Apophis

by Eliza Lentzski

I didn’t think the cafeteria area ever got crowded enough to warrant saved seats, but I kept my comment to myself. I nodded again instead. “See you later, Ryan.”

  +++++

  I didn’t have a plan for the rest of the afternoon since I hadn’t yet been assigned a job, but I didn’t want to be stuck playing ping-pong and video games with Ryan all day. Plus, I hadn’t explored the rest of the compound and I was curious what else was available to us besides ping-pong, video games, and food. So far, Hot Springs resembled a horrible man-cave or a fraternity house.

  I stopped over at the women’s bunks to see if Nora had hidden herself away there. I didn’t find her back at our bunk or taking another shower, but I wasn’t too worried. If she’d wandered off, I was confident she could find her way back. This place wasn’t that big.

  I eventually found her in the library. The room was smaller than the recreation room, but larger than Dr. Allyse’s office. I wondered why Hot Springs needed a library, but I guess it made sense, what with the town’s mayor being a former college professor. Most of the books looked like they were fiction, but there were some nonfiction science tomes on the shelves as well. Besides the books, a few lumpy-looking futons and couches filled up the room.

  Nora was sitting on one of the worn couches. The hardcover book in her hands was missing its dust jacket, so I couldn’t immediately place its title. That Nora might read something other than fashion magazines or one of those trashy gossip rags was honestly a surprise. I knew she’d gone to college and had some fancy degree in something that sounded smart, but she seemed to me the kind of girl who preferred US Weekly.

  I sat down next to her. When the couch cushions depressed, her eyebrows crinkled together, forming a deep ridge between her eyes. “There’s other empty couches in here,” she muttered out of the corner of her mouth. She turned the page of her book and didn’t bother to look over in my direction.

  “Maybe I just wanted to cuddle,” I retorted. There were a handful of other people in the room, and I didn’t know what etiquette was in a bomb shelter library, so I kept my tone low so as to not draw attention to our couch.

  Her eyes snapped off the page and she twisted her neck so quickly I was worried she’d given herself whiplash. From the way the hard look softened when our eyes met it was clear she hadn’t realized I was the one who’d sat down beside her. Her guard only relaxed for a moment though. The softness that came with recognition disappeared in favor of distain. “Where’s that boy that’s been following you around like a lovesick puppy?”

  I rolled my eyes. I didn’t know why she was acting so stiff and inconvenienced today. It would take someone with far more patience than I had to figure this girl out. “His name is Ryan,” I emphasized. “And he’s not lovesick,” I protested. “I’m sure he’s just lonely for more people his own age.”

  “I’m his own age, too,” she mumbled.

  “And if you’d remove that stick from your ass long enough, all three of us could hang out.”

  She met my gaze briefly. “I’m not interested in a threesome, Sam,” she said in a chilled tone. She turned back to her book and resumed reading.

  “You’re never going to make any friends here with that attitude,” I pointed out.

  Her eyes rolled in the back of her head in a hyper-exaggerated motion. “I don’t need friends,” she said, still paying more attention to her book than me. “My dad and I are leaving this place as soon as he feels better.”

  “When?” My voice cracked a little.

  “He wants to wait a few more days to get back to full health, but then we’re heading out for Eden.”

  “Oh.” I chewed on my lower lip. I hadn’t talked to my dad about going to Eden with them yet, but I didn’t need to – I could anticipate his answer. It was too dangerous. We had a good thing here.

  “What are you reading?” I asked.

  “Nothing you’ve ever read, Fargo.”

  At her words, I stood up. I wasn’t going to let her insult my intelligence or my home state. I might not have been able to go to college and maybe North Dakota wasn’t the most glamorous place, but I loved it and its people. I could feel the alarming prick of hot tears threatening to spill from the corners of my eyes and fuck it all if I was going to let her see me cry. I didn’t know why I was getting so emotional, but I guess her calling me, “Fargo,” like it was something I should be ashamed of had really gotten to me. I only stopped from storming out when I felt her cool fingers close around my wrist.

