A Monster's Love

by Randy Tiergan

  Ethan fell immediately. Unconscious. I clenched my fists. Fuck! How could he?! How could she?! How could they?! I didn’t know what took over me. My strength suddenly came back. I shoved Joanna away from me and tried to lunge at Duncan from the bed straightaway. But before I could, my strength was suddenly gone again. I fell the moment I leaped off the bed. My face hit the ground and landed beside Ethan’s. He was the last thing I was seeing before my eyes had closed on me.

  When I was finally able to open my eyes, I was here in the middle of the stage. I had to move. I had to get back. Ethan could be in danger. I tried to get up. To run away. But the moment I did, my butt dropped back onto the stage. I realized that I was tied up with ropes. My wrists were tied together behind my back and my feet were tied together in front.

  Suddenly, there was a familiar high-pitched scary laugh. I looked around, trying to figure where it came from. The laugh echoed the place again. And then I saw him. My heart started racing. It was the exact same evil clown, blood everywhere on his body, coming towards me from the direction of the carnival’s entrance.

  Like the last time, the clown had a machete in his hand. The drug Joanna made me drank must still have been in effect. Because the clown blurred. He was suddenly at the stage’s front, walking up the stairs.

  “Do you remember me?” The monster clown laughed.

  This must be a nightmare. Or maybe it would be a sweet dream. Ethan would appear out of nowhere and save me again.

  The clown finally reached in front of me. “I’ll finish where we’ve left off!” He laughed his evil laughter again and raised his machete high up in the air, just like that night. I looked at it and waited for Ethan to come.

  He didn’t. I watched as the machete came down on me.

  The machete stopped. Right before it cut my face. The machete moved sideways, moving away from my head. The clown fell. Behind the clown was someone. But it wasn’t Ethan. It was… “Jo?”

  Joanna panted. She was holding an iron rod in her hands, her eyes locked on the clown. When she was sure the clown wasn’t getting up, she turned to look at me. “Babe!” She dropped the iron rod and quickly came towards me. “Oh, babe. You’re safe now.”

  I stared at her. I couldn’t believe this. Did she just... “Jo...”

  “It’s okay, babe. I’m here.” Joanna reached down to help me with the rope around my feet. “Nothing will hurt—”

  “Stay away,” I said.

  “What?”

  “Stay away!” I yelled. “This isn’t real...”

  “Babe...” Joanna said, stopping her untying now.

  I wasn’t stupid. I was also sure that this wasn’t a dream. I could still clearly remember everything, if not almost all. What she had done earlier. What she had done to me. What they had done to Ethan. “Enough of your acting, clown! Get up! You’re not needed here!” I shouted at the playing-dead clown.

  As I thought, it was a fake. The clown rose up from the stage floor. He looked at me and then Joanna, looking confused. But he followed what I said. He left us.

  Joanna stood up. “How?!”

  I snorted. “Turns out you’re not so smart after all, huh, Jo?” I said. “I remembered everything. What you did earlier. How you put that thing into my body.”

  “But I drugged you!” Joanna stomped her foot. “I made sure the dosage was enough. I followed what was written in the book. I—”

  “You probably didn’t take into account that I’m not like any normal person, Jo,” I said. “After a year being together, you didn’t even realize that I always needed stronger medicines.” I sniggered. “It takes years of experience to become a full-fledged pharmacist. You’re just a student. But you know what, Jo? Someone like you will never be.”

  “Don’t get cocky with me, Liam!” Joanna said.

  “So what now?” I asked her. “What are you going to do?”

  “What am I going to do?” Joanna began to walk around me slowly as she spoke. “I’m going to teach your boy a lesson. For screwing my boyfriend up so bad!”

  “Who’s your boyfriend?” I spat.

  “Listen to me, Liam.” She leaned down to grab me by the shirt. “I’m going to fucking beat your boyfriend up, just like how I have fucking done it last time!” She let go of my shirt and straightened up. “If I can’t have you, Liam Eastwood, neither will he!”

  “Last time?” I wondered. What was she talking about?

