Stocking Stuffers: A Five Story Christmas Anthology

by E. J. Darling

  But mostly, I wondered if he thought about me.

  The time between Christmas and New Year’s in Aspen was nuts. Swarms of visitors filled the slopes, the shops, and the bars. Over the next few days, I got up, went to Breck’s, worked until the wee morning hours, and went home to crash and do it all again. It was all hands on deck, and I was all in. I smiled and laughed and flirted. Tips were plentiful.

  Every so often, though, a tinge of sorrow would creep in. The Colorado blue spruce dotting the mountainsides reminded me of his eyes. Rinsing the washrag brought his words from that first night back to me. I always wondered what happened to you. While washing tables, I could almost feel our first kiss. The crisp night air took me back to our walk through the Glory Hole Park to his suite.

  And I craved enchiladas and tres leches cake like never before.

  It all filled my chest with a consistently wistful ache.

  Finally, it was New Year’s Eve, and Breck’s was raging. I welcomed the chaos that kept my mind from roaming back to Christmas Day. I was tough. Hardened by hardship. I just needed to get through this little bit of heartache, and I’d be fine and dandy in the end.

  As the clock ticked away the old year to ring in the new, though, I slipped a little. I envisioned him walking through the door. Striding across the room to grip my hair in his hands to kiss me hard at midnight.

  But the strike of twelve came and went. All around me, people cheered and kissed and sang Auld Lang Syne off key. Should old acquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind? The words had never meant much to me before, yet tonight they made my eyes burn with unshed tears. With a deep breath, I brushed them away and continued to wipe down tables and deliver drinks, pretending I wasn’t dismayed that my foolish little reverie went unfulfilled.

  My three stooges ended up closing down the bar. Rather than calling a cab, I offered to give them all rides home. I was still pretty keyed up from the hectic night, and the drive seemed like a nice way to chill before I got home. My little cabin seemed too quiet without Ty there. Around town we went, stopping at their houses one by one. First Larry, then Frank, and finally Phil who lived on the outskirts of town across the valley from my place.

  “You gonna be okay to get home, kiddo?” Phil’s white caterpillar eyebrow arched as he looked over at me in the pale glow of dash lights.

  I gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m fine, really. I could about drive that road with my eyes closed.”

  “Well, for Christ’s sake, don’t try that tonight.” He started exiting my truck, but paused with a solemn nod. “I kinda figured we’d see that young feller of yours tonight.”

  My heart lurched with a little pang, a tightness that crept up into my throat. “He’s not mine, Phil. He was lovely, but he’s not mine.”

  “It took me a while to place him, but once I thought about it, I remember his family.”

  “Yeah? How did you know them?”

  “We built their house right about the time his brother started training for the Olympics. Quite the skier, but kind of a little asshole.”

  “Yeah, I agree,” I snorted.

  “Ty, though, he was a good kid.” He stared out in the darkness for a moment. “He’d have been good for you.”

  I lowered my gaze, focusing on the instrument panel of my truck. Something mechanical to wipe the wretched, illogical emotion from my heart. “Just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.” I swallowed hard, and forced a teasing grin as I looked back over at Phil. “So how come I never knew you were such a mushy old fart?”

  “Ha! Yeah, just don’t tell the ladies at the senior center. I practically have to beat them off with a stick as it is.”

  With a smile and a Santa Claus twinkle in his eye, he climbed from my truck. I waited for him to shuffle through the snow and safely inside before pulling away and turning back toward home.

  Halfway down the mountainside into town, though, I stopped. Aspen’s street lights glowed across the valley below me. The excitement had waned now that the bars were closed, but the occasional spray of fireworks still lit up the sky. Up where I was, the sounds of celebration were muted, yet faintly carried through the cold wintery night.

  My thoughts again turned to Ty. I allowed myself a moment to soak up the memories coursing through my mind. To imagine his touch on my skin and mourn the faintest hint of what could have been, so I could wake up in the morning to a fresh new year, free of any lingering remorse.

