Flirting With Magick

by Bennett, Leigh

  By the time I got to the door of the hotel room, I was almost ready to turn back. Maybe it was just a movie somewhere neutral, I supposed. He was probably sitting in his trackies with a pizza. If that was the case, why was I wearing a dress and a mildly sexy one at that? Crap! I took a deep breath and knocked.

  He answered the door right away, and it would have been almost unnatural to not kiss him when he greeted me. Not on the lips; just a friendly peck on his cheek, which he returned, although his return kiss was lengthy and rather close to my mouth. I was momentarily relieved to see that he had dressed up as well. The room was dark and lit only by candlelight.

  Josh placed a glass of wine in my hand. "Riesling, your favourite."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  HE LED ME TO a beautifully laid table and pulled out a chair for me to sit. I lifted the cloche—spaghetti marinara. We sat in silence as he poured the wine for himself, my silence more of the shocked sort, his of the composed.

  “You don’t look happy,” he finally stated.

  “I was just surprised, that’s all.” I looked around at the candles, the meal, the wine... the bed.

  “I know it’s a bit much, but I wanted to show you how committed I am this time.” He had noticed my glance at the bed. “I thought a hotel room would be quieter, and you wouldn’t feel like I’m intruding at your place. It would be a bit crowded at Troy’s; Melinda’s there all the time lately. You don’t have to stay the night or anything.”

  He looked hurt when my relief was obvious. “Sorry.” I twirled spaghetti around my fork as a peace offering; I was staying for dinner. “I was just expecting a couple of drinks downstairs and that was it. This is just a bit of a surprise.”

  “I know. Abby, I— “

  “But thank you,” I interrupted. “This is lovely.”

  This time I surreptitiously studied him while he ate, having avoided it last time we were together. He almost seemed like a different man to the one I had dated. He looked pretty much the same, although his hair was longer and I could see flecks of silver in his otherwise reddish brown close-cropped beard. He seemed nervous, yet somehow optimistic and in control, like someone frightened of spiders about to triumphantly capture one under a glass.

  “How is Troy, anyway?” I asked in between bites. I hadn’t seen him since our lunch out with Di and Jemma. I still hadn’t found out from Dianne what the animosity between he and Jemma was about. With everything that had been going on, it wasn’t high on my list of things to talk to her about, but I was still curious.

  “He’s great.” Josh nodded after finishing his drink. “He asked if we want to go out with him and Melinda...” he swallowed, a coy look on his face. “That is, if you would like to go out with me.”

  I unsuccessfully tried to suppress a smile. “Can we just try and get through tonight without wanting to kill each other?”

  He laughed and appeared to completely relax for the first time that evening. “We did that a lot, didn’t we? Want to kill each other.” His eyes sparkled as he poured us both another glass of wine. “Although I must admit, your feelings weren’t completely without reason. I was a dickhead.”

  “You had your moments,” I grinned, “but I’m sure I did, too.”

  Josh leaned over the table and took my hand. “Not like me. You always knew what you wanted. It took me moving to Sydney to I realise what I’d let go.” He stood up, my hand still in his grasp. “Which brings me to why I’m doing all this.” I got to my feet, letting myself be gathered into his arms. His eyes searched my face for a moment before his lips softly pressed against mine, tentatively at first before pulling me tighter to him, his tongue flicking teasingly at my lips.

  He pulled back and gazed into my eyes again before caressing my face in both of his hands and kissing me again, deeper and more determined. “I’m sorry, for everything,” he whispered when our lips parted. “Please forgive me? Give me another chance to be more than just friends? I'm trying really hard here."

  All I could manage was a nod; this night was already spiralling way beyond my control. Held against him, I could feel his heart beating furiously, and his fast, nervous breath matched my own.

  Finally, my voice made a reappearance. “Let’s just talk tonight, okay? Get to know each other again. Like a first date.” I grabbed the wine bottle and my glass and sat down on the couch.

