Outbound Lane An Unspoken Truth Novella (Unspoken Truth Series)

by Renea Porter

  Aren’t we too old for Carnivals?

  What? Heck no. I’ll be by in a few to pick you up. We can make a day of it. I’ll be on my best behavior, he says.

  Okay, I text back and grin.

  I throw the sheets back and get in the shower. Since we are going to a Carnival, I figure shorts and a tank top is perfect attire for such a thing. Even though I haven’t been to one since I was very small. I just remember being scared of the clown that was there and I cried.

  I pull my long hair into a ponytail, and hopefully my simple attire, no makeup face doesn’t scare Cole off right away. I laugh at such a thought. I was so glad to hear from Renee and to tell her about Cole. This has been what she has been pushing for, for so long; for us to get together. I’ll admit Cole is a good guy just as she predicted, but I fear something lurks in the corners. Isn’t that how it always works? Like maybe life is too good.

  A knock at the door disrupts my thoughts. I swing the door open and greet Cole with a smile. “Hey there. Come on in. You like coffee? I can get us some to go,” I say as he follows me to the kitchen.

  “Sure, sounds great.” He leans against the counter and watches me. I bite my lip at how sexy he looks.

  “Is it weird that I have to-go Styrofoam cups?” I ask as I pour us each a coffee.

  “No, you are just prepared. You know how much coffee costs at those coffee shops? It’s ridiculous,” he says.

  “I know, right. Creamer is there and sugar is in there,” I point.

  “So yeah, thanks.” He swirls his coffee with a thin straw after he tailors it to his taste.

  “No problem. You ready to go?” I ask.

  “Whenever you are.”

  I grab my purse and we head out the door with our coffees in hand. “I’m actually excited about today. But just so you know, clowns freak the heck out of me.”

  “Alright, I will keep that in mind. I’ll keep you safe.” He grins.

  I can’t believe we are on a second date already. It seems so surreal, and I really like Cole. A lot. “So why don’t you tell me about yourself? I feel like I do all the talking,” I tell him as he drives to the Carnival.

  “Well, I’m in my third year of college, as you already know. I’m the only child of my parents. Chase is my cousin; you might have heard that already from Renee. And I transferred here so I could be here for him while he dealt with his loss of Amber. We are pretty tight and look out for each other. We’re practically like brothers, even if he is a year older than me. My family is pretty laid back, and my dad has his own restaurant he runs. Chase and I worked there every summer,” he tells me. “Your turn.”

  “I’m an only child as well. I had an eating disorder due to the traumatic event that happened to me awhile back. But I am improving with each day that passes. And you are the first guy I have ever trusted enough to go out with,” I tell him.

  “I’m glad you are able to open up about stuff with me and trust me. I know we have been friends for a while. All I ask is that you give me a chance. I’ll never betray your trust. And if you ever need me at a moment’s notice, you can count on me to be there for you.”

  His words touch me, in such a way that it makes me speechless. And I swoon. Finally I find the words to speak. “I really appreciate that. And I may take you up on that offer if I ever need you.” Not only does his personality astound me, but his looks turn me out. I open up to him like I’ve known him years, and I trust him when he says I can. But in the back of my mind, it just seems to be too good to be true.

  He pulls into the parking lot and parks his truck at the Carnival. Already, I can see the sea of people bustling around the rides and it makes me nervous. I wish Cole could hold my hand and let me know it’s okay, but it doesn’t work like that in my world. “What do you want to tackle first; Merry Go Round?” Cole asks.

  “Yes, let’s do that.” Instead of sitting on one of the benches next to Cole, I jump on one of the horses and Cole gets on the one next to me. The ride starts and plays the music as we go around in circles. I let a giggle out. We go around and round, and the light breeze blows through my hair. When the ride stops, Cole is next to me in an instant, like he wants to help me off the ride. But then I see it in his eyes. He remembers I don’t like to be touched, even though I want it. I want to feel his fingers entwined with mine, letting me know everything is okay. I want to feel his lips pressed against mine, making me forget about my past. But I wouldn’t want to cause a scene if I did freak out.

