“My foster father met his ancestors when I was eleven. If it weren’t for the dragon riders assigned to me, I think we would be in a worse position than we are now. They had to work hard to keep me in line ... to teach me some discipline. I’m thankful my foster mother joined her husband last year so she wouldn’t have to suffer on my account any longer. I’m sure I played a role in both of them passing too soon.
“I didn’t go to classes to learn math, archery, our ballads or our history songs. My education progressed under private tutors. Malory came highly recommended, even though he was only three years older than I. His services were enlisted for me shortly before my foster mother went to rest. Unknown to her, he was a bad influence. I take full responsibility for my indiscretions,” he said fervently. “But that said, he convinced me quite often to sneak out with him to visit pubs and other unsavory places. Truthfully, it didn’t take much to persuade me. He merely pointed out what had been my mantra for a long time — that I was overly protected all of the time and not allowed to have any fun. I didn’t see a problem with his point of view, so I went along with his plans whenever he decided we should enjoy a night out.
“We were quite lucky never to have been caught, he was very clever. Looking back, I see now he was diabolical. He must have drugged the household on the nights we went out. We were never caught. I had dragon riders guarding me — and they don’t normally miss much. I, on the other hand, was too blind to see what he had been doing.
“Three nights ago Farvard heard of our plans for a night in the village. He forbade me to go, but I was used to getting my way. He finally relented, on the condition that he would go with us. Malory said we were going to meet up with some friends of his.
“We started the evening at a pub we were familiar with. After a couple of ales I noticed Farvard suddenly looked ill. Malory’s friends assured me he just needed some fresh air. Two of them supported him on either side and we all left the pub. Instead of going out the front way, we went out the back into an alley.”
Ansel stopped, took in a deep uneven breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He swallowed hard and made an effort to gain control.
I wanted to let him know he didn’t have to finish, but I felt he needed to relate his story. I looked away and gave him some time to gather himself.
“When we got to a dark corner of the alley,” he pressed on, “the man on Farvard’s right drew his dagger. Before I knew what was happening, he slit Farvard’s throat and let his body fall, like a sack of manure.” The agony in Ansel’s face broke my heart. His green eyes locked on mine. “Farvard was my friend, Amáne. He did not deserve to die like that. He passed to his ancestors because of me — because of me!” He repeated. “Do you understand? I might as well have been the one wielding that blade.” His volume increased with each sentence.
After a pause, his voice thick with pain, “And then they tied me up and took me to Castle Teravinea — I didn’t even put up a fight. I couldn’t believe Farvard was gone.”
He pounded his fist on the table and then let his head fall forward on his arm. If it had been me in his position, I would be heaving with sobs. I guess that’s not a manly thing to do, so he just lay there breathing heavily. It was heart-wrenching to watch.
I was never very good at comforting, but I couldn’t just walk out and leave him there alone in his depression. Rising from my seat, I shuffled closer to him. I rested one hand on his shoulder and ran my fingers through his hair with my other hand. I remembered when I was little, my mother would stroke my hair to soothe me. It was the only thing I could think to do. I had no words that would relieve his anguish. I also hummed Eshshah’s calming tune.
My foot throbbed, but I didn’t want to stop until I was sure he had calmed down. Finally, his breathing evened out and it sounded like he fell asleep. Careful to not make any noise, I grabbed my walking stick and silently slipped out of his chamber.
I heard Ansel whisper, “Thank you, Amáne,” as the door slid shut.
The next morning I was awakened before dawn by a scream — it was mine. Another of my nightmares had robbed me of my sleep. My heart raced as I bolted upright. All the heartache and unhappiness from the day before enclosed me in its gloom — I needed to get away. It felt like I had a weight on my chest and I couldn’t breathe.
“Eshshah, let’s go for a ride. I’m sure the Healer and Ansel are still sleeping. We can just go for a short flight.”
“Amáne, what about your foot? Do you think this is a wise decision? The Healer may not appreciate us sneaking out.”
