“Sure, I guess.”
“I think it’s the fire in you — your spirit — your courage. Your mother named you well. Amáne, Water, it quenches the raging fire — it gives you your balance. Then you link to a beautiful dragon named Fire. It all fits.”
Eshshah hummed in approval.
I sat there dumbfounded. Finally my profound response was, “Oh.”
This was all too embarrassing for me. I couldn’t continue any more discussion that involved me as the subject matter. Before it led to my irritation, I recovered my senses, cleared my throat and turned the conversation.
“So what’s life like being a prince hiding behind the title of lord of a manor? It must be magnificent to be surrounded by lavish things — elegantly beautiful ladies vying for your affections.”
Disappointment crossed his face as he realized the conversation was now directed back at him. He could only return the courtesy and answer my question as I had answered his.
“It has its advantages. The ladies are elegant, yes, some are beautiful, but mostly they bore me. Weak, oblivious to anything outside their small circle of concerns. ‘Who is hosting the next ball?’ ‘When will the latest fashions arrive?’ ‘What new expensive silks has the mercer imported?’”
He turned to me and sighed. “In truth, Amáne, it’s all rather frustrating. A long time ago I used to know who I was. It pained me to see the destruction of all that my father had worked for, yet I was not able to do anything about it. My people suffered under Galtero’s rule and I couldn’t help them. It was killing me, so I guess I just gave up — my gaining the throne became an illusive dream.”
It was as if a dark cloud obscured the sunlight that had been in the room. Instead of giving in to the vortex that threatened to take us down, I fought it. I sat upright, leaned in to him and rested my hand on his arm. “You can never give up hope.” I said fervently. “You must have faith in the future. Remember what the Healer said about Torin’s prophecy — the first part has already come to pass.
“Look at me.” I brought my face closer to his and drew his eyes toward mine. “It will be through Eshshah and me that you will see victory. Hope, Ansel — hope does not disappoint — you must believe that to be so.
“You said I had fire in me ... well, then let me share my fire with you. I’m sure there was a time you fought for what was right for the kingdom. You must take up your fight again. I won’t let you give up. Not when it’s so close ... not when Eshshah and I are fighting alongside of you.”
I could see a spark light his eyes — a small flame ignited. The dark cloud passed, and he allowed a slight smile to change his countenance. That smile alone was like sunshine. We held each other’s eyes for a few heartbeats — until my heart pounded in my ears. The sound frightened me. I became aware of how close we were. I felt the heat from his body. Confused, I removed my hand from his arm, turned my face away and stood up with the help of my walking stick.
“Come on, let’s go find the Healer,” I said, hoping he had not heard my heart beating so loudly, “If I’m lucky, she’s not angry with me anymore, and we can see if she wants Eshshah to catch us a big fish. I can teach you how to prepare it, Dorsal style. Maybe this time you’ll at least try to eat it instead of mangling it.” I shot him a sidelong look and then went in search of the Healer. Ansel followed.
That afternoon found the three of us in the kitchen working together on our midday meal. Well, the Healer and I were working and Ansel just got in the way. Every time I turned around I practically ran into him.
Finally, before I got too annoyed with him, I gathered the last of the potatoes from the bin and deposited them on a table. “Here, I have a job for you.” I handed him a knife. “You can chop these potatoes. Please cut them small.”
The Healer gave me such a look of disapproval, I stopped short. Then she looked at Ansel, who was already happily employing the use of his blade. Pursing her lips, she shook her head, and then turned back to her task without saying a word.
It dawned on me I had just ordered the Prince of Teravinea to perform the menial labor of a scullery maid. At first I was ashamed at giving him such an assignment, but when I glanced over at him I noted he was completely engrossed in his chore. I had to turn my face and hide the smile that came to my lips. Only with concentrated effort did I manage to stifle my snicker.
Seriously, I thought to myself, I need to start thinking of him as who he really is, and start giving him the respect due him. He was King Emeric’s son, and someone so above my station. The fact that I’d treated him as my equal shamed me — how dare I be so insolent.