  He picked up his own glass and slumped down next to me.

  “So what happened, Josh? No bullshit, okay?”

  Josh shifted in his seat and I watched him think carefully before he spoke. “I don’t know. I think it was just stupid commitment crap. We’d been together for a while, and I think the thought of just being with one person forever scared me.” He turned towards me and flicked a loose tendril of hair from my face with his finger.

  “So what made you change your mind?” I tried to keep my voice steady at his touch.

  “I just realised how much I want to be with you.” His hand moved down to stroke my cheek.

  “Have you been with anyone else?”

  “In Sydney? No.”

  “It doesn’t matter if you were.”

  “Okay.” He dropped his hand and stared down at the floor. “Because I don’t want there to be any dishonesty between us, I’ll admit I had a couple of one night stands, but there wasn’t anyone I was involved with.” There was a hint of spite in his voice. He was obviously disappointed that I had been in a relationship with Sean and didn’t spend the time wallowing in self-pity, missing him. “Was the guy from work really the only one?”

  I bit my lip. Well, as long as we were being honest, and I had obviously hit a nerve with him... part of me still wanted to bring him down a few more notches, considering how suddenly he had left.

  “Well...”

  He swung his head around in surprise. Bingo!

  “He wasn’t?”

  Here goes, in the name of honesty.

  “No, but it wasn’t a relationship,” I paused before I stuck the knife in. “Just sex.”

  “Just once?”

  “No,” sticking the knife in deeper, “for a couple of months.” And twisting. "We met at a work thing, when I was still with at LMM, but I've no reason to see him again."

  “Oh.” His face darkened, and for a second I thought he was about to show me the door. As I had been more than loyal in our relationship, he had never had any reason to feel jealous or insecure, but the look on his face was certainly uncalled for.

  “What the fuck, Josh?“ I stood up, furious at his attitude and about to walk out myself. “You left me, remember? What do you expect?” I picked up my bag and stormed towards the door. “Did you seriously think I would sit around and wait for you to get your shit together?”

  “Abby...” He got to me before I grabbed the doorknob, clasped my arm, and pulled me back into a hug, burying my head in the space between his chin and shoulder. “I’m sorry... I’m sorry.” He let out a huge sigh, “It’s just that when you told me about the first guy... I was so... just so trying to keep it together because I know I have no right to get jealous... I just...” He stepped back, letting me go and held his hands up, defeated.

  Tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. In the years we dated, I only saw him cry twice: once when his grandfather passed away and once when we had a fight so huge I had kicked him out of my flat and told him our relationship was over. We made up the next day. Funny thing was I couldn’t even remember what that argument was about. At least we never had to argue about other people, until now. The same feelings of helplessness and despair were forming in the pit of my stomach. I hated those feelings; Josh leaving, discovering Sean was really with Bronwyn, seeing Scott’s arm around Tanya, hearing about his new girlfriend. It was then that I understood Josh’s overreaction. Right now, he and I were a perfect pair-– both broken, upset, and hurt. I traced his face with my eyes. His straight nose with the slight turn at the end and the pale freckles across the bridge, the smattering of stubble along his jaw, the
tiny brown birthmark just in front of his ear, the single dark fleck in his left iris, the way he pursed his lips and frowned when he was thinking too much—all the things that were so familiar to me. Maybe he really was "the one." There must be some reason why he came back; maybe the spell was bringing him to me after all. It was certainly possible that we just needed to spend some time apart to grow in our own ways before we could be together. That sort of thing happened all the time.

  “Listen.” I took his hand. “This is like our first date again, okay? You didn’t care about my past then, so why should you now?”

  “Okay.” His voice was barely a whisper. He wrapped his arms around me and crushed his mouth on mine, again with depth and intimacy. More like a second date. Holding my body against his, his tongue searched my mouth frantically. I could feel his growing hardness against my belly. Okay, third date. I didn’t push his hand away when he moved it from my face and found my nipple through the thin fabric of my dress, my involuntary groan only encouraging him further. We walked as one to the bed-– the one I had been so sure only an hour earlier I would not end up in. By the time he unzipped my dress, we were back to being a couple with years of history.