  “I’m sorry, Sam.” Her aquamarine eyes were fierce, yet apologetic. “I get rude and inappropriate when I’m uncomfortable.”

  “That must be all the time then,” I shot at her. I knew it was a mean thing to say, but I’d had it with this girl and her flip-flopping attitude. I was tired of trying so damn hard to be civil when she clearly didn’t care to do the same.

  Her blue eyes bore into me. “Ever since you and your dad saved us from those bandits, I’ve been existing in a state of disequilibrium.”

  Even under the library’s unflattering halogen light, which should have made her freckled face look washed out and sickly, she somehow managed that enviable, fresh and rosy cheeked complexion. I thought she looked beautiful, but I dismissed it for jealousy. I was as pale as she was and I always looked translucent – a little blue, even.

  “Well, you don’t have to take it out on me,” I pointed out sourly. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

  “Except be the cause of my disequilibrium.”

  “What?”

  She broke eye contact. “Nothing. You’re right,” she said, only finally letting go of my wrist so she could pick at the frayed threads on the worn couch cushions. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

  I stood there, awkwardly, not sure of what to do. I had been so ready for a dramatic exit, but now her vulnerability made me want to stick around a little longer.

  “Do you want to go to dinner with me tonight?” I felt my face flush as soon as the words came out. I was just trying to be polite and make her feel more included, but it came out sounding like I was asking her out on a date.

  “Thanks, but I’ll probably just bring a tray of food to my dad in the infirmary and eat with him.”

  “He’s in the infirmary?” I hadn’t seen Mr. West since his chess game with my dad yesterday, but I hadn’t really worried about his absence. I hadn’t seen much of either of them since we’d found this place.

  Nora nodded. “He’s staying there for observation or something. Dr. Allyse thinks his head injury is worse than just a concussion or something.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  She shrugged. “It’s not your fault. Speaking of the doctor, how’s your ankle?” she asked, nodding toward my foot. “Is she gonna have to amputate it?”

  “It’s okay. The air cast has helped a lot.”

  “I’m still really annoyed that they couldn’t x-ray it for you,” she frowned. She finally closed her book and set it on her lap.

  “I know you are,” I observed. “I think you’re more concerned about my ankle than I am.”

  “You should be worried. All we have is our health.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I insisted. “I just need time to heal.”

  Nora shook her head. “Time is the one thing we don’t have, Sammy.”

  I made a face. “Why do you insist on calling me ‘Sammy’ when you know I hate it?”

  She gave me a goofy grin that looked out of place on her recently stoical features. “I think you just answered your own question.”

  +++++

  After dinner that night, I had to stick around the cafeteria. Everyone had to contribute if they wanted to continue living in Hot Springs, and it was my turn to help out in the kitchen. Normally I hated any kind of domestic task, but I figured that having something tangibly useful to do would break up the monotony of days underground. I would go crazy just playing board games and reading books all day. Ryan was also assigned to the kitchen that night. Before Apophis, hi
s mom had been the head cook at the public school. Now, she was in charge of the daily menu for the people of Hot Springs.

  The mountains of food they’d amassed were impressive. I saw an entire room filled with giant bags of rice and another room whose deep shelves were lined with more canned goods than I’d ever seen in my life. And those were just two of the stock rooms. Ryan told me there were entire bunkers elsewhere filled with other foodstuffs.

  I plucked a tin can from a shelf and turned it so the label faced forward. “You guys have Jack ‘n Jill in Montana, too?” I asked, recognizing the label. “I thought that was just a North Dakota grocery chain.”

  Ryan didn’t look up from his peeling. “I don't know,” he grunted. “Never been. Hey, you wanna grab a knife and a bucket and help me out?”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Do I have to?” I’d just finished loading a literal mountain of dishes into one of those giant dishwashing machines you find in industrial kitchens. Ryan had been hand-peeling potatoes for the better part of an hour.

  I grabbed an empty bucket and flipped it upside down so I could sit on it.

  Ryan opened a drawer beside him and pulled a knife out for me. “You should feel lucky my mom’s giving you a try-out in the kitchen,” he said. “Kitchen duty is the best.”

  “And why is it the best?” I questioned.