  I’d always shied away from social media, but as I sat there on the mountainside watching the occasional glittering fireworks over Aspen with Ty so heavily on my mind, I finally caved and grabbed my cell. Quickly setting up an account, I immediately searched for him. My heart skipped when I saw his face. Those blue spruce eyes. His dark umber hair. That smile that melted my icy insides.

  The quiet mountainside had soothed my melancholy, but his face brought it all back full force. Memories of Ty standing outside Breck’s looking so innocent when he clearly wasn’t. The day that followed with my popped tire, the snow angels, and the best enchiladas ever.

  But more than anything, just that solemn comfort I felt when I was wrapped up tightly in his arms.

  There were photos from his time in the service, mostly in the typical army green T-shirt and camo pants, but one in his dress blues that made my lungs seize up and my heart pitter-patter. A few pics from everyday life in Colorado Springs. There were a couple shots of him and his brother as kids, some of him and his folks. Any photos of Amber were noticeably absent, and I felt somewhat grateful, even if I did want to get all snarky about her appearance.

  Every picture affected me. Some warmed my heart. Some warmed my vagina. Some made me laugh. Some made me tearful.

  Once again, I mentally chastised myself for feeling so much when I wasn’t supposed to.

  Then I saw the little messenger icon.

  I told myself multiple times it was a bad idea. I berated myself for even thinking of it. But I still downloaded that app, too. Then opened and closed it a gazillion times.

  And then I typed one little word.

  Hey

  I stared at it, calling myself all kinds of stupid. My stomach felt like it was doing Zumba. Badly. I felt like I was going to hurl, and I opened my window to breathe in some crisp mountain air. My eyes closed as I inhaled long and slow in an attempt to soothe my raging mind.

  And I heard a little ping.

  Hey

  I stared at his response, mind blankly grasping for what to say. I hadn’t thought this far ahead. In fact, I hadn’t really thought at all. I’d pushed all my apprehension aside and just done it.

  But he responded. Almost immediately. So maybe…

  How you doing?

  My cheesy Joey Tribbiani question sat there taunting me. The longer it sat there, the more fucking idiotic it felt. Exponentially so when he replied.

  You should go home

  I frowned. What the hell?

  Fuck off, I’m not drunk

  It was there in text before I even realized I’d typed it. After all, that’s totally what I’d say, drunk or not.

  Gin, go home

  I wanted to ask him a million questions. What had happened when he went back to Florida. How were things with his folks? Did anything go down with his brother and Amber?

  But he clearly wasn’t in the mood to chat. Granted, it was beyond the middle of the night in Aspen, so it was practically morning in Florida. And God only knew what kind of crap he’d been putting up with there.

  At any rate, he didn’t seem too excited to hear from me.

  With an angry dash at my tears, I quickly deleted the app from my phone. All those things I’d been feeling were just me after all. I needed to just remember the good in our time together and let go of the childish daydreams I still harbored for Ty Sievers.

  So with that grim determination, I went home. Up the rocky mountain road at a snail’s pace. I sure as fuck didn’t need a flat tonight. My track record with luck wasn’t great as it was, so I d
idn’t want to tempt the fates.

  When I turned into my drive and rounded the trees, my lights flashed off an unfamiliar Jeep, and my foot slammed hard on the brake. I didn’t want to hope, especially after the little mental lecture I’d just given myself. There had to be some other explanation why someone would be there.

  But then I saw Ty sitting on my steps. I crept my truck forward and parked, my eyes wide. My mind desperately hoping this wasn’t just some weird delusion. I climbed out and walked over to him, halting a foot or so away. My mouth felt dry and my heart pounded in my chest.

  “You’re not in Florida.”

  He stood, descending the steps to stand before me, his eyes holding mine under the glow of the Christmas lights. “I’m not in Florida.”

  “What are you doing here?” My mind reeled, and apprehension tangled with giddiness to bubble through my chest.

