Wrong Kind of Love

by Amanda Heath

  Jaden grips his chin and shifts his eyes between us. His eyes are calculating and I don’t like it. He is about to drop a bomb on us. And I know the results aren’t going to be pretty. “Funny thing you calling her Grace, I’m pretty sure her name is Kayla. Or at least that’s what Aiden told me.” Jaden grins at our shocked faces. “Yeah I hang out with your brother a lot. He got drunk one night and told me everything.”

  “I’m going to fucking kill him.” Kayla mutters besides me. I place my hand over hers and squeeze. “Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”

  Jaden shrugs. “It was never the right time. I thought you were over this jackass.” He says waving in my direction. “I figured if you really wanted to tell me then you would. I started to have real feelings for you. I didn’t want to push you.”

  I roll my eyes. “No you were going to use it for black mail when you found out about us.” Like I’ve been saying, I know my brother. He either knew about us or he suspected.

  Jaden glares at me. “I’m not going to use it for black mail you asshole. I said I had real feelings for Grace, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.” He shifts his gaze over to Kayla and drops the glare. “I’m not saying I’m in love with you or anything. I doubt I could ever love anyone the way I love Ava. You’re just the first girl I could stand to be around. You don’t laugh and giggle at everything I say. You don’t look at me with dollar signs or fame in your eyes. It was refreshing.”

  “Well then I’m sorry we are doing this to you. I just can’t pretend anymore. I want to be with Caden. I have real feelings for you to but they couldn’t compare for the way I feel about Caden.” She says softly looking over at me. Her eyes look a little watery. If she starts crying I’m punching Jaden.

  Jaden sighs before scrubbing his hand over his face. “I was hoping you would do the wrong thing and see him behind my back. At least then I could say I didn’t know and people would give me sympathy.”

  I glare at his stupid dark head. “Yeah and make us look like assholes. Real smooth Jaden. You know neither one of us is like that.”

  “Well hell Caden! You slept with her at Thanksgiving and neither one of you told me about it. I fucking heard you talking.”

  “Then why didn’t you say anything?” Kayla asks leaning closer in Jaden’s direction. I place my hand on her elbow and pull her back into my chest.

  “Because I heard you turn him down. I figured you were trying to get him out of your system. I didn’t realize ‘til later that you couldn’t get each other out of your system.” He sits back in his chair and closes his eyes. “I go to the gallery Caden puts his painting in sometimes. Caden moved out and I missed him. When I saw those paintings of you, Grace, I knew right then and there. Caden would never get over you.”

  “How the hell did you even know who it was?” I question.

  Jaden opens his eyes. “I may not have ever had sex with Grace, but I know what she looks like naked. We have gotten pretty hot and heavy before.” He smirks.

  I feel Kayla tense against me and I don’t even think as I get up. “Excuse me?” I growl down at her.

  “I told you we never had sex…I just left out the part where we made out intensely a few times.” Her cheeks flush and I know right then and there. Jaden is about to die.

  “You knew I wanted her, you knew I couldn’t let her go. But you still tried to take her away from me. I can’t fucking believe this Jaden. We are supposed to be brothers. You weren’t supposed to go after her. We were supposed to both leave her alone.” I shove him back when he gets up off his chair and gets in my face.

  “Like you could have really stayed away from her? What’s it feel like? Hmm? To have her taken from you? Bet it fucking hurt didn’t it!” he screams coming at me again.

  All the anger leaves my body. “I didn’t take Ava though. I had nothing to do with that. Why take it out on me? Why put an innocent girl in this? That’s pretty sick Jaden.” I whisper. It all makes sense now. All Jaden wanted was for someone to see him hurting. This was the wrong way to go about it. I walk right up to him and put my face in his. “Kayla is mine. You stay the fuck away from her. I will kill you if you touch her again. I’m sorry about Ava but that’s not my problem. If you wanted to talk about it, then you should have. You fucking kept it to yourself and now look what you’ve done.” The venom in my voice is dripping. Jaden cringes and I hear Kayla gasp.

