The Vampire of Downing Street and Other Stories

by Amy Cross

  “So they killed your dad and your sister,” Frank says after a moment, “and they killed everyone else they came across.”

  He pauses, eyeing me with a hint of disgust.

  “But now you're living here with two of them, all cozy and pally?”

  “No!” I say firmly. “It's not like that!”

  “Then what's it like?”

  I peer out across the yard again, but there's still no sign of Friendly or Meanie. They must be in the house.

  “The creature that killed my family went away,” I say finally, turning back to Frank. “I was going to fight back. I was going to come up with a plan, and then it just... left. The ones here aren't the same ones. These ones came later.”

  “So what about the -”

  “I'd already buried Dad and Debbie by then,” I continue. “When the two new creatures arrived, I was terrified. I hid. One of them found me, and I swear it was about to kill me when the other creature stopped it. I don't know why, but one of the creatures just seemed to want me alive. It was almost like they argued over me for a while.”

  “That doesn't make sense.”

  “It's what happened!”

  He stares at me for a moment.

  “So I was right,” he mutters cautiously. “You really are a pet.”

  I shake my head.

  “No?” he continues. “Seems to me that you're quite happy to live alongside these things, even though they killed your family!”

  “That's not true!”

  “You just admitted it.”

  “These aren't the creatures that killed my family!” I say firmly, feeling a rush of anger in my chest. “If one of them was that creature, don't you think I'd have done anything in my power to make it pay?”

  “I don't know. Would you?”

  “If I saw that creature again -”

  “They all look the goddamn same,” he replies. “Big, ugly, angry and filled with hate. How do you even tell one from another?”

  “These two aren't the ones who killed my family,” I tell him again, “and one of them seems to...”

  My voice trails off, and I can't help thinking that he's never going to understand. Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm just a coward, and I've rationalized my cowardice as pragmatism.

  “It's not the same creatures,” I stammer, as much to convince myself as to make him see the truth. “It's two different creature, and...”

  Again, I can't quite find the words. I've had this argument with myself so many times, thrashing it out in my head, but suddenly I can't explain myself to another human being.

  “I get it,” Frank says after a moment. “You're scared. You were alone when the shit hit the fan, and you didn't know what to do, so you took whatever option kept you alive. You let these things take you in, you ignored what they are and you kept yourself going. But things have changed now, Rachel.” Reaching out, he places a hand on my knee. “You're not alone anymore. And we're gonna be smart about it, but we're gonna kill these two monsters and then we're gonna start taking our world back. Piece by piece.”

  I open my mouth to tell him we can't hope to fight back, but I can't get the words out. Instead I stare at him, and I can already see from the look in his eyes that he's got a plan. And he expects me to help him.

  Three

  Suddenly letting out a roar that rattles the windows, Meanie turns and swings an arm across the kitchen. I manage to duck down just in time as the arm hits the wall, and for a moment the entire house shudders as more plaster rains down from the cracked ceiling.

  Looking up, I see one of Meanie's large eyes narrowing slightly as he stares straight at me.

  “Don't hurt me,” I sob, “please...”

  He roars again, and this time I can see rows and rows of needle-like teeth sliding out from his thick pink gums. I see his tongue too, flicking and twitching as it curls out from his mouth. Splattered saliva falls all around me, and on my face too, and I instinctively turn away. The stench is hideous.

  “Please don't kill me,” I whimper, unable to keep myself from shivering as pure fear grips my body. “Please, please...”

  A moment later, Friendly lumbers into the room and lets out a louder, slightly more high-pitched roar, and this seems to settle Meanie a little. I have no idea how their communication system works, but this isn't the first time that Friendly has seemingly reined Meanie in. If it wasn't for Friendly, Meanie would have killed me long ago.

  I stay on the floor for a moment, before moving back a little on my haunches and then slowly getting to my feet. I'm poised to duck again in case Meanie makes another sudden move, but for now he seems a little calmer. He even turns and stomps back out into the hallway, leaving me to take a deep breath as Friendly towers above me. Whatever just happened between these two creatures, it's clear that Friendly won out.

  Sometimes, I think Meanie's 'accidental' moments of violence aren't so accidental at all. Sometimes I think he's trying to kill me in a way that won't look deliberate.

  Friendly lets out a low, mournful wail. Looking up at him, I see his eyes staring at me, and I watch as his lips twitch slightly, revealing a row of sharp, glistening teeth. I can smell the foul saliva from here, although I'm always careful to keep from looking disgusted. I don't know if it's possible to offend these creatures, but I really don't want to find out the hard way. I'm pretty sure Friendly just saved my life again.

  “Thanks,” I say, forcing a smile.

  Does a smile even mean anything to them?

  Friendly continues to watch me for a moment, before starting a series of stuttering sounds that seem to be coming from the back of his throat. I have no idea what any of these sounds mean, although I've tried so hard to get a hang of their language. They definitely talk to one another, and there have been nights when I've spent hours and hours just listening to them and trying to pick out repeated sounds, but I've never managed to get anywhere. Even now, as Friendly leans closer to me and I almost retch thanks to the foul smell, I'm not entirely sure what's happening.

