Donuts & Daydreams

by Elizabeth Maddrey

  “I don’t lie.” Not exactly. “I just don’t mention it. The people who need to know, do. Felipe is one of them.”

  “Why not just tell people? I’m not sure I’m excited about hanging at some other guy’s house. He got the hots for you?”

  “Hardly. He’s happily married. With children. And he’s a cop. As for why I don’t want to have you here, or tell everyone...Frank, when you leave again—if you leave again—I don’t want to have to give up the life I built here, move somewhere else, and start over.” With the kind of wreckage Frank usually left in his wake, picking up the pieces probably wouldn’t be possible. “Besides. We’ve been separated a lot of years now. If you end up deciding you don’t want to stay married to me, a divorce will be quick after all this time. You stay here, I’m pretty sure the clock resets. Do you want that?”

  He sighed. “Go call your friend.”

  Gloria hadn’t thought her heart could break anymore because of Frank, but his words—and the implied confirmation that he had every intention of leaving again and, eventually, ending the marriage—cut deep. She swallowed the lump in her throat and stood. Her cell was in the bedroom. She’d go make the call. But she wouldn’t weep. Frank—and the disaster of their marriage—didn’t deserve any more tears.

  * * *

  Gloria pulled her car into the driveway of the B&B and ground her teeth together. Felipe didn’t have room. At least, that’s what he said. Given how slyly he’d suggested the Fairview, she figured it was probably an attempt to push her into telling the Baxters the whole situation. She cut the engine and pushed open her door, glancing at Frank. “Let’s go.”

  “Swank. This is a cop’s house?”

  She shook her head. “Nope. Another friend. She runs a B&B.”

  “I don’t have that kind of cash. There’s motel down by the highway...”

  “She said she’d put you up. Favor for a friend.” Of course, she hadn’t given Ruth the full scoop. She needed to talk to Jonah before she did that. Didn’t she? And what was she supposed to say to him? Oh, hey, by the way, that’s why I’ve been saying no for almost three years? Gloria sighed. Tangled web indeed. Even though she wasn’t trying to deceive anyone. All she’d wanted was a quiet life with a job she loved. And she’d had that. Then the Baxters had come to town and upset everything. She pushed the doorbell.

  Ruth pulled open the front door with a curious smile. “Hi, Gloria. I’m glad you called. Most of the wedding guests left right away, so we have plenty of room. In fact, Corban and I were talking about closing for a week, taking a little pre-baby staycation of sorts.”

  Gloria winced and stepped into the foyer, Frank at her heels. “I’m sorry. I can find another—”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. One guest isn’t going to be a problem.” Ruth grinned and extended her hand to Frank. “Hi, I’m Ruth DeWitt.”

  “Frank Sinclair. Pleasure to meet you. When are you due?”

  Ruth rubbed her belly, a soft smile on her face. “Not ‘til April, but I feel like I’m already as big as a house.”

  “You look amazing.” Gloria shook her head. “And when the baby comes, you’re going to lose it all as quickly as it went on.”

  Ruth laughed. “I can only pray that’s the case. Come on, I’ll show you up to your room. You want to come, Gloria?”

  “Is it okay if I hang here?”

  “Sure. You can get comfy in the sitting room or, if you want, head back to our apartment. Corban brought me ice cream. There’s plenty.”

  Ice cream. In January. It had to be a pregnancy thing. On the other hand, was ice cream ever a bad idea? Gloria watched as Ruth led the way up the stairs, still taking the steps quickly despite her pregnancy. When they disappeared, she followed the hall back to the apartment Ruth and Corban lived in and knocked.

  “Come on in.”

  Gloria pushed open the door and peeked in. “Ruth said something about dessert.”

  Corban laughed. “Have a seat, I’ll get another bowl. She goes through a half-gallon every couple of days and then complains she’s putting on too much baby weight. But as far as I can tell, ice cream’s about all she’s eating right now.”

