Legacy of the Watchers Series Boxed Set: Books 1-3

by Nancy Madore

  The doctor prescribed a sedative for emergencies and recommended a relaxation CD for Nadia to listen to at night. Not liking the idea of forcibly shutting down her brain with drugs, Nadia tried the CD first. It offered something called ‘guided imagery’ to help calm the mind, but Nadia’s mind was not so easily calmed. She found herself arguing with many of the affirmations on the CD. She was not necessarily ‘safe and secure,’ for example, and she certainly was not ‘in control.’ For a great many people out there, everything was not going to be ‘okay.’ The rising number of panic attack sufferers seemed to indicate that more and more people were realizing this.

  In spite of her pessimism, Nadia continued to listen to the affirmations because they did make her feel a little better. If nothing else, she found their gentle repetitiveness hypnotic and soothing—and conducive to sleep. In fact, she had yet to make it through the entire CD without drifting off. She slept fitfully, but at least she slept. Yet, with consciousness, the anxiety returned with a vengeance. It drained her of energy, often leaving her exhausted by noon.

  Smells from the breakfast buffet came wafting by but they didn’t rouse her. She remained where she was, sitting in her lounge chair on the beach, sipping coffee that had been spiked with Irish whiskey.

  “That’s one down!” announced Clive from behind her. His sudden presence nearly caused Nadia to jump out of her chair.

  “Damn, girl, you need to chill!” he said.

  “What do you think I was trying to do when you came sneaking up on me?” she snapped. She had to set her cup down, her hands were shaking so badly.

  “I could’ve been wearing a siren and you still wouldn’t have heard me coming,” he said. “What were you thinking about just then, anyway?”

  “I can’t remember,” she replied truthfully.

  Clive dragged a beach chair over and sat down next to her.

  “Did Sasha make it to the airport all right?” she asked.

  “No, I left her by the side of the road,” said Clive.

  “I wish she could’ve stayed a little longer,” Nadia sighed wistfully. “I really liked her.”

  “Some of us have to work for a living,” he reminded her.

  “And you two get along so well,” she continued, ignoring his remark. “You should marry her, Clive.”

  Clive snorted. “You didn’t even know she existed until a little over a week ago. Suddenly you’re ready to marry me off to her?”

  “I’m a good judge of character,” she said. “I could tell that she was perfect for you the minute I laid eyes on her.”

  Clive chuckled. “Was that before or after you picked your jaw up off the floor?”

  “Here we go,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I know you’ve been dying to say something this whole time so you might as well get it out of your system.” This light banter between friends was what Nadia liked best now. Just silly, harmless banter.

  “Yeah, well, you know; I just wanted to make sure you and I were cool,” said Clive, who was always ready for light banter. “‘Course I never thought about you that way—you’re way too high maintenance for me—but when I saw your expression when I showed up with Sasha on my arm…,” He sighed regretfully. “Sometimes I forget my power over women.”

  “Oh brother,” laughed Nadia. “You might recall that I had booked you a separate room?”

  “That don’t mean shit,” said Clive. “I know how you white chicks think.”

  “Oh?” inquired Nadia. “How do we white chicks think?”

  “You think us black guys have great big dicks that are just dying to get into some white pussy.”

  Nadia laughed.

  “Well you’re wrong!” he continued. “I prefer my women like I prefer my chocolate…sweet and dark.” He looked sideways at Nadia. “But you’re dead on about that big dick thing.”

  Nadia laughed again. “I’ll have to take your word for it.”

  “Damn right you will!” he said. “Don’t be getting any crazy ideas just ‘cause Sasha’s gone home early. That’s another misconception about us black guys—that we’re all dogs.”

  The smile remained on Nadia’s face long after her laughter died down. “Thanks for being such a good friend,” she said.

  Neither of them spoke for a minute.

  “You know I’m going to have to head back myself pretty soon,” he told her.

