What Goes Down: An emotional must-read of love, loss and second chances

by Natalie K. Martin

  Laurel went back to the window and looked down at Nico. The air was still warm, giving no respite from the soaring heat wave that had spread across the country over the last three days. Despite the heat, her bare arms bloomed with goosebumps as she stuck a leg out of the window. She sat astride the ledge, groping around with her foot until she found the drainpipe. She hooked her toes into the gap between the pipe and the wall before reaching out with one hand. The butterflies in her stomach went into a frenzy. Was she really doing this? She’d never crept out of the house in the middle of the night before. If anything, she’d had to creep back in after breaking her curfew.

  Laurel let go of the windowsill completely to grab the pipe with her other hand and winced as her knuckles dragged against the rough brick wall. She looked down over her shoulder at Nico standing below. She was much higher up than she’d first thought. Her fingers closed around the cold pipe. She wished she’d have just crept down the stairs instead.

  ‘You’re alright, I’ve got you,’ Nico called in a whisper.

  Laurel swallowed, turning her head back to face the pipe. She could do this. Nico was right there and besides, wasn’t this what she wanted? This was something new and different. It was exciting.

  She pulled in a breath and slowly inched her way down the pipe, ignoring the stinging of her knuckles until Nico’s hands took hold of her waist. They were strong and firm around her, and she let him lift her from the pipe until her feet touched the ground. Laurel turned to look at his face. It was just as she’d remembered it, angular and beautiful and, this time, covered with a light coating of dark stubble. With his hands still on her waist, he pulled her closer.

  ‘You’re late,’ she said.

  He silenced her complaint with a kiss and, after seven, long days of craving it, it was everything. His smell filled her head and she was immediately transported back to this time last week, when they’d kissed almost in this very same spot. She couldn’t hold onto the anger and disappointment she’d felt when she’d gone to bed even if she wanted to.

  Nico pulled away and gave her hips a squeeze. ‘I’m here now.’

  She could have told him that it had been no fun to sit around waiting for him all evening, or that it was now too late for them to spend any real time together, but he was right. He was here now, and that was all that mattered. She didn’t say anything as he took her hand in his and quickly led her across the street. Laurel took a quick look back at her house. The lights were still off and her stomach flickered with another bout of excitement as she climbed into Nico’s car. It was immaculate inside and smelled of leather, mint and a hint of cigarette smoke. She sucked her knuckles to calm the stinging, looking at the sleek dashboard and expensive stereo system.

  ‘You alright?’ he asked after climbing in next to her. ‘Did you hurt your hand?’

  Laurel dropped it to her lap and shook her head. ‘Just looking at your stereo and trying not to be too impressed.’

  Nico laughed in response and squeezed her knee as she pulled the seatbelt across her chest.

  ‘So, where are we going?’ she asked.

  He leaned forward and pointed out to the sky through the windscreen. ‘You see that?’

  ‘The moon?’ It was full and as clear as a light bulb, and she looked back at him in confusion.

  He nodded and slid the key into the ignition, quietly kicking the engine into life. ‘We’re going to follow it.’

  ‘We’re going to follow the moon?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you do know that the moon is in space?’

  ‘Ha, ha.’ He rolled his eyes and put the car into gear.

  ‘Are you serious? We’re really going to follow the moon?’ she asked, and he nodded again. ‘Until where?’

  He laughed again and shook his head. ‘Do you always need to know the answers to everything? I don’t know. Let’s just see where we end up.’

  It all sounded so silly that Laurel couldn’t stop herself from laughing too. Forget sneaking out and shimmying down the drainpipe, this was something else entirely. She’d never been invited to follow the moon before. It was a crazy but romantic idea and, after giving up her need to know where they were actually going, her only thought was, why not? As the car quietly moved down their street, she settled back into the comfortable leather seat.

  ‘So, how was the rest of your week?’ Nico asked.

