Make-Believe Marriage

by Ferreira, Dill

- So it was your wish to have your own family soon? - She asked.

  - I will have... - Antônio said realizing her insecurity. - … my family. You, Lucas and me. - He said smiling.

  - You are unique, did you know that? You say those things so I should not feel guilty by exposing you this way - whined Amanda.

  - I'll be happy to see that you are all well and safe; stop blaming yourself for everything. I said I'm a pretty big boy and I know what I am doing. Right? Antônio wanted to be able to tell her that everything was going as he had planned, but how could he say that without causing anguish to that beautiful woman? His only way out was to insist until she accepted the fact and stopped playing the martyr for everything.

  I didn‘t mean anything by it. - He had the ability to remove a lot of bad thoughts that went through her head.

  - I hope not, really! - He joked. - I'll have to go on a trip for the next few days; if you need to talk to me I'll be on this phone and on the mobile number you have - he said changing the subject.

  - All right. - Amanda thanked picking up the card. - Do you want something to drink while I get dressed? – she asked.

  — No, thank you. I'm fine. - Antônio replied.

  Amanda took her bath in record time not to have him wait too long and got dressed. She was putting some light makeup on when she heard him walk across the room. Curiously, she hurried to meet him. When she returned Antônio was already seated and watched her intently giving the impression that he had approved her choice.

  Despite having gone through motherhood changes, Amanda, aged 27, still had elegant and perfect body curves; she was certainly a beautiful woman and Antônio knew it well. Disguising contentment he started a conversation.

  - Your apartment has always pleased me, it is very cozy. He said. - But I still think that living in a house is best for a child. It has more space. He finished and Amanda agreed with him

  - I like it here a lot, but I can get used elsewhere. - She explained and that is what he expected to hear.

  - You will like the house. He had planned the decoration based on his and Amanda’s tastes, observing her apartment. Not only because he had always yearned to share space with her and her son, but also because Antônio felt good in her apartment. There was peace and harmony there. Everything a home needed to be happy. Shall we?

  Amanda followed him kind of afraid. She did not know what to expect. In her heart she hoped that the house was airy with nice colors at a safe and quiet neighborhood. Those would be the necessary attributes to make her feel good in a new home. But inside her Amanda believed she’d rather like Antônio’s choices. He was a wise man and certainly analyzed the personality of people before putting up something simple or extravagant. In her case she preferred the more traditional style and hoped that this was also his taste.

  Antônio parked the car in front of an elegant two-story house in an upscale neighborhood near downtown. There was a beautiful garden on the side. And on the other side a large garage had been built; all had been paved with light flooring in abstract drawings. There were many windows in the house, which certainly made it light and airy throughout the day. A beautiful wooden door made up the external beauty and so far everything was within Amanda’s expectations. Amanda was surprised when they went in. The house was ready to move in, with new painting and furniture.

  - The work of an excellent and renowned architect. - She mentioned loving every detail.

  - Did you have any doubt about that? - He wondered taking her hand to get her to visit all the property.

  The rooms were large with carpets and curtains everywhere, providing a sophisticated character to the environment. The furniture of each room was harmonized, matching all the accessories and the colors of the walls. Antônio, like her, preferred warm colors in contrast to the cold ones, so as not to tire the vision. And bore future residents. The beautiful lamp placed on the corner remembered an old movie that she had seen long ago. Two leather upholstery chairs in beige made up the first living room. A beautiful sideboard with a Cora Coralina frame was in the corner, near one of the fluttering curtains. In the other room, which was separated only by large upholstery, a large TV and video room also very airy. The white curtains in lace covered the dark windows from where you could see part of the garden. A little further down, the last room was impressive with a beautiful wooden table and worked chairs, possibly by hand, such as the beauty of the design. In that room there were fabric blinds leaving the room a little more formal and reserved. A sideboard with flowers and a large oval mirror in the background was in the center, just behind the large table. Two pictures, one on each wall, completed the lush and well made decor.

  Everything was marvelous in her eyes. Realizing her approval, Antônio took her arm and took her to see the rooms upstairs. A polished wooden staircase, and also worked, went up like a snail and light from above showed almost everything that left her dazed. They came to a large room with huge windows which also opened onto the garden. The room colors were light, giving it an air of romance. A huge bed in the center with beautiful small paintings adorning the bedside. The blinds were installed across a glass wall where one could see the back of the house.

  - Come see something. - He picked up her hand again and they went to the closet that opened up to a door. When it was opened a huge closet emerged next to a beautiful bathroom with a bathtub that fit two people together and more. Amanda admired so much beauty.

  - This will be our room. Did you like it? - He asked.

  - It is beautiful, Antônio. I have no words to describe such beauty. - She said jubilant. Amanda had forgotten that home would not be hers for too long. It seemed that the house would be her blossoming place for many years. That was the feeling that consumed her every step she took there. Looking again at the space suddenly something caught her attention, almost breaking the spell. - But will we share the same bed? - she asked self-consciously.

