Rock Notes (Book One of the Heartbeat Series)

by Renee Lee Fisher

  I had to push this all aside in my mind since now I have to begin to dodge the holiday rush, and meet with all the mean shoppers to select the few presents that I had to purchase. I wrote myself a list of what I had to buy. First stop was back to a shop in New Hope. I enjoyed returning to the shops there and I had seen some jewelry that surely Jillian and Cecile would like. While I was in the Artisan jewelry shop, I noticed the window display had a man’s cuff with a cross on it and it was similar to the one Rand bought me for my birthday. I asked the jeweler to let me see it. As I touched the cross on the leather strap, a shiver ran through me. The jeweler asked me if I was okay, as I drifted off in thoughts of Rand looking at this piece. I shook my head to him that I was fine, and I knew I was more than fine, for here I was feeling the holiday spirit and new found joy in my heart. I knew this was going to be a wonderful holiday season. My shopping travels then took me to the longest line at the liquor store in search of the perfect port wine for Thomas, as he often enjoyed a glass of port after a fine meal.

  I had spent almost an entire day shopping and my feet were tired, but I got it done. As I carried my bundles into my house, I had messages showing on my answering machine. The first was from Thomas saying he wanted to tell me he really was looking forward to Sunday and seeing me for Christmas Brunch. Although I hadn’t given him an answer, I know from his voice he was hopeful. The next was Cecile saying that she was invited by Kent to their little party on Thursday and she was screaming in excitement about it. Finally, Jillian wanted to get away from the whole crazy shopping to have some alone gym time with me in the morning. That was fine, I sent her a message I would meet her there. I thought I might fess up to her about reading that message and the other ones I saw that day at my house.

  Contently, I was sitting wrapping my gifts and really taking the time to make them look extra special. I loved putting in the extra effort to make them stand out and look really festive. I got up and made myself a cup of pumpkin spice coffee. It only becomes available certain times of the year and since the autumn season had just passed I could still enjoy it.

  As I stirred my cup, I drifted to thinking about where I would be heading on Sunday, Christmas day. Last year was a mess for me; I was lonely and saddened that my marriage was erased in a divorce document, even though Thomas and I had filed for the divorce many months prior it took some time to be final. I wasn’t looking forward to holidays or any other day of the week at that point. Although Jillian had warmly invited me to join her and her brother, I declined.

  This year, what a difference time has made. Thomas and I are friends, but he wants more. With Rand, I found something I feel so wonderful about with him, but then this could all be one sided. I was hoping for happily ever after. I didn’t do any holiday shopping last season and I was so enjoying this year and the holiday spirit I was feeling. I hadn’t felt this way since I was younger and my mother and father were together. My mother let me help her with all the trimmings and making the cookies, which was so much fun. As I reminisced, I decided to make some cookies and I pulled out an old recipe from my kitchen drawer. It was for my mother’s special Christmas cookies. It was nothing more than chocolate chips, but she said they were special, that Santa loved them. I guess they were my father’s favorite.

  I began to locate all the items needed. I first found the flour, brown sugar, eggs, and vanilla. I left some butter on the counter to soften. As I was reaching down to lift my mixer to the countertop my phone sounded. It was from Rand –

  Madison, I’m thinking about you looking forward to seeing you Thursday. My holiday decorators have done great work with the barn and my home. You’ll see for yourself it looks like Longwood Gardens during the holiday. Hey, is everything alright between us? I haven’t had a moment to see you lately and talk with you and I felt a distance with us lately. Miss you.

  Rand’s reference of Longwood Gardens brought a smile to my face. When I was a child we went there and it was filled with lush gardens, dancing fountains, and opulent architecture. During the winter holiday season they display brilliant light shows of holiday colors and brightly lit holiday trees. It is a true winter wonderland of lights. As soon as night fell the lights illuminated to present a beautiful sight to behold during the holiday season. Since I didn’t want him to know I felt upset by the texts he had received from “G”, I didn’t call him to talk to him directly. I wanted to sound upbeat. I sent him a reply –

  We’re good, and I’m so in the holiday mood. I was just remembering all the sparkling lights from the gardens when I was a child. I’m now busy baking cookies and looking forward to seeing this holiday wonderland on Thursday. I finished all my shopping and wrapping and so tomorrow I’m catching up with Jillian at the gym in the morning and will need that as I will probably eat most of this cookie batter. Miss you too.

  I think he was waiting to reply as his fingers sent me a response so quickly –

  My we are smart, extremely beautiful, a talented writer, a health enthusiast and now a baker. Madison there’s so much I don’t know about you, but you better save me a few or I will have to nibble on your ear and proceed downward if there aren’t any cookies left for me. See you soon.

  Rand, if you mean what you say, I will throw all the batter in the trash. Only kidding, I will make plenty and have them for us all. Let me get baking, the ovens beeping that it is ready.

  Madison you have me hot already. You have no clue what you do to me and now there is this added sweetness I crave from you. The end of this week cannot come soon enough.