  "Do you still have that implant in your arm? The contraceptive one?" He asked as he lay me down. "I've got condoms."

  "It doesn't come out for another year, but can we still use a condom?" I didn’t want it to be that familiar again just yet. I shook my head at him and giggled as he pulled my dress off in the way he had done so many times before. "I can't believe you brought condoms."

  "A guy can only hope."

  The next morning I awoke and stretched. My muscles ached in protest, while a lingering soreness between my legs reminded me of the night before. Josh’s hands and mouth had been all over me, hardly giving me any time to think before he took me over the edge again and again. Gone was the predictable Josh of the past. This one was full of surprises.

  He walked out of the bathroom wearing a towel around his waist, and in the light of day, I saw that his body was more defined and muscular.

  “Have you been working out?” I asked, knowing he would be happy I noticed.

  “You’re awake! Yeah, I was a bit bored in Sydney.” He threw off the towel and dived in under the covers next to me. “Are you impressed?”

  “Very.” I squeezed his bulging bicep as he hooked his arm around me and pulled me tight against him.

  “I don’t want to be presumptive, but are we back together now? Or did you just use me for sex?” His voice was jolly, but I couldn’t miss the bitter undertone.

  I stroked his arm. “If we get back together, Josh, we can’t go back to the way we were.”

  His finger traced spirals on my shoulderblade, and he searched my face for what seemed like ages.

  “Let's live together.” He said it so quietly it took a few seconds for his words to register.

  “Are you serious?” I propped myself up on my elbow. Josh seemed to have changed in so many ways; living together had been way off his radar before.

  “I mean it.” His voice was still quiet. “This is me... getting my shit together.” He dotted gentle kisses on my face. “So what do you say?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  THERE WERE THREE APARTMENTS and one townhouse on our list. Josh was calm and happy as we weaved our way through treelined streets to inspect what could possibly be our new home together. The pointy end of Spring had always excited me, the promise of something new being fulfilled and Summer nearly here, and I felt it again as I gazed at the white and pink blossoms along the side of road, especially now that it coincided with my own, personal springtime.

  “You excited?” He squeezed my thigh as he brought the car to a stop outside an apartment block not unlike my current abode.

  I couldn’t help but smile. “Yes.” I leaned over to kiss him, taking in the enthusiasm in his eyes. “House hunting is always fun.”

  “And it would sure beat staying at Troy’s.” He stated, getting out of the car.

  “I bet he’d be happy to have you out?”

  “Why do you think I’ve been staying at your place?" We climbed the first flight of stairs, and he took my hand. “Did they say this was on the second floor?”

  We had picked up the keys from the property manager, and I now unlocked the door of number twelve.

  We were greeted by a sun-filled, open space with ceiling to floor windows at one end. It was only the first inspection of our day, but I was already falling in love. As much as I adored my little one-bedroom home, every apartment we inspected had the promise of change, and of a future-– with Josh.

  He kept hold of my hand as we wandered through the rooms, mentally ticking boxes. I wanted a big kitchen, he wanted a study, and we figured we would go for two bedrooms—a spare should we have guests or, if the past was any indication, were fighting.

  After the long morning, we relaxed in a coffee shop across from the last property manager. My head was crammed with questions: carpet, floorboards, or tiles? Could a double bed fit in the smaller room? Was the kitchen usable and how easy would it be to entertain? Should we apply for any of the places we saw today or should we keep looking?

  Josh stirred sugar into his espresso and flicked through the brochures. “How would it be for you to get to work from the first one?”

  “The last one was closer,” I admitted, “but I think I prefer the living area of the first.”

  “Which did you like the best?”