  “I’m done with both of you. I’m not some fucking possession you too can fight over. I’m a fucking person, and I don’t deserve to be played this way. You can both go to fucking hell.” We both turn to watch her get up off the couch. She stomps to the front door and slams it shut on the way out.

  I start to go after her when Jaden grabs my arm. “Don’t. She needs to calm down first.”

  Yeah but will she ever calm down?

  I’m so pissed I can’t even see straight. I can’t believe that Aiden told Jaden everything. I mean what the hell? I felt bad for telling Caden everything, but did he really have to get drunk and tell Jaden? At least I know Caden wouldn’t tell anyone. Jaden most days is a good guy, but if you piss him off the right way, he can turn on you. Had I known he knew about my past, I wouldn’t have brought Caden over today to break up with him.

  And what the hell was with the pissing contest? I’m not some object that either of them own. I’m a freaking person and I have rights too. Just when I thought Caden could be the one, he goes and treats me like this. I can’t stand to be treated that way. It’s stupid.

  I make my way to my brother’s apartment. Luckily it’s right here near Jaden’s. He better be here. I don’t feel like tracking him down. I’m so beyond pissed, he will probably get kicked in the junk the second he opens the door.

  When I make it to his door I bang as loudly as possible. It’s a couple of minutes before he answers the door. When he does I can see it in his face that he knows that I know. “What the fuck?!” I scream at him pushing him into the apartment and slamming the door.

  He scrubs a hand down his face and makes his way over to his couch. “I’m sorry. I get chatty when I’m drunk and he kept asking questions about you. At the time it felt good to get it off my chest. Now I know what a huge mistake I made.”

  I feel my anger leave as I see the guilt and worry cross his face. I sigh as I sit down next to him on the couch. “Okay. Lets just make it through this semester and we can move on. I’m pretty much done with this place anyway.”

  Aiden looks shocked for a second before he speaks. “What about Caden? I know you love him.”

  I look down at the coffee table before I reply. “I don’t love him. I have strong feelings for him, but it’s not love. At least not yet. And it won’t ever be.” I lay back until my head hits the back of the couch. “He proves time and time again that he isn’t worth it. You know I took him over to Jaden’s today to break up with Jaden in person. They had a huge fight about it. Caden kept talking about me like I’m a possession or something. Like he fucking owns me. No one fucking owns me.” I growl slamming my hands down on my thighs.

  Aiden chuckles next to me before he grabs my hands up in his. “I don’t think he actually sees you as a possession. I think it’s more he wants his brother to understand he’s serious about you. I know you thought Jaden would give you up easy because he was with you as a front. Now it’s not true. He actually has feelings for you. You hurt his feelings when you went behind his back and slept with his brother.”

  I nod. “I know you’re right about Jaden at least. Caden on the other had is all caveman and I don’t want a fucking caveman. I want a good guy who treats me with respect and not like he owns me. I stopped wanting bad boys after Justin. I don’t know what’s wrong with me now.”

  “You want Caden because something inside of him speaks to something inside of you. Honey you can fight it all you want but there is nothing you can do to fix that. Our souls and bodies want what they want. Yours wants Caden.” He stares at me hard after that making me cringe. “You keep figh
ting him because you know one day you’ll have to run and he can’t come with you. You are trying to save yourself and him the hurt. I know you little sister. I know what makes you tick and why you do things. You’re going to have to learn that life is pain and misery. Ours is anyway.”

  I sigh and sit up on the couch looking at Aiden. My perfect older brother. The one person that was there for me my entire life. I know I should listen to him. I know I should listen to my heart but my head is taking control. If I stay with Caden I’ll end up hurting him. I’ll end up hurting myself. It’s that simple. I have got to stop this with him and move on.

  I don’t need to stay with Jaden either. I need to leave anyone with the last name Harper alone. I know what I have to do.

