La Strada Da Seguire: The Road to Follow

by Susan Toscan

  Alessandro was one of the CLN’s most senior and respected partisan scouts. The group’s leader took him to one side. “It’s up to you to set out a plan of the area around the house so that the men can be placed in the most strategic and effective strike points.”

  “Yes, sir. I’ll take a small group of men with me tonight, and then in the early daylight hours, we’ll be able to make our way around the perimeter of the farmyard.”

  “For God’s sake, make sure that you’re not seen,” the leader said. “It’s possible that there’ll be German lookouts keeping watch.”

  The scouting party was successful. The scouts had to be very quick, but Alessandro was able to make a sketch of the area and work out the distance between the house and the fences. From that, he could calculate how close the marksmen—including himself—would need to be to achieve the maximum impact with the limited amount of ammunition that they had.

  On his return, Alessandro reported his findings to the leader. “The farmhouse is set in open land, with the forest quite close to the fence line. The forest will give us good cover as we surround the perimeter of the house. We will need more men, sir. We should get word to as many of our partisan groups as possible. I suggest that the farmer tell the German officers that he will need assistance from two young men to help with the preparation of the house and meals. That way, we could get at least two of our men inside the house to set the fire when required.”

  When all parts of the plan were in place, the partisans rested as best they could; they cleaned their weapons and checked their ammunition supplies. They were all anxious to be done with this war and go back to their families. They had risked their lives countless times and had been through so much that they were beyond exhaustion. They certainly did not look forward to inflicting even further carnage, but the end was in sight. They really could not see the German soldiers as men anymore; the soldiers were just ­obstacles in the way of finally finishing this awful war.

  The day prior to the officers’ meeting at the farmhouse, each partisan rehearsed the details of where he had to be and what he had to do.

  Alessandro was aware of how desperately important this mission was, and he was feeling exhilarated for the first time in months. The prospect of the end being close gave him and his men the determination to get this right.

  When the day arrived, it was clear and sunny, the sort of day the fighters would have liked to be planning something normal, like an outing with loved ones—but that was not a reality yet.

  As darkness fell, the partisans made their way into the surrounding forest, moving as close to the farmhouse as was safe, and waited. The signal that was to alert the family of the impending danger was a case of homemade wine being dropped down the stairs by the young men who were in the house to help—hopefully creating enough noise and confusion to allow the family to escape quickly. It was also hoped that the smell of the wine would cover the smell of the fuel being used to start the fire. As soon as the family had left via the back door, the kitchen, which had already been soaked in fuel, was to be ignited.

  The countdown was now within an hour, and everyone was alert and ready. Alessandro had even allowed himself to think about his return to Cavaso. He was more than anxious about the job they had to do that night; he was actually afraid—but he was ready to go home. He often thought about Savina, as he did now. Would she still be there in the village? Would she still be his friend? She would be a woman now. Perhaps she had even married—though he hoped not. He had come to realise some time ago that he longed to see the woman that she would now be, not just the childhood friend that she had been when he left the village.

  Alessandro was aware of his men getting restless, and he brought himself back into the moment. When this night was over, there would be time enough to think about the future.

  Darkness had descended quickly. The only light was now coming from the windows of the house, twinkling in the mist of the evening. There was an eerie feeling in the air. No words were spoken now—just nods and slaps on the shoulders of friends and soulmates.

  The time arrived, and against the backdrop of the black night sky, the flames coming from the house could be seen clearly. The partisans took their ­positions around the perimeter of the farmhouse. It was not hard to get onto the grounds. The guards at the gate and back entrance had been dealt with quickly and quietly. Everything was happening very fast. It took only a few minutes for the rising flames and smoke to send the German soldiers running out of the farmhouse doors and climbing out the windows. The old house was burning. Not a shot had been fired, and the Germans were running in confused circles. The ­partisans opened fire on the soldiers.

  Alessandro was the lead marksman, and he responded to the command to fire as if he were in a trance. The sound of rifle fire echoed around the mountains that surrounded them. It somehow felt very surreal.

  When the guns fell silent, the only sound was the crackling of the old timber of the farmhouse as its interior burned to ashes, leaving the solid brick walls standing like a skeleton against the night sky.

  The partisans buried the soldiers in shallow graves in the forest and retreated to their base camp. Tomorrow they would have to get word to the Allied forces.

  Exhausted, the fighters gathered at the designated meeting place to wait until the adrenaline surging in their systems wore off. They hoped that they would not have to undertake such a raid, or take more lives, again. It was now time to turn their efforts to rebuilding rather than destruction. The partisans did not know what they were going to find when they returned to their respective villages. They knew that there was a lot of work to be done to restore dignity and at least some semblance of normal life to the country as a whole.

