Never Had a Dream Come True

by Jennifer Wenn

  All the feelings she had felt under his capable hands died, and without forewarning she let go of his neck and pressed her hands between them, pushing him hard in the chest and forcing him to stumble backwards.

  “Are you out of your mind?” she hissed as he looked back at her with surprise written all over his handsome face. “Have you completely lost your dignity?”

  “Penny…”

  “Fondling me, your parents’ guest, in your own home? What are you thinking?”

  He took a step forward again but stopped as she put out a hand. “Don’t.”

  “Why not?”

  She scoffed at him, too upset over his outrageously selfish behavior. “I’m a family friend you have known for ages. What on earth has possessed you to behave like this?”

  Something flickered through his eyes, and if she hadn’t known for a fact that he had no conscience, she would have recognized it as embarrassment. But this was Lord Richard Darling, the most infamous libertine of his time. Why would he be embarrassed over fondling a young woman?

  She gave him a last lingering look as she opened her door and put all the contempt she could muster into it. “Could you have been more disrespectful against your parents? I’m under their guardianship, and yet you still harass me. This is too much, even for you.”

  “Even for me.” His voice sounded hollow as he echoed her words, and for a moment she hesitated. She wasn’t usually this crude toward others, and although he had handled her in a most disrespectful manner she couldn’t help feeling she had overreacted a bit.

  But as she opened her mouth to apologize, he gave her a small nod and turned to walk stiffly down the hall, disappearing into the shadows.

  She stared into the darkness, not knowing what to do or what to think. Had she behaved wrongly?

  No, she hadn’t—he had. But why did she feel this exhausted and uncomfortable?

  Giving a small sigh, she walked into her bedroom and locked the door tightly behind her, even though she knew without a doubt he wouldn’t follow her.

  Not again. Not after what she had said.

  As she moved around her bedroom packing her few belongings, she replayed the encounter in the hallway over and over again in her head.

  What had he thought of her harsh words?

  If it had been any other man, she would have been certain of his devastation. But not Rake. He was the kind of man who laughed in the face of rejections, who shrugged insults off without being affected at all.

  She sighed again as she threw the last of her dresses into the bag. She was too tired to think about this. As a matter of fact she didn’t want to think about it at all.

  Tomorrow Thomas Bedford was going to visit her at her parents’ house, and right now it was all she wanted to think about. She couldn’t stop a small smile of contentment as she thought of her suitor. He was a good man; the duchess was right about that. She knew exactly what to expect from him, and it felt strangely good and uplifting to do so.

  Rake, the selfish snake, was as unreadable as a stone. He never gave away his emotions.

  But Thomas did.

  When he looked into her eyes, his lovely brown eyes were warm and caring. When she talked about a book she had read, he looked at her with genuine interest and asked her questions and invited her to share her insight.

  Rake made her shiver, but Thomas made her bloom.

  She spent the night tossing and turning in her bed, and as the dawn broke through she gave up the thought of getting some sleep. Instead, she quickly penned a note to her hosts, thanking them for their hospitality, and then one to Francesca, enlightening her about her whereabouts, before she quietly left Chester Park behind her.

  The winding road which connected the castle with Harveyfield was breathtakingly beautiful in the early morning hours. A lazy fog had spread its dew on everything it passed: flowers, trees, and bushes. Now the landscape glistened in the sun.

  The beauty of nature eased her mind, and when she walked through the small iron gate that led to Harveyfield she felt serene and at ease. Inside, the servants scurried around, desperately cleaning any speck of dust they could find before Lord and Lady Nester arrived.

  When Penny walked into her own modest bedroom, she was surprised at the contentment she felt, seeing all her things. It wasn’t that she didn’t feel at home at Chester Park, but this was her room. Every little thing in this room belonged to her and told a spectator all about who she was.

  Books lay on every flat space, and small paintings she had made hung everywhere on the walls. The flowers she had collected and dried lay on the tray where she had put them the last time she was here, and she could still smell their delicate scent.