  And that deep, guttural clicking sound continues.

  Finally I glance at the window. I can see the woodshed from here, and I know Frank is still in there, still working on his plan. Deep down, I'm worried that Friendly has a strong sense of smell, and that he might be able to tell that I've been talking to another human. In fact, I can barely believe that he doesn't know. And if he thinks I've been deceiving him, I might be punished.

  I might be killed.

  Maybe that's why Meanie was so mad.

  A moment later, however, Friendly leans past me and deposits another puddle of gray paste on the floor. I guess it's feeding time again, although I can't help noticing that there's quite a lot more paste this time, almost as if Friendly is trying to reward me for something. There's some kind of curly hair-like fiber in the paste, too, which is new.

  Friendly growls again.

  “Thank you,” I stammer, getting down onto my knees and starting to scoop some of the paste into my mouth with my bare hands. I know from experience that it's best to eat as soon as this stuff is offered to me.

  Once he's finished excreting the paste, Friendly turns and starts lumbering toward the door. I watch him for a moment, before figuring that maybe I should try something I've been planning for a while.

  “Do you understand me?” I ask.

  He stops in the doorway, and then he slowly turns and looks back at me.

  “Do you understand my language?” I continue, even though my voice is trembling slightly. “Do you understand anything I'm saying? Or even just my body language?”

  I wait, but Friendly is still just watching me. His thick-lidded eye watches me carefully, and I swear I can see some kind of deep intelligence in his gaze. I'm sure these things are intelligent; they have to be, or how would they have come here and taken over so fast?

  “Give me a sign,” I add. “Just one sign, so that I know.”

  I wait, but still there's nothing.

  “Okay,” I c
ontinue, smiling nervously, “I just -”

  Suddenly he lets out another low, guttural growl. I instinctively pull back, bumping against the kitchen cupboard and staring in horror as he comes back toward me. For a moment, deep in the pit of my belly, I'm scared that I might have gone too far and crossed some kind of line, or even that Friendly might be about to show me that he does understand. As he gets closer, towering above me once again, I feel my heart pounding in my chest. What if I've done something wrong? What if he's going to kill me?

  A moment later he leans down and excretes another puddle of the gray goo. I watch, shocked, and I can't help feeling that for some reason he seems to be rewarding me.

  Once he's done, he lets out another growl before turning and heading out into the hallway. I'm left on the floor, next to an unusually large pile of food, and after a few seconds I figure I should at least eat what I'm offered. This stuff might taste foul, but I can't deny that I always feel stronger and more alert after one of these meals.

  “You can't live like a pet,” I remember Frank saying to me earlier. “It's pathetic.”

  I guess he's right. I guess once he comes up with a plan, I'm going to have to help him.

  ***

  They're doing it again.

  I'm standing in the doorway, looking through to the front room where Friendly and Meanie are hunched staring at the floor. This ritual takes place fairly regularly, almost every day, and I used to think that it was some kind of meditation. I don't usually dare get too close, and I can see that their eyes are open, but I know from experience that they never seem to notice me at all when they're in this state. Some days they spend several hours in this position. It looks as if they're doing absolutely nothing at all, but I'm convinced there has to be some kind of deeper meaning.

  I just don't know what. To figure it out, I need to study them some more.

  Rain is still lashing down outside, and the sky is starting to darken. I know I should go out to see how Frank's doing, and take him something to eat, but I guess deep down I'm delaying that moment. He's just going to talk about fighting back, about trying to kill Friendly and Meanie, and I understand why he feels that way. Maybe I have allowed myself to become a little too comfortable here, too domesticated, but I can't help thinking that I might be able to achieve something more useful if I keep studying the creatures.

  If I'm able to figure out their language, or make them figure out mine, perhaps we can communicate. Perhaps I can talk to Friendly and Meanie, and I can get them to see that humans aren't just something to be exterminated.

  I can fix things.

  Besides, I'm certain Frank's plan won't work. Whatever he wants us to do, we'll just get ourselves killed, which seems like a waste.

  Just as I'm about to turn and head back to the kitchen, I spot something flickering on the floor between the two creatures. I hesitate for a moment, before stepping into the room and edging closer, and finally I see that there's what looks like a small coin with a series of flashing lights. I've spotted this thing before, and it seems to sometimes be the focus of the creatures' attention, although I've never figured out exactly what it is or what it's used for. Usually I tell myself to stop being too curious, but Frank's arrival has made me realize that I need to make progress in understanding the creatures. I need a breakthrough.

  After all, if I can understand them and communicate with them, I might be able to dissuade Frank from whatever he's planning.

  I step closer to Friendly and Meanie, much closer than I'd usually dare when they're being so quiet. So close that I can smell their saliva. The flashing coin isn't making any kind of sound at all, but the lights are flickering very rapidly, seemingly cycling through various colors. I can't even begin to imagine what this device is used for, or why Friendly and Meanie seem so dedicated to the idea of staring into the lights for several hours each day, but I figure that maybe this is important if I'm ever going to understand them.

  The lights have to mean something. The colors, the frequency, the intensity...

  It can't be random.