  My baking turned into a many hour event. What started with getting a cup of coffee earlier in the day had me refilling it as I made dozens of cookies. When I was finally finished in the kitchen it looked like a cyclone hit that swirled flour everywhere. After cleaning the entire room and packaging the cookies I was tired from standing there for so long. I took a long hot bath and turned in early. Before I hit my pillow I sent Rand a message –

  House smells yummy like hot baked cookies. The warmth had me thinking of you, Goodnight.

  I never got a reply from him. I slept.

  Jillian was up and ready to hit the gym and we had a great workout and, yes, our jaws were tired too from talking. We had so much to catch up on. When she said Raeford’s name it was like she was off into the puffy clouds. It was so wonderful to see my friend this way. She actually left him at her place to come meet me for a bit. Those two seemed further along in a dating relationship than Rand and I, and that made me think that Rand and I weren’t really progressing and this is what it would be. I waited until she caught me up on all her juicy items of Raeford, how he kisses her, how he touches her and she sounded so captivated by him. I was so happy for her, but then I wanted to share the uncertainties I was feeling about Rand of late.

  I asked Jillian, “Should I feel horrible for reading a text that Rand received? I actually read it when it came over his phone when they played at the 2nd Street Coffee Café.”

  “Madison tell me what it said.”

  “Well, first that message is why I kept drinking so much that night.”

  “So what did it say, tell me?”

  “It was obviously from a girl who is looking forward to seeing and being with him over the holidays. She signed with only her initial. The next day she emailed him again while he was taking care of me. Usually whenever someone texts him or calls he tells me in passing who it was. He never said anything about this one.”

  Jillian stared at me, “I really like Rand with you, I think you should ask him when or if it happens again.” I wanted to ask him but I didn’t want him to think I was crazy, jealous, or insecure.

  “Jillian, my dilemma is where am I going on Christmas?”

  “It’s about time that you think with your heart and not your head. Follow that on Christmas day.”

  “Hopefully, I will figure it out by then.”

  “Madison, when I first met Raeford I never thought I would really begin to feel what I do now for him, but I o
pened myself up and let him into my heart. You need to let love in again.”

  I was silent a moment thinking that I had completely given my heart once so long ago and had it torn apart. I think she knew what I was thinking because she said, “Oh no you don’t! Don’t you even go backwards when you’ve come so far. Let’s just look forward to Thursday and enjoying the holidays wherever we end up.”

  We did just that as Rand’s Thursday afternoon gathering began. I got there slightly after everyone else had come and Rand appeared in the doorway of the barn as if he had been waiting for my arrival. With plenty of cookies in tow, I brought them in and he helped me as I made a tin for each of the guys, including Rand. Before we entered the barn he licked my ear playfully, he was in a great mood. I got to hug Kent and Raeford as soon as I came inside. It was so nice to see my gal pals there as well. Cecile looked like a holiday ornament, all dressed in a sparkled sweater and Kent wasn’t too far from her, always looking at her. Jillian and Raeford were already holding hands.

  Rand announced that he had food and drinks set up in the loft above and for everyone to go ahead up there. Isaac and Ron were already started on the drinks up there. Rand had moved over to me and placed his hand on my lower back, after putting the cookies in a pile near the tree by the stage. We were the last two that stood down below as everyone went up the steps.

  I was taking in all the decorations, they were definitely professionally done. It looked so classic Christmas, with beautifully hung balsam fir greens and berry sprigs. It smelled awesome. There were three holiday trees all decorated. A large tree stood at the entrance of the barn that blocked the view to the loft as it was so tall and full, filling the entrance way nicely. There was one down near their rehearsal stage, and a very large one up on the loft near The Wall. Behind that one up above was something with a large drape covering it. There were giant ornaments hanging down from the ceiling on beautiful velvet ribbons. The ornaments were musical notes. On every tree there were musical ornaments of glass, metals, and carved woods. It was so impressive.

  I turned to him to comment on how festive this looked but he wrapped his arms around me from behind and I couldn’t turn. He then pulled me into him tightly just so that we were along side the one tall tree, he nuzzled into my neck. I loved that he did this so I had picked an off the shoulder sweater in encouragement to go with my short holiday skirt with boots. With his lips resting on my shoulder, chills traveled through me. I felt his hands release my waist only to slide down to my thighs and with us just out of the sight line of the guests he took his hands up under my skirt. It was quite arousing to be there with all these people and yet have Rand’s tender fingers traveling over me.

  I inhaled and held my breath. He turned me back toward him and kept his hands under my skirt and leaned in for a kiss. He pulled my hips just enough toward him that I could feel his growing excitement. Our kiss lasted for sometime as I had missed him so much more than I wanted anyone to know and it appeared by his romantic gestures only minutes after I arrived that he had been missing me as well. He was so playful with his kisses and licked my lips and then looked up.

  “Do you see something you like?”

  “I see you and I like that,” I commented as I was still so focused on his hands smoothing over my hips underneath the fabric of my skirt and he was lightly stroking my silk panties, and I was focused on his obvious bulge pushing hard into me that it took me a moment to notice what was above. I looked up to see we were under the mistletoe.