  “When I came to Aspen, I already had the ticket to Florida. My folks were expecting me the day after Christmas, and, God knows, my mom would have killed me if I’d backed out, even with all the shit that went down with Amber and Cory.” He rolled his eyes, and huffed out a long sigh. “But I didn’t know where I was going next. As I sat there under the palms in the balmy air, I kept thinking about something you said. About Aspen feeling like home. You were absolutely right. This is the only place that ever really felt like that to me. So I’m back.”

  I could barely breathe. Barely think. “Okay, so you’re thinking of moving back, but why are you here? At my house. In the middle of the night on New Year’s Eve? Or day, whatever the fuck it is right now.” I knew what I wanted him to say so badly.

  “Okay, don’t freak out,” he urged, holding up his hands.

  I instantly started freaking out. On the inside, at least. Outwardly, I bit my trembling lip and allowed him to continue.

  “I know you have this whole independent thing going. But I have a confession to make.” He paused for a second, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he seemed to find the words he was looking for. “When that shit went down with my ex and my brother, I felt lost. I didn’t know what to do. All my plans were shit. All I had was a ticket to Aspen and a room at the Gant, and I almost canceled them both. But then, I remembered you.”

  My brows knit tightly together, and I narrowed my gaze at him. “You didn’t even know me then.” It almost sounded like I was the reason he still came, but that didn’t make sense. Kinda stalkery hot, because I strangely dug that sort of thing, but the concept really wasn’t rational.

  “No, I didn’t know you, but I remembered you. I always regretted being too chickenshit to talk to you back in high school. So I came here for Christmas and looked for you. Everywhere.”

  My heart skipped about ten beats, and my lungs froze in my chest. “Did you know I worked at Breck’s?”

  He shook his head, huffing out a chuckle. “No. I looked for Virginia Roche, not Bennett. When I couldn’t find you, I thought maybe you’d moved away. That you found someone and were living happily ever after somewhere else. I’d completely given up when I came into Breck’s. I felt so defeated. And then I looked up and realized…you were you.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me then?”

  “It all came back. The whole chickenshit feeling.” He grimaced, eyeing me carefully. “And honestly, I kinda felt like a stalker by that point.”

  My entire body swayed like a young quaking aspen in a summer storm. I felt dizzy. Faint. “I need to sit down,” I gasped.

  “Shit, here.” He slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me close and guiding me up the stairs to the cabin. I numbly held out my keys, and he unlocked the front door, then eased me through it to the couch.

  The whole way, I stared up at him. He looked good. He looked really good. He still hadn’t shaved, and his beard had grown in thicker. His arms felt heavenly. And his voice…Christ.

  At the moment, though, his eyes looked concerned.

  “I freaked you out,” he murmured with a frown.

  “No,” I quickly gasped. “I’m…I just…I had no idea. Jesus, Ty, we’d never even spoken to each other before Christmas Eve. Up until then, I had no idea you even knew I existed, and now you’re telling me you came here for me.”

  It was hard to even say it. I wanted it so badly to be true, but it seemed so inconceivable.

  “I know. I get how crazy it is. I’ve been going back and forth in my brain since I left. Fuck, we were together for a day and a half. And then I about killed myself to get here by midnight tonight, but then I got a fucking flat tire and by the time I got here the bar was closed. Can you believe that shit? It’s insane. Who the hell does this?” He shook his head in sheer bafflement. “But, Gin, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you. I couldn’t stop thinking about us. I want to see what we can be.”

  I jumped up, taking a few steps away. Needing to be cognizant of all the reasons this was a bad idea when all I wanted to do was kiss him. To fall into his arms and let this happen.

  But how the fuck was this supposed to work?

  “Ty, what about your ex? Your brother? I know you said you don’t think you really loved her, but you seemed heartbroken when I first saw you. Maybe you’re just rebounding like a motherfucker. Your whole life was thrown up in the air.” I choked on the air in my lungs, all my fears pouring out of my chest in a blathering whirl. “This was supposed to be a merry little hookup. You were only here for a couple days. It wasn’t supposed to be anything more than that.”

