How We Love

by Michael Ryan Webb

  "I love you," he said.

  "I love you, too" I replied. "If someone had told me a year ago that my life could someday be this wonderful, this full of beauty and light, I'd have said they were crazy," I said, wrapping my arms around him. "But then I met you, Grayson. And you changed everything."

  "Quit being so mushy," he said, nudging me with his elbow and resting his head on my shoulder.

  "I'm serious, babe. You know, my dad told me once that life is about how we love. And I always thought I knew what he meant. I thought it meant that we should treat each other well and try to do right by each other. But the way that you love is so much more than that, Grayson. You love me so openly, whole-heartedly, and unconditionally that it takes my breath away. I want to learn to love you like that, even if it takes me the rest of my life."

  He looked up at me with his beautiful eyes and whispered, "I'm gonna marry you someday."

  I kissed him more passionately than I ever had before, knowing without a doubt that everything was as it should be. Just like magic.

  Five Years Later | Adam

  "Tyler Evan King, if you don't get your butt out here we're gonna miss Uncle Scotty's graduation," I called out into the seemingly empty living room.

  "Is Aunt Sarah going to be there?" a tiny voice called from the center of the room.

  "Yes, bud, the whole family is going to be there. Uncle Scotty is becoming a doctor today. It's a big deal," I said, creeping toward the spot where I'd heard his voice.

  "Okay, but only if I get to sit with Aunt Sarah and Uncle Drew. Not Uncle Mitch and that lady he kisses," he insisted. I finally pinpointed his voice coming from inside the ottoman between the furniture.

  "What's wrong with Uncle Mitch and Caroline?" I asked, throwing the lid off of the ottoman to find my son. He laughed and screamed and reached out for me to pick him up.

  I lifted his now long and gangly body out and brushed his thick curly hair out of his face. He said, "Uncle Mitch is nice, but that lady always wants to tickle me, and I do not like to be tickled."

  "You don't like to be tickled, I know. Have you maybe told Caroline that you don't want her to tickle you?" I asked, straightening the tie I'd wrestled onto him a few minutes before.

  "No," he said. "She scares me."

  "Well, you know Uncle Mitch and Caroline have been together for a long time now. She might be your Aunt Caroline someday just like Uncle Scotty's friend Billy is about to be your Uncle Billy," I said as I put him down and started straightening out my own clothes.

  "Yuck," he said. Then a devious smile crossed his face and he tented his fingers together. "Let's destroy her."

  "Yeah, let's not do that," I said scooping him back up and heading for the door. "Also, remind me to cut back your TV time -like, a lot."

  My family had grown and become a lot closer in the years after Tyler was born. Scotty and Mitch continued to live with me and help me care for Tyler. Drew and Sarah had another daughter, Emma, two years after Abigail. They moved to a city only an hour away from the rest of us when Sarah got a great job offer.

  Mitch dated a few girls over the years, no one sticking longer than a few months until Caroline. I hadn't told Tyler yet, but Mitch had recently told me that he and Caroline wanted to move in together. I'd immediately told him that she could move into the house with us. Scotty's fiancé, Billy, whom he had met on the first day of medical school, was also set to move in soon.

  Both Scotty and Mitch had started apartment hunting many times over the years, but it never took much to convince them to stay. If we'd had more space, I'm sure we could have talked Drew into moving in too. He and Sarah and the kids spent as much time as possible at our house anyway. It was crowded sometimes, sure. But it was the first time my brothers and I had lived peacefully together, and none of us were in a hurry to give it up. Luckily Billy and Caroline both understood that.

  "What about that boy who wants to kiss you, daddy?" Tyler asked as I settled him into his car seat.

  "What are you talking about, son?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

  "You know, the one who always smiles at you. The one who came to eat turkey the other day? Duh, Daddy," he said, dramatically slapping his hand against his forehead.

  "Oh, do you mean Eric?" I asked, bracing myself for whatever he had to say.

  "Yes," he said exasperatedly.