  The servants hadn’t cared for her room these months she had been away. She could tell by the cloud of dust that rose from her bed when she sat down on it.

  Coughing, she opened a window, and to her surprise the family carriage had just stopped in front of the house, and her parents tumbled out from it, followed by her yawning sister. Penny ran down the stairs to greet them.

  “Penny, dear child, you are home.” Lady Nester opened her arms and Penny walked into her soft, warm embrace. Her mother put a hand against her cheek and looked upon her with tired eyes. “How are you, my dear? How has your time at Chester Park been?”

  “Very good, indeed. The duke and the duchess made sure I had a wonderful stay while you were away.”

  “I do hope you have behaved and not caused me any embarrassment.” Lord Nester peeked at her over the pile of letters he was scanning through.

  “I have a suitor.” Penny squealed to her mother, ignoring her father’s remark.

  “Oh, so we heard!” Lady Nester clapped her hands together in sheer delight. “Come, my dear, you must tell me everything about it. I was so pleased when I received the duchess’s letter saying Mr. Bedford wanted to court you.”

  “Couldn’t even get a proper proposal out of him, could you?” her father snorted as he followed them into the salon and sat down in his newly dusted chair. “Your sister would have secured one already, if this had been her suitor.”

  Charmaine sat down beside Penny on the sofa and ignored their father’s usual rudeness. “I think it is good that he didn’t propose to you. Now you two have all the time in the world to get to know each other, to make sure it will be the right choice.”

  “Charmaine would have had a proposal already,” Lord Nester repeated stubbornly, not caring about how he walked all over his younger daughter’s feelings.

  “No I would not have,” Charmaine replied icily to their father. “Thomas Bedford has never been interested in me, and that is one reason why I like him even better for Penny.”

  The last part came with a wink toward her sister, and Penny knew what she meant. All the men Charmaine met stumbled all over their feet to get closer to her, and many of them stuttered out a proposal of marriage even before being properly introduced.

  Charmaine loathed them for it.

  Not one of them cared about her. They only wanted her divine beauty at their arm, to show off. But the few who took a good look at her and then dismissed her, those she liked immensely. Rake had been one, and now Penny was told Thomas was another.

  It pleased her more than she could say.

  Her father, on the other hand, wasn’t as pleased. “What? Has Thomas Bedford never proposed to you? We have known him all his life, and he should have asked for your hand at least a couple of times by now.”

  “But he hasn’t, which is good for Penny, isn’t it?”

  Lord Nester didn’t care about answering his daughter’s question. Instead, he stood up and pulled the cord to ring for a servant. “I want you”—he pointed at Charmaine—“to go immediately and get changed into your very best day dress. I’ll be damned if I can’t get a proposal out of the man before dinner.”

  “Papa!”

  The outrageousness of Lord Nester’s words was unbelievable, even for the three ladies who were used to his rudeness.<
br />
  “What?” His frown deepened at the threesome staring at him with disbelief.

  “Jeremiah, don’t you think it is Penny who should change into something more suitable, as it is she whom Mr. Bedford is coming to visit? Charmaine is not the one he is interested in.”

  Lord Nester threw out his hands in despair over such ignorance from his wife. “But he should be. Penny is nothing next to her sister. Nothing. If there is going to be a proposal today, it shall be Mr. Bedford asking for Charmaine’s hand, not Penny’s.”

  “But he is Penny’s suitor. Why should Charmaine try to take her own sister’s suitor away from her? The thought is ridiculous.”

  Lord Nester gave his wife a look which made his wife pale. Without another word she sat down again, just as the door opened and a maid popped her head inside.

  “Yes?”

  “Nothing.” Lord Nester waved the maid away before sitting down in his chair and returning to his pile of letters.

  Penny didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  This was her own father dismissing her as a possible wife and wanting his other daughter to seduce her suitor away from her. He had done and said many stupid things over the years, but this was a winner in every category.

