The Melody of the Soul

by Liz Tolsma

  Georg rubbed the smooth table top. “Who will shop?”

  “The families hiding the Jews. It’s no more dangerous for them to go out and do it than it is for me to bring the food to them. You see, I wasn’t much help to you in the first place.”

  “That is where you are wrong. Very wrong. Please, you have to reconsider. How much does this man mean to you?”

  “It’s complicated.” She twisted her apron string around her finger.

  “Tell me. Make me understand.”

  “I’m not sure I can.”

  “Or you don’t want to.” Pain laced his words.

  “Don’t say it like that.”

  “What other way is there to say it? I thought you were dedicated to the cause. That the plight of these people moved you and compelled you to aid them. I thought you were a woman who cared about the helpless. Perhaps I was wrong, because no Christian woman would turn her back on the persecuted like this to cavort with the enemy.” Georg scraped his chair back and marched from the flat, slamming the door.

  A pain stabbed at her gut, so real that she clutched her middle.

  She’d failed the movement. Failed Georg.

  She’d failed God.

  Horst was more than happy to walk up the steps in front of the stone building he began to think of as home, its graceful arches welcoming him, promising respite. The day had drained him. First Oberleutnant Meier, then his father.

  His father. Horst clenched his jaw. He’d known the man had something to do with the job offer. Always pushing him to do things that went against everything Mutti had taught him.

  But no more. Today was the final strike of the axe on the wedge that broke their relationship apart, an irreparable split.

  No longer would he be the man’s puppet.

  No matter the cost.

  And David. Dying of tuberculosis. How was he ever going to tell Anna she was about to lose yet another family member? This was getting to be too much. Where would it all end?

  He couldn’t let her know. Even if David didn’t forbid it, he couldn’t deal her another blow. She wouldn’t be able to stand it.

  A pair of slippers, a warm dinner, and Anna’s music would help to right day. He let himself into the flat. All was quiet. Good. Perhaps the scare with Stefan had made Anna more cautious. He hadn’t meant to get so angry with her, but she’d put herself in danger peering out windows and opening the door.

  “Anna?”

  She didn’t answer.

  “Anna?” He called a little louder.

  Still no response.

  Maybe she napped. He knocked on the bedroom door.

  “Ja?”

  He peeked in. “Frau Doubeková?”

  “Horst. I’m glad you’re home.”

  “Where is Anna?”

  “Out.”

  He hadn’t heard right. “What do you mean by out?”

  “Not in. I had a spell with my heart earlier this afternoon. She went to get more medication.”

  “How are you? What do you need? She shouldn’t be in public.” He circled the room as he spoke.

  “I’m better, but I need that medication.”

  He knelt beside Frau Doubeková. “I understand. You were in an impossible situation. I’m sorry. I got called away. If only I had been here.”

  She clasped her hands together. “Do you believe in God? Are you a Christian?”

  The question startled him. “Mutti took me to church every Sunday. She read the Bible to me every night, so I guess I am.”

  “That isn’t enough.”

  That much was true. It wasn’t enough. His life wasn’t the same since he’d become lazy with church and Bible reading. Right now, he didn’t have time for God. And God didn’t have time for him.

  “Faith is precious. Cherish it. Hunger for it. Protect it.”

  “Anna has been gone for a while?”

  She smoothed back a piece of gray hair. “I don’t know. I fell asleep.”

  “Tell me where the doctor is. I’m going to find her. Before someone else does.”

  Anna’s grandmother gave him the directions to the man’s house. Anna wouldn’t dare go to his office, because seeing him was illegal.

  Horst patted the old woman’s hand. “Thank you. For everything.” He turned to leave.

  “Young man?”

  He redirected his attention. “Ja?”

  “I know the Lord has great things in store for you. Just remember what your mother taught you when you were young. That will serve you well. God is testing you. Molding you. Shaping you. Allow Him to complete His work.”