  ‘It was good,’ she replied, going on to give him a brief overview of what she’d been up to since they’d spoken on the phone. She made sure not to give away the truth, which was that the week had dragged on endlessly. Even their phone call hadn’t helped. If anything, it had only made her yearning worse.

  She looked across at Nico as he drove, letting her eyes roam across the new stubble. It suited him. It made him look even more intriguing and rugged, with a little bit of danger thrown in for good measure.

  ‘My week was great too,’ he said, looking at her with a grin that was so wide it looked like it could leap from his face. ‘I went to look at a few more cars and I think I’ve found the perfect place for an office and showroom. I’m telling you, this time next year, I’ll be a self-made millionaire.’

  She hadn’t really known what to make of his grand plans at first. It all seemed so strange, walking out of his job to start his own business just like that. If she were honest, she’d thought that he might have been exaggerating. Not anymore. He was actually making it happen, just like he’d said he would. He was so full of enthusiasm, more than anyone else she’d ever met.

  ‘Have you been taking photos this week?’ he asked, and Laurel nodded.

  ‘Every day. I haven’t been able to stop.’

  Her camera was like a fifth limb at the best of times, but what Nico had said at the party, about her love of it being a good thing, had really motivated her. It had given her a much needed confidence boost and she’d eaten up rolls of film, taking pictures of everything and anything. She hoped to get one or two of him, too. It would be nice to have something to remind her of him during the week when he was back in London. All she had was the distant shot she’d taken of him through the window on the day his parents had moved in.

  ‘That’s good,’ he said. ‘You should always follow your passion.’

  His words bathed her with a warm glow and she smiled, looking out of the window. Why couldn’t her parents be like him? Instead of telling her it was a waste of time, why couldn’t they encourage her? Nico seemed to believe in her more than they did. She looked up at the moon, hovering in the sky right in front of them with a line of mauve cloud streaked across it. Instead of stamping all over her dreams, Nico was pushing her towards them. The world needed more people like him in it.

  He leaned over and clicked open the glove compartment. ‘Here, you can choose some music if you want.’

  Laurel reached inside and took out a stack of cassette tapes.

  ‘I was thinking,’ he said. ‘I’m going to need photos of my cars.’

  ‘What for?’ she asked, shuffling through the tapes.

  ‘Autotrader. It’s the best way to advertise and I need to have good pictures to make mine stand out. I reckon you could take some great ones.’

  ‘Me?’

  ‘Of course, you. Who else?’

  She stopped shuffling through the tapes. ‘But you’ve never even seen my photos before.’

  ‘I don’t have to. I bet you’re a great photographer.’

  The glow she’d felt earlier engulfed her and she looked down at the tapes in her hand. Thank god it was dark in the car so she could hide the furious blush on her cheeks.

  ‘You’re something else,’ she said quietly with a shake of her head.

  ‘So are you.’ He grinned.

  She suddenly felt shy as she slid the new Simple Minds cassette into the stereo. He’d told her that she was fascinating at Tom’s party and they’d had plenty to speak about on the phone, but her mind had started to play tricks on her aft
erwards. She’d questioned what he could possibly see in her. Why, out of all the women he could have, had he chosen her? Being cocooned in the intimate bubble of his car as they drove towards the moon made those doubts fall away. It felt like they were the only two people in the world, just like it had last week.

  ‘It means you’ll have to come to London, of course. It’ll be great. I can show you around and you can stay at mine. We’ll have fun.’

  He looked at her and smiled, and she had to put her hands in her lap and squeeze them together to stop herself from clapping with ecstatic happiness. He wanted her to visit him in London. Wait until George and Kim heard about this.

  It would be fantastic. He probably knew his way around the city with his eyes closed and instead of being one of the people she’d looked at enviously from the coach she’d been stuck in, she’d be one of them. They’d probably visit some galleries, go to a couple of restaurants and bars. Not only that, but she’d be staying with him as well. She pictured him living in a modern flat with a balcony that looked out onto the Thames. How great would it be to spend time in his flat, in his kitchen, on his sofa? She sneaked a look at him as he concentrated on the road ahead. Maybe in his bed, too. She pictured the two of them, wrapped up in sheets that carried the smell of him. The thought of it made her cheeks flush and she turned to look at the lights of Bristol growing ever closer beyond the windscreen.

