Lara fell back tiredly, soaked in sweat and weakly pushed Sonny’s shoulder to tell her to stop. Sonny moved up, wiped her mouth a napkin she’d placed on the side table and held Lara in her arms holding her close and safe as Lara went off to sleep murmuring something that sounded suspiciously like, “I love you, Sonny”.
******
“A million, honey,” Lara insisted seriously, “I had a million orgasms the last time around.” She’d woken up from her nap ravenously hungry for fried food. She’d ordered three portions of French fries and was demolishing them purposefully as they sat on the opposite ends of the sofa.
Sonny laughed softly at her gross exaggeration. “So are you saying we won’t make love as soon as you’re through?”
“Not if you want me to still exist tomorrow. Any more fucking and I’m going to get sublimated into the almighty Brahman.”
“We can’t have that, there’s too much you still got to do,” Sonny chuckled. “Plus, I don’t think I can live without you,” she added softly.
Lara’s breath caught. She looked at Sonny, her eyes wide, hope lurking in them. “I’m sure you’d find a way,” she mumbled leadingly, trying to be deliberately casual.
“The point is that I don’t want to,” Sonny said looking at Lara deeply.
Lara’s eyes took on an intensity that was unique to her. “Why, Sonny?” she whispered, dropping any pretence of casualness.
“I love you, Lara,” Sonny said, her expression bare. “I know we haven’t known each other all that long, but if you count the number of hours we have spent together…that got to account for something. I think we have built in enough hours with each other to make it at least three or four months of knowing…sorry…rambling again,” Sonny cut herself off.
Lara wiped her hands on the soft Turkish robe she was wearing and walked over to Sonny, climbing into her lap, straddling her. She held Sonny’s face between her hands. “Say what?” she asked in a low voice.
“I love you, Lara. I think I have since the day we met.”
“Not on first sight?” Lara asked teasingly.
“Maybe. Do you believe in love at first sight?”
“Don’t you?”
“I certainly believe in it. In fact, I think that is the only way to fall in love.”
“I believe in too…because it’s happened to me.”
“I thought you’ve never been emotionally involved with anyone.”
“So far,” Lara corrected. “I love you, Sonny,” she said softly, “I love you with every breath in my body…with every fibre of my being. I love you.”
Lara leaned down to kiss Sonny softly. An affirmation. A promise.
And Lara had one more orgasm in her to seal her words.
************
“What do you want to do today?” Lara asked Sonny as they snacked on finger food and sandwiches as a very late lunch on Sunday. They’d spent the night sleeping only intermittently. They’d been awake most of the night either making love or just cuddling and talking. It was almost four in the afternoon on Sunday that they rolled out of bed.
“I was thinking maybe I should get a haircut?” Sonny ended her statement in a question as she put her plate away. “My hair has been like this since forever and I want a change now.”
“Hmm…how long has it been like this?” Lara asked eying Sonny’s hair, mentally seeing her in different styles.
“Thirty years? More? I don’t know.”
Lara’s eyes widened in surprise. “And you never wanted a change?”
“No.”
What Lara knew, and Sonny probably didn’t, was that most women start with their hair when the want a do-over. It could either be the first action to initiate a change or an indication that they had changed. Sonny was clearly feeling a change in herself and instinctively wanted a visible change. Not noticeable unless you knew what it meant, this need spoke volumes to Lara about the impact she had on Sonny.
“Any thoughts about what you want to do?” Don’t get ahead of yourself, Lara, she might only want a trim.
“I was thinking something asymmetrical or maybe a pixie cut.” Okay, wow…a complete makeover.
Lara straddled Sonny’s lap brushing her fingers through Sonny’s hair. “Maybe a pixie…one of those wild mussy untamed cuts that never need combing. You have the waves and curls that will take that kind of cut perfectly,” she said running her fingers through Sonny’s hair. “Maybe highlight the tips?” she suggested.
“Oh! I’d love that.”
“Let’s get you an appointment with David Mallet,” Lara said decisively getting up and going to get her phone.
“David Mallet?”
“Considered the best stylist in Paris.”
“I don’t think it would be that easy to get an appointment with him. They may be a waiting period of weeks or months”
“Sweetie, there are some benefits of being rich and famous and knowing rich, famous and important people,” Lara winked at Sonny as she called Tanu to get the appointment fixed. As always, Sonny was totally taken by how matter-of-factly Lara embraced her status and how down-to-earth she was about it. There was zero trace of arrogance in her about her clout. And she didn’t shy away from it with false modesty either.
******
“I love it,” Lara ran her fingers through Sonny’s trendy short hair with red and blonde highlights at just the tips.
“So do I,” Sonny looked and sounded thrilled at her new look.
They thanked the hair genius and walked out.
