Jake leaned close, his lips brushing my ear. “You don’t realize it, but people flock to you. You make them comfortable, treat them no differently than you would the Queen of England or the Pope. The public loves that you are well spoken, but down to earth. I saw an article in the New York Times that called you the people’s voice.”
I chuckled a little and turned to meet his gaze. The world was in a sad state if they thought I was someone worth looking up to.
“But I don’t even know what to do if there is a nuclear fall-out.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“That was random, even for you.” Jake tucked some of my hair out of my face.
“I can’t be a role model or the voice of the people. I don’t know how to get rid of cobwebs and I also don’t know what to do if the country faces a catastrophe.” I frowned.
“You better get us to that hotel quick. I think the President’s daughter is suffering from a mental breakdown.”
“Shut it.” I elbowed him with a laugh. It was nice to have him joking with me again.
The little inn was adorable. A huge home was attached to a building with a restaurant sign and large oak trees offered plenty of shade. The staff was more than helpful, setting up a room block for us and the aides that had been traveling with us. There were only a few other patrons and most of them were in their rooms.
“Do you have a workout room?” Jake asked the front desk clerk. She was younger than me and looked up at him with a dreamy smile.
“Yes we do, Jake. I mean, Mr. Simmon.” Red colored her cheeks and I felt bad for her. Jake was worth blushing over. “It’s at the end of the first floor hallway.”
“I’m going to get some sleep.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Jake. We’d paid for separate rooms at every place that we stayed even though we hadn’t used both. It was just easier than dealing with the rumors ordering one room would start. “I don’t think I can keep my eyes open for another minute.”
“I need to stretch.” He looked down at my face and I could see the tension lining his jaw.
“Sure.” I smiled at him. “Wake me up when you’re done and we can get some food.”
“Get some rest, Maddie. We’ve been up for a day straight.” He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. “I need to blow off some steam.”
My mouth stretched open in a big yawn. “Okay. To be honest, the only thing I really want is to take this stupid dress suit off and sleep.”
He grabbed the handles for our suitcases and we went upstairs to the rooms.
“You okay?” He stopped outside of the elevator and was rubbing his knee.
“I’m fine, Maddie.” Annoyance laced his voice and I tried to not let it hurt my feelings. We were both tired and frustrated after the last few days. I couldn’t wait to get back to swinging a hammer and ignoring the cameras.
I stopped at my door and pulled out the key card. I opened my door and propped it open with my hip before holding my hand out for my suitcase.
“Get some rest.” He kissed the top of my head. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”
“See you later.” I tugged the heavy suitcase into the room but Jake stopped the door from closing.
Jake held it open with his free hand. “I really am fine, Maddie. Sitting in the car for so long just got to me. I’m sorry I snapped at you.”
“Jake, I asked because I care, not because I think less of you.” My shoulders slumped. “I am allowed to care about you, right?”
“Yes,” he said. He pulled me into a quick hug. “I’m an asshole and assholes need lots of care and patience.”
“If you can ask if I’m tired or angry, I should be able to do the same, right? That’s part of being in a relationship. Sharing each other’s burdens and making sure we’re okay.” I rubbed my hands up my arms. “I don’t like feeling as if I can’t ask how you’re doing.”
“You’re right, that’s not working.” He lifted my chin with one finger. “Since we are sharing, are you going to tell me what’s going on with my mother?”
I jerked my chin from his grasp in shock. I’d been hoping that he hadn’t seen or heard about that interview. I tugged the suit jacket off and threw it on the back of the desk chair. I kicked my shoes off and used my toes to fling them in the corner. “I’m tired and irritable. I’m sorry.”
“Maddie.” His voice took on a frustrated tone. “You only want to share my burdens, not the other way around. That isn’t fair.”
“It’s not that.” Was it? Was I being hypocritical? “It’s not really a big deal. You know how reporters are always looking for sensationalized headlines.”
“You and I both know that my mother is always a big deal. She has a way of jumping in and making sure she is in the thick of things.” His eyes turned hard. “Did she threaten you?”
“Your mother doesn’t scare me, Jake.” I started to turn away from him and his fingers tightened.
“What did she do, Maddie?”
“She offered her help.” I shrugged.
“What did she want in return?”
“It doesn’t matter. I turned her down.” My voice rose a little and I clenched my fingers into fists. “I’m not making any deals with the devil.”
I froze and my eyes widened.
“Don’t look like that.” Laughter bubbled out of Jake. “She might be my mother but even I’m not immune to the stink of sulphur.”
“I’m sorry, Jake.” I shook my head and wiped at my face. “I’m tired.”
“Me too.” He moved his hands to my shoulders and massaged them gently. “I don’t want you to deal with my mom by yourself.”
“There’s nothing to deal with, Jake. I told her no, that’s the end.” Just remembering how she wanted to change me hurt.
“She wanted you to leave me, didn’t she?” Jake narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. “She threatened the bill if you didn’t.”
I looked over his shoulder to the open door and quiet hallway.