  “I’ll be back with your medicine as soon as possible.” He didn’t want to think about what she said. He would work hard and try to do the right thing no matter the cost. But trusting God to take care of him and to lead him? That was another matter.

  People on their way home from their offices and jobs clogged the streets this late in the afternoon. Despite the war, life went on. He dodged a streetcar and several bicycles, their riders ringing their bells at him. Then he crossed the famous Charles Bridge with its graceful stone arches. All along the way, he scanned the area, searching for Anna’s dark head.

  Daylight faded as he arrived in the doctor’s residential neighborhood. The street boasted yellow and pink and green homes crunched together, like a child had glued them side by side. Elaborate reliefs, some painted gold, framed the multi-paned windows. Dentil molding separated the windows from the roofline. Anna made it easy for him to find the right house.

  She stood on the front step.

  “I’m not leaving until I see Dr. Skala.” She refused to permit the woman to shut the door.

  “I cannot allow that.” The young woman who, by her dark dress, Horst took as the maid, tried to push Anna out of the way.

  “Please. I beg you.”

  The girl shook her head.

  Horst rushed forward. “Halten sie.”

  The maid let go of the doorknob and stepped backward. Anna, also, shrank back.

  “You must admit this woman.”

  The maid nodded.

  Horst grabbed Anna by the wrist and dragged her into the house. He shut the door behind them. No need making a scene for everyone on the street to witness. “Dr. Skala. I must see him.”

  Again, the girl nodded and turned to scamper away.

  “Wait. I will come with you.” He didn’t want the doctor to slip out the back entrance when he heard a German officer with a Jewish woman in tow hunted for him. “And you will lead me to him. Do you understand? I will not accept that he is out for the evening.”

  “Yes, sir. I will take you to see him.”

  Anna’s hand trembled in his. They followed the maid down the hall and to a room on the left. The girl tapped at the door.

  “Come in.”

  The middle-aged, balding doctor sat behind his desk, files spread out before him. When he looked up, he stood and gave a Heil Hitler. Anna hid behind Horst.

  He pulled her to stand beside him. “You treated this woman and her family in the past?”

  The doctor sat once more and fumbled with the gold fountain pen he clutched. “Ne. I have never seen her before.”

  Anna gasped.

  Horst leaned over the desk and narrowed his eyes. “That is a lie. Now, I would like the truth. And all of it. Am I making myself clear?”

  The man paled and nodded.

  “Have you ever treated this woman or any member of her family?”

  “Ja. But not since the rules about treating Jews went into effect.”

  “Another lie. You must have helped them, or else why would she have come here?”

  “Sir, I have made it my business not to have anything to do with them. This woman came here today without my knowledge.”

  The maid spoke up from behind Horst. “I told her to go away. That the doctor wouldn’t treat her.”

  “But you will give her whatever she asks for.”

  The doctor put down the pen. “I refuse.”r />
  “Let me make myself very clear.” Horst spoke in his most authoritative voice, one his father would have used. It rang in the small room. “Take care of this woman or face the consequences.”

  Anna stared at Hauptmann Engel, her mouth dry, her breath coming in short bursts. The way he spoke to Dr. Skala, the way he glared at the man, he was every inch the German officer.

  One to be feared.

  The physician stood, papers fluttering to the floor. “Whatever you need, I will get it for you.”

  Hauptmann Engel curved up one corner of his mouth, almost in a sneer. “That is better. Frau Doubeková needs her heart medication.”

  Anna shrank back. This wasn’t the same man who listened to her evening concerts with rapt attention.

  Dr. Skala nodded. “But I don’t have it here. I need to go to my office to retrieve it.”

  “Do whatever you have to.” Hauptmann Engel lifted his chin, tall and proud and condescending. “I expect it to be delivered to Frau Doubeková’s residence within the hour. Do I make myself clear?”

  The stout doctor swallowed. “Ja. It will be there.”

  “Good. I will come back for you if it doesn’t arrive.”

  “No need of that, sir.”

