The Darker Side of Trey Grey

by Tara Spears

  I shuffled onto the counter near the sink, leaning back against the upper cupboards while I set out to get stinking drunk.

  I was better than halfway through the bottle when I heard the small roar of appreciation, and knew Justin had finally made his appearance. He stepped into the kitchen, followed closely by an overly bronzed blond boy and a swarthy skinned emo chick.

  All my muscles seized at the sight of him. I would have chuckled then ravaged him if I wasn’t terrified of what might happen in the next few minutes. Black ultra-suede chaps hugged his legs, while a matching silky bikini worked overtime trying to contain his cock. The only other accoutrement he had was a thick gold chain nestled snugly around his neck. I wasn’t sure if he had dressed for me or the party, but either way, he was fucking sexy.

  His lips thinned, and he kept his sharp eyes on mine as he headed straight for me. Seeing where he was headed, the two admirers back-tracked out of the kitchen. He snaked his arms around my waist then buried his face in my crotch. I wasn’t sure if this was forgiveness or something else entirely. I ran my hands down his back, and he tensed. I hesitated, then his spine arched into my touch, and I released the breath I had been holding.

  We stayed like that for awhile. My hands touring the muscles in his back as he snuggled “IT” and rubbed his cheeks along my thighs.

  “Am I forgiven?” I whispered.

  He lifted his head slowly then looked at me through narrowed gold-fringed lids. His hands dug into my backside as he slid me forward. His chest expanded in long, deep breaths as a hand moved into my hair. He pulled my head down roughly.

  “If you ever do that again, we’re through.” Then his lips crashed into mine.

  I squeezed my eyes tight as I gripped his neck and jaw in my hands. Relief thundered through me. I kissed him like a ravenous beast, and based on the blinding need coursing through me, I think I was.

  Justin forced me away. “I mean it. I can’t go through that. I can’t... I was afraid to check... I thought you were dead.” His hands cinched down, one on my hip and one around the nape of my neck.

  “I’m sorry, so sorry, I forgot, I forgot, I can’t believe...” my voice cracked. I lowered my forehead to his and stared at his stormy blue eyes. “I need you,” I whispered.

  His forehead pushed against mine as his eyes closed. “I love you,” he said quietly. “Will you ever love me, Trey?”

  I couldn’t answer him. I wanted to, but the words wouldn’t come. They were stuck in my throat. He withdrew, his chin resting on his chest.

  “Maybe someday you will.” He took my hand, turned, and tugged me off the counter. I slid to the floor. “For now, I want to get drunk and fuck my boyfriend.”

  He turned his head, giving me a predacious look over his shoulder. I wasn’t sure I was in the mood but “IT” stiffened regardless.

  He saw my sulkiness and added, “Its okay. When you’re ready. Right now, I just want to be with you.” He smiled and I managed a rigid smile back.

  My mood began to lift as we packed up a paper bag to take to his studio. He told me it was an off limits location, belonging only to us. As I grabbed my smokes, Justin jokingly warned everyone not to wreck the house. Then we disappeared for the night.

  Inside his studio I set the bag down on his desk as Justin tossed the blankets on the daybed, then he was against my back swiftly undoing my jeans.

  It was a rough quick fuck that, I realized, we both needed in order to work out the last of our harbored unwanted anxieties. He pulled me down with him into the office chair, settling me in his lap so he could stay inside me while we came down from our euphoria.

  I leaned against his heaving chest as he held me, nuzzling my neck and shoulder.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmured against my ear.

  “For what? Fucking me?”

  I felt him smile against my skin. “No, I’ll never be sorry for that as long as you enjoy it. For treating you the way I did.” He kissed the hollow below my ear then sighed. “I’m not very good at relationships.”

  I snorted trying not to laugh. “Sorry, I know you’ve been hurt. That just struck me as funny considering who you said it to.”

  “I suppose it is funny.” He shook his head slightly. “My one relationship was a travesty. After that, I didn’t want anyone, so it was a non-issue.”

  I laid my head back on his shoulder as I moved my feet onto the desk. “What happened?”

