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Unexpressed Feelings

Page 8

by Khadija Rupa


  Okay, I don’t.

  I can’t.

  Last month I met Edward Cullen and Bella Swan in a library between two crispy pages. I made high jumps from page to page, from one mind-blowing word to another, from one wondrous scene to another, and kept looking at him full of wonder. His rhythm of love was almost like yours, believe me— “And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…” Edward murmured in a paragraph that holds the whole twilight world. Bella looked away, hiding her eyes, thrilled at the words.

  “What a stupid lamb,” Bella sighed.

  “What a sick, masochistic lion.”

  But as Bella might freak out seeing me admiring Edward so much, I came out of their world as quickly as possible. How badly I wish she knew you. How badly I wish someday she meets us two, too, in a library between two crispy pages.

  There has always been a part of you in people I meet or pass by or read. If not their height, then your style. If not their face, then at least the way you smile. I start to love all these people more than you. Because when I’m with you, I’m with the love of my life. But when I’m with them, I carefully notice something of you through them, and I fall in love with you. Again.

  I am sure, amidst the huge crowd of my town, if you someday shout your own name out loud, a lot of people will definitely stop and approach you saying they know this name, this you—because you have their t-shirts; some will say your perfume matches theirs; some like the coffee of the café you visit on weekends; some sell your favourite chocolate coffee; and some have the ancient poetry you have been searching for so long.

  Everybody has something of you, like you. But nobody is you. Not even near to. Yet if I ever lose you, know that I would carry a pain that weighs of losing a whole town full of souls I tremendously love. I would lose a thousand of you. Perhaps a million. It isn’t that no one would find me after the town’s destruction. It is that I would never find anyone ever again.

  Not even myself.

  A Thank You Note

  When they broke my trust

  before even building it,

  you fulfilled a trust

  even before you owned it.

  You heard my silence

  when I couldn’t hear or speak;

  wounded by their invisible hands,

  with your visible heart,

  you have healed me. free@symbianize

  Sweet Dreams

  My eyes get closed,

  and it’s you,

  it’s always been you,

  a hundred skies, a thousand moons.

  And a hope.

  That I am there in your thoughts, too,

  to keep you up all night

  and when I fall asleep,

  it’s your eyes that get closed. k12

  Index

  About the Book

  About the Author

  Part One Crying Is Allowed Here Soul’s Void

  The Change

  Inequality

  An Unfair Loss

  Complicated We

  Unpromising

  Blank History

  When You Hurt

  The Saddest Thing

  Crying in the Shower

  False Empathy

  Mean

  Self Torture

  The Unexpressed Ache

  Heartbreaker

  One Way Love

  A Black Lie

  Misunderstanding

  It’s Over

  Closure

  When There’s Nothing

  Left to Say

  Moving On

  Broken Dreams

  Loving Him

  When We Two Parted

  I am Nowhere

  I Don’t Want to Know

  Well Wishes

  How?

  A Rootless Wanderer

  A Hope That Hurts Most

  Happiness

  Generous Grief

  The Universe Through my Window (The Second Type of Loneliness)

  A Meaningless Expectation

  A Prayer That Came True

  Stranger

  My Wasted Sacrifice

  Emptiness

  Sshhhh!

  Remembering You In My Forgetfulness

  Treacherous Market Of Love

  Winter Cries

  A Melancholy Soul

  Black Sun

  Shackles Of Iron

  Disappearance Of Time

  Malaise

  Sadly Ever After

  Sad Girls

  Secret Sorrows

  Strange You

  Unexpressed Feelings

  Flashbacks

  Her Nights

  Special Power (Part One)

  Special Power (Part Two)

  I Wonder

  Thunderstorm

  If

  The Difference

  Law Of Conversion

  A Lovesickness

  Never Again

  When Hands Unhold

  A Cruel Reminder

  Poet’s Last Line

  Illogical Truth

  A Question

  The Heartless Girl

  Unreachable Soul

  Release

  Life Goes On (Part One)

  Life Goes On (Part Two)

  Even Before I Knew

  Part Two School of Lost Souls Soul’s Power: Kintsukoroi

  Life

  Butterfly

  Love

  A Historic Lesson

  Lack Of Love

  Living Through Nightmares

  Know That

  Ego

  Laughing While Bleeding

  Why Do You Write?

  Poet’s Poetry

  Two Sides Of The Same Coin

  Patience

  You Silly Girl

  My Aim In Life

  Remember World Remember

  Last Day Of Eternity

  A Strange Punishment

  The Ocean

  When You Find Yourself In The Wrong Place

  Definition Of Strength

  A Forgotten Hope

  What I Used To Fear Most?

  Self Realisation

  Beauty Of Broken Hearts

  It’s Too Late

  The Healing

  Freedom

  Hope For The Heartbroken

  The Secret To Success

  You are a House

  True Success

  Reality Of Life

  Broken Hearts

  In This World

  Trust In God

  The End

  Part Three Darling It’s Me: Love! Soul’s Light

  A Dedication

  A Powerful Revenge

  A Celebration

  The Happy Beginning

  Beauty Of Love

  The Beginning

  Season Of Falling

  First Love

  Butterflies In The Stomach

  When Love Surrenders

  He And I

  An Old Friend

  What I Love About You

  Until

  He

  Her Effects

  An Adventure

  My Name

  Sorry

  You

  Tu Me Manques

  Pinch Me

  Madly In Love

  Helplessness

  My Empty Body (The First Type Of Loneliness)

  Interchange Of Souls

  His Proposal

  Magical Hug

  Perfect Unsatisfaction

  Language of Love

  Jealousy

  First Fight

  Art Of Compromise

  Our Discussion

  Impossible Adverb

  Answer Me

  A Promise

  Pens Of A Poet

  Ameen

  A Fairy Tale

  A Thousand You

  A Thank You Note

  Sweet Dreams

  Index

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