  I pick up my bag, which I left by the front door. I fish around for my cell phone, which is lying on the bottom. Before I can stop myself I dial Caden. He answers on the third ring. “I’m sorry Kayla. I didn’t mean to sound like such a fucking caveman.”

  I take a deep breath before I put our doomed relationship to sleep. “I don’t think we should see each other anymore, Caden. I’m sorry if I lead you on, but I just can’t be with you.”

  The silence is telling on his end of the phone. “Look I know you are probably going to be mad, but really this is for the best. In the end we would have only hurt each other. This saves us all the drama and stuff.”

  “Kayla. You can run and you can hide. You can do whatever the fuck you want but I will always be here waiting for you. I will always want you. Nothing you do or say could change that. If you need more convincing then I will show you more. I will do a whole lot more if that is what you need. I won’t let you go this easily. I know you thought I would, but you aren’t some fling to me. You are the real fucking deal and I will fight to keep you. I know I reacted badly back at the apartment, but I can’t stand for my brother to think he is better than everyone else. I can’t stand for him to think he had your heart at all because I know. I know who your heart belongs too. It belongs-“

  I hang up the phone before he could say it. I can’t hear those worlds. I can’t hear him say my heart belongs to him because that would make it true. I don’t want him to own my heart. I have been under the rule of a man most of my life and I can’t be under another. Even if the situations are different.

  “I need to tell you something.” Aiden says softly behind me.

  My palms grow sweaty and my breathing gets erratic. If he tells me Daniel is close to finding us, then I will pass out. “What?” I whisper.

  Aiden clears his throat looking away from me. “I don’t know how he did it but Justin is close to finding us. I check my old email sometimes and yesterday there was one from him. It was short. Just an address and a time. I looked up the place and it’s a couple of hours away. I don’t know how he got so close, but if Daniel is watching him then we are caught.”

  “It was me.” I blurt. Aiden’s eyes get wide and he shifts around on the couch. “I called him a few months ago. I used a disposable phone but I guess he tracked the number. I never thought he would come here to find us.” This is bad and I mean BAD. I know Daniel, and he would follow Justin here. He knows where our father lives and he would track the closeness.

  “Fuck Kayla! Why the hell would you do that?” Aiden growls at me. There are only a few times in my life Aiden has gotten mad at me. I hate it when he’s mad and most importantly when he’s mad at me.

  “I was missing him. He was my normal, you know? The only thing in my life that was mine. Ever since we came here, I felt out of place and stuff. I just wanted to hear his voice and let him know we were okay.” Justin is about to ruin everything.

  “You better fucking fix this.” Aiden says getting up off the couch and striding into his room. He doesn’t slam the door, which means he is super pissed.

  I make my way through the hole in the wall diner in the middle of nowhere. I don’t see Justin yet, but I don’t plan on staying until he gets here. I made sure there was no one outside watching the building before I entered. I scribbled out a note for Justin before I got out of my car. The email he sent Aiden said the far corner. I place the folded up note in-between the salt and peppershakers.

  Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I exit the building as quickly as possible. I make it to my car and sit and wait. My windows are tinted so no one can see inside. I plan to sit here until Justin gets here and well after he leaves. I want to see him and I know it would look suspicious if a seemingly empty car would just start up and leave the parking lot.

  Its 6:45 and Justin said to meet at 7:00. So I sit back and wait. Turns out I didn’t have to wait for long. A black mustang pulls into the parking lot and a familiar blonde head peeks up over the other cars. He is so handsome sometimes it hurts. His hair hangs down to his chin. I can’t see his eyes from this far away but I remember their beautiful green color. His body is still built and I know he probably still works out several times a week. His face is still the same too. All sharp points and shadows. Those full lips that can smirk at you and make you wet your panties.

  Then the comparing happens. His hair isn’t the right color. His eyes aren’t light blue. His face isn’t drop dead gorgeous like Caden. His body is smaller and less muscular then Caden’s. Damn I need to stop this shit.