“I don’t want to talk about this right now,” I explained. “Anyone can hear us.”
“It’s harder to open up than you thought, isn’t it?” He frowned. “I’ll try to be better but you do too. Being in the car that long felt like being trapped and I don’t deal with that so well anymore. It means I have a shorter fuse right now.”
“I didn’t know . . . I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes. “I shouldn’t be so irritable.”
“I think we’ve earned a chance to be irritable.” He grabbed my fingers and brought them up to his mouth. “Look at us having our first argument.”
“A milestone of sorts I guess.” I rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but smile. “Not much of a fight. No yelling or screaming. I didn’t even get to throw a pillow.”
“You flung some shoes across the room.” He nodded toward the corner. “That should count for something.”
“But I didn’t fling them at your head.” I pouted up at him. “If I’d realized that was my only chance I’d have aimed better.”
“I’ll have to remember to invest in a helmet if I piss you off again.”
“You didn’t piss me off, Jake.” I frowned. “You hurt my feelings. There’s a difference.”
He didn’t say anything for a minute and I wondered what he was thinking.
“I’ve never really done the long-term relationship thing before, Maddie. I’ve dated women, seen them for a while, but nothing serious. This is new for me and that means I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to say stupid things and do something that pisses you off.” He stepped closer and folded his arms around my waist. “But I promise that I’ll never do it on purpose and I’ll try to learn from my mistakes.”
I rested my hands on his chest and pressed my head against his shoulder. “I’ll be patient if you’ll be patient. I’m going to make mistakes too.”
“Anyone would be irritable after all of those interviews and constant travel. We’ll be better in the morning. You get some rest and I’ll work some steam off.
” He looked down at me and I met his gaze. “I heard they make waffles.”
“I do like waffles.” I pressed a kiss to his lips.
“I know.”
Chapter 20
Jake
I’d been on the rowing machine for half an hour but still couldn’t seem to work off the edge I’d been carrying the last week. I’d tried to text Cyrus earlier but hadn’t gotten a response. I didn’t want to text Kyla because she had more than enough on her plate.
Kyla was more than busy with a brand-new baby, a toddler, and a very sick husband. When I’d talked to her on the phone a few days ago, she’d done her best to sound chipper and on top of things, but her voice had cracked when explaining about Cyrus’s back and the baby had been crying in the background.
Guilt ran rampant through my mind even though I knew that both sets of their parents were there to help. I didn’t need a doctor to tell me that the guilt stemmed from our accident in Afghanistan. If I’d been a faster pilot or noticed the men on the ground, I could have avoided the accident that caused all of Cyrus’s injuries and the rest of our squad would still be alive.
I gave up on the rowing machine and headed for the treadmill. Despite my preference for running outdoors it wasn’t going to happen today. The inn was situated on a busy road and the weather was cold and wet. Maybe I could run long enough and far enough I wouldn’t be worried about anything else.
The door opened and a few women walked into the gym with big smiles. I nodded briefly before turning back the window in front of the treadmill. I put my earbuds in but didn’t turn on any music. My goal was to just be left alone.
Lost in my thoughts I didn’t notice the flash of a camera phone. It wasn’t until one of the Secret Service agents moved into my line of sight that I realized something was wrong. The agent’s mouth turned down and he coughed into his hand. I slowed down the treadmill until I was at a steady jog. Pulling my earbuds out I looked around to see a curvy brunette in well-chosen exercise clothing staring up at me with a flirtatious smile.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hog the machine.” I turned it off and used my towel to wipe off the bar. “Here you go.”
“Actually, I was wondering if you’d take a picture with me. Please?” She smiled up at me and despite the fact that I was sweaty and tired I nodded my head. I’d been trained to make the public happy and it took no time to take a picture.
“Sure.” I stood there while she handed her phone to her friend. She wrapped her arm around my waist and pressed her head against my chest. I waited patiently while her friend took the picture, but couldn’t make myself smile.
“Me too?” The friend smiled and stepped over to my other side before I could answer.
She lifted the camera in front of us and pressed her head to my side like her friend. There was a clicking sound and she checked the image before giggling.
“One more!” Her hand moved down my backside lower than was appropriate. “Just one more! Make a funny face!”
“Excuse me.” I stepped away from the girls and nodded to the agent. “I’ve got to go.”
“C’mon. Just one more?” She smiled up at me but I was out of patience.
“No.” I turned away and one of them grabbed my arm. I jerked out of her hands with more strength than I should have and she fell back against the treadmill.
“Hey!”
“I’m sorry,” I said. Leaning over I helped her up. “You shouldn’t grab people. You startled me.”
“I’m going to need you two to leave the room.” One of the agents stepped between us.
“You don’t own this building!”
“We just wanted a picture,” the girl with the wandering hands explained. “He didn’t have to freak out.”
“You restrained Mr. Simmon. You can’t treat people that way.” The agent pointed toward the door. “Return to your rooms, please.”
“We came here to work out.” The first girl put her hands on her hip.