  It hurt that he cared so little for her, but she wasn’t surprised. A long time ago she had given up on his ever feeling any warmth toward her.

  Charmaine gave Penny’s hand a squeeze, and her smile was a mixture of embarrassment and compassion. Penny smiled back and rolled her eyes so Charmaine would know she didn’t take it too hard. Her sister took a deep breath before regaining her composure, looking just as bored and uncaring as ever.

  “The duchess wrote that he was coming for a visit this afternoon.” Lady Nester gave her daughters a sorrowful smile. “It will be so nice to meet your young man, Penny. I’m sorry we don’t have time to get you some new dresses, now that you are officially being courted, but we will take care of it as soon as possible. You will have to have new dresses anyway, as you are about to make your debut next Season.”

  “Penny will not get any new dresses.” Lord Nester’s tone held as little warmth as his words. “Especially not if she has already caught a man who is interested in taking her off my hands. That would be money thrown into the Thames. No, our small funds will again go to new dresses for Charmaine. She is the incomparable queen of the ton, and as such she must be correctly clad.”

  “Lord Nester!”

  Again the threesome stared at him, and again he didn’t care about their feelings.

  “Penny will not get any new dresses, and that is my final word.”

  “But Father, I don’t need any more dresses.” Charmaine tried to rescue the situation. “We should better spend that money on Penny, who never has had any dresses made up just for her. It is not fair to have her wear my old dresses for her debutante Season.”

  “The decision is mine to make, and this is final.”

  Lady Nester gave her youngest daughter an apologetic shrug, and Penny swallowed the lump in her throat.

  “It’s all right, Mother. Charmaine’s dresses will do just fine. We are not the same height, but with a few small changes they will fit me just perfectly.”

  “But they are not your colors…”

  “If it looks good on Charmaine, it will do for Penny. All these decisions wear me out. I’m going to my study, where I can be alone.”

  And without another word Lord Nester left the three ladies and pursued his hunt for solitude.

  Charmaine stood up as soon as the door closed behind his back and turned toward Lady Nester.

  “Really, Mother? You won’t do anything about this? He’s taking everything from Penny and handing it to me, and I don’t even want it. I refuse! Next year is Penny’s debutante Season, and she is the one who should be clad in clothes made especially for her. With her lovely violet eyes and honey-colored hair, she should wear much darker colors than I, with my blond hair and blue eyes.”

  Lady Nester shook her head sadly. “Dear child, you know there is nothing I can do about it. It is his decision, just as he said. I’m so sorry.”

  The last words were directed to Penny, who gave her mother a wobbly smile.

  It didn’t matter. Not really. Thomas Bedford liked her as she was, clad in Charmaine’s old clothes, and there was no one else she wanted to overwhelm by her sheer beauty.

  A vision of Rake popped into her head, but she pushed it aside. Not anymore. Rake was done in her life. From now on he would be what he always had been to her, her best friend’s uncle.

  Charmaine sighed, defeated. She too knew that if Lord Nester’s mind was set there was not much that could be done about it. With one last sad look toward Penny, she left the salon, and they could hear her running up the stairs to her room.

  As always, Lady Nester immediately followed, as if Charmaine wouldn’t last a minute without her mother by her side.

  Alone in the salon, Penny looked down on her hands, and tears dropped into her palms. She should be used to this by now, but somehow her father always seemed to find a new way to make her feel unwanted and unloved.

  All she’d ever wanted was to be just that, wanted. But neither her mother nor her father had ever given her that. No, they always chose Charmaine, and that hurt more than she would ever let anyone know.

  The more she thought about it, the more Mr. Bedford became her savior. Maybe he was the one who was intended to end her loneliness and finally make her feel wanted.

  Maybe he was her dream about to come true.