  “That’s a pity,” she replied.

  “What about you?” he persisted. “You gonna just sit here on this beach for the rest of your life?”

  Nadia shrugged. “Why not?”

  “You know why I think you chose me to come on this little trip with you?” asked Clive.

  Nadia groaned. “Not again.”

  “Seriously,” said Clive. “I think you chose me because you knew I’d only put up with so much of your shit.” Nadia turned to him in surprise but Clive didn’t back down. “Yeah,” he continued thoughtfully. “Will would have tried to control you—and probably smothered you in the process—and Gordon would’ve agreed to spend the rest of his life on this beach with you—provided he thought there was a chance he could get in your pants. But you knew that I would convince you to snap out of it.”

  “Oh?” she asked. “And just when did you do that?”

  “I’m doing it right now!” he said. “Look at yourself, Nadia. You’re acting like you’ve given up. I thought you had more backbone!”

  “Maybe I’m just not as callous as the rest of you,” she shot back. “Maybe I can’t get over millions of dead people just like that.” She snapped her fingers.

  “Don’t give me that!” he bit back. “If you really cared about those people you’d be trying to help the survivors. This isn’t about you caring. This is about you feeling sorry for yourself.”

  “I liked you better when Sasha was here,” she said. “At least then y—”

  “Look Nadia,” interrupted Clive, “there’s a time to grieve. And we’ve taken this little reprieve to mourn our losses. But this is life. It isn’t a fairy tale. There have always been wars, disasters and death, and there always will be. California is just one more casualty along the way.”

  Nadia gasped. “How can you say that?”

  “Because it’s true,” he said. “You’re upset because, this time, it happened to you. Same with nine-eleven. You know how many people in this world have died between nine-eleven and that quake in California? Where’s all your sympathy for them?”

  Nadia sputtered with indignation. “How dare you—”

  “Calm down,” said Clive. “I know it’s different when it’s this close to home.” He softened his tone somewhat as he added—“And I know you miss your father.” She lowered her eyes to hide the tears that immediately sprang forth at the mention of her father. “But this isn’t grief anymore, Nadia,” he said. “It’s depression. And I don’t believe you want to hide out on this island. The woman I got to know in that cabin in Saudi Arabia would never give up.”

  Nadia was quiet. She wondered if Clive was right. Maybe he gave her more credit than she deserved.

  “You know what I think?” continued Clive. “I think you’re afraid to be happy again. I think you’re playing the martyr with this whole ‘I’m going to live on this island’ shit.”

  Nadia just glared at him.

  “Why else would you be willing to throw your life away like this?” he asked. “It’s a stupid, meaningless gesture, Nadia. One that will benefit nobody, least of all yourself.”

  “What do you expect me to do?” she asked, getting angry.

  “I expect you to get over it,” said Clive. “Life goes on.”

  Nadia stared at him, flabbergasted.

  “I seem to recall back in that room at T.D.M.R. that you didn’t want to die,” he reminded her. “Is this what you wanted to live for? To hide out on this island and feel sorry for yourself?”

  “Oh my god!” exclaimed Nadia, starting to cry. “You’re so…heartless!” She just sat there and wept for several min
utes. Clive didn’t say anything until she stopped.

  “Are you done?” he asked.

  This time Nadia laughed. “Fuck you,” she said, and then she laughed again. When she was done laughing, they both just stared at the ocean for a while.

  “By the way,” said Clive, “Will sends his love.”

  Nadia looked at him. “Will knows about us…coming here together?” she asked.

  “Of course,” he said. “I told him all about it.” He turned to her and grinned as he added—“Less your disappointment when you saw Sasha.”

  Nadia ignored that last part. “What did he say?”

  Clive shrugged. “He was glad that Sasha and I were coming here to be with you,” he said. “He’s been out of his mind with worry while you’ve been laying around this beach, wallowing in self-pity.”

  “He never contacted me.”