  “It was in high school. Before I was diagnosed... before I came out. I was the varsity quarterback for God sake. I couldn’t be gay, it was unnatural. I was in denial for a long time.”

  “Then you fell for a boy...”

  “Yeah, Alex. He swept in completely secure in his sexuality, and I fell hard. Even though I made him keep our relationship a secret, a few people noticed. Unfortunately, he was using me.” He tensed beneath me. I twined my fingers through his and held his hand tight. He began shaking his head. “I went over to his house after a very sucky day, and caught him with someone else. He didn’t even have the decency to be embarrassed. Told me I was too needy, and a lousy lay. Dave, the guy he was with, laughed so hard he fell off the couch.”

  “Oh man, that sucks. If it makes you feel better, I think you’re a fabulous lay.”

  He chuckled. “I’ve had a lot of practice since then. When did you come out?”

  “When I was born. While all the little boys were teasing the little girls, and trying to see up their dresses, I was trying to accidentally rub against the little boys. One of my friends in grade school thought it was funny that I liked to look at his peter. He even let me touch it a few times. It was heaven.” I grinned at the memory while Justin laughed.

  His laughter was cut short as he became solemn. “Then Willie came,” he said sourly.

  I nodded. “Yeah.”

  Justin’s arms snuggled around me and I smiled despite myself.

  “And then you came along,” I told him.

  “And you.” He kissed my cheek then my temple.

  After we had consumed some food, and much alcohol, we cuddled up on the daybed, and began lazily making out.

  “What do you like?” he asked. I stared at him confused and he elaborated. “Is there anything that drives you crazy?”

  I smirked. “You.”

  He gave me an exasperated look. “I’m serious. I want to know what drives you nuts.”

  “You. You drive me nuts,” I said, and he sighed under me. “Justin.” I shook my head as I settled between his legs. “Until I met you, nothing excited me. Sex was nothing. I never really wanted anyone. Wanting— hell— needing you is all new to me... and very confusing.”

  His eyes brightened, and I could see the enlightened expression dawning across his face.

  “I don’t know what I like,” I said softly, running my fingers along his collarbone. “Actually, that’s not true. I like touching you, I like waking up next to you and knowing who you are, and where I am. I miss you when you’re not there, and I love that you take care of me without pitying me. And I hate that I can’t spend every minute with you.”

  Justin cleared his throat as his eyes crinkled and blinked rapidly. A tear escaped down his temple, and I wiped it off.

  I gave him a cocky grin. “It kinda sounds like I love you doesn’t it?” I dipped down, kissing the quiver from his lips. His hand dug into the small of my back and his nails pinched my skin, sending sparks up my back. I gasped, and Justin loosened his hand then ran his nails roughly up my spine, making me tremble and sigh.

  He sniffed then chuckled. “I think someone has a pain fetish.”

  I shook my head at him. No way— his nails scratched around my ribcage then he pinched my nipple hard. A shower of tingles littered my chest and I moaned unknowingly. Fuck. I had a pain fetish. At least under Justin’s tutelage I seemed too. Without my permission, my body twisted, pushing against his hands, wanting more.

  He obliged me. Exploring, pinching, sucking and biting until I let out a broken groan, explod
ing into a mind-altering orgasm without him having to touch “IT” once. My body quaked as every pinch and bite burned deliciously. Justin kissed over every mark gently as I struggled to stay in this wondrous numbed state.

  He slid up next to me, resting on his elbow while he ran his fingers through my hair.

  “Shit,” I mumbled, surprised I could like pain, and deeply shocked I was still craving more.

  He stared at me as his fingers continued to play in my hair. I didn’t want him to stop, and closed my eyes so I could concentrate on the weightless feeling of my body.

  “Trey, I... I, um, think you might need this,” he breathed out. “Ernie works part-time as a professional Dom and—”

  I shook my head slightly. “No. No bondage.”

  “That’s not where I was going. He could teach me what you desire— what you need.” He ran his fingers down the nape of my neck then pinched. I sighed as the numbness spread across my shoulders. I’d never felt like this before, and I could feel the addiction sinking in. It was the weirdest thing to feel completely safe and relaxed in a pain infused fog, nevertheless I did. I really did, and I wanted to stay in here forever. Should that terrify me? Right now I couldn’t find the energy to care.