Truth was, he had a way about him that allowed me to be comfortable in his presence — as long as he kept his distance ... and didn’t look at me too intensely ... or try to inhale the scent of my hair. I, however, needed to reflect upon my place as dragon rider in regards to my future king.
These thoughts ran through my mind while I prepared my pan with oil, garlic, dried red chili peppers and spices. That task completed, I went to retrieve the cut potatoes. Expecting he would have diced them into cubes, I wasn’t prepared for their appearance. He cut them into the thinnest slivers. They laid on the board like a stack of hay. I inadvertently raised my eyebrows at their presentation.
“Did I cut them wrong? You said make them small.”
“These are great. Thank you.” I hoped he didn’t catch my hesitation.
They ended up being the favorite of the meal. He had created a new twist on Dorsal’s specialty of chili pepper potatoes.
After our meal, the Healer excused herself to the library. I cleared the table and straightened out the kitchen. Ansel joined me. I declined his help, but he stayed and kept me company. I fought the urge to give him a task so he would stay out of my way, but reminded myself of my place. By the time I finished, I was more than ready to get off of my aching foot.
My mind reeled as I thought about how, in just the short time I’d known Ansel, I had allowed myself to think of him as a friend. Friend — I liked the sound of that. I’ve had plenty of acquaintances, but never permitted anyone close enough to call a friend — girl or boy — I had always been a loner. Yes, he annoyed me plenty of times as I’m sure I annoyed him, but I dismissed that easily.
In the same instant I considered him my friend, I also conceded that I had allowed myself to step over the boundaries of duty and respect. The line was not clear to me and I didn’t know how this friendship would affect our working relationship. I knew that soon we would have to return to our respective responsibilities — he to his obligations as prince to save his kingdom, and I to assist in those plans.
We retreated to the entry cavern. I postponed my need to rest my foot as I limped to the ledge to take in the scene before me — the blue ocean against the cloudless sky. Ansel followed closely. The heat of the day relaxed into an enjoyable temperature.
Looking out onto the calm sea, I breathed in deeply. “I just love this view.”
“So do I,” Ansel responded.
Something in the way he said it made me turn toward him. He was not looking at the ocean view as I was — he was looking at me.
I fought the panic rising in my chest, but before the situation continued in a direction I didn’t want it to go, I nonchalantly put a bit of distance between us and then went back to the topic that had bothered me for long enough.
“Could you really overrule the Healer’s plans and oppose sending Eshshah and I for a dragon egg?”
“Amáne, I really don’t —”
“No, Ansel, I need to know. We have to talk about this.”
He exhaled deeply and under protest, he answered, “Yes, I could. And I will if I deem it necessary.”
“You would send Calder, or Braonán or one of the other riders. Why not me?”
“They have more experience than you. They’re not...” he hesitated, trying to carefully formulate his words.
“What? They’re not a fifteen-year-old girl?” I advanced on him and pound
ed my walking stick on the stone floor. It echoed through the entry cavern. “That’s not fair to think that way! They don’t have Eshshah — their dragons no longer live.” I choked at the thought. “Do you realize when we were running around in those tunnels that it was only because of my dragon that we got out alive?” He winced. “You didn’t see or hear her, but it was due to her strength alone we were saved. She gave me what I needed to fight for my life after that creature bit me. And she brought us out of that nightmare. Calder, Braonán, anyone else would have died down there, and you along with them.” I realized I was talking through my clenched teeth.
I lowered my eyes and my voice. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but I can’t keep my mouth shut and have you just decide you don’t want us to fulfill our obligation. I don’t understand why you would do that. We will swear our fealty to you, yet you threaten us with your right to deny our quest.”
He responded firmly and evenly, “Don’t forget, you aren’t officially sworn in. That needs to be done at Council in the presence of the other dragon riders — and I also have final say on that matter.”
My head snapped up and flames must have shot from my eyes at that moment. He held up his hands, palms out in surrender.
