Undone (Vampire Awakenings, Book 5)

by Brenda K. Davies

  He crawled toward his daughters and wife and slid his hand into Beatrice’s when she called for him. He wrapped his hand around hers as the burst of strength faded away, and he fell to the ground. Darkness surged up to claim him.

  ***

  Brian jolted awake; his heart hammered in his chest as memories of that unbearable night replayed in his mind. He lay quietly, quaking as he fought against the bloodlust and loss that always came with the nightmare—a nightmare he’d had countless times over the nearly two centuries that had passed since the murder of his family.

  Sweat beaded on his brow and slid down his cheek. In the beginning, he would wake crying in the night before the rage took over, but after the first fifty years, the tears had dried and stopped falling. The sorrow remained lodged in his throat; he could clearly recall the feel of Beatrice’s small hand in his, and Trudy’s warm breath against his neck. He could live a thousand years and never forget either of those things.

  His fangs slid free, and his hands tore into the sheets beneath him as the urge to kill overwhelmed him. He rolled over to leap out of bed and go in search of some vampire who deserved a good ass-kicking followed by a brutal death. It didn’t matter that the sun was shining; he’d find a vampire to kill somewhere.

  He froze when his eyes landed on Abby, curled on her side with her blonde hair tumbling about her bare shoulders. Some of his wrath faded as he watched her sleeping peacefully, her breathing slow and even as she trustingly lay by his side, so unaware of the monster she’d allowed into her bed. Her lips were still swollen from his kisses.

  If she had any idea what was going on inside him right now, she’d run screaming.

  If he left her alone and unprotected while he went out and found his release, she would be vulnerable to attack. He couldn’t do that to her. He’d already failed those he cared about once before; he would not fail her.

  She was the first thing in centuries that felt right and good. The first thing that had made life bearable for him again. When he was with her, he wasn’t consumed by a thirst for revenge and murder. He wasn’t constantly looking for a way to ease the rage that had been consuming him since he’d been turned into a vamp all those years ago.

  With her, he could almost believe he might have a chance to be happy again. He didn’t dare get his hopes up. He knew how cruel and unpredictable life could be, but she’d brought peace and solace to him when he’d never thought to feel either of those two things again.

  Rising to his feet, he paced over to the door. The warm air of the room drifted across his bare flesh as he moved. He rested his hands against the door as he struggled to shake the lingering images of the nightmare from his head. When he’d first been turned, he’d had the nightmare every night. Over the years, it had dwindled down to only a couple times a month. He hadn’t had it at all since Abby had called him, but he should have known it was only a matter of time before it returned.

  Walking back into the bedroom, he stopped to stare at her again. He kept waiting for the guilt to set in, but it hadn’t come yet.

  Maybe it was because they hadn’t had sex yet, but they would. He had no doubt in his mind about that. No, the reason the guilt hadn’t come was because she was different from any of the other women he’d ever been with, but then they both already knew that. The guilt would not come with her, because she belonged to him.

  He’d failed his family all those years ago. He deserved to relive it over and over again; he didn’t deserve the peace Abby gave to him. Even so, he was never going to let her go. He’d do whatever he could to keep her protected.

  Walking over to the sofa, he pulled it down from where he’d set it on its side earlier. He couldn’t bring himself to crawl into bed with her again when he was still so geared up for the kill. He didn’t want her to see this side of him. He feared she’d take one look at him in his current state and know what he truly was, a coldhearted murderer.

  CHAPTER 17

  The sun was barely filtering around the edges of the drapes when Abby woke late the next day. She’d never felt so exhausted and happy in her life. Brian enveloped her, his massive arms locking her against his chest. His powerful hands slid over her as he languidly explored her body. There wasn’t one inch of her he hadn’t seen or tasted last night before she’d surrendered to exhaustion. This morning, he still seemed fascinated by her.

  Brian had crawled back into bed with her an hour ago, when he’d finally managed to shake most of his bloodlust. The minute his arms had slid around her, any of his remaining fury had vanished. He should have come back to her sooner, but he hadn’t wanted to be eased. Now, he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

  “I think,” he murmured against her ear, “it’s safe to say that I can make you cum.”

  The smug tone of his voice and the satisfied smile she felt against her cheek should have pissed her off; instead she found herself laughing at his statement. He rolled her over, his arrogant smile firmly in place as his fingers trailed over her face and toward the hollow of her neck.

  “Was it as good as you’d imagined?” he whispered as he bent to kiss her earlobe.

  “Better,” she admitted.

  His eyes danced when he pulled back from her. A lock of hair fell across his face and against the corner of his eye in a youthful way that warmed her heart. He didn’t look cold and distant when he smiled at her like that.

  “And it’s only going to get better,” he vowed.

  Abby’s smile slipped away. “You know what it could mean if this progresses between us.”

  He propped his head on his hand as he stared down at her. His other hand stilled its movement on her collarbone when he sensed a hesitation in her. “I know what it will mean,” he said. She was going to understand he would have her.

