by Ira B. Nadel
59 “Bed-centered play”: Hamilton Spectator (5 June 1973) [n.p.].
60 “musical journey”: Clive Barnes, NYT reprinted in Vancouver Sun (28 September 1973) 24.
61 “to recover from”: LC in Pike, Zig Zag 47.
62 “because it is so horrible”: FR 5; DLM 54.
63 “to make my atonement”: LC, Vancouver Sun (20 October 1973) 12.
64 “What a burden”: FR 11.
65 “I never became a sign”: FR 12.
66 “I won’t fuck”: FR 12.
67 “Nothing can stop me”: FR 16.
68 “I could see”: FR 20.
69 “I am in”: FR 22.
70 “The war was”: FR 24.
71 “long, stainless steel legs”: FR 30.
72 “I went immediately to”: FR 33.
73 “After I had showered”: FR 33.
74 “You will only sing”: FR 31.
75 “But I want her”: FR 31.
76 “tanks are the only”: FR 34.
77 “I manage to kill”: FR 34.
78 “May I entertain”: “My Life in Art,” McM. 40; this is a more polished section of The Final Revision of My Life in Art.
79 “It was very informal”: LC in Pike, Zig Zag 47.
80 “but you get caught up”: LC in Pike, Zig Zag 47.
81 “Feeling good in the desert”: “My Life in Art,” McM. 41.
82 “the people stop me”: “My Life in Art,” McM. 42.
83 “acid into diplomatic cocktail parties”: “Field Commander Cohen,” NS.
84 “passion and possession”: “My Life in Art,” McM. 43.
85 “It all breaks down”: “Pulled out of bed,” Prose Fragment, LCA [2].
86 “says I took away”: “Pulled out of bed,” LCA [2].
87 “make peace with the language of love”: FR 95.
88 “It’s no good”: LC, journal fragment [1973] LCA.
89 “What unfreezes a man?”: LC, ms. fragment, LCA, which continues with “By whose authority does he admit the Gulf Stream into his crystal? How does the humiliated spirit find its way out of the dead Kaballah?” cf. DLM 61.
Chapter 10
1 “I needed so much”: “The Night Comes On,” VP.
2 “If you want to see”: Joshu Sasaki Roshi, Buddha is the Center of Gravity (San Cristobal, New Mexico: Lama Foundation, 1974) 46.
3 “You should sing sadder”: Roshi to LC, “Comme un Guerrier,” Throat Culture 62.
4 “I need to go deeper”: LC, “Comme un Guerrier,” Throat Culture 62.
5 “When I go there”: LC, People 13 (14 January 1980) 57.
6 “the end of my life in art”: DLM 190.
7 “Six-fifty [a.m.]”: DLM 192.
8 “I swim in your love”: DLM 62.
9 “I came so far for beauty”: “Came So Far for Beauty,” RS.
10 “Tibetan Desire”: BL 10.
11 “I am growing sick”: FR 26.
12 “Once I walked”: FR 30.
13 “Goodnight once again”: FR 95.
14 “The man in chains”: FR 97.
15 “I lost that”: FR 103.
16 “It’s the least painful”: FR 112.
17 “Too early for the rainbow”: “The Gypsy’s Wife,” RS.
18 “So the Chinese girl”: FR 103.
19 “It will become clear”: DLM 21.
20 “You got old”: “Is This What You Wanted?,” NS.
21 “I rise up from her arms”: “There Is A War,” NS.
22 “has the deepest understanding”: LC in H. Kubernik, “Cohen Through the Years,” Melody Maker (6 March 1975) 13.
23 “Thank you”: LC in Pike, Zig Zag 50.
24 “Maybe because”: LC in Danny Fields, “Leonard Cohen Looks at Himself,” Soho News 1 (5 December 1974) 8.
25 “When I stand”: LC in Fields, Soho News 9.
26 “one of the strongest”: H. Kubernik and J. Pierce, “Cohen, A True Craftsman,” Melody Maker (28 December 1974) 12.
27 “the first lover”: FR 106.
28 “There is a lot”: John Rockwell, “Leonard Cohen Gives His Songs,” NYT (9 February 1975) 16.
29 “he looks like an overworked”: Andrew Weiner, “Poet on the Rack,” New Musical Express (5 April 1975) 33.
30 “It is not exactly”: FR 36–37.
31 “street father”: FR 40.
32 “to teach my son”: FR 40.
33 “I am going”: FR 43.
34 “then the obscene silence”: FR 44.
35 “created so much tougher”: FR 45.
36 “I gave a woman”: FR 45.
37 “The moon is over”: FR 46–47.
38 “against Domestic Conversations”: FR 48.
39 “The first woman”: FR 48.
40 “Without the Name”: FR 52.
41 “My heart longs”: DLM 63.
42 “Names preserve”: BL 40.