“We won’t be sneaking. If she were awake, I would ask her, but I’m sure she’s not.” That sounded quite rational to me. I convinced Eshshah, and we silently made our way to the library to get the saddle. I chose the tournament saddle because the straps secured a rider at the calves. This made sense as it would not interfere with my damaged foot, yet would give it support.
I had a bit of difficulty in saddling her, but I finally tightened the last strap. On our way to the entry, I stopped at my chambers where I found a large riding boot in the wardrobe that would fit over my bandages. I laced the boot and felt it braced my ankle sufficiently, after which we headed to the entrance cavern. I climbed up on Eshshah’s foreleg and managed to place my walking stick in the spear holder.
Trying to figure out how to hoist myself up into the saddle without putting weight on my injured ankle, I heard what sounded like a snicker behind me.
“Do you need me to push you up there again?”
I jerked my head around and found Ansel standing with crossed arms, leaning against the wall. He didn’t even bother to hide his amusement. I’d been so distracted that I didn’t hear him enter. Scowling at him, I tried to keep the red from rising in my face. I remembered how he had to push me into the saddle when we left the Castle Outpost.
“No thanks. I got it.” This gave me the motivation I needed, and I hurriedly pulled myself up. A slight stab of pain shot through my ankle, but luckily, my back was toward him and he didn’t see my grimace. “I didn’t think you were awake,” I said, buckling myself in.
“A girl screaming in terror is usually enough to wake me.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. I, er...”
“I would have come in to check on you, but I knew Eshshah was with you. She, I’m sure, was all you needed.”
He had a way of saying things to which I didn’t know how to respond, so all that came out of my mouth was, “Thank you anyway.”
“I’m surprised my aunt gave you permission to go on a flight.”
“Well ... she didn’t exactly. She’s sleeping.”
“You’re going to sneak out without telling her?”
“I’m not sneaking! I’ll explain it to her when I get back. My acquaintance, Kail, always says it is easier to ask for forgiveness after you do what you like, than it is to ask for permission beforehand.”
“Sneaky friend.”
“It’s not sneaky! Are you going to go tell your aunt now, to keep me from going?”
“My lips are sealed. Just be careful, Amáne. Take it slowly.”
“No, Ansel, we’re going to fly fast and take chances.” When I saw the alarm in his face, I added, “I’m teasing you. We’ll be careful. See you soon. Let’s go, Eshshah.”
She dove off the ledge and did a free fall until we neared the rocks below. At the last second she spread her wings and headed toward the water. My heart was in my throat, but I swallowed the whoop of joy that I would have let out. I wonder what Ansel thought of that take off.
There were no words to describe my feelings and closeness to Eshshah when we flew. It was pure joy — complete freedom. I took in the fresh ocean air as we skimmed the glassy sea. Her wing tips splashed the briny spray into my face. This was exactly what I needed. I hadn’t realized the pressure I’d been holding in until this glorious moment of complete euphoria.
Sailing smoothly through the air, we explored some of the surrounding islands. We weren’t going to chance a lan
ding as I had no intention of getting down from the saddle. It would be too painful to have to get back up. We were perfectly content to just soar. Life didn’t get any better and for this moment I was thankful.
I had planned on just a short flight, but when I looked at the angle of the rising sun, to my dismay, it was apparent we were gone for more than an hour. We didn’t dare stay out any longer.
“Hurry, Eshshah, we need to get back.”
As we approached the outpost I could see from a distance that someone was waiting for us in the entry. I hoped it was Ansel. As we neared the cavern my stomach twisted — it was the Healer. She stood with her arms crossed. Her body language told me she was not pleased.
She retreated to the side as we glided in and landed. I gulped as I noted her angry countenance and realized I would have to face her wrath. Ansel sat sunken in on one of the couches looking like a child who had just been scolded. A wave of regret went through me as I realized I had gotten him in trouble as well.