  "He might be there," I said slyly. Eric and I had reconnected a year before and there was a definite spark there. But the distance was a lot to deal with, and we both had kids to consider. So save for a few visits, we were taking it glacially slow. But his kids were with their mother for Christmas. So he planned to spend the holiday with me. He arrived a couple of weeks early so that he could go with me to Scotty's medical school graduation. I hadn't quite prepared myself to have this conversation with Tyler though. I had been hoping we had more time to see where it was going.

  "Well, if he is, you should just kiss him already if you want," Tyler said, squirming in his seat already as I got into the driver's seat.

  "You'd be okay with that?" I asked as we pulled away from the house.

  "Yes, Daddy," he groaned, dramatically throwing his head back.

  "Good to know," I said, grinning at him in the rear view mirror.

  As we drove to the university, he told me in detail what he hoped Santa Clause would bring him for Christmas. I tried my best to keep track and memorize anything he'd added since the last time he gave me the list.

  I watched proudly as my baby brother graduated again. I felt incredibly lucky to be experiencing that moment standing next to my other brothers just like I had when he'd finished his first degree four years prior and later when Mitch got his business degree.

  After the ceremony, we had a huge dinner party back at the house. Eric hadn't made it to the graduation, but he showed up at the party. I tried to keep a respectable distance between us at all times and made sure Tyler was getting most of my attention. After a while, as I sat across from Eric, awkwardly trying to talk over Tyler, Drew came up and grabbed Tyler off of my lap.

  "You’re killin' me bro," he whispered. "Just jump this guy's bones already. Watching you try to find the most chaste way to flirt is wearing me out. You're a dad, not a priest."

  With Tyler no longer between us, Eric scooted his chair closer. We awkwardly laughed and I tried to come up with a new conversation topic. But he made me nervous. Good nervous, butterflies in my stomach nervous, but nervous nonetheless.

  Time After Time by Cyndi Lauper came on, a jarring shift from the more modern music that had been playing. I scanned the room and found Drew at the sound system having just changed the song. He made an obscene sexual gesture with his hands, pointed at Eric, and gave me a thumbs up as he walked away.

  "Wasn't this our big prom song?" Eric asked.

  "Yeah," I groaned. "My brothers must have found my old yearbooks."

  "We never did get to dance to this one together," he said, standing in front of me offering his hand. "Shall we?"

  I hesitantly took his hand and he led me out into the center of the yard where other couples were dancing. We swayed awkwardly, neither of us sure who should lead, until I finally gave in and let him do it. It was nice. He rested his head on my shoulder and I could smell the sweet shampoo he used wafting in the wind.

  "Is the plan really to have Christmas at Mark's?" he asked suddenly.

  "Yeah, he has plenty of space. We've been doing a big party for the last few years with our friends and family. It's nice," I explained.

  "Isn't that awkward?" he asked.

  "Not at all," I said. "Mitch has been working with him for about five years now. They're really close now. He and I get along well too. A lot of our friends are mutual, so it just makes sense."

  "And you're positive I'm invited?" he pressed.

  "Mark's husband Grayson specifically told me to bring you," I said. "He's great. They both are. You'll be fine. I promise."

  "So he has a husband now? That doesn't make you want
to drink?" he asked.

  "That, no. But of course other things do. But I'm not in a hurry to throw away being five years sober," I said. "Besides, I'm really happy for him. Grayson loves him in a way I never could. They're good for each other. I'll find that for myself someday."

  He smiled at me and pulled me closer. We kept dancing through a few more songs, getting better at moving together with each one. As we loosened up, I became much less nervous. His laugh was infectious and I found myself acting goofy just to make him do it more.

  "So, my son thinks we should just kiss already," I said when another slow song started.

  "Oh, yeah?" he asked, raising his bushy eyebrows. "I've always liked that kid." I was just about to lean in to kiss him when Scotty walked up.

  "Hey, bubba," he said quietly. "So, I really appreciate you throwing me this graduation party. But I was hoping you'd be okay if I ducked out."

  "What? Where could you possibly have to go that's more important than this?" I asked.

  "Billy and I want to go get married," he said, so visibly happy he could only be described as giddy. "We can't wait anymore."