43 “Leonard hasn’t been”: PH 33.
44 “When it comes to”: DLM 79.
45 “I am almost”: DLM 212.
46 “We will go back”: FR 53.
47 “I should have killed”: FR 53.
48 “who loves me”: FR 57.
49 “Did I know”: FR 64.
50 “Desire in Athens”: FR 65.
51 “To see me you must”: FR 81.
52 “not been denied”: FR 82.
53 “We didn’t get”: LC 4/21/95.
54 “I decided to worship”: FR 85.
55 “in the style of”: FR 72.
56 “who lighted up”: FR 73.
57 “the song could not”: FR 73.
58 “I don’t know why”: “Notes,” BLC.
59 “Body important”: LC 4/21/95.
60 “surprising how he sings”: Rob Mackie, “Romance at the Broncoburger,” Street Life (12–25 June 1976) 15.
61 “He told me about”: LC, prose fragments (1 August 1976), LCA.
62 “When I’m not plotting”: LC, prose fragments, LCA.
63 “life is not”: LC in Mackie, Street Life 15.
64 “Bitterly”: LC, prose fragments, (2 August 1976), LCA.
65 “I wanted to go”: LC, Matrix 53.
66 “I came upon texts”: LC, Matrix 53.
67 “How do you”: LC reported by JM 8/26/94.
68 “As long as we”: LC, “Comme un Guerrier,” Throat Cultureój.
69 “very charming and hospitable”: LC, Songtalk 3: 2: 30.
70 “I thought the songs”: LC, Goldmine 19.
71 “He kept a lot of guns”: LC, Throat Culture 63.
72 “I love you, Leonard”: LC, Throat Culture 63.
73 “Dylan blew everybody’s”: Allen Ginsberg in Songtalk 3: 2: 1.
74 “It’s direct and confessional”: LC in Kubernik, “The greatest ones never just sit it out once,” Melody Maker (26 November 1977) 9.
75 “the full flower”: LC in Twigg, Georgia Straight 24.
76 “I know my work”: LC 5/11/94.
77 “The listener could have been”: LC in Hugh Seidman, “Unful’phil’ed: Cohen & Spector’s Looney Tunes,” Crawdaddy (February 1978) 20.
78 “capable of stunning”: Seidman, Crawdaddy 20.
79 “I should get myself”: LC, “Comme un Guerrier,” Throat Culture 64.
80 “Leonard Cohen’s doo-wop”: Rolling Stone (9 February 1978) 93.
81 “Leonard Cohen is for”: Toronto Star (19 November 1977) D5.
82 “Doyen of Doom meets”: Roy Carr, “Doyen of Doom meets Teen Tycoon …” Melody Maker (November 1977) 32.
83 “most significant step”: Ken Waxman, “Rebirth of a Ladies’ Man,” Saturday Night (March 1978) 61.
84 “either greatly flawed”: Rolling Stone (9 February 1978) 95.
85 “She took his much admired”: “Death of A Ladies’ Man,” DLM.
86 “every relationship”: LC in Stephen Williams, “The confessions of Leonard Cohen,” Toronto Life (February 1978) 49.
Chapter 11
1
“I must say”: Anna Porter to JMcCL (10 November 1976), McM.
2 “Leonard Cohen”: Lily Miller, (? November 1976), McM.
3 “I suggest”: LM (? November 1976), McM.
4 “because of language”: anon., (? June? 1977), McM.
5 “His drawings”: LM,? June 1977, McM.
6 “He feels very excited”: LM to JMcCL, 10 August 1977, McM.
7 “This is a grim development”: JMcCL to LM, 10 August 1977, McM.
8 “pulled apart and uptight”: JMcCL to LM, 11 August 1977, McM.
9 “says he is re-writing”: JMcCL to LM, 11 August 1977, McM.
10 “He says he is writing”: JMcCL to LM, 11 August 1977, McM.
11 “I DOUBT THAT”: LC to JMCCL, 18 August 1977, MCM.
12 LEONARD THERE IS NO SWEAT : JMCCL to LC, 19 August 1977, MCM.
13 “where we are heading”: JMcCL to LC, 11 October 1977, McM.
14 “Christ, Leonard”: JMcCL in Sandra Martin, “Don’t be impatient: Leonard Cohen will let you see his new poems. Eventually,” Saturday Night (November 1977) 30.
15 “If Leonard were”: JMcCL in Saturday Night (November 1977) 35.
16 “bulk and elegance”: LM to JMcCL, 7 July 1978, McM. Miller had met with the elusive Cohen in Montreal on 6 July 1978 to solve many of the production issues.
17 “astonishing”: Sam Ajzenstat, “The ploy’s the thing,” Books in Canada (October 1978) 10.
18 “coldly received in all circles”: LC in Goldmine 19.