“What do you think you’re doing, Amáne?” The Healer shot me a menacing look.
“I’m sorry, Healer. I needed a break and you were sleeping. I thought we would go on a short flight so I could clear my head. I had no intentions of staying out this long.”
“Dismount this instant.” She was livid.
“Yes, Healer.”
I unfastened the buckles on my right side first and swung my hurt foot around in front of me. Usually, I dismount swinging that leg over the back of the saddle. I thought bringing it over the front would be less painful. It proved not the best solution as my entire leg throbbed with agonizing pressure. I inhaled sharply as I tried to breathe into the pain. Luckily, Ansel read my face and jumped up to my assistance. Before he could take one step, the Healer put her hand up to stop him. He slowly lowered himself back into the cushions.
“Dismount, Amáne.” She repeated.
Knowing I was on my own, I put on a determined face. I unbuckled my left calf straps, grabbed my walking stick and lowered myself down to Eshshah’s foreleg. I didn’t understand why the pain was so severe. I could put no weight on my foot. Unlacing the large boot, I let it drop. I cringed as more pressure rushed into my injury.
Turning my thoughts to Eshshah, I made a silent plea for her help. As if the Healer could read my mind, she said, “Eshshah, leave her be.”
I fought my temper enough to suppress it, but my stubbornness kicked in. Setting my jaw, I made an effort to hide my pain. I slid off of Eshshah’s foreleg to the floor and hobbled to the couch near Ansel. I eased myself down and exhaled slowly as I faced the Healer.
“It appears to me you have a problem with authority, Amáne. That’s a poor trait in a dragon rider.” I winced. There was nothing more devastating she could have said to me. I had no reply.
“Do you need to be reminded that you are a dragon rider now and that you are part of a bigger picture?” I shook my head in answer, even though it was more of a rhetorical question. She went on, “You were on your own for too long at the start, but it is not just about you anymore. You have an obligation to the other riders, to Ansel and to all of Teravinea. You are now our hope — every thing you do affects us all. This joy ride, when you don’t even know the status of your injury, could have had disastrous results. Like it or not, the survival of the kingdom hinges upon your health. Do not play so lightly with it.”
Turning to my dragon, she said, “Eshshah, you know about duty more than any other creature in this room. You also know the power of persuasion this girl has on all of us. You must not let her talk you into this kind of foolishness when you know better.”
My remorse knew no bounds — I had brought Eshshah down with me. Ashamed, I silently asked for her forgiveness, which of course she granted.
The Healer turned her wrath back to me, and continued, “You will not jeopardize everything we have worked for — more so than it already has been.” She shot an angry glare at Ansel, then back at me. “Did you not pay attention to Ansel’s story and how a desire for self-satisfying pleasure ended in disaster?”
I sunk even lower at that cut. Chancing a glance at Ansel, he looked like he had been punched in the stomach — a wave of darkness crossed his face.
Finally, the Healer appeared to be calming down, if only slightly. “Maybe one day you will lead, Amáne, but until that time, you will answer to me. Is that understood?”
“Yes, Healer.”
With that, she stormed out of the chamber.
I stared at the floor, fighting the tears and wished this was another of my nightmares that I could wake up from.
Ansel turned to me. In an angry whisper, he said, “Maybe your sneaky acquaintance doesn’t know the Healer very well.” Then he rose from the couch and headed out of the room.
Closing my eyes, I released the breath I’d been holding. I picked up the bowl on the table in front of me. It took all of my self control to resist launching it at his head. Instead, I hurled it out the entry — like he had done the day before with the cup.
I awoke a couple of hours later, still on the couch where I had cried myself to sleep. My recent shame washed over me making me want to close my eyes again to try to forget. Ansel sat at the ledge working on my walking stick. He followed through on his promise to finish it, although I thought it was perfect already. Evidently, he wasn’t angry with me anymore. Absorbed in his project, I watched as he buffed the carved dragon at the top of the staff. I didn’t want to disturb him, so I lay still and followed his hands with my eyes.