  The need to feel loved again

  Agnes felt that the years were slipping away. She was lonelier than she could ever remember being. The children were a constant delight to her, but deep inside, she was empty. She had accepted that Michael was lost. She still could not accept that he had died, but she knew that if he was not home by now, he was never coming home. Two years was a long time to be missing—it was now 1944. She knew something terrible had happened to him and believed that he must have somehow lost his memory. It made her overwhelmingly sad to think about what they had had together before Michael left for Tobruk: such a promising future, their beautiful children and the love that they shared. She did not understand how Michael could forget about how much he was loved. Nothing made sense to her anymore, but she could not keep hoping and praying that he would walk in the door. It was not fair to the children. Somehow she had to get on with her life.

  Brad had been visiting quite a bit over the past year. After their meeting in Sydney, he and Agnes continued to stay in touch. He had secured a job with the local council and moved back to Griffith. He told Agnes that he wanted to see more of her and give their relat­ionship a chance. His daughter Maddy was happy with her grandparents in Sydney, so he felt it was best to leave her with them until he was more settled.

  Brad had been having a very difficult time coping with his wife’s death, and he was considerate of the fact that Agnes was still grieving for Michael; he said that they had grief in common. It was an odd connection, but somehow Agnes felt reassured that he really did understand how she was feeling. He had left her no doubt that he wanted to be part of her life, but she still needed time.

  Just as she had when she was a teenager, Agnes still found Brad to be aloof and a little moody at certain moments. However, most of the time they were together, he made her feel special. Agnes was very lonely, and it was good to think that someone cared about her. Brad often bought her small gifts, and she found that she could laugh once more. They would go out for dinner occasionally, and in spite of her occas­ional misgivings, she did enjoy his company. He was witty and knowledgeable about current affairs and history. He challenged her to think about politics and have an opinion on world events. She liked the fact that he would discuss these things with her. It was go
od to feel that someone valued her opinion again.

  Many young men from Griffith had been killed in action, and the pain was felt throughout the area. The news that the end of the war was in sight was restoring confidence in the community.

  Women had taken up a lot of the jobs on the farms, and the region was doing very well. The wine industry had slowed considerably, but there was hope that once the war ended, the world would want high-quality wines again.

  It was early 1945 when Steven returned from New Guinea. He had been injured, but his injuries were not life threatening. He had obviously had some horrific experiences. He was very thin, and he became exhausted easily, but the family was keen to help him recover.

  Renata was thrilled to have her husband home. She fussed over him constantly, and between her and Maria, they set about feeding him up until he was back to his pre-war weight. Steven had spent the first few weeks back trying to find any information that might give a clue to Michael’s whereabouts. He could not believe that his friend had not returned to his family.

  Steven and Renata invited Agnes to their home, and Steven decided that it was time to tell Agnes all he knew about what had happened to Michael in Tobruk. He felt very anxious about having this discussion, and he certainly did not want the children to overhear the conversation. He knew that in time Agnes would tell them what she felt was appropriate.

  Agnes was pleased to receive her friends’ invitation. Steven had been home for almost a month, and apart from a brief meeting when he first arrived, she had not had time to talk to him at length.

  When Agnes arrived at their property, Renata led her out into the garden of their lovely home, where Steven was waiting for them. “I love what you have done out here, Renata. The shrubs have really grown so much since we planted them.” Agnes looked up from her walk through the garden to see Steven. He had tears in his eyes as she moved into his embrace. “So good to have you home, my friend,” Agnes said through her own tears.

  “Agnes, I cannot tell you how good it is to be home.” She noted that Steven looked much better than before, but she knew he had not yet returned to full health. “I often prayed that Michael would return during my absence,” Steven went on. “I can’t tell you how distressed I am to know that he did not.”

  He took Agnes by the hand and led her to the table that had been set for lunch. They were in the shade of a huge gum tree with a view of the extensive property. The expression on Steven’s face confirmed that this would be a serious discussion.

  “My dear, it’s time for me to tell you about what happened to Michael in Tobruk.” Steven noticed Agnes take a deep, shuddering breath, and he went on. “Some months prior to the end, Michael completely lost his confidence. The horrible conditions we lived in combined with the senselessness of the mission seemed to mess with his mind.”

  The tears fell unchecked down Agnes’s cheeks as she heard about the man she had loved so much becoming someone she hardly recognised in what Steven was telling her. She listened carefully, trying to understand the circumstances that had taken her husband from her and her children.

  “I can tell you, though, that he was the best soldier and his men respected him immensely. He was considerate of everyone who fought with him. I think the fact that we were fighting against Italian troops really threw him. I was aware that he was drinking very heavily, but we all drank. It was considered normal. He talked about you and the children constantly. Not a day went past that he did not think about you all and what you might be doing. He loved getting your letters and the photos that you sent. Like all of us, he couldn’t wait to get out of Tobruk, and he looked forward to coming home. It was all any of us wanted. At the end of the day, I still don’t understand what happened any more than you do.” Steven looked straight into Agnes’s eyes. “I promise that I won’t give up my efforts to find out as much as I can.”