  Nico put a hand on her knee and gave it a squeeze before looking at her. ‘We’ll have much more time together that way. Hey, you could even go to uni there, if you wanted to.’

  ‘I…what?’ She shook her head, confused. ‘Uni?’

  ‘Yeah, I thought about it a lot this week. I’ve really missed you and I know you’ve missed me. It makes sense, doesn’t it? You said yourself that you’d leave this place, given half the chance.’

  Well yes, she had said that, but it hadn’t been a hint and she hadn’t really meant anything by it. She hadn’t thought for one second that he’d taken it seriously, especially because they’d pretty much only just met when she’d said it.

  ‘Trust me, you’ll love it. This place is way too small for you. You deserve to be somewhere you can let your creativity shine, you know?’

  ‘Are you being serious?’

  He looked at her with a straight face. ‘I wouldn’t joke about something like this.’

  She put her knuckles to her mouth again and stared out of the windscreen. He couldn’t really mean it, surely? It was way too surreal.

  ‘I can’t just leave.’

  ‘Come on. Are you honestly telling me that you really want to study English at Bristol? Because I don’t think you do. I could tell by the way you spoke about it last week. Photography’s your passion, that’s what you should be doing. There are loads of great schools in London, you could have your pick. You could probably even start a course in September. I could help with the tuition fees, money isn’t a problem. Think about it, you could have the career you’ve always wanted in the best city in the world.’

  Laurel blinked, trying to slow his words down in order to make sense of them. It was as if someone had stuck a key in his back and wound him up. This had all come from nowhere and she had no idea how to respond, especially when he was grinning at her like that. He made it all sound so uncomplicated and easy, but it wasn’t, was it? She couldn’t just up and leave. What about her parents and George? She didn’t want to go to Bristol to study English, but what was to say that she’d be any better off studying photography? Right now, it was an attractive but forbidden dream. The reality might not suit her as much as she thought. She might be awful at it. She couldn’t believe she was about to admit it, but at least an English degree could be something practical. Laurel shook her head. They’d only known each other for a week. Even asking herself these questions was crazy. The whole idea was crazy.

  ‘I…this is just all a bit…’ She shook her head again, trying to find the right word. ‘I mean, we’ve only just met.’

  ‘So?’

  Nervous laughter bellowed from her mouth and she quickly clamped a hand over it. She didn’t want to seem like she was making fun of him. Was she being weird? She felt something for him, but surely this was moving much too fast?

  ‘Look,’ he said, looking at her briefly. ‘I don’t want to put pressure on you. I just want you to know how I feel. I don’t mess around with important stuff. It’s like I told you last week - I think you’re amazing and I’d hate to see you waste away in this place, that’s all. You should have everything you’ve ever wanted, and more.’

  Laurel looked out of the window, stunned. Who really just decided to ask someone they’d only just met to move to a new city with them? She didn’t even know if they were boyfriend and girlfriend yet. This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t be real. Maybe she’d actually fallen back asleep and this was all just some crazy, disorientating dream. If she pinched herself, she’d probably wake up in her room and open her eyes to see her familiar books and posters. She might, but she didn’t want to pinch herself to take the chance.

  ‘What do you say?’

  Laurel looked back at him and shook her head. ‘I think you’re nuts. We’ve only known each other for a week. You’re eight years older than me. My parents would go mad.’

  He grinned. ‘I know. It’s the stuff fairy tales are made from, isn’t it?’