  “Do you stop all the girls at this spot?” I asked and he started to laugh. We stayed there for a little bit and continued to kiss with a longing in our lips since we had not gotten enough with our earlier kisses. Then like a fog horn on a boat, the noise sounded. “Hey you two get up here and have fun!” Isaac shouted.

  We joined them all and I was really having a nice time. Everyone was having a drink, some of the holiday food that was spread out lavishly. The guys said Rand does this each year. Maxwell was to be there soon too. I was told he had to go to the airport to pick up someone coming in for the holiday. I wondered who that would be but didn’t ask. There were a bunch of people I didn’t know in the loft, they were briefly introduced to me as they were the road staff that helped them at each location with equipment and such. I got a big hug from Ron and he told me Dahlia couldn’t come today but I told him I looked forward to seeing her at another time.

  Isaac came up to me like a kid and took hold of my hand and led me over to the tree. I thought, oh no, I hope there is no mistletoe in this tree. He told me he needed a Santa’s helper and I was the one chosen. With that he handed me three heavy boxes to give out. The first tag was for Jillian and the next Cecile and then me. We opened them at almost the same time. The band gave us all leather jackets made with Rolling Isaac’s across the back. That was really nice. Cecile put hers on immediately. Then Isaac said, as Rand grinned standing across from him, that they had another present for me. I hadn’t expected anything here today.

  Isaac said that he saw how cramped I looked up here in the loft trying to write and would watch me go from couch to chair and back. At this time, Maxwell arrived and gave me a quick hug too. Isaac, like a magician, went to the covered item near the tree in front of The Wall, and pulled off the fabric covering. I let out a gasp. It was the writing desk I loved so much from my day in New Hope with Rand. Above the desk was a Post-it note attached to an empty brick area of The Wall that read “Madison’s Place.” It was so cute. I felt like I was surrounded by family they had been so warm and nice to me. I went over to Rand and placed my hands into his rear pockets, pulling him close to me. I heard, “What about me?” coming from Isaac who was so proud of keeping this secret and his unveiling of it today. Everyone laughed.

  Rand told me that we could have it delivered to my house any day after they all came back from the holiday season or keep it here if I chose to. I quickly sat in the chair and felt the wood in front of me and felt such a connection to this piece of furniture. It was, I thought, too grand of a present for me, but I think they all wanted to make certain that I was writing nice things about them and this would surely bribe me.

  “So are you having a nice start to the holiday?” Maxwell asked me.

  “Yes, it’s the best since I can remember.” I replied excitedly. Rand stood next to me and I saw him reach into his pocket as his phone sounded. He pulled it out and read his message and smiled.

  I arrived safe and sound, I got to meet your uncle as he was my driver which was nice, we talked on the ride, mainly about you. I could have easily taken a cab but I gave in to your insistence. I will see you very soon, I am nervous. G.

  I didn’t want to ruin this moment. I had been feeling cheerful, but I read that message. Then, I went over it again in my mind. I was starting to get upset, but this was not the place to ask him. I simply asked, “Rand is everything okay?”

  He smiled and said, “Couldn’t be better.” He pulled me in for another kiss. As I returned the kiss, I wasn’t thinking about or really feeling his sensual touch during this moment. My mind was questioning was it better because I was here or better because she was now here? I let myself go, enjoying his kiss feeling that I may not have many more of these moments with him going forward.

  The rest of the afternoon was fun. Rand and the band that never play covers at their shows, took the time to perform one for all on their rehearsal stage. Rand got things started as he jumped up on the stage, pulled his jeans down even lower than where they hung and removed his shirt. His ink gleamed in the lights like a kaleidoscope of colors. He swung his hair back a bit and I was breathless. I stood and thought I was going to climax right there in front of everyone. He must not know how sexy and stunning he looks. I licked my lips and he caught me just as my tongue cornered the side of my mouth, he then pursed his lips and sent an air kiss to me.

  His choice of cover song was perfect, “Do you think I’m Sexy” and everyone had their eyes glued to his body. Right then and there I wa
nted that body. I watched his moves and wanted to take my hands and explore every inch. His song ended too quickly and so did my hot thoughts. Next, Kent grabbed the microphone and sang “Miss You” and he looked at Cecile the entire time. It was Ron that was dead on with his choice of a cover. He stood at his keyboard, paused a moment and then the classic “Piano Man” sounded from his side of the stage. They wrapped it up with some Christmas tunes, Isaac had the band doing a rendition of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” and we all laughed joyously.

  Then a powerful moment came when Raeford keyed the guys for the next song. When he was done, we all had tears welling in our eyes. Raeford soulfully sang, “Oh Holy Night.” Rand too, who had his hand dipped into the waist of my skirt resting just between my waistband and my skin. He took his thumb and rubbed away a tiny tear that formed in his eye and then attended to some of mine. He asked me if I needed a drink or more food to break the teary mood and even suggested a walk out in the cold. I decided a walk would be good. I went and gathered my new band jacket and he grabbed his coat and we stepped outside.