  “Well, besides getting to hang out with me,” he grinned, “you also get a say in that day’s meals. And you can sneak some food when no one’s watching. Just not too much. The walls have eyes,” he warned with an ominous chuckle. “Although I don’t know if my mom will want to take you on full-time,” he added. “I've gotten through three potatoes and you’re still on your first one.”

  “Hey,” I protested. “It’s hard work. And you gave me a dull knife.”

  “Uh huh,” he snorted, flipping another peeled potato into one of the gleaming silver pots.

  “I can’t believe we’re going to have mashed potatoes tomorrow.”

  "Not if you keep butchering that potato. Just shave off a little of the peel,” Ryan corrected my technique. “This stuff doesn’t grow on trees, you know.”

  “Where did all these potatoes come from? Do you guys have an underground farm or something?” Back in Williston we had run out of produce only a few months into the Frost. Root vegetables like potatoes, onions, carrots, and radishes had kept longer in the basement, but we were nearly two years into this deep freeze and these potatoes looked like they’d just been dug up. “And how have you guys managed to feed over 500 people, three times a day for this long?”

  “I don’t know,” Ryan said, unaffected. “Food shows up and we cook it.”

  “And you’re not curious?”

  Ryan stopped peeling. “I'm just happy to be alive.” His dark brown eyes regarded me. “Maybe I should ask questions, but maybe I won’t like the answers.” He tilted his head back down and resumed peeling.

  I bit my tongue after his solemn answer and focused my attention on the potato in my hand. When I was little I used to eat raw potatoes like they were apples. My grandma finally had to lie and tell me that they were poisonous so I’d stop raiding her root cellar.

  “Damn it!” I hissed out a curse. The knife had slipped and I now had a deep gash on my palm.

  “What’d you do?”

  I shook my hand out and winced at the pain. “I cut my hand on that damn knife.”

  Ryan smirked. “Guess it wasn’t so dull after all.”

  I shook my good fist at him. “Watch it, buddy.”

  “Go find Dr. Allyse to patch you up. I’m sure everyone will appreciate it if you don’t bleed all over the potatoes.”

  I curled my lip at him, but didn’t snark back at him. The cut wasn’t that bad, but if it got me out of potato duty, I was more than happy to find the doctor.

  +++++

  When I got to the infirmary, Dr. Allyse wasn’t there. The hospital, in fact, was completely empty. I sat for a few minutes on one of the cots, waiting for her to return, but when she didn’t show up I took to the task of finding a bandage for myself. I found what I thought might be a storage closet and pushed the door open. I pushed a little too hard though, and the door slammed noisily against a plaster wall.

  Inside, sitting on one of the cots, was Nora. She looked justifiably startled by my abrupt entrance. “Sorry,” I apologized with an embarrassed smile. “I was just looking for Band-Aids.”

  She turned her back to me and vigorously wiped at her eyes. “It’s okay,” she choked, clearing out a lump from her throat. “I think I saw some over there.”

  I flicked my eyes to the indicated corner and nodded curtly when I saw a shelf of gauze and rubbing alcohol. “Good call,” I approved, walking more fully into the room and striding over to the shelving unit.

  I heard Nora shuffling around on the cot. “D-did you, uh, hurt yourself?” she sputtered out. “You’re kind of accident prone, aren’t you?”

  I scanned the stacks of medical supplies, not sure what I needed. “Kind of sliced my hand open peeling potatoes.”

  “You cut your hand on a potato?” Nora’s voice sounded rough. I’d noticed she’d been crying when I first walked in, but I didn’t want to make a big deal about it.

  “On the knife that I was using to cut the potato,” I clarified. I grabbed a roll of gauze and some medical tape. “I don’t think they’re hiding razors in the potatoes. It’s not prison, after all.” I spun on my heels and headed back to the infirmary door. I paused, however, as I walked past Nora, still seated on the cot. “Hey,” I said, an eyebrow creeping up my forehead. “Are you okay? You look a little…uh…soggy.”

  Nora inhaled sharply through her nose. She grimaced when her nostrils made an unattractive sound. “I’m fine,” she said, waiving a dismissive hand.

