"I love you so much."
"I love you more." I meant every word. We were both smiling widely, and I could just imagine how deliriously stupid we must have looked.
Minutes later, he lay back down, both of us weary with excitement.
"Why'd you stop seeing me?" he asked all of a sudden. We had been making love all night and had not really had a chance to talk.
I paused before I spoke, collecting my thoughts. "Sean said he saw you with someone at PeaSeas, and I realised I had serious feelings for you so I had to call it off."
"Woah, what?" He abruptly sat up. "With someone? That can't be right."
"It was the weekend before I came over and said we couldn't sleep together anymore."
"But I wasn't with anyone else when I was with you." He frowned, his eyes narrowing while trying to remember. God, he looked sexy when he did that.
"I don't think he would have lied about it." I admitted, Sean could certainly bullshit, but I was pretty sure he wouldn't make up something like that, especially since he didn't know then that Scott and I were anything more than friends.
"The only thing I can think of was when I was mucking around with Kate; I had my arm around her and was pretending to kiss her; we were teasing Nathan. It was all of five seconds. Maybe he saw that and got the wrong idea. Believe me, when I say it was just you, it was just you." I was annoyed for a moment, but it wasn’t anyone's fault, and obviously nothing Kate would remember as being important.
"And after me?" I teased my fingers through his sparse chest hairs, immediately regretting the question. Why would I want to know?
"Abby..." he groaned, "it doesn't matter anymore. I'm with you now. I don't care about who you've been with or what you've done, so can we just let it all go?" I could see in his eyes that he had. Tanya... Carolyn... But he was right, he could have been with half the city, and it didn't matter. What was even more important was that my past didn’t matter to him, either. "I went to tell you how I felt, you know." He lay down on his elbow, facing me, tucking my hair behind my ear. The amber flecks in his eyes twinkled against the green.
"Did you? When?"
"The weekend just after we called it off. Your car was there, and I knocked but you were out."
"I was home all weekend." I remembered that weekend well. I was feeling rather despondent about not seeing Scott anymore and to make things worse Josh had called again and wanted to see me. He said he was going to come over. I didn't want to see him so when he knocked...
It wasn't Josh; it was Scott. If only I had opened that door.
"I thought you were Josh," I finished sadly.
"Can I ask what happened with him?"
"Only if I can ask you some things, too."
"Luke said you dumped him."
"I found out that he cheated on me before he went to Sydney."
"Oh shit, really?" Scott rubbed my arm soothingly. "You poor thing, I'm so sorry. Want me to punch his face in?"
"It's okay." I laughed. "The girl Josh cheated with, her name's Jemma. She went home with Luke once, but she fancied you."
"Hmm. Luke's chicks are all the same. Can I honestly say I can't remember?"
I giggled at his reply; fancy Jemma being unmemorable? "So after you knocked, why didn't you come back or call or something?"
"I don't know. I think I talked myself out of it, still telling myself I couldn't have you and the band as well, and thinking I wasn't what you wanted. Especially after the snow trip."
"You know I didn't mean that." I felt myself blush.
"I know that now," he continued, "so I took off to the studio so I could be alone and write. There was a lot of personal stuff I wanted to get off my chest, and I wasn't ready to talk to Luke about it-– stuff about you. Then you were with Sean and I kept reminding myself it was better for the band anyway if I just forgot about you. So I stopped hanging out after gigs. I guess I was worried you'd turn up with him again as it was hard enough seeing you together the first time. Then the guys started asking if I was seeing someone." He stroked my cheek, obviously seeing the distraught look I knew I had on my face. "I admit there were some one night stands."
"You said I could ask."
"Actually, I didn't."
"Scott!"
"Okay, I got trashed a few times and ended up at Tanya's. It was nothing. I was drunk. She was offering—you know how it is. She's kind of like the female version of Luke." I nodded. He ran his thumb along my jaw in a reassuring gesture. "I think she's moved on to another band now. Then there was Carolyn." He sucked in a breath. "She works for one of the television networks. She was kind of full on... and I guess the attention was nice. She promised all this publicity for the band."
"Oh."