  Joanna folded her arms across her chest. “Oh, poor you,” she said. “You were clueless. Those guys that attacked you that night, Liam, they were my men. They were my hopeless fans. I’d just said a few things and those guys were willing to do anything for me. But they got the wrong person. I didn’t know you were there. I thought you were home. My home! And I even made sure Samuel was gone. Turned out, it did you both a favor it seems!”

  I looked at her in disbelief. “It was you?!”

  Joanna was amused by my reaction. She laughed. “You want to hear more, Liam? Then, let me tell you.” She walked around me again, in the opposite direction now. “I made Jerry rent your room so that you can’t move back. But you slept over at the faggot’s despite my warnings so, I phoned his parents. I told them that he needed some motherly care.”

  “It was you…” I gritted my teeth.

  She raised her first finger. “I’m not done yet.” She turned and walked again. “On purpose, I brought you to Starbucks, just so that you could see Ethan with Duncan. I did so to let you know that he has moved on. Oh, and when you both were together, I even told your parents about it,” she said it like she was so proud. “Thought you’ll like the favor.”

  “Everything that had happened…” I could no longer recognize this person in front of me. She was never the Joanna I knew. “It was because of you?!”

  “Yes!” Joanna snapped, throwing her hands up in the air. “What about it?!”

  “You!” I tried to move but I couldn’t. I could only rock a little. I wanted to kick her in her vagina and stomp her in her balls so fucking bad right now. “You hurt Ethan so much! You caused Ethan so much pain! Did you know you broke him inside out?! Did you know he got disowned because of you?!”

  “Oh, but those aren’t enough, you see. I even convinced Duncan to rape the fuck out of him. Should be done by now,” she said, too cockily with her first fingertip tapping her chin.

  I gasped. No, Ethan... “You—!” If only I could move. If only I could stand up right now. “Why?! What were all these for?!”

  “It’s all because I love you, Liam!” Joanna said.

  “You call that love?!” I said in disbelief. “You’re not loving me. This is call just owning me, bitch! Loving me means you won’t do something like this to me!” I laughed then, sardonically, when I thought of something. When I remembered something. “You always tell me that Ethan is a monster, dying to have me eaten. But you know what?" I looked at her in the eyes to show her how serious I was at what I was about to say next. “He isn’t the monster, Jo. You are.”

  “Fuck you, Liam!” She snarled. Her hand came across my face. It felt like nothing. “Don’t forget where your place is, bitch. You’re still tied up!”

  “Love me my foot.” I spat again. “Look at you. A few minutes ago you were all acting like you’re gonna save me. Now?!” I snorted. “I’m glad I’ve chosen Ethan. Not you. I wouldn’t know what would happen to me if I went with you instead.”

  And then she went mad.

  “Shut up, Liam! Shut up!” Joanna unsheathed a long knife she was hiding behind her back. “If I can’t have you, I’ll make sure Ethan the same!” She came down, knife pulled back, and plunged the knife forward.

  My eyes widened at the blade coming. She was really going to do it.

  “Joanna!” someone shouted. I recognized the voice immediately. It was the voice of my guardian angel. The voice of my love. I looked up from the knife to look behind Joanna. It was really him. Ethan came charging from the direction of the entrance where the clown had come from
earlier. He held an iron rod with him as he sprinted towards us. He launched himself in the air, jumping over the stairs and landed on the stage fine.

  Joanna had stopped what she was doing, now that there was a witness. “How?” She stood up and hurriedly got behind me. The blade appeared beside my neck. “How could you possibly be here?!”

  Ethan panted, breathing in and out angrily. He didn’t answer her question. Instead, he said, “Are you nuts? Let him go, Joanna. There’s still time to turn back.”

  “Who do you think you are, Ethan?” Joanna said. “A detective from the movies? Or do you think you’re really Zorro?” She snorted. “Know your place, fag. I have your boyfriend. If you don’t want him to get hurt,” Joanna pressed the blade against my neck. It cut. It stung. I could feel my neck beginning to bleed, “drop your weapon and kneel.”