  Next, Cole decides to play a few of the games and ends up winning me a medium size teddy bear. It was really cute watching him try to win me something. Again, another first for us, of which I’m sure we will have many more. Something about him is so genuine.

  “What to get a hotdog or something?” he asks, adjusting his ball cap.

  “Sure,” I say. The hot sun beats down on us, and I just want something refreshing to quench my thirst. My stomach grumbles, making me realize I may just be a tad bit hungry as well.

  We both order lemonades, hotdogs, and fries. We take a seat at one of the available picnic tables and sip from our lemonades it’s so refreshing.

  After we eat, we walk around the carnival grounds for a bit, letting the food digest, then we decide on doing the Ferris wheel. We wait in line and the guy running the ride holds the seat as we get in and he locks us in. I offer a smile.

  “Are you scared of heights?” Cole asks as he turns toward me.

  “Heck no. Are you?” I ask.

  “Heck no,” he mocks, adding his wicked grin.

  We keep moving and stopping as people get on the ride. Then it starts spinning around and around continuously. And of course, as if right on cue, we stop at the very top. I can see all the people below us, and they look so small. I just people watch from above. If this were a movie, Cole and I would lock eyes and I would have the most amazing kiss that I’ve ever had. But this is the real world, and things like that don’t happen in the real world. If only I could just be normal. Once we make our way down, we head over to the Tilt-A-Whirl and ride that. By nightfall, we have ridden just about every adult ride.

  “Want to get a cotton candy to share and people watch for a bit?” Cole asks as we walk around the park.

  The rides are all lit up and I love the way it looks in the dark. We keep passing the fun house and I’m glad because I refuse to go inside.

  We approach the food truck, and Cole orders a cotton candy and drinks for us. “Please let me treat,” I tell him.

  “No; I asked you out and I’m happy to pay,” he reaches for his wallet and pays, and then hands me a drink. We find a picnic table and he sits next to me this time, instead of across from me and we share the cotton candy. “Are you having fun?”

  “Absolutely. I haven’t had this much fun in a long time. Thanks,” I say, grabbing some sticky cotton candy.

  “Me too. It’s always better to have someone to ride the rides with,” he offers. We watch as giggling children run by us and the families pushing the young ones in the strollers follow. Suddenly, a loud crackling noise startles me until I realize it’s fireworks going off.

  We continue to sit and watch the fireworks burst into the sky, producing a rainbow of colors and glittering into thin air. People ooh and ah over the fireworks as they burst into the sky. We watch until the show is over. “Are you ready to go?” Cole asks as we watch the last of the color burst and finish the cotton candy.

  “I am. I had a great time.”

  “Me too.” He smiles bright, causing my heart to pitter patter.

  He helps me into the truck and the night air is cool as a breeze blows through. We roll the windows down as he drives me back to the apartment. Being with him is becoming easier, and my wall is breaking down little by little. I make a mental note to get with my counselor, Leah, soon to see what we can do about my touchiness.

  Cole insists on walking me to the door, ever so gentlemanly. He respects me and I appreciate it. He gives me the space I need, yet he gives me
the friendship with no strings attached. I put the key into the door knob and bid Cole goodbye. He stands watching me turn the key to go into my apartment. But someone races out of my apartment and Cole takes off after him as he brushes past us.

  “Call 911 now!” Cole yells as he holds the guy down at the bottom of the stairs. I hear commotion as he tousles with the guy. I call 911 and tell them I had an intruder in my apartment and Cole has him pinned down. After I get off the phone, it shocks me to the core, who I find Cole holding down. My heart leaps to the floor.

  Chapter Three

  IT’S THE ASSHOLE of a monster that sexually molested me all those years. I throw my leg back and give him a swift kick in the nuts, not once, but twice and hard. He winces in pain and Cole looks at me, shocked. I pull the guy’s head up so I can look into his eyes. “How did that feel? Good, huh? Stupid mother fucker! I’m going to get a restraining order against you and I hope they put you away for a very long time.” By the time I’m done with my spiel the cops arrive, and we tell them what happened. As soon as Cole lets up, the mother fucker pops Cole in the lip, making it bleed, and the cops hall him into their car.