  “She must need the calcium.” Hadn’t she read something about pregnant women craving things their bodies needed to sustain the baby? It briefed well, at least. Given that she was unlikely to ever experience it first hand, the occasional article online when no one was looking would have to do. “I really appreciate you putting Frank up. Ruth mentioned you’d been talking about a staycation.”

  Corban set a generous bowl of ice cream in front of her. “It was just an idea. Helping out a friend is always more important.”

  Gloria poked at the chocolate scoops trying to identify the various chunks in it. Nuts, more chocolate, and were those pretzel pieces? She filled her spoon and took a bite. Definitely pretzels. Weird, but good. “How was having a houseful of celebrities?”

  Corban laughed. “Honestly? Not much different from any other time we’re full. They were nice. I’m pretty sure most are planning to come back for vacation down the road.”

  “Ruth’s gifted at making people feel at home.”

  “She is.” He smiled. “So, who’s the friend?”

  The door to the apartment shut with a loud click and Ruth padded to the table, lowering herself into a chair with a groan. “That was going to be my question. Brother? I don’t think I knew you had a brother.”

  Sinclair. Of course Ruth picked up on that. Gloria cleared her throat. “He’s not my brother. He’s my husband.”

  If it had been anyone else’s life, it would’ve been comical.

  Ruth froze, her spoon half-way to her mouth, ice cream dribbling into a puddle on the table. Corban simply stared, his mouth opening and closing as he clearly searched for words.

  After a long silence, Ruth dropped her spoon back into the bowl and hissed, “Husband?”

  “It’s a long story.” Gloria pushed her bowl away and started to stand. “I should go. Thanks for—”

  “Oh no. No, no, no. You sit back down and eat that ice cream while you explain.” Ruth glanced at Corban before returning her gaze to Gloria. “We’ve got nothing else to do tonight.”

  Her stomach twisted into knots that would make any macramé artist proud. She took a deep breath and started at the beginning. “I joined the Marines just out of high school. We met at boot camp...”

  * * *

  Gloria rubbed her eyes and stared at the clock. She hadn’t slept well—at all, really. Corban and Ruth had taken the news well, all things considered, but she’d left with firm instructions to tell Jonah before he found out on his own. She’d planned to do just that. Probably. It wasn’t like Frank was likely to stick around once she gave him a time to show up to meet with the pastor. And that was another thing she needed to schedule sooner than later.

  Four a.m. If Jonah wasn’t already at the bakery, he’d be there soon.

  Gloria dragged herself out of bed and into the kitchen. She needed coffee if she was going to be up this early on a rare Saturday off. The vague thought of spending the day nestled in her apartment with some sort of movie marathon had evaporated the minute Frank showed up. He had a talent for making things difficult. She winced. That wasn’t fair, probably. After all, he hadn’t always been that way. Deployment had changed him. And her. Unfortunately, they’d gone in opposite directions, and it didn’t seem likely that he’d ever swing back the way he came. Well, neither would she. After finding Jesus, there was no going back to the kind of life she’d had before.

  Where did that leave them?

  Steaming mug of coffee at her elbow, Gloria flipped her Bible open to First Corinthians chapter seven. Again. She’d read the words so many times, they were printed on her brain. If a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. But what did Paul mean when he said “willing to live with her?” That was the sticking point. Frank had been the one to leave. Physically, he wasn�
��t willing to live with her. But he also hadn’t taken any steps toward divorcing her. Didn’t that mean at some level he wanted the marriage?

  Gloria sipped her coffee and closed her eyes, trying to find the words to pray, thankful yet again that the Holy Spirit knew her heart and was able to intercede for her, because she didn’t know what to do beyond cry out for help and clarity.

  By five, she was dressed and jogging down the steps of her building to the car. Micah and Serena would be getting back from their honeymoon later this afternoon. If she wanted to catch Jonah alone, it had to be now, before the bakery opened.

  Driving through town early on a cold, January Saturday was like a trip through a winter fairy land. Ice-crusted snow sparkled in the street lights and everything was still. Frozen. Like her heart?