“Amáne, I would be a fool to decline yours and Eshshah’s services. You will be sworn in at Council. I’m just saying all those decisions are ultimately my responsibility. I need to be convinced that your quest will have a strong chance of success before I can bear to see you subjected to that kind of danger again.”
I feared there was more to his statement than just our allegiance to him. He was making it more personal and I couldn’t let him go in that direction. How could I make him see that he cannot make it personal and I cannot elevate our relationship to anything higher than friendship. I didn’t want it to be anything more. I was prepared to forfeit even our friendship, if it interfered with our mission.
“Ansel, Eshshah and I offer you our lives as is our duty. We were chosen for this obligation, it is our destiny. I cannot offer you anything beyond.”
I hoped he understood what I had tried to tell him. I couldn’t meet his eyes, but kept my gaze somewhere around his chest. I saw his shoulders drop almost imperceptibly.
“So, it’s just duty and your allegiance that you offer?”
Still refusing to look up, I could only force a nod. “... and friendship.” I added in a small voice. It was the only answer I could give him — I was fairly sure I understood his question.
“Amáne. Look at me.”
When I resisted, he put his finger under my chin and gently lifted my face, giving me no option but to look at him. I was held there by his green eyes, unable to look away. Something inside of me was reluctant to admit that I didn’t want to look away, but only to remain lost in his gaze. What is happening to me?
His eyes bore into mine — searching. He found what he was looking for and a slight smile turned the corners of his lips.
“That’s not true — there’s more,” he said. “You’re not listening to your heart, Amáne. Your future is tied to mine ... and not just by duty.”
He drew his face close to mine. I stood frozen, expectant, silently protesting ... yet also hoping. But mostly, angry with myself that I was so weak. I made no effort to resist. All these emotions and more churned in my chest, along with a thousand butterflies in my stomach. I closed my eyes and felt his breath on my face.
At that moment, the Healer walked into the room with a roll of maps under her arm.
Startled, I spun around and lost hold of my walking stick. It echoed as it clattered to the ground. Accidentally putting weight on my bad foot, I lost my balance and surely would have ended in a heap on the hard stone floor if Ansel hadn’t caught me. He helped me regain my balance and retrieved my staff. I composed myself and stepped away from him as I tried to bring my breathing back to normal.
“Oh good, the three of you are here,” the Healer said, then stopped short, as she took in the scene before her. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. I steadied myself for another dose of her wrath, but she said nothing. She showed no sign of whether she was aware of what almost happened between Ansel and me.
I, however, was quite aware of what she interrupted, and I was shaken — my body still trembled. With some effort, I stilled my heart and convinced myself that I was relieved she came in when she did. Something had occurred that left me confused. I knew I had to work on staying strong if the situation repeated itself. I could not encourage Ansel’s infatuation with me.
“I’ve been studying these maps, conferring with Gallen and the others,” the Healer began, her eyes on Ansel, “and we’ve decided where you’ll be residing.” She spread the maps on one of the tables and then explained.
“Ansel, you know you are no longer safe in Teravinea. We have been in negotiations with King Tynan of the Kingdom of Serislan, just north of us. Of course, he doesn’t know your true identity, but he believes you are a noble of some stature. He was told that Galtero has confiscated your lands and that you have escaped and ask for sanctuary from him, which is mostly the truth. He has agreed to allow you Trivingar Manor, on his southwest coast.” She pointed to a location on the map.
She added, “He was a great ally of your father and has no love whatsoever for Galtero. There is trouble brewing — he’s informed us Galtero has plans that do not forbode well for Teravinea. You must leave tomorrow night —”
“Tomorrow night?!” Ansel and I said in unison.
It was too soon to accept that our time here was up. This place seemed to do that to me. I would stay here forever and gladly if it were my destiny, but I knew that was only my wishful thinking.
“You will leave tomorrow.” She repeated. “Eshshah and Amáne, I would appreciate your assistance in transporting Ansel to Trivingar.”