  The adrenaline running through me is insane, and it’s not something I’m used to, as my heart beats so fast, being reminded over and over again about my past. It will never go away. Then my chest tightens as I bend over and try to breathe. I slowly make my way back to my apartment.

  I cover my mouth as I look around and I’m just too shocked for words. The apartment is completely trashed; the living room trashed, the kitchen trashed.

  “Why would someone do this?” Cole asks, just as shocked as I am.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know.” I keep repeating it. My apartment is no longer my sanctuary, no longer my safe place of solitude.

  “You can’t stay here,” Cole states.

  I run my hand over my hair, and just can’t believe HE was in MY apartment. The cops take a report and look around the apartment, as well as taking pictures of the scene. It seriously scares me.

  They assure me that they will keep me posted. I see the police out and thank them.

  I watch as Cole goes into my room, which has been untouched and he starts throwing my clothes in a bag. “What are you doing?” I ask, confused.

  “You can’t stay here, Alexis. It’s not safe. You can stay with me,” he says in a huff.

  “Slow down, I’m sure he won’t be making another appearance after this. I’ll be okay here. This is my apartment, and I’ll be damned if they think they can run me off.” The truth is I’m scared shitless, but the thought of staying with Cole frightens me even more. But I don’t want him to know that. “Let me get a look at that bloodied lip.” I motion for him to follow me to the kitchen. I pull out a small first aid kit and I sit on the counter while he sits on the stool in front of me.

  I tilt his chin up with my finger, and clean the cut. “He got you good.” I smile. I dab some ointment on a cotton ball and dab his lip.

  “It was worth it,” he says with a serious tone. And for that split second, our eyes lock and I feel the electricity buzzing between us. His eyes look down at my lips and I look at his. It would be the perfect time to let him kiss me, if this were a movie. I pull away and clear my throat. I open a butterfly bandage and place it on his lip.

  “There, all better now.” I hop down from the counter and my heart is beating so fast, and it’s all Cole’s doing. Him and his damn lips.

  “Listen to me. You can’t stay here.” He spins around on the stool while I put the first aid kit away. “I’ll be damned if I walk out of here without you coming with me. I have the house to myself for the whole summer. So I don’t know why you are so stubborn about this.”

  “Cole. Do you know what you are asking of me? I mean, do you really? We haven’t even had time to establish what this is between us, and I’ll be damned if I become a burden to you.”

  “You will be the farthest thing from a burden. I guarantee you that. You can sleep in my room, and before you say anything, I will stay in Layne’s room. I’ll be on my best behavior.” He crosses his heart.

  I sigh heavily and sit on the edge of my bed. Can I trust Cole? If I can’t trust Cole, who can I really trust? “I don’t know, Cole.” I shake my head.

  He stands. “Well, I know. And there is one thing we should get out of the way,” he whispers, stepping close to me. Oh god, he is going to do it and I won’t stop him.

  “What is that?” I ask, testing him.

  He steps closer, closing the distance between us, letting me know what is coming. His face is mere centimeters from mine. He cups my face, and looks deeply into my eyes as if he can see into my soul. I think I stop breathing, fearing if I do, it’ll all end up being a dream. He takes his time, moving closer and closer. And then it happens; he kisses me. It’s a long lingering peck, but still a kiss. First kiss, check. His lips feel as good as I had imagined and hoped they would. Oh god. I’m a goner. Be steady, my heart.

  Nonchalantly, he sits and motions for me to sit next to him. I’m drunk from the kiss and he wants me to move from this exact spot. Finally, willing my feet to move, I sit on the stool next to him, still in a drunken haze. He turns to me. “I can keep you safe, and you can keep me company.” He flashes a weak smile, trying to convince me.

  “We just kissed,” is all I can say, stunned.

  “Yes we did.” He grins. “I’ve been dying to do that since we met. And, you didn’t freak out. Like I was saying, you are moving in with me.”