19 “marriage is a monastery”: LC in Stephen Williams, “The Confessions of Leonard Cohen,” Toronto Life (February 1978) 61. In DLM Cohen writes “This is the monastery of marriage” (153).
20 “the hottest furnace”: LC in Williams, Crawdaddy (March 1975) 51.
21 “the quality of smoke”: LC in Jeani Read, “Leonard Cohen: A Much Bigger Man than He Appears,” Vancouver Province (27 October 1978) 15.
22 “Irving Layton”: “Dedication,” RS. “I owe my thanks to”: “Dedication,” RS.
23 “the pasture of this world”: Kakuan, “10 Bulls,” tr. Nyogen Senzaki and Paul Reps in Paul Reps, Zen Flesh, Zen Bones (Rutland, Vt.: Charles E. Tuttle & Co., 1957) 168.
24 “forms of integration”: Zen Flesh, Zen Bones 184.
25 “an ideal musical idiom”: “Leonard Cohen—Reaching for the Right Idiom,” Janet Maslin, NYT (18 November 1978) E30.
26 “everybody on tour”: LC in Dorman 310.
27 “the confusion of seriousness”: LC in Dorman 311.
28 “He has the same”: LC in Stephen Godfrey, “A New Artistic Twist for Pied Piper Poet,” Globe and Mail (1 March 1980) El.
29 “I think it’s a beautiful”: LC, Globe and Mail El.
30 “a classic, a grostesque masterpiece”: LC, Globe and Mail El.
31 “destined to be”: John Monks in The Australian, Dorman 314–15.
32 “I never got out”: LC in Dorman 316.
33 “it didn’t seem”: LC in Globe and Mail El.
34 “The song seized me”: LC in Harry Rasky, “The Song of Leonard Cohen,” CBC–tv, 1980.
35 “a new spirit in my work”: LC, “The Song of Leonard Cohen.”
36 “Genius”: IL, “The Song of Leonard Cohen.”
37 “the gift of anxiety”: IL, “The Song of Leonard Cohen.”
38 “I wandered away from you”: LC, tape (1980), LCA.
39 “a wandering monk”: Steve Sanfield 10/3/94.
40 “Zero is activity”: Joshu Sasaki Roshi, “Questions and Answers,” The Great Celebration (Los Angeles: Rinzai-ji, Inc. 1992) 64–65.
41 “As long as we see”: Roshi in Sanfield, Zen and Hasidism 227.
42 “through realizing oneself”: Roshi, “The Nature of Zero,” Zero III: 12.
43 “everything is oneself”: Roshi, Zero 13.
44 “is the possession of”: Roshi, Zero 14.
45 “After you realize”: Roshi quoted by LC 5/10/94.
46 “Roshi saw that I knew”: LC 5/10/94.
47 “I am not a Buddhist”: LC in Dorman 316.
48 “for the truly lost”: NB 12/29/94.
49 “My father and mother”: LC, Hollywood Reporter (25 October 1993), LCA.
50 “If you see”: LC in Christof Graf, “Cohen in Nazi-Land,” Take This Waltz 94.
51 “One more star”: LC 11/14/94.
52 “dig in”: LC 5/11/94.
53 “diligent application”: LC 5/11/94.
54 “a combination of”: LC in Stephen Holden, “Leonard Cohen Brings Back His Blues,” NYT (3 May 1985) 22.
55 “reminiscent of the sixties”: Variety (22 May 1985) 26.
56 “a kind of carousel”: LC in Kate Daller, “I Am A Hotel,” Starweek (5–12 May 1984) 4.
57 “My personal life is such”: Daller, Starweek 4.
58 “must assume”: LC 5/11/94.
59 “I like to get up”: LC 5/11/94.
60 “get down”: LC, [#13], BM, n.p.
61 “I was silenced”: LC in Alan Twigg, “Leonard Cohen,” Strong Voices: Conversations with Fifty Canadian Writers (Maderia Park, BC: Harbour Publishing, 1988) 45.
62 “the courage to write down”: LC in Twigg, Strong Voices 46.
63 “inspired or it isn’t”: Mirolla, Montreal Gazette (12 May 1984) I 2.
64 “It came from an intense desire”: LC, “Comme un Guerrier,” Throat Culture 64.
65 “Broken in the unemployment”: [#12], BM.
66 “It’s a tricky thing”: LC, Quill and Quire (May 1984) 5.
67 “Everyone is in some kind of fix”: LC, Q & Q (May 1984) 5.
68 “We’re such a hip age”: LC in Twigg, Strong Voices 46.
69 “May it therefore”: Mahzor for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur (NY: Rabbinical Assembly, 1972) 407.
70 “I had no idea”: LC, Songtalk 3: 2: 28.
71 “I bought”: LC in Richard Guillatt, “Leonard Cohen” The Magazine, Sunday Times (12 December 1993) 64.