  - Do not worry, when we sleep together I will use that sofa bed. - He pointed at a corner.

  - All right. - She said knowing that it would be less problematic for both.

  - Come with me. I want you to see Lucas’s room. Down the hall he opened a door and they went in.

  - It is beautiful Antônio!! - She remarked in admiration. As in the previous room, it was all in plain, discreet shades, including the furniture. There were toys on the various shelves taking part of a wall. The child’s wallpaper caught her attention because it had characteristics of her child. “That must have been a coincidence," she thought. A computer and a study table stood in the corner, ready to be used. But it was with the bathroom that she was enthralled. The walls were fun. The tiles were all decorated from the floor to the ceiling. There was also a bathtub with toys around it. It was a space where any child, even those who did not like bathing, would be happy and feel like real children.

  - It is all very beautiful Antônio!! Where did you get inspiration to do all this? - She wanted to know.

  - Your son helped me a lot. - He confessed. - Although I have none and cannot have children, I know how to observe the likes of a child - he boasted.

  - Maybe one day you can adopt one. - She said changing the subject, knowing that even as an old piece of information, Antônio still suffered from it.

  - Would you accept him? - He asked surprising her. “Why did he want to know her opinion?" she wondered.

  Of course I would. There are so many children in need of a home, I would adopt one for sure. - She replied.

  Great! - He exclaimed. Amanda smiled spontaneously when he pulled her to continue the exploration. Shall we? - He suggested.

  - Gentlemen first. - She pointed and followed. - Amanda was looking forward to seeing more of the beautiful house where she would live for as long as the agreement existed.

  The other rooms were also very beautiful, each with its own bathroom, airy and with a couple of chairs at one of the ends. In the small kitchen everything was planned and modern. The utensils were all organized and clean.
/>   - Do you have someone coming to take care of the house? - She asked realizing that everything was tidy and in order.

  – Yes. My employee comes here twice a week to clean. - He explained.

  - Your house is beautiful. - She said when they were getting ready to leave.

  - Our house. - He corrected. Although she knew the unreality of the situation, Amanda had been happy to see that he tried at all costs to make everything look as truthful as possible.

  - Now I'll take you to lunch at my house. I think you have never given me this honor. - He remembered making a face at her. “The promised day," Amanda thought.

  - I was never invited. - She joked when they went out together.

  - If you had been, you would not have accepted either - Antônio defended himself, opening the car door.

  - Maybe I would. - Amanda replied. Or maybe not. - They both looked up as a couple about to be at their home and briefly that complicity between them appeared normal to Amanda's eyes.

  - Let's pretend that we believe this. - He spoke skirting the car, got in and went to the other side of town.

  Amanda already knew his house. She had been there with her son for a couple of times. This would be the first time that just the two of them would be together.

  - So today I will try your food. - She remarked as they went in the garage and Antônio parked the car.

  - In fact we are actually going to eat the food that Dora left ready - he explained - I never considered myself a good cook – he confessed.

  - I can say the same. - She had also decided to make her weaknesses clear.

  - So I believe that my cook will be welcome in our home. - Amanda found the sentence strange. Was he saying or asking?

  - There is no doubt that she will be welcome, of course. She agreed.

  Amanda was invited to sit while Antonio went over the kitchen to put the food in the oven to heat. The house where he lived was a lot smaller than that where they would live. Antônio would give up that beautiful and comfortable space to go and live in his own home, and Amanda felt guilty about it. How would he feel at the end of the agreement? When they had talked about it, he had said that the house was too big for him to live there alone, but he would be alone in it, sooner or later, and maybe he wouldn’t find a place as good as that one in the vicinity, which would be her fault. He deserved to have someone better than her to spend his time, she thought. Upset, she kept looking at the few photographs he had displayed with the family.

  Lunch had been better than she had expected. The food was really swell. The pasta was delicious. After lunch, Antônio showed her a few projects he had been working on and others he was preparing. Among the projects was the house where they would live. Watching the details of the project, Amanda could see it was new, it had been drafted a few months back and seemed to have been changed several times, as if ideas kept popping up from a single observed point in time. Interesting: that conclusion.

  – Amanda. – he said bringing her back to reality. – I entitled myself to draft a few possible dates to hold the ceremony. – Antônio said, handling a piece of paper over to her.

  – Great Idea Antônio. We have been talking about the wedding, but we have forgotten all about the date. – She remarked picking up the schedule. – How about in two months? – Amanda asked after reviewing the text.

  – Don’t you think it is too long? - He said sorry for mentioning that date. The last date he had set, just not to appear rushed, since all the others were for earlier dates.

  - It's enough time to get used to the situation. In case you want to give up on it, you will have more time. - She joked.

  - I will not give up – he said seriously. - I'll be with you until the end. - Amanda was ashamed for having made him think that she doubted his words. She knew that Antônio would not leave her, although sometimes she wished he did, out of fear of hurting him and why not, hurt herself, because the future was an enigma.