  “Well, when you say it like that…” I smile.

  “See, I knew you would see reason. Plus, I wasn’t leaving this apartment without you. If I had to carry you out myself, I would have.”

  I guess Cole has a huge alpha streak in him. I can’t say that I don’t like it, it’s kind of hot.

  “Well, I’ll go, but there will be boundaries and the minute you make me mistrust you, I’m out,” I say, half serious, half joking.

  He throws his hands up. “I would never make you mistrust me. By the end of the summer, you’ll see I’m a good guy. People don’t just fuck with my friends and get away with it.”

  “Okay then. Think maybe you can help me clean some of this up before we leave?”

  “Yes. I still can’t believe he broke in here and did this,” he says.

  “Remember when I said something traumatic happened to me? He is the reason. But I can’t talk about it right now,” I tell him, holding back the tears.

  “You don’t owe me an explanation. I figured it had to be something really bad. You can tell me when you are ready. I’m not going anywhere,” he says. “Remind me never to fuck you over. I bet that shit hurt when you kicked him.”

  I shrug my shoulder. “He deserved it.”

  I go grab a trash bag from the kitchen and I just want to cry. But I refuse to go back into my dark place. Cole and I start picking up trash and I think about how Cole and I are about to get a lot closer than I anticipated. This shouldn’t be happening; everything was going good, and then BAM! shit hits the fan. “How come every time I take a step forward, I end up taking two steps back?”

  Cole stops picking up the trash and looks at me. “I don’t know. Sometimes we are dealt shit cards. I wish I could hold you and tell you everything will be okay, but I can’t, for more than one reason. But I won’t let anyone hurt you. We’ve known each other, what, almost a year now? I’ve come to like you a lot, and I just want to make sure you are safe.” He shoves his hands in his jean pockets.

  “I’m going to throw caution to the wind, and let you. I’m going to trust you because right now, that’s all I’ve got. My best friend up and left me and you’re all I’ve got.” I can’t believe those words leave my mouth. But the fact is Cole is the only person I have right now. And I know he would be there for me, whenever I need him. I just have to trust the fact that he is good. I just have to survive the next twenty four hours alone with Cole, and then I can see my counselor and talk to her about everything.


  “Stop worrying about it.” He smirks, knowing my mind is going a mile a minute. “Everything will be okay. I promise. I think we cleaned it up pretty good and it’s almost good as new. We should go.”

  “Give me that bag. I need to make sure you packed everything I need.” I smile and take the bag back to my room. I open it and throw in extra pairs of underwear and decent pajamas. A girl can never be too prepared. I walk back out to the living room and meet Cole. “Okay, I’m ready now.” I paint a happy face, even though inside I’m still scared. What if someone is out to hurt me? Will Cole really be able to keep me safe? Will the darkness lift?

  “I’ll take that.” He takes my bag from me and we walk down to his truck. He throws my bag in the back and I slide in the passenger seat. “Just try to relax,” he reassures me as he gets into the truck.

  “I can’t guarantee anything, but I’ll try,” I tell him, giving him a weak smile.

  “Everything will work itself out,” he says.

  I believe him. I have to. I have to believe him. He’s all I have in this moment and just maybe something more will come out of this darkness that surrounds me, and the darkness that haunts my dreams and my past.

  He pulls into the driveway of his house, and my stomach twists in knots. I don’t know why I’m so scared. I go from never kissing a boy to living with one. How is that for ironic? Pretty freakin’ ironic if you ask me. He picks up my bag from the back of the truck and leads the way inside. “The guys are all gone for the summer. Guess they went home or some shit. So you don’t have to worry about anything. I won’t be having any parties like Layne did either. It’s not my scene, anyway.

  When we walk in, it leads right into the living room and it’s very spacious with a flat screen TV mounted on the wall, and a sectional tan suede couch across from it and end tables on each side. The living room leads right into the kitchen; it’s medium size, with your basic appliances and an island with stools to sit on. There is sliding glass doors in the kitchen that lead you outside. “Want something to drink? We have soda, water, beer.”