  “He figures you’ll call when you’re ready,” said Clive.

  “Oh really?” snapped Nadia. “What did you tell him?”

  “I told him you’re still feeling sorry for yourself,” said Clive. “What did you want me to tell him?”

  Nadia huffed. “Well, for starters you could tell him that I’ve been waiting for him to call and apologize for the horrible things he said to me.”

  “Yeah…no, I’m definitely not saying that,” said Clive.

  “Why not?” she demanded. “You don’t think he should call me himself, instead of sneaking around behind my back?”

  “Stop,” said Clive. “Just stop right there, and use your head.” Nadia blinked. “I just told you that he’s been asking about you every day. Meanwhile, I haven’t heard you mention him once!”

  Nadia sighed, deflated. The truth was that she hadn’t allowed herself to think about Will. And yet he’d been there, in her dreams—amidst a host of terrifying events and real life monsters. She knew that the fight between her and Will was her fault, but she couldn’t bring herself to admit this to Clive.

  “And it’s not just Will, either,” continued Clive. “You know that, right?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “You know what I mean!” he snapped. “Lilith, Poseidon—you know damn well you’re not just gonna walk away from all this.”

  Nadia stared at him in astonishment. On some level she knew that he was right, but even so, she recoiled at what he was saying.

  No, she thought. No more.

  Clive seemed to read her thoughts. “You know you’re not walking away from this,” he repeated, “and we don’t have time for any more of your shit.”

  “We?” asked Nadia. “You…you have something…in mind?” She felt a strange thrill at the thought, but it was immediately followed by dread.

  Clive was growing exasperated. “Lilith’s still out there,” he said. “And so is Poseidon. Remember him? The djinn responsible for the biggest disaster of our era? Armageddon is starting to look like a real possibility and unfortunately, you appear to be at the center of it all.”

  “Me?”

  “You’re the only one who can make the trade with Lilith,” he said.

  “Will agreed to the trade?” Nadia was growing more incredulous by the minute.

  “Not Will,” he shot back quickly. When Nadia just stared at him, he continued. “We need your help with Lilith,” he told her, adding tentatively—“…and Will.”

  “We?” asked Nadia again.

  “Gordon and I,” he clarified.

  “But…I thought Gordon was fired.”

  “He was,” said Clive.

  “Wait…if you’ve already reconciled with Will, what do you need me for?” she asked.

  “The only reason Will and I are talking again is because of you,” said Clive. “You’re the key to all of this.”

  “So that’s why you want me to call him,” she said. And the intrigue begins, she thought, disgusted. She looked at Clive. “I don’t know what you think I can do for you and Gordon, but you don’t know Will very well if you think I can get him to help you with Lilith.”

  “Nadia, Will cares about you,” said Clive. “I think he may be in love with you.”

  Something inside Nadia stirred when he said this, but she couldn’t immediately pinpoint what it was. She had no idea what she felt for Will. Was it love?

  Was she even capable of love?

  Nadia sighed. “What’s wrong with me?” she wondered out loud.

  “Post-traumatic Stress Disorder,” said Clive. Nadia turned to him in surprise. “Look at yourself. You’re the poster child for it.”

  He was right. Nadia had seen it often enough in the people she helped with first relief. Why hadn’t she realized it?

  “What should I do?” she asked.

  “You need to get back to work,” said Clive. “And you need to help us get Poseidon from Lilith.”

  “What!” she exclaimed. “How am I supposed to do that? Lilith will only give up Poseidon in exchange for Asmodeous. And Asmodeous is trapped inside the dome at your former headquarters, remember? How do you plan to get him out of there? Gordon was fired and you quit!”

  “Oh, did I forget to mention that Will and I are working together again?” asked Clive, smiling at her expression. “See. You already helped with the first step and you didn’t even know you were doing it.”