  "And you thought you were gonna do this without your brothers? Nuh-uh. Hold on." I went and cut off the music and addressed the crowd. "I'm so sorry everyone, but the party's gonna have to end early. Family emergency."

  After everyone but my brothers, their significant others, our children, and Eric had left, I gathered everyone around.

  "What's the big emergency?" Mitch asked. "Did you and Eric finally do it?"

  "Mitchell," Caroline exclaimed, hitting Mitch's arm and covering Tyler's ears. Tyler rolled his eyes at me as soon as Caroline touched him.

  "No," I said curtly, glaring at Mitch. "Our little brother and our new little brother have decided they want to get married. Tonight. So, we have a wedding to throw together."

  "No, Adam. You don't have to do anything," Scotty said.

  "Task number one goes to Scotty, and it's shut up and go shave that terrible mustache," Sarah said, taking charge. "Kids, go around and find all of the prettiest flowers you can and bring them back here to me. Caroline, you help me make this yard look as nice as possible. Billy, sweetie, you go make sure Scotty looks as presentable as possible. You already look great. Drew, go online and get me ordained so I can marry these crazy kids. The rest of you, clean up the party mess. Let's go people. Move, move, move."

  Within an hour, a beautiful wedding was taking place in the backyard. I couldn't help but wish Momma was there to see Scotty get married, but I was sure she was watching somehow. Scotty and Billy asked the kids to stand with them as their best man and co-maids of honor, so Eric and I sat holding hands.

  "Maybe that'll be us someday," Eric whispered. "I've kind of had a thing for you for almost 30 years, you know."

  "Can you two get a room already?" Drew muttered from behind us.

  "Yeah, maybe," I said to Eric. I had no idea what would happen with him. Maybe we would end up together. Maybe we'd go on a few dates and realize it just wasn't meant to be. Either way, I had my family, and that was all I'd ever wanted.

  It occurred to me that Scotty and Billy were getting married in almost the same spot where Mark and I had married so long ago. I hoped that their marriage wouldn't turn out the way mine did. But as I looked around at all of the love surrounding me, I knew they could be happy even if it did. After all, I was.

  Five Years Later | Mark

  "Mr. Walker, your family is waiting in the lobby," a voice called from just outside my office at the Refuge.

  "Bailey, it's been five years, you can call me Mark," I said, patting him on the back as I walked past him into the lobby. "Although, even after three years of being married to Grayson, I never get tired of the way my heart flutters when somebody calls me Mr. Walker. So maybe stick with that."

  Sitting in the waiting area I found Grayson. Dolly was sitting at his feet, and in his lap, our six month old son, Thomas Alexander, "Tommy".

  "Hello my beautiful family," I said walking up to greet them. "Oh my goodness both of my boys look so handsome today." Dolly whined up at me and I scratched her ears. "And of course my favorite girl is looking as beautiful as ever, isn't she?"

  "Hi honey," Grayson said, smiling his gorgeous smile at me. "You ready?"

  "I am absolutely always ready to go anywhere with you," I said, taking Tommy from him. "But you're driving because I need to sit in the backseat with this little butterball. I missed him so much."

  "But not me, huh?" he asked playfully. "No, it's fine. I get it. I knew my looks would fade eventually. Time to embrace the inevitable circle of life."

  "Trust me honey," I said, squeezing his butt as he walked ahead of me toward the car. "You're still sexy as hell. And I'll prove it to you tonight. But first, we have about 20 people coming to the diner for a Christmas dinner that we still need to cook." I turned my attention to Tommy. "Your daddies are what we grownups call "screwed," son. Can you say, 'daddy'?" He gurgled at me incoherently and I gave up.

  When we got back to the diner, Grayson and I alternated between playing with the baby and preparing dinner. On one of my turns to play with Tommy, Grayson caught me staring at him.

  "What is it, handsome?" he asked from the kitchen.

  "I was just thinking," I said. "That I love my life with you." I set Tommy down in his playpen and moved into the kitchen and wrapped my arms around Grayson's waist.