  Gloria brushed the thought aside and lifted her hand in greeting as she passed the police cruiser idling at the corner where so many people seemed to forget to stop. She couldn’t quite make out who it was behind the wheel, but at least it wasn’t her. Of course, some people enjoyed the night shift, just not her.

  The bakery windows glowed, warm and inviting against the darkness of the rest of the shopping center. She parked in front of the door and turned off the car. Would he let her in? She grabbed her phone out of the cup holder and dialed Jonah’s cell.

  Music poured into the car when Jonah answered, and he shouted over it. “Gloria? You okay?”

  Her belly quivered. No. She wasn’t okay. She was pretty much the opposite of that. But she had to do this. “Yeah. Hi. I’m out front. Could I come in and talk to you for a minute?”

  “You’re at the bakery?”

  Her lips curved. “I am.”

  “Hang on. I’ll come get the door.” His phone clicked off.

  Gloria stepped out of the car and hunched her shoulders against the blast of cold. She stuffed her hands deep into the pockets of her coat and moved to huddle by the door.

  Jonah hurried through the front of the store, confusion evident on his face. He flipped the locks and pushed the door open. “Come on in, before you freeze. What are you doing out in this? You weren’t working?”

  “No. I’m off today. I...we need to talk.”

  His eyebrows lifted. He relocked the door and nodded toward the kitchen. “Come on back, you can talk while I work.”

  Of course he’d need to keep busy. He was a man down. Had been for two weeks. “How’ve you been managing without Micah?”

  “All right. I’ve been doing as much as I can the night before. It’s not perfect, and I wouldn’t want to do it long term. In my mind, fresh baked goods need to be made same day, not prepped the night before. But so far everyone has understood. Still, I’ll be glad when he’s back and we can get back to normal. It wasn’t nearly as bad when Mal took off. Paperwork getting behind doesn’t bother me.” Jonah grinned and washed his hands before returning to the mound of dough on the counter. He rolled it into a ball and began to knead, the muscles on his forearms rippling. “What’s up?”

  Gloria dragged her gaze away from the mesmerizing rhythm of his work and looked around the kitchen. It was the picture of what she’d term organized chaos. Dough was rising on one counter and rows of cookies were scooped on trays lined up behind muffin tins waiting, she imagined, for their turns in the oven. And the fragrance...it was always a treat to walk into the bakery during the day, but here in the kitchen while everything was being made? She’d never want to leave. Her gaze flitted back to Jonah and their eyes met. Her heart stuttered in her chest. “How was your date with Kenia last night?”

  Jonah barked a short laugh and dumped the kneaded dough into a bowl before dragging a towel over the top. He went back to the sink to scrub his hands. “Did you really get up at five in the morning to ask me about my date?”

  “No. Of course not. I’m just—this is hard.”

  “We’re friends, Gloria. Tell me what’s going on. It’s obvious you’re struggling with something.”

  Right. Just spit it out then. She took a deep breath. “My husband’s back in town. He’s staying at Ruth’s. I figured I should tell you before you found out another way.”

  The sheet tray he’d been holding clattered to the counter. “Your husband.”

  She nodded.

  “I see.” His chest rose as he breathed in, his gaze pinning her in place. He gave a brisk nod. “I appreciate you letting me know. Don’t worry about locking up behind you when you leave, Arcadia Valley’s a pretty safe town.”

  “Jonah...”

  “Don’t. Just don’t. You need to leave, Gloria.” He continued scooping batter from a large silver bowl onto the sheet tray without looking up.

  Her shoulders fell. It wasn’t as if she’d expected it to go well. As quietly as she could, Gloria exited the kitchen and headed for her car. She took a last long look around the front of the bakery. It wasn’t likely she’d be welcome here again. Not for a while, at least.

  In her car, she lowered her head to the steering wheel and let the tears fall, her heart breaking into tiny pieces. She was married to a man she didn’t love. One who didn’t love her—had he ever? Really? And she was in love with a man who now despised her. As he should.

  Felipe kept reminding her that the truth would set her free. He hadn’t mentioned how much it would hurt.

  5

  “Can I see you in the kitchen for a minute, Jonah?”