  “Stop!” Ethan said. He took a few breaths, thinking. “I’ll do it,” he said and began putting down his weapon. “Just don’t hurt him,” he said as he kneeled.

  “Good dog,” Joanna said. I could tell she probably was smiling behind my back. “Now, take that rod back up and smash it over your head.”

  Knowing Ethan, he would definitely do it just to keep my safe. “Fuck, no!” I shouted.

  “Silence!” Joanna pressed the blade against my neck more, cutting me slightly deeper. I hissed as the blade cutting my flesh sent shivers down my spine. More blood trickled down my neck. “Are you doing it or not?”

  Ethan glowered at her. He said nothing. He looked at the iron rod, and then me.

  I shook my head. Please no, babe. I begged him in silence. I didn’t want to see him get hurt. Smashing the iron rod over his head at full strength would definitely kill him. I couldn’t lose him.

  “Are you going to do it or not?!” Joanna lifted her knife from my neck to point at Ethan.

  And then it happened. It was so quick that if I had blinked, I could have missed it all. Out of nowhere, there was a dart in Ethan’s hand. I recognized its shape and color. It was from the game he helped me win the Stitch plushy.

  Ethan threw the dart forward, elegantly, like he was trained to use it. Like a bullet, the dart hit Joanna’s forearm, disarming her instantly.

  Ethan charged forward, roaring. He launched a fist at Joanna. Joanna couldn’t dodge. His fist landed in her jaw so hard that she fell. Without waiting, Ethan pounced on her and locked her under his knees. He raised his fist to continue punching.

  I immediately remembered what happened when he was enraged, when he was fucking angry, especially when my safety was threatened. He would lose himself, become a beast, a monster, and attack the person nonstop.

  “Babe, no!” I tried to move. I dropped onto my side, facing him. Fuck.

  But fortunately, Ethan stopped. My words reached him easily this time. His chest repeatedly puffed in anger as he strangled Joanna with his eyes.

  “She’s not worth it,” I said.

  Ethan got up from her and quickly helped me untie my bonds. He worked on the rope around my wrists first.

  “Babe.” I smiled.

  He was quiet. He didn’t even look at me. I knew he was still angry. But that was him. It was my Ethan. The moment my hands were freed, I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.

  “Eth, Liam!” someone shouted. When we looked at where the shout came from, it was Samuel, holding Olivia’s wrist, like he was pulling her to escape from this place. They had stopped when they saw us. “Behind you, Eth!”

  I quickly looked. Joanna had gotten back up, the dagger in her hands, high up above Ethan’s head.

  “Babe!” I pushed Ethan away.

  Joanna thrust the knife down. She missed.

  Ethan took back his dart on the floor and flew it at her again. It hit her other arm, disarming her once again. She yelped.

  “Enough!” I yelled at the crazy woman.

  Ethan hurriedly came back over to help me with the rope around my feet. “If she does that one more time, babe, I’m going to fucking kill her,” he said. “I don’t care what you’re going to say.”

  Suddenly, there were sirens. I could recognize they belonged not only to the police but also the ambulance. Ethan or Samuel and Olivia must had called them.

  Samuel and Olivia came up to the stage quickly to help. On his way, Samuel took up the iron rod that Ethan had brought. Joanna was frightened as she realized she was heavily outnumbered. She decided to flee. She jumped off the stage and ran off.

  None of us gave chase.

  “Are you okay?” Samuel asked me.

  “Yeah,” I answered him. “You guys were captured too?”

  Olivia didn’t say anything. She held onto Samuel’s arm, shaking. She looked traumatized.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “That fucking Daisy tied me to a chair and gave me a lecture with PowerPoint slides,” Samuel answered. “She lectured me on how she is not a waste of time and money if I had continued to be her boyfriend instead of Oli’s. Can you believe that? When I didn’t agree with her, she tried to kill Oli in front of me!”

  Before Samuel could say more, from the direction of the entrance, someone shouted. “Eth, Liam, Sam, Oli!” It was Nathalie.

  A lot of people came. Most of them were police officers. A few were from the hospital, carrying stretchers at the ready. In front of them, leading, were Nathalie and Max.