  “Okay,” I finally said.

  Justin moved down. I rolled onto my side to give him room as he pulled the frilly ivory coverlet over us. I had completely forgotten about the condom until Justin tugged it off. I was asleep before he settled against me.

  I opened my eyes to Justin stroking my thigh, and stretched the best I could without falling off the narrow daybed. I had to pee and I could tell “IT” was not going to cooperate in this venture. I sat up, making Justin grumble.

  “I have to pee, and you’re not helping matters.” I swatted his hand away, laughing.

  “You must have been dreaming about me again.” He chuckled seductively as his fingers teased my asscrack.

  “IT” tightened, and I stood up to get away from his probing fingers. Justin sighed, following me onto his feet. He grabbed my smokes from the desk before heading out the door. I stepped out behind him into a heavy cold rain.

  “Damn.” I huddled against the building next to Justin, taking one of the smokes he had lit. “You’re not going to start smoking again are you? I don’t want to be a bad influence,” I said, then laughed silently, realizing I probably already was.“No... I don’t know, maybe.” He glanced at me then reached out and ran his fingers over my chest. I looked down and saw the slightly bruised marks he had left across my pecs.

  “Is it weird that I like seeing these on you?” he asked as he watched himself stroke the spots.

  “Maybe, I don’t mind them though.” I took a pull on my smoke, closing my eyes over the tingle his thumb caused as it pushed into a bite mark around my left nipple. I felt the warmth of his body as his lips brushed over mine.

  “Is it crazy that I like it so much?” I asked, staring imploringly into his warm eyes. My reaction of earlier was beginning to bother me. After everything I had been through, how... why... I was having a hard time accepting the odd discovery.

  He stepped back and took a draw on his smoke. “I’m sure your therapist will think so. I saw how you reacted though.” He glanced at me with suddenly sultry eyes. “It was hellaciously erotic. Your whole body would tremble, then every muscle relaxed the second I let go. You kept going deeper and deeper.” He smiled. “I’ve never seen anyone enjoy something so much.”

  His voice, his words, the way he was looking at me, made me self-conscious. Even though I had never been shy, I felt naked, and wanted to cover myself up. I realized it wasn’t my body that felt exposed, but my soul. I had discovered something truly bizarre about myself tonight, something even I didn’t know, and it had left me raw.

  I knew having a pain fetish wasn’t bizarre in and of itself. There were tons of people out there who craved pain, but I had lived through excruciating pain, and never known I hungered for it so completely. That was the strange part. I wondered what that said about me as a person.

  Justin finished his smoke then darted towards the garden. I took one last drag as I dashed through the rain to the large fir several feet off to the side of the building. An effeminate wail pierced through the night, and I looked towards the source. I squinted trying to see exactly what was going on. Two figures were fucking on the hood of a newer dark-colored Charger in the pouring rain. The wail came again and I recognized Garret, naked and belly down on the hood. It looked like he was being forced by a rather large black man.

  “Justin!” I called in a low tone, shaking “IT” off.

  “What?” He trotted over with his head ducked against the constant drizzle.

  “Is that trouble?” I pointed towards the scene.

  Justin glanced where I indicated, just as Garret began crying in earnest, and he laughed. “No. Well, maybe for Kip. Garret’s wanted him for— God, a year at least. Kip’s quiet during sex, and as you can see Garret is very loud if he’s having a good time.” He glanced at me. “And if he has a really good time, he becomes the guy’s new puppy, following him everywhere.”

  I bit my lip to keep from laughing. “That explains it.”

  “Explains what?”

  “Why he’s so enamored with you. He offered to be our houseboy.”

  “You said no, didn’t you?” Justin said despairingly.

  “Um, but he’s so cute... I just... well...”

  Justin’s face was growing more and more terrified.

  “Of course I said no.” I laughed.

  He glared at me then shook his head. “Don’t even joke. One of us would wake up with the hussy trying to impale himself on our morning wood.” He tweaked his nose up. “Every morning.”

  I glanced purposefully down at Justin’s cock. “Can you blame him?”