“Want to go for one of the classical music concerts in a cathedral?” Sonny asked.
“Ooh, yes. Sounds interesting.”
“All the places are gorgeous, but Sainte Chapelle is really dramatic,” Sonny suggested, “It’s a shame that after that fire in Notre Dame that is no longer a venue.”
“Sainte Chapelle, it is. Walk there?”
“It’s not close,” Sonny warned.
“We’re in no hurry,” Lara smiled. “I know you like to walk around unless it is uphill.”
“Do you remember every single thing I’ve told you?” Sonny asked, secretly overjoyed that Lara had paid so much attention to her.
“I truly hope so,” Lara said sincerely.
And Paris – no, the world – took on a new colour, a new perfume, a new energy.
************
“No more, Sonny,” Lara gasped. “If you touch my clit or nipples one more time, I might have to kill you,” she groaned. It was a few minutes past two in the afternoon on Monday and they’d made love almost non-stop since they returned back from the concert the previous night around eleven. It turned out that they both were right about being insatiable except that by now Lara was so overly sensitised and tender that she was almost in pain. “Let me sleep for some time and then we are going out,” she said tiredly.
“Okay,” Sonny kissed Lara’s temple and made to get off.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Lara asked grabbing Sonny’s hand.
“I thought I’d take a shower and read in the drawing room.”
“No, please,” Lara sounded forlorn. “Will you please hold me while I sleep?” she sked imploringly.
“Love to,” Sonny was a person who liked all the cuddling, snuggling and being together. She was just worried that Lara would find her too needy and clingy. Sonny knew she tended to be that and didn’t want to suffocate Lara, especially given that Lara had been ferociously independent all her life. Sonny lay back and spooned Lara.
“Never let me go, Sonny,” Lara mumbled.
‘I never will’ Sonny promised silently.
******
“Wow! That’s gorgeous. Look at those wings, the folds of the robe,” Lara stared at the headless sculpture standing proudly atop a ship as they climbed up the steps making their way to meet Mona Lisa. It helped that the Louvre was barely ten minutes strolling distance from the hotel where they were staying and they could just casually walk there.
“That’s
the Winged Victory,” Sonny supplied, “I think it’s still being unearthed and assembled.”
They walked along at a leisurely pace enjoying all the displays. “I think I’m way more floored by this building than by any of the fantastic displays – and that’s saying something,” Lara confessed as they approached a window overlooking sculptures lining the building outside after having their fill of Mona Lisa.
“This building is incredible,” Lara was totally enjoying herself. She loved discovering how much she enjoyed lazing in bed with Sonny. How much she enjoyed just flaneuring around. How much she enjoyed museums and concerts. How much she enjoyed being a part of a makeover. Or is it all just because we are together? Is it just that I enjoy being with Sonny and doing everything and nothing with her?
“How is it that though I cannot handle being actually touched all I can think of right now is you taking me?” Lara said with sultry softness as they stood in front of Napoleon’s Coronation.
“Really?”
“Yes…and right now you look exactly like that poster child of self-satisfaction,” Lara smiled referencing the painting of David having just slain Goliath that they’d seen and Sonny’s observation of it.
“I have reason,” Sonny grinned. “What specifically are you thinking of?” she quirked her brows at Lara.
“I love your nipple play. I love it when you run your thumbs over my tits. Pinch and pull them. Twirl them. Tweak them. I love feeling your mouth on my nipples, licking, sucking, biting…” Lara’s voice was pure sex.
“Okay, you got to stop,” Sonny said in a strangled voice.
Lara looked at Sonny whose eyes had become only pupils…she was that turned on. Lara had an idea, a theory. She started dragging Sonny away tightening her grip on their entwined hands.
“Where are you taking me?” Sonny asked.
“Back home,” Lara replied, “So that I can tell you more,” she husked.
******
Lara led Sonny directly to the bedroom, taking off Sonny’s t-shirt, shorts and panty quickly. She pushed Sonny onto the bed and slipped her hand between Sonny’s legs and found her sopping wet.
Lara lay on top of Sonny and spoke softly into her ear. “I love to my cunt in your hand. It is like your hand and my pussy are specifically designed for each other,” she nipped Sonny’s ear lightly.
“I love it when you draw circles around my opening, it makes me go crazy,” she started rubbing Sonny gently.
“I love how you dip your fingers inside just a little to torture me,” a lick on Sonny’s ear, “and how you swirl your fingers through all my folds before reaching my clit,” she was rubbing Sonny harder.
“When my clit is all hard and throbbing and you flick it, I swear a shock of electricity passes right through me like lightening running inside my veins,” Lara moved her hand faster as she felt Sonny beginning to squirm.
“I love everything you do with your tongue in my pussy and right now I am living all those times when you roll my clit with your tongue.”