  Nadia was getting annoyed. “Supposing you did somehow manage to get Asmodeous’ ring and trade it for Poseidon’s,” she said, feeling a painful mixture of excitement and horror just saying the words. “What then? Poseidon will surely open yet another Pandora’s Box. Only this time there won’t be anything you can do about it. You can’t keep using DOD resources for your own private investigations. Surely your supervisors will be watching your every move after what just happened.”

  “Which once again brings us to you,” said Clive. “And BEACON.”

  Nadia was too stunned to respond.

  “BEACON would make the perfect front,” he went on. “It has tremendous connections and influence, not to mention the support of powerful international organizations like UNDRO, CERT and the United Nations. And we can operate from there without interference from the Department of Defense. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.”

  Use BEACON as a front? Nadia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You’re out of your mind,” she whispered. She shook her head in astonishment. It was preposterous! “And anyway, Will would never agree to anything like this,” she added.

  “He wouldn’t have to know about it,” said Clive.

  Nadia would’ve liked to laugh in Clive’s face but, instead, she turned back toward the ocean and took a deep, soothing breath. Clive was stirring up feelings in her that she didn’t want to feel. I am peace, she thought, repeating the affirmation she’d learned from the CD as she held her breath. I am calm, she continued, slowly letting the breath out. The warmth of the sun felt good. The water on her toes felt good. She didn’t ever have to leave this island if she—

  “Oh no you don’t!” said Clive, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her eyes open. “It’s been almost two weeks now. Snap out of it!”

  Nadia stared at Clive without seeing him. She was trying to remember which one she left off with—peace or calm.

  “Remember your father, Nadia?” asked Clive. “Remember when you were arguing with us about how he would never, ever have done all that horrible shit if he wasn’t trying to prevent something even worse…like Armageddon?”

  Nadia blinked and two large tears slipped down her cheeks.

  “Well it turns out you might’ve been right about that,” he told her. Nadia tried to remember the incident he was referring to but couldn’t.

  “Come on, Nadia!” he urged, giving her another little shake. “Where’s that tough as nails CEO who was willing to fight for what she believed in?”

  Nadia wondered. Maybe she wasn’t that person after all. Maybe all this time she’d just been living in the shadows of her parents. It was their connections that had gotten her where
she was today. It was their dreams she had been following, their beliefs she had adopted and their causes she had dedicated her life to. And then, in the span of three short days, while under the influence of Will, Gordon and Clive, all of those values had been shattered!

  Who was she, really, when she wasn’t being influenced by others?

  It wasn’t until Clive spoke that she realized she’d expressed these thoughts out loud.

  “I sure as hell don’t know if you don’t,” he said. “I just hope you figure it out before the rest of the world ends up like California.”

  Terror gripped Nadia’s insides. “We’ll just make it worse!” she cried. “Like California!”

  “Possibly,” he conceded. “But we still have to try.”

  “Don’t you see?” she said. “We’re out of our league here!” She turned away from him, leaned back in her lounge chair and stared at the ocean. “We’re talking about angels…and djinn!” She closed her eyes stubbornly. “Why not just leave it to the higher powers.”

  “Christ!” muttered Clive. “Maybe you really are just a spoiled little princess!”

  And then there was just the sound of the surf. Nadia waited as long as she could before tentatively opening one eye to see if Clive was still there. Thankfully, he was gone.

  She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath. I am peace, she thought and, letting out the breath. I am calm. She concentrated on the sound of the waves, crashing on the shore.

  The world would be a better place without her bumbling interference. If not for her, her father would be alive, T.D.M.R. would be destroyed and California would still be intact.

  Why not just rest here in the sun forever?

  An image suddenly flashed through Nadia’s mind of Lilith, lying on the beach in Kiriath Arba, bathing in the sun. That’s what she was doing when the war broke out between the angels.

  Nadia’s eyes flew open.

  That little diversion had cost Lilith five thousand years of her life. But she hadn’t given up. She was still clamoring to live!