  Jonah sighed. He’d been expecting this all day yesterday and through church this morning. Apparently having invited Kenia to their Sunday welcome home lunch for Micah and Serena wasn’t going to put off the inevitable any longer. He stood and offered a smile. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Sure. You need extra help? I can come?” Kenia started to rise.

  Jonah shook his head. “I’m sure it’ll be fast. Mal and Ursula should be here any minute. Would you mind getting the door for them?”

  It was a flimsy excuse to keep her in the living room, but nothing else had come to him, and he sure didn’t need Kenia overhearing Ruth digging for details about his conversation with Gloria.

  Married.

  She was married.

  “What’s up?” Jonah tucked his hands in his pockets and studied the efficient way Ruth handled the kitchen. She was as at home here as she was at the B&B. And she’d do just fine in a fancy restaurant, if that’s what she wanted. A pang hit him and he pushed it away without much thought. He was here now. The bakery was his life. Fine dining, fancy food...that was all in the past. Well, except when he dabbled. He should have Kenia over sometime, fix her dinner. Maybe a romantic meal would bring out whatever it was that was missing from their relationship.

  “You know very well what’s up. What’d Gloria say? More importantly, how are you holding up?” Ruth moved a pan off the burner and set another in its place.

  “I’m fine.”

  Ruth frowned and shook her head. “Don’t give me that.”

  “What am I supposed to say? She’s married. That’s kind of a big deal. I would never have flirted with her if I’d known. I’d certainly never have let it go so far.” He clamped his lips shut and prayed Ruth would let it go. There was nothing to be gained by sharing the fact that he was in love with Gloria. Still. Even after this bombshell. In love with a married woman. It figured.

  “Hmm.” Ruth shot him a knowing look. “What are you going to do about it?”

  “Do? There’s nothing to do. Did you miss the part where she’s married? To someone else?”

  “Yeah, but they’ve been separated for years. Didn’t she tell you the whole story? Explain? It’s heartbreaking.”

  He’d agree with heartbreaking. “I didn’t ask for an explanation. Wouldn’t matter. Separated is still married and, frankly, I’m surprised you’d even suggest that as an excuse. If she was divorced, fine, I could deal with that. But living together or not, the keyword you seem to be missing is married.”

  Ruth scooped mashed potatoes into a bowl and set it on the kitchen table before cr
ossing her arms. “You kicked her out before she could get through the whole story, didn’t you? You’re an idiot, Jonah.”

  “Married, Ruth. And I’m dating Kenia now, remember?” His gut twisted and the word girlfriend turned to dust in his mouth. She was a nice girl. Pretty and fun to be around...but she wasn’t Gloria. He gave himself a mental shake. Gloria wasn’t an option anymore. Nice, pretty Christian girls who were fun to be around weren’t everywhere he looked in Arcadia Valley. He could make it work with Kenia. He just needed to try harder. “Did you need my help, or were you just calling me in here to beat me up?”

  “Oh, Jonah.” Ruth crossed the kitchen and wrapped her arms around him. “I don’t mean to beat you up. I just want you to be happy.”

  “I know that.” He gave his sister a tight hug before wiggling out of her grasp. Happy didn’t look like it was on the menu though. Maybe he could find his way to content in time. “I’m working on it.”

  * * *

  Kenia’s presence at lunch had gotten a few raised eyebrows, but thankfully no one had said anything to her. Nor did anyone ask where Gloria was. It would’ve been a reasonable question. She was Serena’s best friend and had been a big part of all their family and group activities almost since they first came to Idaho. Maybe Ruth had passed the word and asked them to keep quiet. If so, Jonah was grateful.

  “So, what are you reading now?” Kenia scooted closer to Jonah on the couch, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.

  Jonah cleared his throat. “I’m still working through the pile I picked up just after Christmas. With Micah out, there hasn’t been any time to read during the day at the bakery. Either Mal or I have to be out front, and there’s always extra baking. I’m glad he’s back, if for no other reason than I can get a few pages in here and there during the day again.”