  Finally, we were safe. I hugged Ethan again and kissed him. It was him again who saved my life. It was him again who appeared and protected me. It was him who I truly wanted to be with. He hugged me and kissed me back, as hard as I did, or probably even harder and rougher, pushing me against the floor. He continued to kiss me like tonight was the last night he could ever kiss, ignoring everyone else coming up to the stage.

  21

  Beginning or End

  (Ethan)

  L iam sang along a song in a language that I didn’t know. The radio station didn’t play the song. He did, playing the song from his thumb drive that he stabbed into the stereo’s USB port. He liked the song very much, said it had something to do with some bad romance. He was pretty much enjoying himself. I, on the other hand, wasn’t one bit.

  “Where are you bringing me, babe?” I asked grumpily. Usually, I would love surprises. But not the kind of surprises that would keep me in suspense. Liam wouldn’t tell me where he was driving me even though we were already almost an hour away from Buvekeli.

  “You really don’t wanna guess, babe?” Liam grinned. He continued singing again.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. I just couldn’t. I’d tried hard to think where he was trying to bring me. This highway, this direction, the only place I could guess was my grandma’s. But it was impossible for Liam to know. I’d briefly mentioned to him before where my grandma stayed but I was damn sure that I’d never told him the exact location.

  I hated guessing. It was so mentally draining. My mind drifted as it got tired. I started to think of something else. Starting to think of that night. The night when Joanna almost killed Liam if I hadn’t arrived in time.

  It was close, really. If I hadn’t started looking at the casual game tents first and took a dart in case of an emergency, things would have turn out much worse. It was after I had hidden the dart in my pocket that I heard Liam and Joanna yelling at each other.

  After the incident, we gave detailed statements to the police officers who arrived there before we followed Max to the hospital. We told them everything except Duncan’s involvement, keeping my promise to him. Besides, I was fine and he had let me go in time.

  I’d told Liam about it and Liam chose to forgive him too. Together, we tried to convince him to come with us to the hospital. Liam and I suspected that Duncan could be drugged to act like that. It turned out as we thought. Like Liam’s body, there were some drug substances found inside Duncan that worsened his emotional issues. The issues which he had been struggling to control. Fortunately, it wasn’t too serious. Duncan needed only to be on medication.


  Daisy, on the other hand, like Joanna, disappeared. Police officers were hunting for them.

  Liam’s neck was nothing severe. It was just a scratch, according to Max. He said Liam didn’t even need a stitch, and if Liam never scratched it, it wouldn’t even leave a scar. Samuel was as fine too, only a few scratches. But what Olivia got was worse. She wasn’t able to talk for a few days now. I really hoped she would get better soon. I missed the cheerful Olivia that we had always known.

  She didn’t have to stay in the hospital. The doctor said it was up to her to overcome what she’d face. It made me wonder what Daisy did to her. We never asked though. We feared that it would remind her of what she had been through and make her condition even worse.

  We finally passed by Levigard, the village where my grandma left her house to me. It was beautiful tonight at dusk. Colorful paper lanterns were lit and hung in between the street lights and inside and outside every house. There was no light switched on. It was a taboo to have any electrical light turned on this day. As in today.

  I felt guilty immediately. I’d almost forgot that today was the River God Festival. During this day, people would use lanterns to show gratitude and appreciation to the River God. According to the myth, the River God loved lanterns and candle lights. It was these lights that could calm the divine beast. The lanterns were also used as a guide to let the River God know where its protection was needed.

  Every year at this time, I’d always come back to pray. I’d never missed any year. But this year, I’d completely lost track of time due to recent events. Just when I was about to ask Liam to stop, Liam turned into an area full of cars. It was a parking area right outside the village—No vehicles could enter the village today, even if the driver was someone from the village. The front light or any lights inside and outside the cars were also considered electrical lights. Hence, they were also considered part of the taboo and were prohibited to enter the village during this day.

  “We’re here,” he said.

  My jaw dropped. “You wanted to bring me here?!”