"Abby," he sat up, "I need you to know that as much as I want Reckless Choice to be a success, I've realised I don't want to have that if I can't have you, too. I know I said it didn't work out with Bianca for those reasons, and I was basing a lot of it on that, but with you... whatever happens with the band, I don’t care, as long as I have you."
He cradled my cheek in his hand. "Are you sorry you asked now?"
"Yeah, a little," I replied, holding his hand there.
"They honestly didn't mean anything, and I guess I was trying to get over you," he continued. "Not that I could, really. Next thing I knew, you'd finished with Sean and you were back with Josh, so I thought that was the end of it all, and I'd fucked up again and missed my chance, so I had no choice but to move on. Then I saw you the other night, and all I wanted to do was jump off that stage, take you in my arms, and kiss you again." He shook his head, a sad smile on his face, "I couldn't even look at you. It was so hard to sit next to you and not be able to touch you, and I still couldn't watch you with someone else, especially when you were kissing him. And then Kate said you and Josh were moving in together and that nearly killed me, so I just had to get out of there."
"Really?" I kissed the palm of his hand and placed my own hand on his cheek, tracing my thumb over his lips before kissing him long and tenderly. I had no idea that was how he felt; I'd thought his feelings were the exact opposite. "It was hard for me, too. Seeing her kiss you like that," I whispered when I finally pulled away.
"She kissed me. You kissed him. It's different. I didn't expect her to turn up."
"I think it might have been the same amount of pain." I snuggled in closer to him. "Josh wasn't meant to turn up either."
He brushed his lips against my ear, "Then yesterday Luke tells me you dumped Josh, so I saw Carolyn and told her I couldn't see her again. I was going to do it eventually anyway, but I couldn't wait."
"How'd she take it?"
"Really well, actually. I don't think either of us were invested in it on a personal level. I guess, in hindsight, I should have just been honest with you from the start." He twirled a lock of my hair around his finger. "Remember when we had that fight on the way back from the snow?"
I shuddered at the awful memory. All the fights I ever had with Josh combined didn't make me feel as bad as I did that day. "Yeah, not that I want to."
"You said something about how I was doing what I think I should instead of what I really want."
"I vaguely remember; I think I'd blocked out most of it." Where was he going with this?
"Well, I guess it applies to my personal life, too." He gently grasped my hair behind my head and brought his lips to mine. "But we're here now. It doesn't matter."
"I probably should have just taken my own advice," I admitted.
His handsome face turned a deep crimson, and he suddenly went all coy, "So... do you like the song?"
"I love it. It's beautiful!" I told him. I'd listened to it non-stop since I had been told to hear it properly, and I'd fallen completely in love with it. "Kate's unbelievably jealous."
"I wouldn't worry about Kate. Don't say anything, but I think Nathan's working on something for the wedding." He rolled over onto his back. "There's more. I'll have to show you."
"M
ore what? More songs?" I couldn’t believe he was telling me this. "About me?"
"Yep," he said proudly, his eyes twinkling, almost emerald-like. "I was writing for months. There's about forty odd. Most are still a bit rough, but I reckon there's enough for the next album, maybe even after that."
I gaped at him. Forty songs? About me? "So what's with all the talk that I could ruin your career?"
"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Abby." He traced his fingers up and down my arm. "And I don't just mean for my career. You were practically my girlfriend anyway; you even met my mum for god's sake." He laughed and looked around the room. "So what's with all the boxes? Are you still moving?"
"I have to." I sighed. "I terminated my contract, and it's been re-leased so I have to stay at Kate's until I find another place." I ran my finger along the 'RC' on his arm.
Scott narrowed his eyes in that sexy way again. "You can move in with me. The bond wouldn't be much, the rent's okay, and it's got two bedrooms so you could kick me out if I ever pissed you off. I can take some of your stuff today if you like."
"Thanks, but it's fine, really. I'll work something out. Besides, don't you need to talk to Luke first?"
"Luke's my best friend, but we figured we'd kill each other if we work together and have to live in the same house for much longer. Linda's got a granny flat her sister's been renting, but she's just bought a place, so Linda’s offered it to Luke. He's moving out soon anyway. But I'm not asking you to help you." He bit his lip. "I'm asking you because I..." He was gazing at me with sexy eyes again. "I want to wake up like this every day, with you next to me... and come home to you every night." He smiled, giving me an encouraging nod.