  Hauptmann Engel clicked the heels of jackboots together, gave a Heil Hitler, and strode out the door. Anna followed in his wake. Did he even notice her behind him?

  They trod a short distance down the block before he blew out a breath. His proud shoulders relaxed, and he laughed. “We did it.”

  Anna shuddered.

  “What’s the matter?”

  She couldn’t find her voice.

  “What were you doing on the streets in the first place? You know how dangerous it is for you.”

  “Why do you ask me that? You know.” She hurried to keep pace with his long strides.

  “It’s dangerous. If anyone recognized you—”

  “My grandmother is more important to me than my own life.”

  “If they find you, they will find her. Did you think about that?” His voice raised in pitch.

  She bit the inside of her cheek. Did he regret taking them in?

  A muscle jumped in his jaw. “I’m just trying to protect you. All of us.”

  “I suppose I should thank you for getting Babička’s medicine.” Though she hated how he went about it. Which man was the real one?

  “You don’t need to thank me. I don’t want to see anything happen to you. Or her.”

  They crossed the bridge over the river. The wind here bit through Anna’s coat, and she shivered.

  “Are you cold?”

  “We’ll be home soon.”

  He unbuttoned his greatcoat and slipped it from his shoulders. “Here.” He offered it to her.

  She shook her head. “You can’t be seen giving your jacket to a Jew. Look, the star left a shadow on my coat. What would the people, your colleagues, think of you?” What did she think of him? He was a man of contrasts. From now on, she would have to watch her step around him.

  As they crested the bridge and started downhill, they encountered a group of German soldiers. They laughed and slapped each other on the back. Perhaps they had gotten off duty early and visited one of the area’s establishments.

  When they noticed Hauptmann Engel, they extended the one-arm salute. He returned the gesture she hated.

  The biggest, most muscular of the gang ogled her. “What do we have here? A pretty little Jew by the looks of it.”

  “Leave her alone.” Again, an authoritative chill colored his words. She scooted behind him.

  “And why should we?” The soldier licked his lips.

  “Because I told you to.”

  “And you are so high and mighty?”

  “I outrank you.”

  The soldier stepped to Anna’s side and touched her overheated cheek. “Very nice.”

  Hauptmann Engel pushed him away. He stumbled backward, then sprang forward. “Protecting the little Jew. How noble of you.”

  “You’re nothing more than an overgrown schoolyard bully.” He clenched his fists.

  The man spit in Anna’s face. Her throat closed so she couldn’t breathe. She didn’t dare wipe the moisture away.

  “That is enough.” The red in Hauptmann Engel’s face must match that in hers.

  The ringleader chortled. “Let me see her papers.”

  Now, Anna’s stomach clenched. They were trapped.

  One of the darker haired of the bunch fingered his weapon.

  A scream burst from her. “Horst!”

  Horst spun around at the piercing screech of Anna’s scream. She turned pale and trembled from head to toe.

  “Ah, she knows your name.” The muscular soldier swung.

  Horst ducked, the breeze of the man’s fist passing over his head. He grabbed the young soldier by the front of his shirt. A gun cocked, but he ignored the sound. “Listen to me, and listen well. I can have all of you written up for harassing an officer. Would you like that?”

  One of the other men broke away from the group, a revolver in his hand. “And we could turn you in for relations with a Jew. Would you like that?” He grabbed the hair at the back of Horst’s head and yanked.

  Horst kneed him in the groin. The man yelped in pain, dropping the pistol. Horst snatched Anna by the hand and raced away.

  The crack of a gunshot reverberated in the air. He didn’t stop running. Anna came along with him, so the bullet must not have found its mark. Residents heading home after a long day stared at them. They made a spectacle of themselves. Attracted attention. Something they couldn’t afford to do.

  Horst slowed. Anna gripped his sweaty hand, breathing hard. He dragged her around a corner onto a quieter side street before stopping. He turned to her, scanning her for blood. “Are you hurt?”

  She shook her head.