  Chapter Five

  The rest of the morning Penny spent alone in her room, listening to her parents fussing over Charmaine in the room next to hers. Not once did anyone come to her room to ask if she needed help or company.

  When a maid knocked on her door and announced the arrival of Mr. Thomas Bedford, Penny had been ready for hours. Quietly she walked downstairs to find her beau in the salon with her parents and a magnificent-looking Charmaine.

  Penny ignored her family and instead gave her suitor her most genuine smile when he stood to greet her, and the smile he returned told her he was as unaffected by Charmaine as ever.

  To him it was Penny who mattered, and that thought was unbelievably soothing.

  She heard her sister’s relieved breath and knew Charmaine had been uncomfortable with the situation too. It was—as ever—the misdirected scheme of their father, who couldn’t get over the fact that he had sired such an exquisite daughter.

  “Lady Penelope, how nice to meet you again.” Mr. Bedford took Penny’s hands with warmth, and she was delighted with his direct behavior even though she could hear her father snicker. Mr. Bedford led her to the sofa where he had been sitting and politely made sure she sat comfortably before he joined her.

  “Mr. Bedford has just told us about the new books he is adding to his library,” Lady Nester said politely, and Penny squealed with delight.

  “Oh, please do tell me.”

  Mr. Bedford, who quite obviously liked Penny’s excitement, gave her a kind smile, and his lovely brown eyes warmed her like a nice cup of hot chocolate. “It’s just a collection of journals about gardens that I want to visit next spring. There is nothing better than to read everything you can find about a place before you visit it.”

  “It sounds marvelous. I too have read about the most wonderful places, and I would love to go to some—or all—of them one day.”

  Mr. Bedford gave her a hopeful smile, full of promises. “Who knows, maybe one day we can go together?”

  Penny blushed prettily. His forwardness was unusual but refreshing. It was nice to talk with someone who said what was on his mind.

  She could feel more and more that this was the right path for her. Thomas Bedford was everything she needed. So what if he didn’t make her shiver with delight? She much preferred the contentment she felt with him at her side.

  “Is that a proposal?” Lord Nester interfered in the tender moment.

  Mr. Bedfo
rd drew back slightly. “No, my lord, I have promised Her Grace that I won’t be proposing to Lady Penelope until next year, after her first Season in London. And I am a man who keeps his promises.”

  Lord Nester sighed, defeated, recognizing the stubbornness in the younger man’s voice. Penny was grateful he didn’t persist; it had been too embarrassing for her that her father so obviously wanted to get rid of her as soon as possible. Or, rather, he wanted to get rid of the cost of her.

  Penny was not money well spent, in her father’s eyes.

  To save the situation, Lady Nester dragged Mr. Bedford into gossiping about their neighbors, and Penny spent the time watching her maybe-future husband, taking in every little detail of him.

  He was a tall and lean man, more slender than muscular, and yet there was a distinct air of strength surrounding him. His hair was light brown, almost golden, and his eyes brown and intelligent. He was a handsome and well-kept man even though his clothes were not of latest fashion.

  The duke had told her Mr. Bedford was a man with a good yearly income, which he preferred to spend on his home and the people who helped him maintain it rather than spending it all on his own person. She liked the thought of a man who prioritized the people he was responsible for.

  As the visit progressed, she noticed new things about him, like how he touched the side of his forehead when he thought hard on something, and how he sent her small smiles when he thought no one noticed.

  Charmaine did—of course—and was mouthing marry him or I will every time she thought he didn’t notice. He—of course—did notice but hid his amusement politely and didn’t mention Charmaine’s indiscreet behavior.

  She liked the careful way he held the fragile tea cup in his large hands and how he politely nodded with interest when Lady Nester told him something or other that he must have found disgustingly tedious.

  He was a man in full control of himself, and he didn’t let the surroundings affect him. It was obvious he didn’t care for her father—not many did—but he continued to be polite, even though her father now and then let his jovial façade slip and forgot to hide his insults.