I felt a lump in my throat and sat up, turning from him, but my trembling shoulders gave me away.
"Abby, what is it?" He leaned forward and ran his warm hand up and down my naked back.
The tears were falling, but they weren’t the sad, frustrated tears I'd been shedding so much lately.
"I've just had these two really fucked up relationships, and now you're here when I've been in love with you since, gosh I don't know, I guess since the night we met. But I was too scared to tell you because I couldn’t deal with the thought of you rejecting me. And then you were dating someone, and I was really upset about it, because you said you didn't want a relationship, so all I was thinking was, you just didn't want one with me.” I was practically wailing now.
“Come here.” He shuffled over, pulling me into his chest. "Honey, that's not true. Here I was thinking I wasn't good enough for you. I've been in love with you since... actually since you tripped over at the bar at Springers. You were so cute, all flustered, dropping condoms and stuff.”
My laugh was absorbed by a hiccup, but I was unable to stop my ramble, " And now there's this beautiful song you've written for me, and my friends are jealous, and you're telling me there's a whole album's worth. And it doesn't worry you at all that there have been guys since you or that I still have to work with one of them, and you're telling me you love me, and that I'm the best thing to happen to you, and now you're asking me to move in you."
I wiped my eyes with the sheet. "Just like that. Like it's the most natural thing in the world, and you didn't even need to wait for three years."
"Is that okay?" he said into the top of my head, keeping up his gentle stroking on my back.
"It's more than okay." I reached up to kiss him again, only to be interrupted by my phone.
The sms was from Troy:
Hey Abby
Thanks for the chat and your advice. All's great with Melinda now.
Luv ya.
Troy
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
"I’LL HELP YOU PACK," my boyfriend offered, opening an empty box and squatting down in front of my loaded bookshelf.
I emptied the kitchen cupboards, wrapping glasses in newspaper and squashing them into smaller boxes to pack into my car. "Hey, babe, do you think we'll need all of these? Is Luke taking all the crockery or is some of it yours?" No answer. "Scott?"
Turning, I saw him sitting on the couch flicking through one of my books, a wry smile twisting the corners of his mouth. My amusement turned to horror when I realised it was the spell book. He pulled out the pink sheet of paper, scanned his eyes over it, and held it up. "So did it work?"
"Oh God, I'd forgotten about that. If it did, not right away, obviously." I rushed over to grab it from him, embarrassed.
"I don't know..." He pointed to the date I had scrawled on the top corner. "You did this the night before we met."
I took the paper and examined it. It had mostly faded to an almost cream colour, and the black ink was smudged in places where it had been dampened by steam when it was sitting beside the bath. I crumpled it up. "Maybe it worked, maybe it didn't."
Maybe I was the best person for the job at Avalon.
Maybe I deserved a pay raise.
Maybe I would have met Scott anyway.
Maybe he really was in love with me, and it had nothing to do with candles, and herbs, and the universe.
"I think I'll stop with the spells now." I threw the piece of paper into the bin and made us both a hot drink.
'Hottest Hits Now" was showing on the TV. The guy that replaced Robbie Myers was raving about some 'fabulous' new artist.
"Oh, that's a shame you want to stop," Scott said, taking his mug from me, "seeing as it worked, I thought you could probably do one to make Reckless Choice sell millions of albums so we can be rich and famous, and I can keep my girl in the lifestyle she would become accustomed." He pushed a box aside with his foot so I could sit down next to him; then he put his arm around me and planted a kiss on my cheek.
"Uh..." I was glued to the TV. "I don't think you need my help." Scott followed my gaze. The video they had been working on spilled across the screen. I gasped as a ticker running underneath announced that the song—my song—had debuted at number one, and the pre-sales figures for their album already had it in the top ten. I felt Scott's eyes on me.
"What? I didn't do anything. Honest."
"Yes, you did." He chuckled, his mouth brushing over my cheek again. "That song never would have existed without you"
I nodded at the TV. "You guys really deserve this." He took the mug from me and sat both drinks gently on the coffee table before pulling me to him. He smiled happily before crushing his lips on mine once more.
It was the best feeling!
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