  “I’m sorry. It was foolish of us to take such a main road. We should have sneaked around a back way. What was I thinking? We were asking for trouble.”

  Anna pulled herself free from him. “I thought they were going to kill you, then take me away.”

  “I think they would have. I’m thankful you weren’t hurt.” He reached out to stroke her arm, to comfort her, but she pulled away. “What is the matter?”

  “You are the problem.”

  He stepped backward at her harsh words. “What do you mean?”

  Her brown eyes widened.

  “You don’t have to be afraid of me.” Or did she? Blood whooshed in his ears. The brute from Kristallnacht reemerged with too much ease. That time, he’d been the follower. This time, he was the initiator. Was that all he was? A tyrant? An oppressor to be feared?

  “Why shouldn’t I be? You are the enemy. You and your people want to rid the world of me and my people. At any moment, Babička and I could be arrested, taken away, sent to die. My family has been. My dear friend has been. Soon it will be me.”

  “Ne. I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

  “You’re such a man of contrasts. You bullied the doctor into giving you the medicine, yet you keep a child’s toy hidden in an armoire.”

  Ah, she’d found the little boy’s train. “I couldn’t dispose of it. It meant something to that family, so it means something to me.”

  She stared at him, hard, long, intense. “Who are you?”

  She didn’t trust him. The truth slammed into him harder than if he walked into a brick wall. And why should she? She was right. He was the enemy. In front of him lay an opportunity to send thousands upon thousands of people to their deaths. If he wanted the power and the prestige, he could have it in a moment.

  But those things meant little to him. Her in his arms. That’s what he wanted. For a moment, he couldn’t draw a breath.

  He stared at her. She didn’t smile, didn’t relax.

  What was it going to take for her to trust him?

  Horst bumped along the country road, headed toward Theresienstadt once again. For someone who desp
ised the place, he came here often enough. He needed an excuse to see David, so he told Oberleutnant Meier that he wanted to meet with him once more about the position.

  Not that he had any intention of accepting it. What his fellow countrymen did to other human beings sickened his stomach. Though he tried to block out the images of ill, suffering, dying people, they haunted him day and night. For weeks now, deep sleep had eluded him.

  The appearance of distrust on Anna’s face that day on the bridge haunted him even more than the people of Theresienstadt. Not that he blamed her. Look what had happened to her family. What was happening to her brother.

  But hadn’t he proved himself to her? Proved himself to be better than almost everyone else who wore this uniform and spoke this language? He took her in. Got her grandmother medicine. Protected her on the bridge.

  Yet it wasn’t enough. Unless . . .

  Nein, it was too crazy. Out of the question. Then again…? He rubbed his temple. Where had this sudden idea come from? Was God trying to get his attention?

  It was insanity, really. Pure, true insanity.

  He gripped the steering wheel until he lost feeling in his fingers. Nein. He would do nothing crazy. Just see Meier and try to sneak David a little food. That was all.

  He honked for a gaggle of geese crossing the road to hurry on. When the birds reached the other side, he stepped on the gas a bit harder. If he allowed this foolish idea to take hold, he couldn’t race ahead and put any plan into motion before he fully developed it.

  He arrived at the little village now bursting at the seams. More Jews had arrived since his last visit, and the place was more crowded than ever. Already tens of thousands inhabited the few square kilometers. How would they ever fit in even one more person? He could never allow Anna and her grandmother to end up here.

  He parked the car alongside the main barracks and made his way up the steep stairs to Oberleutnant Meier’s offices. The dark, dingy little room reeked of stale cigarette smoke. The Czech secretary, haggard and frumpy, showed him into the main office. “Oberleutnant Meier stepped out for just a moment. Wait here. He will be back soon.” She shut the door behind him.

  He lit a cigarette as he studied the faces staring back at him from the pictures on Meier’s desk. Two little kids, almost cherubic, a boy and a girl. A beaming bride on Meier’s arm. An older couple, hands clasped, in front of a mountain chalet.