  She didn’t know how to respond to that. Her heart swelled with joy at the same time something within her shriveled. All of the old problems were still there. His life, her family, his dead wife and sealed off heart, his commanding nature, and her dreams. She couldn’t picture him traipsing around behind her as she traveled the world and worked with those in need, and there was no way was she going to give up her dreams.

  It may not matter; she wouldn’t be going anywhere if she didn’t find Vicky. She had to make sure her sister was safe before she ever considered leaving the country.

  His smile vanished as he studied her. She wore her every emotion on her face, and right now, he could see her hesitance and fear. “Abby—”

  “I’ve always planned to help others,” she whispered. “It’s all I’ve ever dreamed about, besides you.”

  Brian realized she may have dreamed of him for years, but for those years, she’d also fought against what she’d suspected. He could have had a whole year of this with her before her sister had taken off.

  “You should have come to me when you hit maturity,” he told her.

  “Why? You didn’t want this, you admitted that yourself. I always thought, if I stumbled across you again, so be it, but I wouldn’t search you out. We do have an eternity after all, and sex was not my number-one concern in life.”

  He grinned at her as he trailed a finger over her swollen bottom lip. “Wait until I have my way with you, then let’s see if you feel the same way about sex.”

  Apparently, numerous orgasms had rattled her brain, because instead of elbowing him for his conceited statement, she melted beneath his touch. “Or I could realize that I really wasn’t missing anything after all,” she teased.

  She never saw him move, but she found herself pinned beneath him as his naked body settled over hers. He hadn’t entered her last night, but she’d eventually gotten his jeans off to reveal the splendid, massive part of him she’d longed to touch. He’d taught her how to satisfy him with her hand by taking it and stroking it up and down his rigid length. She hadn’t been able to get enough of how hard and soft he was, how he throbbed beneath her hand, and the groans he emitted when she brought him to release.

  “We could
find out right now,” he said as he slid the silken head of his shaft against her thigh.

  Abby gasped and goose bumps broke out on her flesh as his phone began to ring. “Ignore it,” he commanded when her head turned toward the nightstand where it sat.

  She’d happily do that, she decided as he bent his head to kiss her. Just minutes ago, she’d been worried about problems between them; now she could barely remember her name as his fingers skimmed over her body. The phone went off again, the vibrations carrying it to the end of the nightstand.

  “It could be important,” she murmured against his mouth.

  “Don’t care,” he replied as he nibbled on her lip.

  His phone rang again, the force of the vibrations causing it to tumble off the edge and onto the floor. Brian released a volatile curse and rolled off her. He snatched the vibrating phone from the ground and brought it to his ear. “What?” he barked into it.

  The greeting was nicer than when he’d answered her call, but he seriously needed to learn some phone etiquette. She rolled onto her side, propped her head in her hands, and stared at his sculpted back. Her nails had left marks upon his flesh. They were fading away, but she enjoyed seeing them on him. He was hers, and she would happily mark him so that every woman in a thousand-mile radius knew it.

  Brian rested his head in his hand and listened as Karina spoke. “Did you talk to Marissa yesterday?”

  “I did,” he confirmed.

  “She’s dead.”

  He shot to his feet and paced away from the bed. Behind him, Abby sat up and pulled the blanket against her chest. “How?” he demanded.

  “Murdered, by vampires. And not in a pleasant way,” Karina replied. He knew how unpleasant a vampire could make another’s death. “What did you ask her, Brian?”

  “The same questions I asked you,” he muttered as he rubbed at the stubble lining his jaw.

  “Did you mention my name to her?” Karina’s voice held a note of panic; he heard the bolt on a door slide closed from her end of the line.

  “No.”

  “Good. I think it’s best if you stay away from my club until this is all settled.”

  “I will.”

  Karina hung up. He turned back to Abby. She looked so sweet and innocent as she sat on the bed with her hair tumbling around her shoulders. There were vampires out there who knew he was looking for them. If they discovered she was with him, they would go for her too. Stronger than many vampires, she would be able to put up a descent fight, but not enough of one as far as he was concerned.

  He’d planned to leave the hotel they’d been staying at behind soon, he realized now it may have been for the best that she’d already done so. His clothes and truck would stay where he’d left them, he wouldn’t take the chance of returning for them now.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked.

  “Marissa is dead.”

  Her mouth parted as she gazed at him. “How? Why?”

  “Vampires. They know I’m asking about whatever is going on, and they’re trying to take care of anyone who might have any idea about it. That will include me and whoever is with me.”

  She’d dragged him into this. She’d called him, and he hadn’t been able to refuse because of some mystical bond between them. “I never should have called you.”

  Brian placed his phone on the dresser and stood before her in all of his naked glory, not seeming the least bit embarrassed by it. Nor should he be, he was magnificent, and he was now at risk because of her.

  “Yes, you should have,” he said. “Now, it’s time to call your family. They may also try to kill me, but we’ll deal with that when they get here.”

  “They won’t,” she murmured, but she wasn’t convinced of that either.

  “Tell them you’ll be going home—”

  “What?” she blurted.