He must have felt my stare. Before long he turned around and caught me watching. Ansel met my eyes and shot me an easy smile. It seemed to light up the entry even more. After a final swipe with his polishing cloth, he jumped up and brought me my staff, taking a seat beside me to observe my reaction.
I examined his new addition, small gold stones for Eshshah’s eyes were inlaid into the wood. He had found the perfect color.
“I love it. Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
He paused in anticipation, “I believe this is the part where you throw your arms around my neck.”
I rolled my eyes.
Then changing his tone, “Amáne, first of all I’m sorry it took me so long to say this to you, but I haven’t offered you yet my condolences for your loss. My aunt told me you were very close to your mother, and I’m sorry she was taken from you. Secondly, I want to thank you for being there for me last night, and I apologize for my childish behavior.”
I didn’t know if by ‘childish behavior’ he meant his show of emotion because of Farvard’s death — which was not childish at all in my opinion; or the stunt he pulled when he jammed his knife into the table. I refrained from asking and simply nodded in acceptance of his apology.
“Ansel, now it’s my turn to apologize for getting you involved in my bad behavior this morning.”
He replied, “It was my fault. I should have stopped you. You know the Healer is right — the three of us are bound by duty, through no choice of our own. You as dragon rider; Eshshah, born of the Royal Dragon line; and myself as heir to the throne. In addition to duty, Eshshah’s line has an ancestral bond to the Royal House of Drekinn, which in turn binds you ... to me.” He smiled, shrugged and added, “In truth, I’m not opposed to that bond.”
I ignored his comment but needed to address something that troubled me, “Yes, you’re right. We are bound by our obligations. That’s why you can’t oppose us going back to the castle for a dragon egg. The Healer says we need an egg ... so —”
“Can we not discuss that now?” He entreated.
I would have preferred to get it out of the way — to make him understand that Eshshah and I have been training for this mission and that he must not deny our quest. I reminded myself of the trauma he had undergone through his capture. I wasn’t up for a fight, so I let it go with a shrug of assent — for now.
Pleased that he had gotten his way, he completely changed the subject. “Tell me about your life in Dorsal ... your friend
s ... the suitors who seek your affections. Your poor mother probably had plenty of eligible men knocking at your door to negotiate for your hand.”
I laughed. “Absolutely not! Thankfully, no one is interested in me. If any had been foolish enough to ask my mother, then she would have put them to right. I have no inclination for anyone to have my hand, or my heart for that matter. My mother would not have participated in any such negotiations, anyway.”
It could have been my imagination, but I thought I caught a hint of relief or satisfaction, along with slight disappointment cross his face — just briefly. Why, I couldn’t guess. But he continued his interest in my life. Being the topic of this conversation made me a bit uncomfortable. But strangely, it didn’t really matter — I actually enjoyed his company at that moment.
“What about your sneaky friend, Kyle ... or Kole ... or ...”
“Kail. No. He only has eyes for Fiona, for which I’m glad. I think most of the time he forgets I’m a girl, anyway.”
His eyebrows raised in surprise. “What? I’m liking him less and less.”
“Oh, that’s never bothered me. If you haven’t already noticed, my femininity is not one of my finer attributes.” I waved my hand over my tunic and tights as an example.
“I have noticed ... and I disagree.” I met his eyes to see if he was teasing me, but they showed his sincerity. A nervous twinge rippled through me. He continued. “May I tell you what I think is your finest attribute? Besides your beauty, of course.”
I blushed. This was the second time he had referred to me as beautiful. No one except for my mother, and Fiona, had ever said anything about my being beautiful. My mother didn’t count and Fiona, I thought, was just being kind. I found compliments were not pleasant for me, but I tried to hide it. Still, as awkward as I felt, I was also curious as to what he might reveal.
Amáne of Teravinea - The Chosen One (The Teravinea Series Book 1) Page 19