  Justin drove his eyes down my stomach, smiling rakishly. “Not one bit. Why are we still in the fucking rain?”

  We went back inside, and Justin hit the stereo remote. I chuckled as Enigma crooned into the studio.

  I raised my eyebrows. “Really?”

  He shrugged as he sauntered up to me. “It puts me in the right frame of mind when I paint nudes.” He took my hand, wrapping his other arm around my waist. Our damp skin met as he spun me around. I stumbled, and laughed.

  “I’m not a very good slow dancer unless I’m really drunk... actually not even then.”

  “I won’t let you fall as long as you let me lead.”

  I relaxed against his wet skin, and let him do just that. He was a good dancer and didn’t even drop me when he dipped me, despite the fact I was laughing uncontrollably. We waltzed around the easels, tangoed next to the desk, and he even tried a samba, which had us both laughing until we were breathless when he fumbled the steps.

  He snubbed me against him and stared into my face, his eyes lively pools of Caribbean blue. “Make love to me, Trey.”

  I wasn’t sure why that small phrase swept me away, but it always did. I was hurtling along on a river of desire as I led Justin to the daybed, and I fully intended to take him with me.

  The sensual trip exhausted us both, and we collapsed into a heap of satisfaction.

  * * * * *

  My lids lifted, and it took me all of three seconds to recognize the room bathed in glorious sunshine. I was wedged against the metal back as Justin sprawled over two-thirds of the narrow bed. My eyes traveled down his golden body, over erect nipples surrounded by goose bumps, down his taut stomach to his rigid cock nestled against tawny curls. My mouth watered, and I grinned at the instant reaction.

  I didn’t itch, I wasn’t shaking, and my mind was in a bright place. I wanted a shower, but it wasn’t all consuming. I found myself wanting to give Justin a blow job a great deal more. The shower could wait. I giggled, feeling the enormity of the moment. I wasn’t sure if this was a breakthrough, or just a reprieve, but I wasn’t about to over analyze it. I was going to damn well enjoy it.

  I retrieved a condom from the ledge
over my head. Justin remained asleep for a good minute as I worked his dick.

  His hands seized my head. “Ah, Jesus.”

  I slid my mouth off him. “Good morning.” I grinned at his shocked, flushed face.

  “Mmm, good.” His hands loosened their grip as his eyes closed, and I went back to honoring him.

  This was the first time my mouth had been around him, and my expertise sent Justin over the edge quickly on a muttered stream of surprised obscenities. I pulled off his condom, tied it, then set it with the others on the floor without even a thought. That is, until I was wiping off his prick with one of the hand towels and he shuddered as a tiny spurt creamed his cockhead. I stared at the ivory liquid, both appalled and amazed, before wiping it off.

  My mind rattled. What are you doing?

  Shut the fuck up. I’m feeling normal.

  I bent down and kissed up the inside of his thigh then buried my face into his tight curls, breathing in the musky scent of him. My tongue escaped and swathed over his sac, tasting the tang of sweat and sex. Justin inhaled sharply as I exhaled a sigh. I paused, waiting for a reaction to my bold egression. I reacted, but not in the way I expected. “IT” jerked, my body ignited, and my breathing quickened.

  I crawled up Justin and settled on his chest. He looked up at me, concern etching his features. I smiled softly down at him, and soon a musing smile pushed the worry from his face. I traced his lips, cheeks, brow, feeling the veneration I had for him through my fingertips. No... It wasn’t veneration or need or even lust.

  “I love you.”

  He blinked as his arms crushed me against him. “It’s about fucking time...” He swallowed hard. “I love you too.”

  Excerpt from; Trey Grey Out of the Dark

  Justin and I entered the house clutching a blanket around us. The house stank of stale alcohol, old sex, and weed. We both groaned when we saw the kitchen. Ernie had cleared out most of the alcohol, leaving a bottle of Jim Beam and a bottle of Ciroc next to the coffee maker.

  But the place was a mess. Mud all over the floor, and nobody had removed the trash. Solo cups and empty bottles littered every flat surface. Was that? Okay, not looking at the condom on the table. Was it so fucking hard to put it in the wastebasket a few feet away?