Sonny went stiff under Lara as she shattered under Lara’s hand.
“Fuck,” Sonny exhaled softly. The very uncharacteristic swearing from Sonny told Lara volumes about the experience Sonny’d just had.
Lara lifted her head and looked at Sonny who was breathing heavily and looking stunned…overwhelmed.
“Not completely anorgasmic after all,” Lara smiled sweetly, making heart eyes at Sonny before dropping her head and kissing Sonny softly on her lips.
Lara’d found what Sonny needed to get off. Fantasising about doing Lara, hearing Lara talk the fantasy and talk dirty, and rubbing. Lara could do that for her.
She totally got Sonny’s self-satisfaction and smugness when she had Lara undone time after time – Lara felt the same satisfaction right now. And the languor creeping into Sonny’s body told Lara that Sonny was a one-and-done person…which right now was good enough for someone who thought they had anorgasmia.
******
“We need to talk,” Lara said when Sonny came out of the bedroom. While Sonny slept, Lara had taken a bath and had made herself comfortable in the drawing room to read the new scripts that she’d got.
“Those words never bode well,” Sonny said, deadpan, “Should I be worried?” she asked walking to the sofa where Lara was sitting and taking the other end of the couch.
“No…at least, I don’t think…,” Lara gulped. “Sweetie, this movie is going to be intensive,” she said.
“I know.”
“It’s on a tight budget and everything is planned down to a T.”
“That’s good, right?” Sonny wondered where this was going.
“Filming will be done across three countries in the next nine months and as a co-producer, I’ll be busy even during the short breaks between shooting since I’ll be involved in the planning and other production aspects.”
“Okaaay.”
“After that we’re entering the movie into the major film festivals – Venice, Cannes, Toronto, Sundance, Berlin, Melbourne, San Francisco and maybe even Hong Kong. So there will be a lot of travelling and promotional activities for that.”
“Umm hmm.”
“What I’m trying to say here is that the next fourteen months are going to be a whirlwind. Plus if those two other movies work out, it will be so much more hectic…” Lara said nervously.
“So you’re not going to have any time,” Sonny stated blandly.
“Honey, I am wrecked,” Lara said, her eyes speaking fear. “I can’t lose you. Us.”
Sonny closed her eyes momentarily heaving a sigh of relief at Lara’s words. At knowing that they were…it wasn’t just a temporary thing for Lara.
“Sonny,” Lara called, “Did you actually think that I was ending it? That I was telling you that I don’t have time for us?” she sounded offended.
“Kind of,” Sonny mumbled.
“I’ve told you I love you! Just what do you think of me? Do you think I’m in this for a fling? Or maybe I’m just filling time while I wait for the rest of my life to get back in gear, huh? That I am bi-curious? That I’m just having a little bit of fun?” Lara flushed with anger as the words spilled out.
“I’m sorry…I didn’t know what to think,” Sonny said contrite.
“Oh! So because you didn’t know what to think, you thought the worst – of me,” Lara got up, agitatedly pacing in front of the sofa. “You thought that I am going to disappear. That I don’t mean what I say. That everything I have been saying to you so far means nothing. That my emotions are superficial – or did you think I was just acting all this while? Yeah? The actress can’t have real feelings, right? Or what?…she’s an actress and her feelings have no depth…she’s superficial? What was it, Sonny?” A sob caught her and she flounced out of the room into the bedroom banging the door shut.
******
Sonny sat there a little shocked. Reeling under the onslaught of Lara’s outburst and a lot ashamed. Very, very ashamed of herself. She’d assumed. Lara had always been nothing less than completely honest, upfront and transparent with her. Yet, Sonny had assumed.
Even now, Lara wanted to talk. Discuss. And Sonny’d nipped it in the bud.
A realisation entered Sonny’s circle of internal self-flagellation.
She didn’t doubt Lara.
No, Sonny’s reaction had entirely to do with her own lack of self-worth. She didn’t believe that anyone truly wanted her. Or even if they did, she remained transient for people. No one had ever tried to make it work with her on a long-term basis. She’d always been dropped. Dumped. Not wanted.
She had to explain to Lara.
******
Heart thudding a mile a minute, Sonny walked into the bedroom and found Lara curled up in a fetal position, crying into a pillow that she hugged close.
She slid behind Lara, laid an arm over her and kissed Lara’s neck.
“Go away,” Lara mumbled into the pillow.
“Jaan, I never doubted you or your feelings,�
� Sonny said softly, pressing herself into Lara. Lara sniffed into the pillow, unrelenting.
“Really, it’s not you, it’s me,” Sonny said.
“That is the most trite and disgusting sentence ever,” Lara snapped.
“But it’s true. Can I please explain?”
Breathless Page 13