Love...Under Different Skies
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EMAIL TO JAMIE NEWMAN
Thur 29 Mar 12:32 p.m.
Dear Jamie,
Thank you for the submission of your book Love… From Both Sides for our consideration.
It’s very unusual for my assistant to come rushing into my office first thing on a Monday morning, waving a manuscript and with a look of glee on her face. It’s even more unusual for me to spend the next three hours of a Monday morning doubled over in my chair laughing when I should be answering emails and taking calls from disgruntled agents.
Love… From Both Sides is crude, cringe inducing, and enough to put anyone off dating for life, but I haven’t had such a good time with a book in years. I frankly can’t believe your wife Laura let you get away with putting all that stuff in a manuscript and sending it to a publisher, but I’m very glad she did!
On the strength of what I’ve read, I’d like to offer you a publishing deal with us, which will include a sizable six-figure advance. You say in your covering letter that you have even more stories to tell about your relationship with Laura and the birth of your daughter, Poppy, which I would also be interested in buying for publication.
I very much hope that you’ll be interested in accepting our offer, Jamie. Please get in touch as soon as you can to discuss further.
Yours sincerely,
Penny Waters
Commissioning Editor
The Watermill Publishing Company
P.S. Unfortunately we won’t be able to make you a similar offer on your adventure novel Max Danger and the Boobatrons. While competently written, I feel that any story featuring seven explosions and twelve naked women in the first three chapters alone would appeal only to a very small cross section of the audience—the ones that dribble a lot and don’t get out much. Why not try the guys who published Fifty Shades of Grey? They like that kind of thing over there.
The End
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Nick Spalding is the best-selling author of five novels and two memoirs: Life… With No Breaks and Life… On a High. Nick worked in media and marketing for most of his life before turning his energy toward his genre-spanning writing. He lives in the south of England with his fiancée.