  An expensive SUV pulls up after Justin has entered the diner. It parks back near the entrance to the parking lot. I know then with the chill bumps covering my skin that Daniel is in that car. He hopes to see me get out of my car and enter the diner. Does he really think I’m going to? Aiden and I are smarter than that.

  I watch Justin take his seat at the table where I left the note. A waitress comes over and I watch as he waves her away without ordering anything. It takes him five minutes before he opens the note. He reads it fast before crushing it in his hand. I see him look around the diner and then out in the parking lot. His eyes stop on the SUV and they narrow. He quickly turns away and slips some money onto the table.

  After he gets up to leave I think about what I wrote in that note.

  Justin,

  You made a mistake coming here. You need to go home and pretend you never met me. I’m sorry you got mixed up in this but it’s too late to stop anything. I’m gone and you need to live with that fact. I’m sorry if this hurts but it’s the truth. We can’t be together. Daniel is too dangerous. He is watching you right now. Forgive me please for getting you into this. I will always love you.

  Kayla

  I watch as he leaves the diner and gets into his mustang. He quickly pulls out of the lot and the SUV follows him. That’s when I make my escape.

  I pop Declan upside the head, getting his attention. “What?” He snaps. He’s been snapping a lot at everyone, even Marcus, who he’s never snapped at in his life.

  “I said what do you want for dinner? I can call for pizza, if you want.” I look at him hoping that he’ll say something other than what he says every day.

  He doesn’t. “I don’t fucking care,” He growls.

  “Fine, pizza it is. You got to let this shit go, man. I’m starting to wonder if I need to take you to the psych ward.” I lean my elbows on the counter top in the kitchen, scrubbing a hand down my face.

  “I don’t need the fucking psych ward. I need for everyone to leave me the fuck alone,” He snarls.

  “Chill the fuck out, Declan. If it wasn’t for me, you would have starved to death by now.” I stop as my phone rings. “What the hell? Hello?” I say into the receiver after answering. It’s fucking Teagan, the girl who hasn’t gotten out of bed for four months.

  “Hey Caden. I was just calling to talk.” She says softly into the phone. She sounds small and broken. Not like I fucking care at this point. Dec has been acting like a wild animal. She should have been the one taking care of him.

  “Well, you haven’t called me in months and I don’t really think I want to talk to you.” Declan lays his head on the table, listening to me talk to the person on the other end.

 
I’m sure at this point he has figured out who it is. “How…” she clears her throat like she hasn’t spoken in months. Which is pretty much true. “How is Declan? I miss him and you. I want to apologize for what happened.”

  “I’m going to tell you this once and once only. You stay the fuck away from him! Do you hear me? You have no idea what I have had to fucking do to keep him alive. I realize that what happened to you was devastating, but did you ever think it was to him, too?” I peek over at Dec and his face is turning green. He figured it out.

  “You’re right. It was devastating but I would still like to talk to him. I know what I did was wrong. I just want to make up for it.” She sobs into the phone.

  “I don’t give a fuck. It’s been months, months, Teagan, and you left him out to dry. He’s a mess and I’m still cleaning up after you.” I cringe after I say her name. Declan can’t handle hearing her name. I look over at him and see the tears falling. Fuck.

  I decide to hurt my sister. She should have thought about what she was doing and who she was hurting. “Do you want to know what he said to Jaden right before he went to see you in that room?”

  “Why are you doing this?” Teagan asks half pleading.

  I ignore her question. “He said he fucking loved you, Teagan, and then you put his heart through a blender for no god damn reason!” I yell at her and Declan flinches. I try to calm down my breathing after I hang up on her.

  “Why did she want to know about me?” He says in barely more than a whisper.

  I go over to the table and sit next to him. I lay my head next to his so he can see me while I talk to him. “She wanted to know how you were doing. She also asked if it was a good idea to come talk to you. I told her to go fuck herself. Well, I wish I had but she is my sister no matter what she’s done. She didn’t like that too much, but I don’t really care.” I roll my eyes and he actually makes a laughing sound. “Did you just laugh?” I ask, looking puzzled.