  I'm so wrapped up in my observation of the flickering coin, I don't even notice that I'm stepping closer and closer. Finally I'm standing right next to the two creatures, but I figure it's too late to back away now. Instead, I crouch down and peer at the coin, and for a few seconds I can't help but stare in awe at the beauty of the lights. There's definitely a pattern, even if everything's moving way too fast for me to pick out the details, and I feel more certain than ever that I can decipher the code if I just take a little longer. Maybe for some reason I'm the only person in the whole world who's able to get this close to the creatures.

  Maybe I can establish contact.

  Tilting my head, I continue to watch the lights.

  Maybe I can figure out their language and -

  Suddenly Meanie lets out a loud growl. I turn just in time to see that he's looking at me, but I'm too late to duck out of the way. He lunges straight at my chest, slamming me against the floor, and then he rears up and kicks me hard. He stamps his heel against my hip and I feel an immediate cracking sensation, and then I cry out in pain as he stamps again and again and again.

  I try to drag myself away, but I'm suddenly sent crashing into the wall. I try to get up and limp to the door, but the pain is too intense and I quickly drop down. I'm trembling with shock and I can't feel my legs.

  A moment later, Meanie grabs my by the arm and swings me around, throwing me clear through the air until I hit the ceiling. Slumping back down to the floor, I let out a pained gasp as I crumble against the wooden boards, and then I flinch as I hear Meanie slamming toward me.

  Too terrified to even think about fighting back, I curl into a ball and put my hands over my face.

  “Please don't hurt me!” I scream, as tears stream down my face. “I didn't mean to look! Please don't do it!”

  I flinch again as Meanie roars above me, and I feel a fine spray of foul saliva hitting my arms. I don't dare look, but I know he's close, and I think maybe this time I was too forward when I went to look at the coin.

  “Please,” I stammer, my voice trembling now as I wait for him to stamp on me again, “just -”

  Suddenly he grabs my foot and throws me against the opposite wall. I feel a sharp pain in my back as I slam to the floor, and then I see him already coming for me again. Screaming, I swing out of the way just in time, avoiding his leg as it smashes through the window. Glass shatters everywhere and I hear a cracking sound as if the wall itself has been damaged. Forcing myself up despite the pain in my hip, I limp toward the door, but a moment later something slices against my foot and I crumple back down against the bare floorboards. I can feel my legs again, and the agony is excruciating.

  Turning, I see Meanie swinging his arm toward me, and all I can do is cover my face. He hits me hard, crushing my fingers against my jaw. I pull my hands down, just as he hits me again, and then he strikes a third time as I slump back against the wall. I can taste a torrent of blood in my mouth, and I can feel broken teeth sticking to my tongue. I try to turn, but he hits me again, with such force that I feel the right side of my jaw break away.

  At the last moment, Friendly pushes Meanie's arm aside and then shoves him back, while growling loudly. Meanie returns the growl with one of his own, and for a moment the pair of them seem to be in some kind of standoff, with Meanie poised to come back at me.

  Still whimpering and sobbing on the floor, I prop myself on my elbows and start to pull away from them, but this only causes Meanie to let out another roar. Terrified, I freeze and wait, but Friendly is blocking Meanie's path, keeping him away from me. They seem to be arguing, and I can't help but notice that Meanie is the bigger of the two creatures right now, towering high toward the ceiling. Finally, however, he backs away, and Friendly turns to look down at me.

  With tears still running down my cheeks, I somehow manage to drag my battered body out of the room. I slump against the bottom of the stairs and start checking to see what'
s broken.

  Four

  “Are you still not ready to strike back at these things?” Frank mutters, as he chews on a chunk of bread. “Look at you, you've been beaten black and blue. How pathetic do you want to become, before you finally decide to fight?”

  With the pliers still in my mouth, I carefully squeeze the handle until I'm sure I've got a good hold on the damaged tooth. Ever since Meanie threw me into the wall, one of my incisors has been loose, and I figure it's best to just get the inevitable over with. Frank is watching me, and a moment later I let out a gasp of pain as I start twisting the tooth away from the gum. I swear, I actually hear a splitting sound.

  “Aren't you angry?” he asks. “Don't you have any sense of honor, or do you only care about staying alive?”

  I twist the tooth a little more, before realizing that there's no point being so slow Finally, I yank the tooth out with one quick move, and I immediately lean forward as I feel a burst of pain and blood in my mouth. Coughing slightly, I spit the blood out, and then I look at the tooth and see that it had a long, deep root.

  I lost eight teeth today, and the right side of my jaw is swollen purple, and there's a searing pain in my hip every time I try to walk. Apart from that, though, I seem to be okay.

  “I've started to come up with a plan,” Frank continues. “I think we have a shot at killing those two bastards.”

  “It was only one of them,” I splutter, as I feel more blood rushing into my mouth. I spit it out, but more is already coming again. “The other one saved me. Friendly stopped Meanie and -”

  “Friendly?” Frank replies, clearly shocked. “Meanie? You've actually given them names?”

  I spit out more blood, before grabbing a cup of water and rinsing my mouth. It won't do much good, but I hate the taste of blood.