  “Thank you, Steven. You and Renata have been a great support for the children and me. I know this is hard on you also.” Agnes knew that the couple were grieving the loss of a friend and business partner and were concerned about her and the children.

  She could tell that Steven was not sure that he had helped her, but at least he seemed to feel better that he had finally told her everything he could.

  “Agnes,” Steven said, “even though Renata and I will continue to run the business, we think it only fair that we give you a share of any profit that we make.”

  Agnes smiled through her tears. “I really appreciate your offer, both of you. Pay back the loans, and then we can discuss a split of the profits. But after that, you need to make this your business; you will be doing all the work. Michael would have wanted you to go on to make a success of what you started together.”

  “Michael would want me to look after you and the children, and that is how it will be. The business has a long way to go, but you will always be a silent partner, and I pray that one day it will help you financially.”

  Agnes did not continue to argue with him as she could see how determined he was. She did appreciate his concern for her future, and she knew that they would be able to work it all out in time. But in truth, her heart was not in the business. Without Michael, it did not interest her.

  When Renata finally spoke, it was on a different topic, and not a welcome one.

  She and Steven were not happy that Agnes was seeing Brad. Renata made it very clear that they did not trust him. “Agnes, I can’t help but bring this up. I know that it’s none of our business, but we have to look out for you and the kids, and Brad does not seem to be good for your family.” Agnes felt that Renata’s caring eyes were looking into her soul. “I know that you still love Michael. How can you move on with this man when you cannot give him your heart?”

  Agnes turned away so that Renata would not see her tears. She knew that in some ways what her friend said was true, but she also needed to feel loved again; she knew that she would love Brad in time. She knew that she could make it right. “Thank you for everything, Renata. I know that you and Steven are looking out for me, and I appreciate it, but I’m ready to move on with my life. Please give me your support in this.”

  Renata was not convinced, but she did not want to cause Agnes any further distress. She hugged her friend. “We’ll always be there for you and the children; just please promise me you’ll think carefully about any decisions regarding Brad.”

  Elsie and Joe agreed with Renata and Steven’s reservations about Brad, as did Maria and Frank. They all tried to talk to Agnes, who was becoming increasingly frustrated with everyone trying to tell her what was best for her family.

  “I will decide what is best for us. I know that you all worry about us, and I know that you love us, but I need a life. I am so sick of being by myself. The children are at school, and I have nothing. I work on the farm, and I go home to an empty bed. My life will never be the same without Michael, but I want some sense of a normal life.”

  She knew that her frustration upset everyone. Betty was the only one who seemed to understand. “Sis, I know that Brad can be difficult—he drives Sam crazy with his moodiness—but he’s a good person. I think that he really cares about you. He told me that he wants to have a life with you and the children. I can see how unhappy you are. I think you deserve to have some joy in your life again.”

  Agnes was finding it extremely difficult to help Frances understand her relationship with Brad. Her daughter was not happy. “You may have given up thinking Daddy’s coming home, but I haven’t. I don’t like Brad, and I don’t want him in our family. I hate you for doing this!”

  These types of conversations had become common between them. Agnes was at a loss as to how to make a 10-year-old understand her feelings. Patricia too was very withdrawn around Brad; Neil seemed to be the most at ease with him, and this gave Agnes hope that the girls would come around eventually.

  Good enough reasons

  News of Mussolini and Hitler’s deaths at the end of April 1945 was cause for great celebration in Griffi
th, especially among the Italian members of the community. The end of the war in Europe on 8 May followed quickly after these events, and joy and relief were apparent throughout the world.

  There was still worry about the war in the Pacific, however, as many Australian soldiers continued to fight Japanese soldiers in New Guinea. The elation of one war ending was overshadowed by the prospect of another war with no end in sight.

  In mid-May, Brad asked Agnes to a special dinner being held to celebrate VE Day. After watching a fireworks display, the two made their way to a local restaurant, which was decorated with streamers and balloons. The festive feeling was contagious. During their meal, Brad went down on one knee in front of Agnes and proposed with everyone in the room applauding.

  Agnes was not surprised by the proposal, and she calmly answered, “Yes, Brad, I will marry you”. She had been thinking about this possibility—and her answer—for some time. She knew that she liked being with him, and she was getting used to his unusual personality. This would not be a passionate marriage, but it would be one of companionship and friendship. Agnes hoped that this would be good enough.

  Following the proposal, Brad gave Agnes a lovely engagement ring. She had never had an engagement ring from Michael—just her wedding ring, which she treasured. She now wore the wedding ring on her right hand, and although she knew this annoyed Brad, she could not part with it.

  Agnes had received permission to legally divorce Michael six months prior to the proposal. There was still no official statement from the army declaring that Michael had died—just confirmation that he was missing. Obtaining permission to end her first marriage had been a very hard thing to do, but if she wanted to get on with her life with the hope of another marriage, she had to go through this process.