  I hesitated at the doorway and felt my body twitch as indecision flooded me. Do I stay or do I go?

  Finally, I pushed a deep breath out of my lungs and sat down next to Nora, who continued to quietly sniffle. “Spill it,” I grunted, my injury momentarily forgotten. “What’s up?”

  Nora bit her bottom lip. “No really, I’m fine,” she wetly lied. A new batch of salty tears sprung to her eyes, and she hastily wiped them away with the backs of her hands.

  I frowned. “Uh huh,” I rasped, my voice not unkind. “I don’t think you’re fine.”

  Nora’s slender shoulders slumped forward. The silent tears fell freely now, creating small wet spots on her pants.

  “Nora, whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll turn out fine.” I smiled, even though I knew she wasn’t looking at my face. “Even if Eden doesn’t exist,” I guessed, “at least we found this place.” I placed a hesitant hand in the small of her back.

  Although I meant for my words to comfort and reassure, Nora’s frail body shook harder. “Shit,” I grumbled. I dropped my hand to my side and stared at the floor. I knew I was bad at consoling people, but I hadn’t realized I was that bad.

  “I-I’m sorry,” she gasped between choking sobs. “I know you’re just trying to help.” She wiped uselessly at her dripping nose with the sleeve of her shirt. A long strand of mucus stuck to the cotton material. “Oh, gross,” she mumbled, making a disgusted face.

  I chuckled lowly. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone that you’ve got snot like the rest of us.” I winked playfully. “It’ll be our little secret.”

  Nora laughed a wet giggle and I exhaled. She looked down at the sleeves of her shirt whose arms were streaked with unmentionables and what looked like black mascara. “Well this shirt is ruined,” she muttered. Her hands went to the bottom hem of her top and she began to yank the shirt off of her torso.

  “What the—” I sputtered from my seat besides her. My eyes went wide as I watched Nora awkwardly yank her shirt over her head.

  Nora looked perplexed. “What?” she asked, looking down at the tank top that had been hidden beneath her long-sleeved top. “I’ve got layers on, Sammy,” she smirked, momentarily forgetting her an
gst. “I wasn’t giving you a free show.”

  I felt flustered. “Yeah, well, not like I was worried or anything. Nothing you’ve got that I haven’t seen before,” I mumbled, trying to slip on a mask of nonchalance.

  “I’ve seen much more of you, anyway,” Nora noted.

  I cleared my throat uncomfortably, but didn’t acknowledge the truth to her statement.

  Silence fell once again between us. Nora sighed deeply and swung her legs back and forth. “Your hand still cut?” she muttered, glancing sideways at me.

  I blinked hard, momentarily confused and then stared down at my hand. A long gash in the palm of my left hand stared back at me. It was a shallow cut and had stopped bleeding soon after I’d cut it. “Oh, right,” I said, shaking my head slightly.

  “Want me to fix it for you?” she offered, turning on the cot.

  “Uh, sure,” I shrugged. I stuck my hand out and slightly shivered when she took my hand in her own.

  Nora chewed on her bottom lip and busied herself with the medical gauze. The cut wasn’t anything that would require stitches, but it was probably a good idea to cover the wound to keep out infection. “There,” she breathed when she was satisfied with the patch-up job. “Good as new.”

  I stared down at my hand and flexed my fingers around the tidy swatch of gauze and medical tape. “Nice job,” I approved. “You should ask Dr. Allyse if she needs help around here. You’re a pretty decent nurse.”

  Nora sighed deeply. “Yeah, my career options are wide open.”

  I stood up from the cot and stretched my legs. “Well, I should probably get back to the kitchen.” I jerked her head toward the door. “Don’t want Ryan thinking I’m a slacker or something for not pulling my weight.”

  Nora remained seated and nodded. “Yeah. Wouldn’t want that to happen,” she said dully.

  I chewed on my lower lip, still tempted to say something about her previous tears, but instead I turned and made for the storage room’s exit.

  “Sam?”

  I paused and turned my head over my shoulder. “Yeah?”