  “Tell me, does it feel that way to you?” He rose and strode over to me, eyes darkened. Frown deepened. Shoulders tensed up and jaw clenched.

  I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer, and they spilled down my cheeks. My thoughts fluttered around in my head, anxiety colliding with promise. I finally shook my head. “This never felt temporary to me. Batshit crazy, yes. But it was all I could do not to ask you to stay.”

  Ty exhaled, long and slow. He cupped my face with his hands, and his whole body slumped as the tension evaporated. “I didn’t think it was just me. I never felt anything remotely like this with Amber. With anyone. Fuck, why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Why didn’t you?” I laughed back through my tears. “This argument sounds sorta familiar.”

  His thumb brushed my ear, and he gently tugged me towards him. My eyes closed as his lips grazed my forehead. I melted into his bulky frame, my hands grazing his flannel shirt under his parka, and vaguely wondered if this was really happening. If he was really here. It seemed too much like a naughty fairytale come true.

  He lifted his head and smiled down at me, a glimmer in his beautiful blue-green eyes. “So, anyway, I was wondering if you might like to go out sometime.”

  “Oh my God, you’re certifiable,” I laughed, wiping the tears from my cheeks. “But yes. Yes, I would.”

  Epilogue

  Christmas Eve, one year later

  * * *

  “Gin, we’re going to be late.”

  I was just finishing off my makeup with a silky slide of sugarplum lipstick and turned to give Ty an air kiss.

  He groaned and walked into the bathroom, settling his hands on my hips as he looked at our reflection in the mirror. He looked stunning, his dark hair still high and tight, but he tended to wear it more tousled these days. I had a habit of running my fingers through it. Gripping and pulling it. He probably just got tired of combing it. Tonight he was dressed in a crisp white shirt and new jeans. He truly looked ever so fuckable.

  Of course, I always thought he was ever so fuckable.

  “We don’t have to go tonight,” he murmured against my neck. His teeth nipped slightly, making me gasp as an aching need began to form low in my gut. “I can think of a million other things I’d love to do with you than have dinner with my family.”

  I turned in his arms to face him. Poor guy was clearly dreading tonight. It wasn’t like we hadn’t seen his brother and ho-face before now, but as expected, it had been tense. Brief, thank God, but definit
ely tense, mostly because they were absolute assholes. However, I also sensed in Ty a bit of that kid who still felt a chill from being in his brother’s shadow.

  When Ty’s mom suggested they come to Aspen for Christmas, Ty had been on board. Then Cory and Amber decided to come, too, much to the dismay of Ty and me. Fortunately, we had our little oasis out in the woods and the rough winter road that prevented them from just popping in.

  But tonight was Christmas Eve, and Ty’s mother had begged for a family dinner. She wanted so badly for bygones to be bygones. Honestly, she was pretty sweet and very hard for us to say no to.

  “I’m not afraid of them, Ty.” I turned to face him, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck and pressing myself up against him. “You shouldn’t be either. You’re a gazillion times the man your brother is. Besides, it’s just for an hour or two.”

  He lifted me to the counter, plopping my ass next to the sink. His hands gripped my hips and he pressed his arousal hard against me. “I could just fuck you now and make sure we’re late.”

  “You could,” I gasped. I was always ready for more Ty. Always wet. Always aching. “But this is for your mom.”

  He tipped his forehead to rest against my shoulder, his breath hot on my neck as he exhaled rather dramatically. “Fine.”

  “But,” I whispered heavily into his ear, “when it’s over, we can come home and you can do anything you want with me. Over and over and over.”

  “Mmm, like naked hot tubbing under the stars?” Ty groaned deliciously, referring to our newest purchase for the cabin settled nicely on a flagstone patio just off the front porch. He pressed a hard, fast kiss on my lips and rested his forehead against mine. “Just so you know, I’m going to tell my mom you’re bribing me with hot tub sex.”