Joanna asked. “You can’t focus in the gym and you keep looking at your Instagram today.”
I sighed and continued to scroll through Instagram, hoping to find Ethan. “I miss Eth.” This was stupid. I should just call him.
“Umm, what?” Joanna stopped walking.
“Huh?” I replied. What did I just say? I sighed again. “Sorry, babe. I’m just worried.”
“Worried about what?”
I held her hand and continued walking, pulling her with me. “Eth,” I answered. “He has seen my texts but he never replied to them since last night. He’s never done this to me before. I’m worried something might have happened to him.”
“He’s a big guy, Liam,” Joanna said. “Besides, you said his mother came back, right? He’s in the best hands already. His mom knows what he needs best.”
I sighed again, as I hated to admit that. “Yeah,” I said and put my phone away into my pocket.
Joanna smiled, seemed to be pleased about it. “So what about what I asked you earlier?”
“Umm…” I tried to think. Did she ask me something? “You asked me something? Sorry, babe, I wasn’t paying attention earlier.”
Joanna sighed. “We’re going to the Masquerade Carnival Night next Wednesday.”
“Hmm…” I tried to think about my plans this week and next week. Today was Sunday, the first day of the week, so when she said next Wednesday, she didn’t mean the coming Wednesday, right? The only important plan that I had was Olivia’s match and it was happening this coming Friday, so that wouldn’t be a problem. Apart from that, there was no any other important plan or event that I’d reserved my days for as they were supposedly for Ethan. “Yeah sure. I should be free too. I’ll go with you if you wanna go, babe.” I pecked her on the cheek before we made our way to the place she and her friends wanted to have supper.
That night, I wondered if Ethan could sleep well without me. I wondered if hugging his mom could be the same consolation for what was frightening him in his dreams. I wished I could do something for him. But what? I sighed and fell asleep at those thoughts.
The first thing I did the moment I woke up was check my phone. Again, Ethan never replied to me. This time, he had not even seen any of my text messages that I’d sent since the convocation last night. I was really worried now. What if something terrible had happened to him?
When I went out, Joanna hadn’t woken up yet. I dropped her a text on WhatsApp to tell her that I’d left for school.
I went to Ethan’s apartment, hoping to get my answer there, but no one was home. Frustrated because I couldn’t find anything
or anyone, I left and went to school. I was hoping Ethan would be in class waiting for me to give him a lecture about not resting more at home, but he wasn’t there. I sat alone in a corner. When my new friends—the friends I’d made in class when I was avoiding Ethan—tried to invite me over to sit with them, I simply shook my head. I wasn’t in a mood to entertain them. I took up my phone from the table and texted Ethan.
Whr r u? I texted. Y didn’t u reply to me? I finally sent that.
It wasn’t only that day. Tuesday was the same too. Ethan seemed to have just decided to disappear on me. I didn’t like that. And for not being able to see him, or hear his voice, or see his text at all, it was kinda driving me nuts. I couldn’t focus in any of my classes at all.
During lunch, when I ate alone in the cafeteria, I saw Samuel running from one side of the corridor to another like he was trying to escape from something.
“Sam!” I got up and raised my hand quickly so that he would notice me.
Samuel turned around. “Bro!” He ran as fast as he could to me. Him calling me bro was rare. I wondered what was up.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Do you know where Ethan is?”
He panted, hands on his knees. He swallowed and took a deep breath before he straightened up to talk. “Bro, you gotta… you gotta help me, okay?” He was still panting.
“Help you what?”
“Sam!” a familiar girl’s voice shouted.
“I’m sorry,” Samuel said and suddenly hugged me. His mouth came onto mine. I froze.
Samuel released me only after two long seconds. I looked at him, trying to figure out why he’d done that. Did he have a secret crush on me too?
Daisy was suddenly beside us. “The real reason you broke up with me is because of him?!” She pointed her first finger at me, her first finger almost touched my nose. “You’re gay?!” she shouted, like she wanted everyone in the cafeteria to know. Her plan worked. Everyone stared at us.
“Yes,” Samuel answered. “I’m into guys. I’m gay! So what?!” He shoved Daisy away from us. It almost made her fell. “Just give up on me, Daisy. We’re impossible.”
A Monster's Love Page 13