  She laughed again, louder this time, and covered her face with her hands. Her head was spinning but she couldn’t stop her stomach from leaping with excitement at the mere possibility of it all. It was like Nico was on a different time plane altogether, shooting ahead at a thousand miles per hour. Her hands trembled as she took them away from her face and let herself imagine it, for just a second - studying photography in London, living with Nico as her boyfriend. He took a slip road onto the motorway and Laurel looked at the cars speeding past them. A blue sign pointing the way to London whizzed past overhead and she tried to imagine what it would be like, driving all the way to the Capital with Nico and her belongings in the boot of the car. Laurel shook her head again in disbelief but, as she turned to look out of the window, she didn’t even try to drop the grin from her face.

  The grass tickled the soles of Laurel’s feet as she looked down at the lights of the city below. They seemed so far away that it almost felt like they were viewing them from space.

  ‘I love city lights,’ Nico said. ‘Especially late at night.’

  Laurel nodded. ‘Me too.’

  From their vantage point, the orange lights of Bristol reminded her of a Christmas tree, twinkling with the promise of good things underneath. After driving for almost an hour, Nico had turned off the motorway and driven through country lanes, using only the moon for navigation. Eventually, he’d pulled over and they’d walked up to the top of this hill in the middle of nowhere. They were sat out in the open, surrounded but nothing by a few trees. Laurel had absolutely no idea where they were, or even if they were allowed to be there. For all she knew, they might have trespassed onto private land. Not that it would have mattered. As they’d trudged up the hill with the moon’s rays shining down on them, she’d had the feeling that Nico was like the Pied Piper of Hamelin and she was powerless to resist. And why would she want to? It was peaceful up here. The air was still and so quiet that she could hear the gentle sound of his breathing.

  ‘What would you have done if I hadn’t woken up earlier?’ she asked.

  ‘I’d have climbed up to your window.’

  Laurel snorted with laughter. ‘You’re bonkers.’

  ‘So you keep saying, but I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.’

  ‘Alice in Wonderland.’ She smiled at the quote. ‘It’s one of my favourite books.’

  ‘Mine too.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘You sound surprised,’ he replied with his mouth set into a mischievous smile under the moonlight.

  Laurel laughed shyly, hoping she hadn’t offended him. ‘I’m sorry. You just don’t seem
like someone who reads a lot.’

  Nico laughed back and reclined, resting on his elbows. ‘You’re right, I don’t read. I’m more of a film man, but my mum used to read that one to me all the time when I was a kid. The quote stuck in my head ever since.’

  ‘Are you close? With your parents, I mean.’

  ‘Close enough. We’re very different but, they’re my parents, and I’m the only kid they’ve got.’

  So far, Laurel’s contact with Stelios and Maria Papoulis had been limited to hellos and how-are-yous, but they seemed nice enough. They’d invited her to the opening of their restaurant in a few weeks’ time along with everyone else on their street, and she wondered what they’d have to say about their son getting involved with a seventeen-year-old. She thought about her mum and dad back at home, sleeping soundly after their weekly night out, blissfully unaware that their straight-A daughter had snuck out and was sitting in a field somewhere with an older man in the middle of the night.

  She sighed. ‘Sometimes I think mine don’t understand me at all.’

  ‘Well that’s parents all over, isn’t it?’ Nico laughed. ‘I’m pretty sure there’s a gene that kicks in when you have a kid that makes you completely unrelatable.’

  Laurel giggled too, holding the sound of their matched laughter close to her heart. She vowed never to forget how beautiful and yet how simple this moment was. There was no music, no booze, no nothing. Just the two of them sitting on a hill, looking down on a sea of lights and being bathed in the moon’s rays. It was so perfect that her chest felt like it was expanding, trying to take it all in and she had the feeling that this was all she would ever really need.

  ‘Do you think you’ll be the same when you have kids?’ she asked.

  He lifted his head. ‘No chance. It’s all about how you live your life, I reckon. My parents left Crete when they were young and they’ve had it tough. They’ve worked like donkeys to make ends meet and they think that’s all life is about. That’s why I want to make my money while I’m young. It frees up a lot of time for the good stuff, you know?’