  "You know, I was just thinking to myself this morning that my life is pretty okay," he said, leaning his head back to kiss my cheek. I slipped my hand under his shirt and up his chest and felt him shiver. "Careful, Mr. Walker. Don't get me all worked up. I have a lot left to do. I don't have time for any of your funny business."

  "You sure about that?" I whispered as I kissed his neck and continued to explore his body with my hands. "The baby's preoccupied, most of the work is done, and you are filling out these jeans very nicely."

  "Okay, you win," he groaned, turning to face me. I peeled his shirt off of him and started kissing my way down his chest. "But I have to come take this ham out in 15 minutes."

  "If it burns, it burns," I whispered, continuing to kiss his body. And then the baby started crying. "I got it," I sighed, heading back out to pick Tommy up. "Later, I swear."

  "I think this officially makes us an old married couple," Grayson called after me as he put his shirt back on.

  "There's nobody I'd rather be sex-deprived with babe," I replied.

  I settled Tommy down and kept him occupied while Grayson finished cooking. Soon, our many guests started arriving. First came Grayson's parents Donna and Roy. They always arrived earliest and left after everyone else so they could get some time alone with us. I wouldn't have it any other way.

  Dr. Rodriguez and Bailey, who had become good friends over the years, and whom I often suspected might have feelings for each other, were next. Kate, who had forgiven me after time passed and provided legal counsel for the Refuge in areas where I couldn't, arrived shortly after them.

  Scotty and his new husband Billy were next. It was almost sickening how cute they were together, so clearly in love. Grayson and I had bought them new matching stethoscopes as gifts for their medical school graduation, and they loved them. We knew they would. It was just cheesy enough to fit them.

  Amy and Jason then came in with their five children. Shortly after Adam had adopted his son, Amy found out she was pregnant - with triplets. I lost touch with them for a while after the divorce, but it had been easy to pick back up with them after we adopted our own son. Regular trips to the park together had resulted in their invitation to Christmas.

  Mitch and his girlfriend Caroline, and Drew and his wife Sarah came next with all of the King children in tow. Drew and Sarah's daughters were the spitting image of their mother, down to her long blonde hair. Adam's son Tyler was as precocious as I would expect any child of Adam's to be. It was strange to see him play with Tommy and realize that in another life, where things between Adam and I worke
d out, they might have been brothers.

  I pushed that thought out of my mind just in time to watch Adam arrive, hand in hand with Eric from his hometown. Mitch had warned me that Grayson had encouraged Adam to bring Eric. I hadn't thought much of it until everyone started asking me if I was okay with it.

  I was, of course. I had Grayson and our little family and was happier than I ever thought I could be. I hadn't even had any major OCD symptoms in over a year. My life was good. I wanted the same thing for Adam. So I'd called him a few days prior and reiterated the invitation.

  They approached and Adam introduced Eric and I to each other. Eric excused himself to the restroom, leaving Adam and I alone.

  "Weird little family we've gathered, huh?" he asked as he began setting out appetizers he'd brought.

  "Yeah," I chuckled. "Nice though, isn't it? It's not what we planned. I mean, I don't think I ever in my wildest dreams could have even begun to imagine... this. But it works."

  "It does, doesn’t it? Thank you for letting Eric come," he said. "I wasn't even positive I wanted to invite him, but the push was nice."

  "Of course, Adam," I replied. "I want you to be happy. Are you?"

  "I am," he said, smiling over at Tyler. "What about you?"

  I looked over at Grayson, bouncing Tommy on his lap and making silly faces at the other children to make them laugh. I thought back to our wedding day on the beach, and the day he'd asked me to adopt a baby with him. I thought about the day we'd brought Tommy home, and every precious moment since. "I am," I said. "I really am."

  Adam grabbed two glasses of water and handed me one. "To happy endings," he said.

  "To happy endings," I parroted, tapping my glass against his. I looked back over at Grayson. He and Tommy both smiled up at me and I knew I was already living in mine.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Michael Ryan Webb is a West Texas native and studied

  creative writing at Texas Tech University. He currently

  lives in Lubbock with his husband and their two dogs.

  He can be found online at: