The sound of her sobbing filled my ears until someone else took the phone from her.
“Jake?” Kyla’s father’s voice filled my ear. “Jake, is this you?”
“It’s me.” I stopped walking and stared at the wall.
“Kyla didn’t want to upset you, but insisted on calling you herself.” The old man coughed to clear his throat. “Reporters started showing up a little while ago and she panicked.”
My throat tightened and I stared up at the ceiling. “She doesn’t need to be worrying about me right now.”
“She knew this would hit you hard.” Kyla’s father took a deep breath. “Is Maddie with you?”
“She’s asleep.” I was aware that someone was trying to get my attention, but I refused to look at them.
“Are you going to be okay?” The man lowered his voice.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Take care of Kyla.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Tell her not to worry about us and let me know what I can do to help.”
“Thanks, Jake. You’ll tell Maddie?”
“Yeah, I’ll tell Maddie.” He hung up and I looked down at my phone.
“I really need to talk to you.” Someone touched my shoulder but I didn’t look up. “Jake, we need to make a statement.”
I watched as the screen on my phone went dark.
“C’mon Jake.” Martin, one of Mom’s goons, shook my shoulder. “Snap out of it. We’ve got to be quick.”
“Back off, Martin.” I heard Tony in the distance.
“We have to get ahead of this now. Jesus, we can’t wait for him to get his shit together.” Martin’s voice rose. “Jake, Jake! You need to get it together.” His voice was drowned out by the ringing in my ears. “No wonder he fucking crashed in the desert.”
I heard the sound of my phone smashing into the brick wall behind the bar, I heard Tony call for reinforcements, and I heard the sounds of my fists slamming into Martin, but nothing else. The only other sound was the ringing in my ears as I threw the pompous little shit to the ground.
Someone tried to restrain me and adrenaline surged through my veins. There was a crash somewhere and I heard the sound of someone holler and the shifting of feet. My vision narrowed and I dropped into defensive position. They weren’t going to take me without a fight.
I shook my head hard enough to rattle my brain. I didn’t even know who was after me, but it didn’t matter in the end.
“Jake, it’s okay.” I heard a familiar voice but it was mixed in with the ringing and hollering.
Cyrus? No, Tony. A bodyguard.
The smell of blood filling my nostrils was quickly joined by the smell of smoke. My eyes stung as memories of being trapped under the helicopter wreckage flashed before my eyes. I could almost feel the heat from the fire as Cyrus called out for Kyla.
Something restrained my arms and I fought, the memory of not being able to move too real, too raw.
“Jake?” Someone called my name, breaking into my thoughts, and I jerked backward. My good leg caught on something and I couldn’t keep my footing with the prosthetic. I went down on my side hard and something crashed under me. My head bounced off the floor and my vision doubled.
“Are you hurt?” The voice was above me, but I could barely make it out. “Jake, are you hurt?”
“Get him to his room.”
“Call a doctor.”
“Stop!” I roared. “Take them first!”
Tony moved into my view. “Jake, you’re not in Afghanistan. Understand me?”
I stopped fighting and looked up at the man. No, I wasn’t in Afghanistan any more, but it was still all my fault.
Chapter 21
Maddie
A loud banging shocked me awake. I could hear what sounded like arguing voices in the distance but dismissed it as a television. The room was dark when I finally opened my eyes. It took me a minute to remember where I was and why I was still wearing a button-down shirt. I rolled over in the bed and wiped at the drool that dried on my cheek.
My phone was flashing on the desk across the room but I ignored it and went to the bathroom instead. I was about to flush the toilet when someone knocked on my door again. There was no mistaking the angry voices in the hall now. I shot a frantic look around the dark room for my pants.
“Just a minute!” I found the lamp and switched it on. My pants were partially hidden under the desk and I quickly pulled them on.
The knocking came again only louder.
“Maddie, we need you.” Tony’s tight voice made me look up in shock. In all the years I’d known him, he’d never once asked for my help.
I didn’t bother to button my pants or find shoes, I threw open my door to find several agents surrounding a belligerent Jake. There was a nasty bruise along one of his cheekbones that would eventually turn ugly and he was limping as if something had happened to his prosthetic.
“I told you to leave her alone.” Jake slammed his fist into the wall next to his room door.
“Jake?” I rushed forward but several of the agents blocked my way. “Jake! What’s wrong?”
He didn’t look at me, just stared at the hole in the wall. I wasn’t sure he’d even heard me.
“Maddie, have you talked to Kyla?” Tony stepped into my line of vision and I was surprised to see blood dripping from his nose. “Have you checked your messages?”
“What?” My eyes went back to where Jake stared at the wall. “What happened to Jake?”
“Have you checked your phone, Maddie?” Tony reached a hand out toward me.
“Leave her alone.” I barely recognized Jake’s voice. He sounded like an animal, something wild and feral.
“Take him to his room.” Tony gripped my shoulder and leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I need to talk to you. Alone.”
That was when all hell broke loose in the hallway of a tiny hotel in the middle of nowhere.
“Don’t you fucking touch her!” I wouldn’t have known that rough growl was Jake’s if I hadn’t seen the words ripped from his mouth. “Don’t you touch her. She doesn’t belong in this!”
It took seconds before he’d escaped his retinue of agents, knocking two senseless before he had his arm around Tony’s neck. One of the men pushed me out of the way and I fell against the half-open door to my room. It gave way and I slid to the ground in an undignified tangle of arms and legs.
I gasped loudly and touched my head gingerly.
Jake was an animal, his unintelligible roar filled the hallway and I cringed at the anguish in his voice. I’d seen him lose it, but never like this, not like he was somewhere else living something else. Someone slammed into his back and he fell with a loud grunt into the door frame before landing at my feet. He pushed up from the floor once before falling back down and not moving.
“Jake!” I scrambled to him, but he didn’t move. Carefully I checked his face and head, looking for injuries. “Tony! He’s not answering me.”
Panic flooded my system as I cradled Jake’s head in my lap, blood staining my fingertips from a cut near his temple.
“Get a doctor.” Tony’s cool voice snapped orders at the people around him. With deft fingers he checked Jake’s scalp and neck. “He’s knocked out but he’ll be okay.”
“Tony, what happened?” It took me a second to realize tears were running down my face and that’s why I couldn’t see clearly.
“Let’s get him to his room and I’ll explain.” Tony and another agent hefted Jake’s unconscious form from my lap before another one helped me to my feet.
They laid him on his bed and one of the agents brought wash rags and a bucket of ice. I stood off a little, not sure what to do. I didn’t want them to move him any more than they already had, worried about trauma to his neck and head.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” I stared at Tony as he checked Jake’s head.
“Kyla called.” Tony looked up at me from where he was holding ice against Jake’s temple.
“Kyla?” I frowned as my stomach knotted.
“What did she want?”
“From what I could hear, she tried to call you first, Maddie. She was scared of how Jake would take the news.” Tony’s eyes were shadowed. “Cyrus killed himself today. Said he didn’t want to be a burden any longer.”
“No, they just got back from the hospital. Things were going good.” I shook my head. “They had a plan and people to help them.”
“Sometimes that doesn’t translate right for people. Cyrus wasn’t just hurt on the outside. You noticed he was hiding things, seemed down at times.” Tony’s eyes shifted back to Jake before looking at me again. “Just like Jake has been hiding things.”
“But he killed himself?” I reached behind me for something to balance my weight. The room shifted and despair crept up my throat. “Oh, God. Kyla and those sweet babies.”
“I’ve called and people are there helping and keeping the media at bay.”
“The media? Those fucking dick hounds are nosing around? That’s the last thing that family needs!” Rage filled my chest.
“Calm down, Maddie. I know you want to help them, but you have a bigger job right now.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’ve got to stay calm for Jake. He needs you right now and from what I know of him, he doesn’t like to need anyone.”
I looked at Jake where he lay on the white bedspread of the hotel bed. I covered my mouth to try and keep the bile down and closed my eyes.
“He’s going to think this is his fault.” I sucked in as much air as I could and blew it back out. “Cyrus was the only member of his team to make it back from Afghanistan.”
Tony nodded his head and looked back at Jake. “You can’t make his guilt better, but you can be there while he works through it.”
“He’s supposed to be seeing someone. I promised him—I promised to treat him like I always would if he found someone to talk to about it all.” I sat down on the other side of Jake and wrapped my fingers around his hand.
“The doctor is here.” An agent I didn’t recognize stuck his head in the door.
“Do we know this guy?” We couldn’t let some random person come in and check out the Vice President’s son.
One of the ladies from the PR firm walked in ahead of the doctor holding a stack of papers. “Doctor Bonnette has been informed of what will happen should any details of this visit be made public. He has also signed all of the correct security forms and has a clean record.”
“Thank you, Nicole.” I stood up and looked at the papers briefly before turning my gaze to the man holding a doctor’s bag. It wasn’t the leather ones you see in movies, more like a paramedic’s bag; a black duffle bag covered in pockets and bursting at the seams. “Doctor Bonnette, thank you for coming.”
“I’m happy to help.” The older man moved to the bed and sat his bag on the floor. “Can you tell me what happened?”
Tony shot me a look before I could answer and replied instead. “It’s been a long week, Doc. We were downstairs watching the game and had a few beers. Just blowing off some steam. Needless to say, the roughhousing got a little out of hand and Mr. Simmon’s prosthetic gave out.”
“I see.” The man used a pen flashlight to check Jake’s pupils. “And he hit his head at some point. The gash on his cheek shouldn’t need stitches, but he’s bruised up pretty good.”
He stuck his penlight back in his pocket and traced Jake’s skull with his fingers, gently checking for an indication that anything was amiss.
“I’m going to clean his cut and prescribe medicine for his pain. He’s going to be miserable when he wakes up.” He dug in his bag and found the supplies he needed. “Should I check his leg while I’m here?”
“Can that wait until he wakes up?” I leaned forward and watched as the doctor cleaned Jake’s cut.
“Absolutely. My office is just down the road and I can be here in a matter of minutes.” The doctor looked at me and narrowed his eyes. “Have you been hurt, Miss McGuire?”
“What? No, I’m fine.” I leaned back away from him.
“Forgive me for saying this, but your eyes are red and you look as though you’ve had a nasty shock.” His astute gaze ran over me and I felt as though I was naked. It was purely clinical, as though he sensed that there was more than we’d told him.
“It’s been a long press junket. I’m tired.” I ran a hand over my wrinkled shirt. “I was too tired to even change before calling it a night.”
“Lots of water, rest, and good food should set you straight.” He smiled and I was reminded of an old-timey doctor from a Rockwell painting.
“Thank you, Doctor Bonnette.”
He closed up his bag and made his way out the door. I sat down next to Jake and touched his cheek.
“I don’t think you should stay, Maddie.” Tony stood next to the door. “It may not be wise to be here when he wakes up.”
“I’m not leaving him to wake up alone in a strange hotel room.” I glared at my longtime bodyguard. “I’m staying.”
“You should go back across the hall. I can come get you if he wakes up.”
“I love him,” I explained. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Tony nodded his head. “I’ll be right outside.”
After he walked out I padded across the hotel room and turned on the bathroom light before turning off the rest of the lights in the room. There was a soft tap on the door and my phone was slid underneath. I picked it up, noting my father’s name and immediately answered.
“Daddy,” I whispered.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” He was alone. There was no noise of people in the background or papers being shuffled.
“Yes.” I sniffled, hating that I was ready to fall apart just hearing my father’s voice. “Jake isn’t though.”
“I heard.” He sighed. “I don’t think he’s been okay for a while.”
“No.” I shook my head even though he couldn’t see me.
“He does a hell of a job hiding it. I almost didn’t catch what was happening.” I could picture my father staring off into the distance blaming himself for Jake. “I’d hoped that giving him something hands-on would give him a chance to heal on the inside.”
“He needs more than to be busy.” I looked over to where Jake was lying motionless. “Today was bad.”
“Did he hurt you?” My father’s voice sharpened.
“No, no.” I hurried to explain. “He had some sort of episode when he found out about his friend. He—he—”
“I already know.” There was pain in my father’s voice. I knew that the lives of each of the soldiers weighed heavily on him.
“Jake took the news hard.” I wiped at my eyes. “Real hard.”
“We’ll get him help, Maddie.” My father lowered his voice. “Do you love him?”
“Yes.” I sniffled. “Very much.”
“Then be patient. This isn’t going to be an easy road.”
“I know.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you made a good choice, Maddie. Jake is a fine young man that will take good care of you once he figures out how to take care of himself.”
“I’ll take care of both of us until then.”
“That’s my girl.” I could hear him breathing softly on the other end of the phone call. “I’m proud of you, Madeline. You’ve grown into a brilliant young woman.”
“Thank you, Daddy.”
“I’ll do my best to keep Virginia at bay, but there’s only so much I can do when it comes to her son.” This time his sigh was rueful. “She’s going to make a powerful President. It’s a shame she isn’t so great at being a parent.”
“Not everyone can be you,” I teased.
“Get some rest. I’ll be checking on you.”
“Love you.”
“Love you, too.” The phone clicked off and I looked down at it for a minute before moving again.
I turned it off and slipped it back out under the door, knowing that Tony would put it away for me. I slipped my pants off and climbed into the bed next to Jake, snuggling
as close as possible.
Hours could have passed while I lay there holding the man I loved. I tucked my body next to his, hoping that it would be a comfort when he finally woke to the reality of what had happened. My mind spun from Jake to Cyrus to Kyla and their families. The pain I felt in my heart couldn’t come close to what everyone else was experiencing. I thought of the pictures Kyla had texted me of little Korbin holding his tiny sister, Savannah, and the picture of Savannah tucked next to her smiling father in a hospital bed.
“I fucked up so bad.” I hadn’t realized Jake was awake until his deep voice rumbled through the air. “If I’d just managed to control the helicopter none of this would have happened.”
I didn’t say anything, instead I squeezed his fingers tightly with my own.
“I thought that if I could make things right now, fix what I’d broken, it would be okay. But I can’t fix this.” His voice broke. “I’m supposed to be able to handle this, to take charge and figure out what to do next, but I don’t know. I don’t know and I can’t fix it. I can’t fix it.”
“Shhh. No one needs you to fix anything right now, Jake.” His arm wrapped around me and he buried his face in my hair.
“I don’t know what to do.” His hot breath fanned across my face.
“Hold on to me, Jake.” I kissed his jaw and let him pull me tightly against his chest. “Hold on to me. That’s all you need to do right now.”
It wasn’t until his breathing steadied letting me know that he was sound asleep that my tears ran free. It wasn’t until I knew I wouldn’t hurt him with my own inner pain that I let go. I ached for the man I loved, for the family I’d grown close to. I ached for Cyrus and the pain he must’ve felt.
My heart cried for every person that came home from war bearing this horrible truth. There were no winners in war. Everyone on both sides was damaged in some way.
Chapter 22
Maddie
He hadn’t spoken to me since he woke up that morning. The silence was worse than his explosion the night before because it was as if he had disappeared inside himself.
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