72 “I don’t know why”: LC, Sunday Times 64.
73 “The initial thing”: Liam Lacey, “Leonard in Winter,” Globe and Mail (27 November 1993) EI.
74 “I left everybody”: “The Law,” VP.
75 “We were locked”: “The Night Comes On,” VP.
76 “people who can’t sing”: LC, National Public Radio (1 May 1985).
77 “the tomb of the Unknown”: LC in Ashley Collie, “Leonard Cohen, Old Skin for the New Ceremony,” Canadian Musician VII (August 1985) 44.
78 “Sinner”: LC, Pete Fornetell, “Mixed Bag,” WNEW (NYC), 5 May 1985.
79 “an old veteran:” LC in Jeffrey Ressner, “Leonard Cohen,” Hollywood Reporter (14 June 1985) 10.
Chapter 12
1 “deep rescue”: Jennifer Warnes 5/13/94.
2 “Leonard made sure”: JW 5/13/94.
3 “Leonard’s tours”: JW 5/13/94.
4 “This is horrible”: JW 5/13/94.
5 “I knew”: JW 5/13/94.
6 “And I thank you”: “First We Take Manhattan,” IYM.
7 “It has been”: LC in Steve Lakes, “The Grocer of Despair, Leonard Cohen,” Münchner Stadt Zeitung 14 (1987) 29.
8 “pry open”: JW in, “Songs from the Life of Leonard Cohen,” Omnibus, BBC TV 1988.
9 “the place where God and sex”: JW in Paul Zollo, “Of Sunlight & Earthquakes, Jennifer Warnes,” Songtalk 3: 1 (1992) 17.
10 “Your most particular answer”: LC, Songtalk 3: 2: 26.
11 “Because of Leonard’s facility”: JW, Songtalk 3: 1: 18.
12 “Her voice”: LC in JW, Songtalk 3: 1: 17.
13 “if you want to hear”: LC in JW, Songtalk 3: 1: 17.
14 “Sharon showed it”: LC in Gregg Quill, “Cohen Finds the Humor in Being Taken Seriously,” Toronto Star (4 May 1988) 12.
15 “I thought we should do”: LC, Howell Llewellyn, “Cohen Goes Surreal in Spain,” Toronto Star (18 October 1986) G3.
16 “No, I’m a famous nobody”: LC, “Cohen Goes Surreal,” Toront
o Star G3. “holy condition”: LC in Dorman 355.
17 “It broke down a lot”: Rowland, Musician Magazine 102.
18 “I couldn’t get behind”: LC in Juan Rodriguez. “The Odd Couple, Leonard Cohen and Michel Pagliaro,” Montreal Magazine (March 1990) 38.
19 “Everything is public”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 97.
20 “I have always been touched”: LC at the CBS Records Crystal Globe ceremony, New York (9 March 1988) LCA.
21 “total commitment”: LC, Norwegian Radio, Oslo, 13 February 1988.
22 “demented manifesto”: LC in Siemerling, “A Political Constituency,” Take This Waltz 164.
23 “First we take Manhattan”: LC in Siemerling, Take This Waltz 165.
24 “This waltz, this waltz”: “Take This Waltz,” IYM.
25 “to get at the dramatic depths”: Lorca, Collected Poetry, xl.
26 “ought to be”: Lorca, Collected Poetry, xl.
27 “it caught the mood”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 104.
28 “started off as a song”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 102.
29 “What is my life?”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 102.
30 “make a definite statement”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 104.
31 “necessity to transcend”: LC 5/11/94.
32 “really placed it”: LC 5/11/94.
33 “Well, my friends are gone”: “Tower of Song,” IYM.
34 “I never thought I was”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 119.
35 “Now I know what I am”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 100.
36 “They say the Torah”: LC in Songtalk 3: 2: 27.
37 “I don’t really know”: LC in Brian Cullman, “Sincerely, L. Cohen,” Details (January 1993) 105.
38 “a sardonic last call”: Liam Lacey, Globe and Mail (27 November 1993) El.
39 “it doesn’t sound like music”: LC quoted by Perla Batalla, 5/11/94.
40 “what you have to go for”: LC quoted by Perla Batalla, 5/11/94.
41 “make it like”: LC in Vancouver Province (16 October 1988) 67.
42 “Orbisize”: LC in Vancouver Province (16 October 1988) 67.
43 “what you have to do”: LC in Rodriguez, “The Odd Couple,” Montreal Magazine (March 1990) 38.
44 “I was born like this”: “Tower of Song,” IYM.
45 “I think if”: LC in Rowland, Musician Magazine 95.
46 “I’ve come a long way”: LC in Songtalk 3: 2: 31.
47 “as a tribute to”: Lorna Knight, Let Us Compare Mythologies, Half a Century of Canadian Poetry in English (Ottawa: National Library of Canada, 1989) 5.