“Of course, Healer,” Eshshah and I both answered.
“It’s about a four hour flight to the Arevale Outpost,” the Healer continued, “which is just this side of the border from Trivingar. Braonán will meet you with a horse. From there you will ride to your new residence. I’ve heard Trivingar Manor is quite beautiful.”
She looked at Ansel. “I am so sorry your life has been one of hiding and running, but I assure you we are getting closer to our goal. The Royal House of Drekinn shall rule again. Nothing worth achieving is done without cost.”
Just before sunset found me again at the ledge looking out over the shimmering sea. As the sun descended in the sky, the air stirred slightly, whispering in my ear. Eshshah lay curled up behind me.
Growing up in a coastal town had taught me love for the sun and the sea. Watching the sunset had become a ritual every evening. My mother and I used to stand at our doorway and watch the great ball of fire quench itself as it sunk slowly into the horizon. I looked forward to it here at the outpost as well — it was my favorite time of day. I was loath to miss the ritual. Watching it reminded me again how much I missed my mother. Why was she taken from me at such a time in my life? In my confusion I needed her even more now. I remembered her words, “You will need to use your intuition and your intelligence in deciding which paths you choose — remember to follow your heart.” Did she have any idea what paths I was going to be facing? How could I follow my heart and choose the correct path for Teravinea? I could not see that they went any way but two different directions. I had no other option — I couldn’t let Ansel get any closer to me if it meant jeopardizing our quest.
As the sun lowered, the wind started to find its voice. Whitecaps formed on the waves, and I knew we were in store for a Valaira. My hair and my tunic rippled gently as the hot wind began to build. I shuddered as I remembered the last Valaira when Eshshah and I had fought for our lives, and this outpost had saved us. Memories of our ordeal, mixed with a need for my mother, caused a tear to escape. How my life had changed since she gave me her blessing.
I heard the door behind me glide open and footsteps approach — it was Ansel. I
swiped the tear from my face and blinked several times in hopes the arid wind would dry the moisture that had built in my eyes.
He came up beside me and put his arm around my shoulder ... which I gently removed.
“Amáne,” Ansel said.
“— Ansel,” I said simultaneously.
“Go ahead.” Again simultaneously.
“You go,” Ansel said first.
I sighed and gazed out over the churning sea. “Tomorrow we’ll be preparing to leave. I was just thinking how quickly time goes by, but I guess all things must come to an end. We’ve been through a lot in just a short period of time and now we’ve arrived at the point where we need to move on — and we don’t know where that will lead, do we?” I turned toward him. “Ansel, I’m thankful I was able to meet you and I hope you will let me consider you as my friend.” I wanted so desperately to keep him as a friend. I wasn’t ready to give up on that yet, and was going to try to make it work — before I had to sacrifice that as well, for Teravinea.
“Hmm. Friend.” He said.
“Well, older brother, if you prefer?”
“No. Friend is fine,” he said quickly, and then under his breath, not realizing how good my hearing was, “... for now.”
I ignored the last part and continued. “I’ve never been very good at making friends. I’ve always been kind of a loner, but I see it’s rather nice to have one, and I just wanted to let you know.” I really had so much more to tell him but I had to keep it simple. I couldn’t give him hope of anything more.
He smiled and nodded.
“What were you going to say?” I asked.
“Pretty much the same thing, I guess.”
I breathed a sigh of relief — a little surprised this proved easier than I thought it was going to be.
After a pause, he exhaled, studied my face and said, “No, that’s not true. What I want to tell you is that besides the fact I am indebted to you for my life, I want you to know these last few days have been the best days I’ve ever known. I’ve grown very fond of you. Truth is, I care for you, Amáne, and I never really cared for anyone other than myself. I’ve had a hard time trying to make you see that. For some reason, you’re closing your eyes to what’s right in front of your face.”
Amáne of Teravinea - The Chosen One (The Teravinea Series Book 1) Page 20