“Agent Destin will escort you back to your rooms.” One of the men stepped forward and cupped her elbow.
“Hey!”
“Hush, Amanda.” The second girl shook her head, her eyes wide with alarm.
“This is crazy!”
I listened as their voices faded down the hall. The lead agent looked out the door before nodding his head.
“They’ve gone up to the second floor. You’re clear to leave.”
“Thanks.” I took the stairs closest to the gym and made it to my room on the fourth floor without any interruptions.
I took a quick shower and got dressed, still too antsy to sleep. My stomach grumbled and I decided that food might help. I stepped into the hallway and started for Maddie’s room but stopped. She needed her sleep and I’d promised to wake her in the morning. I’d grab some grub by myself and maybe watch a game on the television at the bar.
“Going out, sir?” Tony stepped out of another door down the hall and I looked at him, confused. It took a second for me to realize that he was wearing civilian clothes and that was what was throwing me off.
“Thought I might get some food.” I jerked my chin toward the stairs. “Are you off?”
“Mandatory shift change.” He shrugged.
“Hungry?” I asked him.
“I wouldn’t mind some company.” He nodded his head and matched my stride.
There weren’t many people in the tiny publike restaurant. There was a football game playing on a flat-screen television in the corner above the bar. The menus were on laminated card stock; nice and simple.
“I’m Matt,” the waiter announced. He turned the chair backward and sat down. He was wearing a simple black shirt and had a pen stuck in the collar. “What can I get you guys to drink?”
“I’ll take a soda.” I tapped the menu against the table.
“Water,” Tony said.
“Got it. Have you had a chance to look over the menu?” He plucked the card from my fingers and turned it over. “Here are the daily specials. Tonight is Shepherd’s pie, one of my favorites.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Tony ordered a burger and shifted his chair so he could see the football game on the television.
“College game.” He leaned back in his seat.
“Before Afghanistan I didn’t really care about watching sports. I liked to play, but didn’t see the point of watching it on television.” I nodded my thanks to the waiter when he set my soda in front of me. “Now, it’s just a nice way to spend an evening. Normal.”
“If you can call grown men with their chests painted normal.” Tony laughed.
We laughed as we watched the game and ate our dinner. I ordered a second soda and propped my leg up on the chair next to me. There were only a few other people left and no one was paying us any attention as we watched the game and talked bullshit.
“Did you see that? That was a bullshit call!” The waiter threw his towel at the television. Tony leaned back in his chair, the front two legs coming up off the floor while he laughed at the guy behind the bar.
I’d cleaned my plate and debated ordering another batch of onion rings when my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and flicked the green icon to answer.
“Hey Kyla, how’s it going?” I settled back into my chair.
“Jake?” Her voice was the exact opposite of every time I’d talked to her in the past. Gone was the bubbly, happy young woman; instead it sounded like someone had ripped her soul out.
“Kyla? What’s wrong?” I leaned forward, every muscle in my body tense.
“Where are you? I can’t get hold of Maddie.” There was a wet sound and I could picture her wiping her nose on her arm. “Is Maddie with you?”
“No, she’s asleep. What’s wrong Kyla? Are you okay?”
Tony set the front of his chair back down on the floor and I saw his professional persona slide back into place. He sensed danger.
“No. No, I’m not okay.” Her shaky voice sent my pulse into overdrive. “I
s there anyone else with you?”
“Kyla, tell me what’s wrong.” She was scaring me. “Did something happen to the baby? Korbin?”
“No, no. Savannah and Korbin are fine.” She sniffled into the phone. “We came home from the hospital today. Cyrus was supposed to meet with a home nurse.”
I held my breath, trying to stay calm, but I knew whatever was coming would be bad.
“He’s dead, Jake.” A low keening sound followed her words that ended on a sob. “I didn’t want you to find out on the news. He’s gone.”
“Cyrus? Cyrus is dead?” The wind left my lungs as if I’d been punched.
I sat there, listening to her cry as I tried to understand what could have happened, what could have gone wrong.
“Kyla?” I asked. Her crying had slowed and I tried to make out what she was saying.
“He killed himself. Why would he do that?” Kyla’s broken voice was like a knife to my heart. “Why would he leave me?”
“He committed suicide?” I gripped the edge of the table so hard that my knuckles turned white. “What happened?”
“He said he wanted to nap and so I stayed out in the front of the house with the kids.” She hiccupped. “My mom had run to the store to get some groceries.”
I sucked in a deep breath and then another. I couldn’t get enough. I shoved up from the chair I was sitting in and started to pace. Kyla was talking but I couldn’t understand what she was saying. None of it made sense.
“I don’t understand.” I shook my head, trying to clear it.
“He shot himself, Jake. He left a note.” She cleared her throat and took a breath. “It said he couldn’t take care of us and didn’t want to be a burden. He wasn’t a burden. I don’t know what I did that made him think he was a burden.”
“You did nothing wrong, Kyla.” I tangled my fingers in my hair and pulled. It was longer than it had been in years. “Listen to me. This isn’t your fault.”
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