  “You’re going home until I know it’s safe for you.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “Yes, Abigail, you are.”

  She kept the sheet against her chest as she rose to her knees before him. He may feel comfortable facing off in the nude, but she didn’t, and the sheet gave her a false sense of security. “No, Brian, I’m not.”

  His eyes flashed red. His fangs gleamed in the fading light filtering over him. “I won’t have you in this city when vampires could be hunting for you. They could be on their way here right now.”

  “Let them come!” she retorted. “And I’ll show them what happens when they tangle with a pissed off pureblood.”

  “You’re not strong enough to tangle with these vamps.”

  “I know a pureblood can be capable of just about anything when necessary.”

  “True, but you’re not cruel enough to fight against them. You want to save the world, not tear the throat out of a vampire trying to kill you.”

  “I want to save my sister more than anything else right now.”

  “I will find Vicky, and you will do as I say.”

  “Do as you say!” she nearly screeched. “I’m not five, and I’m not leaving my sister and possible mate behind!”

  His nostrils flared as he exhaled sharply. “Possible mate?”

  She stared back at him unflinchingly. “The bond isn’t complete yet. I’ve lived this long without you in my life, I can do it again.”

  She might be able to live without him, maybe. She was in it a whole lot deeper with him now than she had been for the past six years, but she wasn’t going to spend the rest of her life having him order her around whenever he felt like it.

  “Do you think to try and leave me again?” His voice was deceptively calm given the mounting strain in his body.

  “I’m not going to let you order me around. This isn’t the eighteen hundreds anymore. In case you missed it, women now have the right to vote, get a loan, buy a house, and you’ll be amazed to know we can even think and talk for ourselves! Most importantly, we can do it all without a man!”

  Brian took a deep breath to keep himself from leaping on the bed and claiming her completely. He had to put a stop to any idea she might have of escaping whatever this was between them. Abby didn’t back away when he took a step closer to her, but rather rose higher on the bed in preparation for a battle.

  “You will listen to me on this,” he grated. “Once this bond is completed between us, our lives will be bound together, and it will be completed no matter what you think.”

  He may not have been looking for a woman in his life, but he knew he wouldn’t be walking away from her. She’d fled three blocks from him by the time she was done traversing her convoluted route, and he’d nearly lost his mind.

  If she left him for good…

  If he had to live without her, he’d destroy everything and everyone he got his hands on. He would become the one thing he’d hated most. The thing he’d battled against becoming after he’d killed those two humans. No, she would not be walking out of his life. They may not love each other, but there was something else pulling them together, and he was going to do everything in his power to keep her with him.

  “The bond won’t be completed if you force me to leave here without Vicky. You don’t always get what you want,” she told him.

  She kept the sheet pulled against her as she crept backward on the bed. His eyes were the color of blood, and the muscles in his arms and legs stood out. He looked tensed to spring on her. She was half-afraid she may have pushed him over the edge, and he would force her to complete the bond.

  To be honest though, she’d cave faster to his touch than a house of cards in a tornado if he got his hands on her again. She had to get some distance between them before he could grab her, or else she feared there would never be any separating them again. Rising, she pulled the sheet from the bed and wrapped it around herself.

  “I’ll never forgive myself if you get killed because I allowed you to stay,” he said in a voice hoarse with emotion.

  Those damn traitorous heartstrings of hers tugged again, but she couldn’t cave on thi
s. He would think it was okay to continue to order her about for the rest of their lives if she gave in now. “And what if you die because you forced me away?”

  “That won’t happen.”

  “Your arrogance will get you killed one day.”

  “Most likely.”

  “So, I’m supposed to give myself over to you and complete this bond when you freely admit your behavior will likely get you killed?”

  “Abigail—”

  “If this bond is completed, your death would mean my death. Doesn’t that bother you? What if we have children? Your actions would orphan them.”

  “There will be no children.”

  Abby recoiled from him as if he’d slapped her. Grief twisted her heart and caused her fingers on the sheet to tremble. He’d accepted there was a bond between them, that their lives would forever be interwoven together, but he would never love her, and he would never want children with her.

  Fine. I don’t need love or children anyway.

  She could tell herself that all day, but she did need love, and she did want children. She thrived on love and happiness, thrived on the laughter of her family. She’d always dreamed of her children knowing such love as she’d grown up knowing. They’d know joy while running around with their many cousins and aunts and uncles.

  Instead, she would watch her nieces and nephews grow while never knowing what it would feel like to have a child of her own.

  Fate had thrown her either a sexless, lonely life, or a life of sex and loneliness with a man who would push her away for the rest of their lives. She didn’t know which was worse, but it didn’t matter. She had to stay focused on finding Vicky, and in order to do that, she had to stay in this city.

  “If they killed Marissa, it’s because they realize you’re getting closer to finding Vicky or discovering what is going on,” she said. “I’m not leaving here without my sister.”

  She didn’t wait for him to respond before she spun away and stalked into the bathroom. She barely refrained from slamming the door shut behind her.