  - Do not think that I doubt that you’ll really go all the way with me. It's just that sometimes I wish you would break that promise, which seems increasingly crazy. - She justified herself.

  - If you want it to be broken, you break it. I do not intend to do so, dear. - He had been sincere and at that moment, Amanda noticed that their union would materialize no matter what happened, because she would not have the courage to refuse the good help of her friend and because he would not break his word. The best option then was to get used to it and accept that fate for both. She wished only that everything went as well as possible.

  Oops, sorry... I should be thanking you every day, and not trying to make you change your mind – she concluded embarrassed.

  Antônio took her hand and placed in on his mouth kissing it lightly. His kindness still frightened her, no man used to help a woman without having ulterior motives, but out of respect for Antônio, Amanda could not see anything that could benefit him there. He had never hinted he was interested in her. They were true friends, that's all. The marriage subject was dropped and then they could talk about their lives for a long time until Amanda said it was time to go.

  - Thank you for your company. It was a beautiful day. - She thanked him as he left the door of the building.

  - Friends and future married couples are for such things. - He said giving her a kiss on the cheek.

  Amanda took the night to do a brief analysis of the costs and profits of her store that were returning her good results and took the chance to check on what sector of her store she should invest more, since the capital was beginning to grow. The work had taken so much of her time that she only realized what time it was when the phone rang.

  - Amanda? - asked the old, familiar voice.

  - Yes, Breno! - She confirmed tired of all the accounting and of the ex-husband.

  How was your day? I was in your apartment and you were not there. - He seemed visibly upset by her absence.

  - My day was very good, thank you – she answered without telling where she had been.

  - Were you out with your friend? - Breno asked but got no answer, which made him lose the artificial calm. - You do not think that I believe there is something between you and that man? - He was determined to spoil the rest of Amanda’s night. She was sure of it. In fact, that seemed to be the only purpose since he had returned.

  - What you think or do not think means nothing to me, Breno. - She paused not to utter heavier words to the father of her child. - Now if you'll excuse me, I need to rest, it's very late. - Without waiting for an answer she hung up the phone, taking it off the hook and went to sleep. If someone wanted to talk to her they would have the number of her mobile phone.

  Amanda arrived at the store early on Monday since they would have a full day which would not give her time to waste on frivolities such as her former husband, who certainly would come looking for her after the call the night before. Breno was bothering her for days now and insisted blatantly to invite her to dinner and she always refused. On that day he could witness her lack of time and maybe he would just leave her alone.

  - Don’t you have time to eat, Amanda? - He had asked the previous week.

  - When I'm hungry I grab anything to eat, a light snack. - She replied at the time without getting angry.

  But he was not intimidated and continued pushing. On that particular day she would have a good alibi. Amanda was surprised he did not call; she was already used to his calls and even missed them, but then she was thankful for some peace and quiet.

  By late afternoon she had news of her son which completed her good start of the week. Antônio would be busy, like her. Amanda then decided not to bother him by sending only a text message saying that they would talk the following day.

  Chapter IV

  On Tuesday, for Amanda’s dissatisfaction, Breno called early.

  - We need to talk. - He said on the phone. - And don’t you make any excuses, I will continue insisting until you get tired and accept. - He spoke without any hint of embarrassment by her refusal. List
ening to him talk that way Amanda realized that the man was in no hurry and seemed to rejoice in the disturbance that he caused to her. Analyzing better, Amanda decided that she would have to act against his expectations. Her “no”, Breno already had and he did not care to hear it again. She’d accept the invitation and maybe she would discourage him right away.

  - At what time, Breno? - Amanda asked determined to put an end to that nuisance.

  - Is 11 all right by you? - He smiled on the other end of the line visibly pleased to have won. - I'll be waiting here. - She said drily. Amanda would give him one more chance not to upset her again, but she would do it for her son. One day, he would get tired of being rejected and leave her alone.

  - Will you have lunch with him? - Carol asked surprised and upset.

  - I will. Perhaps if he really sees my total lack of interest in him, he will decide not bother me anymore, at least this week. “How could it be that a person was so set on being so low”, she thought annoyed while talking to Carol remembering her ex-husband’s attitudes. Breno had no idea when it was time to stop disturbing. His arrogance prevented him from accepting a “no” and made him a man without limits and without respect for himself. He would have to change his life or he would be a very bad example for his child.

  - Attitudes such as these rarely settle an issue, Amanda. Stay on the alert and try not to make a lot of mistakes with respect to you ex-husband. He may misinterpret and get even worse - advised the girl.

  - Worse than he already is Carol. God forbid! If this keeps up I'll need to ask the judge to issue a restraining order. - Amanda said, smiling, but inside, she was very troubled by all this.

  - Treat him as he deserves and stop worrying about the fact that Breno is the father of your child and put him in his place. He did not think of any of you when left you without a penny. Of course there must be respect between you, but you don’t have to endure assaults every day, just to keep a good relationship between parents; that’s total harassment. - Amanda heard her friend speak agreeing with her nodding her head.