  I got an upside down view of the papers as he shuffled them. “The third one.” It reminded me of a bigger version of my current flat, plus it was only a short drive to my office, or a reasonable walk. “You?”

  He brought the third brochure to the front and tapped them all on the table to even them up. “I’m happy wherever you’re happy, sweetheart. That’s the one then.”

  “Are you sure?” Whatever happened to the Josh who would have fought me for the one closer to his office (number one and two) or the bigger study nook (number four)? “Why aren’t you arguing with me like you normally would?”

  “As I said, Ab, I want you to be happy.”

  “You have to live there, too, you know.” I smiled.

  “I’ll be there with you." He met my grin. "Besides, after all I did to you, it’s the least I can do.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So how about we go back and fill in the application form before someone else snaps it up?”

  New Home Spell

  Moon Phase: Waxing

  Burn a brown candle, and as it burns, take a piece of paper and write down everything you wish to have in your new home; eg. location, number of bedrooms, price, special features.

  Focus on and visualise yourself living happily in your new home.

  Blow out the candle and thank the universe. Carry the piece of paper with you when you go on your house inspections. Once you have found your dream home, don’t forget to thank the universe.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  WHY I LOVE JOSH:

  Someone who puts this much effort into getting someone back must mean it.

  He’s romantic.

  I know him.

  He knows me.

  On Friday morning, my mood was apparent to everyone in the office. The property manager had just called and told me the contract for the apartment was waiting for us to sign. I told her I would go in that afternoon, and Josh was free all day and would pop in and sign as well.

  “Holy crap, guess who that was!” Rachel exclaimed, slamming the phone down as I passed the front desk. Her blonde curls framed her round, pretty face and her eyes, opened in curiosity, looked larger than ever. “You seem super happy today. What's up?”

  “How about one question at a time.” I pulled an envelope out of my handbag and sat down at my workstation. “I need a coffee. Can I be a real bitch and ask you to get it for me, please? I’ll go next time, I promise. I just need to get this letter out.”

  “Sure.” Rachel was unperturbed
by my request. “But that was Sean on the phone, and I’m not telling you any more until I get back.”

  I placed a ten dollar note in her hand. “Get one for yourself, too.” I said, not sure how to react otherwise. Did I want to know any more about Sean? When Rachel left, I took out the letter from my current property manager and wrote a response:

  Dear Ms Hill,

  Please be advised that I will not be renewing my lease for the above property.

  Yours sincerely,

  Abigail Williams

  Stuff Sean, I thought as I hit the print button. Here I was leaving my current house to move in with my boyfriend, a title that Sean never actually earned. I thought of the last time I saw him, how angry I was at being unknowingly the other woman. Maybe they did break up, and somewhere along the line, got back together. In which case, I was nothing more than a distraction, a band-aid for his Bronwyn shaped wound.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  JOSH SAT AT MY DINING TABLE, typing studiously on his notebook computer, while I sprayed perfume into the air and walked through the mist. "Are you sure you don't want to come out?" I asked, mainly out of politeness rather than really wanting him to.

  "Who did you say was playing?"

  "Reckless Choice; I've seen them a few times now. They're really good. Maybe your entertainment writer might like to check them out."

  He didn’t look up as he spoke. "I've got a lot of work here." I waited for his usual line, and the reason I rarely used to go out, ‘I was hoping you'd keep me company'. But this time, he simply said, "You and Kate have a good time, okay?"

  I bent down and kissed his cheek, still not used to, but beginning to like the new Josh. "Thanks."

  It was déjà vu in an uncomfortable sense when Kate and I walked into Springers. The music was familiar, as was the voice singing, but the crowd had doubled since we were there last. One thing was different; Kate and I weren’t single this time. Her boyfriend was on stage beating the crap out of some drums, and mine was back at my place working and happy for me to head out and leave him to his computer and sports results. It was better, anyway, for him to not witness any awkwardness with Scott that I would later have to explain.