“Ah!” he finally exclaimed, and held up a thin white fabric which almost seemed fluffy. “This will be perfect.”
Penny frowned at the frilly fabric. “Really? For what? Not a shepherdess, I presume?”
He laughed at her. “Of course not. You are not a simple shepherdess, my love, you are my angel. And as such you will be clad at the upcoming masquerade.”
“An angel?” She stared at him, astonished over his choice of costume.
“Yes, my love. An angel. It will be perfect. Boring Saint Thomas can still go as a sheep if he likes, or he can dress up as the saint we all think him.”
“He will not go as a sheep.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. It would have meant no need for a costume at all, and I think he would have appreciated that.”
The seamstresses giggled as they rushed over and saved the delicate fluff from Rake’s large hands. The next hour was later only a blur in Penny’s memory, as orders and ideas flew around her like bees around a jar of honey.
Without once asking for her opinion, Rake decided how the dress should be made, and after measuring Penny, Mrs. Frazer and her girls said they would come to Chester Park with the almost-finished dress in a week’s time for the final fitting.
“Mother plans to hold the ball in about a month, so your dress will be ready in good time,” Rake said as they walked down the street again toward the inn, closely followed by Mina. “I must admit I feel quite satisfied with the result. You will look divine.”
“I hope so,” she agreed, a bit uncertain. “It was a lovely fabric, and Mrs. Frazer seems quite competent.”
“You will be perfect.” Rake chuckled. “Beautiful enough to be awe-inspiring, but not a knockout as was mother’s wish.”
“Thank you for stopping her. I saw this vision of me walking in dressed like a rosebush just to satisfy her need to shock her guests.”
He laughed loudly at her joke. “That would have done it, I’m sure. Please do tell me if you change your mind and choose to honor my mother’s wishes, because I wouldn’t want to miss you dressed as a rose.”
“Bush,” she clarified with a feigned haughty voice. “A rosebush, if you please.”
“Ah.”
He grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly before placing it in the crook of his arm, and she felt an overwhelming urge to press herself closer to his side and lean her head against his arm. It was amazing how easily he made her feel her place was here at his side. She belonged there with her hand on his arm. She only wished he would realize it too, before it was too late.
“There you are. Finally.”
Jamie didn’t look pleased with life when they came up to him outside the inn. He stared sourly at them from under his hat and ushered them, without proper greeting, through the door, almost knocking poor Mina to the ground.
“Bloody hell, Jamie, what’s your problem?” Rake said as he was pushed down into a chair that, fortunately, happened to be empty.
“Nothing. I just want my tea. You!” He waved to Mina and gave her one of the most condescending looks Penny had ever seen. “You can go and make sure there will be some tea and sandwiches brought here as soon as possible.”
Mina’s eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything, simply shaking her head in Penny’s direction before doing as asked.
“I like that girl,” Rake mused as he watched the maid scurry away between the tables.
Without warning Jamie stood and reached across the table to grab Rake by his cravat. “Don’t you ever, ever touch that girl. She’s off limits.”
If she hadn’t been so shocked over Jamie’s brutish behavior, Penny would have laughed out loud over the ridiculous expression of astonishment gracing Rake’s handsome face. But the obvious anger which seemed to ooze out through every pore in Jamie’s body kept her serious.
“Bloody hell, brother, what’s your problem?” Rake grunted as he ripped his once perfectly folded cravat out of his twin’s hands. Jamie took a confused breath and sat down again.
“Oh, God, Rake, I’m sorry. I-I just haven’t been myself lately, and I-I wasn’t…”
“Thinking?”
Jamie sighed. “No. I just…”
”Thought I was going to make love to the girl here on the table?”
“No!”
Rake arched an eyebrow, and the air went out of Jamie.
“No. Of course not. It’s just that she… She’s a bit special, and I just want…need…to protect her.”
“From me?”
Jamie nodded, looking more ashamed than Penny had ever seen him before, and she decided to cut in, to stop Rake from overhauling his poor brother in public.
“I would too,” she said with feigned compassion, patting Jamie’s hand. “We all know what Rake’s like.”
Jamie looked up at her and blinked once before he caught her game. Then his eyes started to twinkle. “Yes, we sure do.”
“But she’s safe now. I don’t think even Rake will have the guts to try to seduce Mina now, after having his best cravat destroyed.”
“I don’t know,” Rake mused while rubbing his cheek. “She’s quite pretty. She might be worth losing a brother. I have so many, and I don’t think I would notice if one was gone.”
Jamie’s laugh seemed a bit forced, but Mina, who had just returned, looked relieved as she sank down on a chair behind Penny. Minutes later, the servants of the inn brought a large tray with tea and delicious-looking sandwiches.
Afterwards, they walked out into the sunlight again, and Rake pointed with his cane toward his phaeton. “Come on, my love, it’s time to go back to Chester Park before Mother sends out a search party.”
“She can go with us in my carriage,” Jamie offered kindly, but Rake shook his head.
“She’s with me.”
And without another word he grabbed Penny by the waist and threw her in a most unladylike fashion onto the high seat of the shiny carriage and jumped up after her. Before Jamie and Mina had a chance to get inside their carriage, the phaeton raced down the main street and soon left Sandhurst behind in a cloud of dust.
They drove fast for a while, until they were alone in the middle of the forest, where he decreased the speed until the carriage stopped completely. The sunbeams working their way through the leaves of the trees made his dark hair glisten as he removed his hat before turning to Penny with a lustful gleam in his smoky eyes.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” she started, but to no avail. With a soft chuckle, he put his hands against her cheeks and forced her mouth closer to his so he could claim her soft lips.
The kiss was different from all their earlier kisses, warm and tender, and Penny was lost. All thoughts of Thomas blew away, and all that was left in the world was only Rake.
Always Rake.
She put her arms around his neck and pressed her body closer to his, and he moaned into her mouth with pleasure. One of his hands moved downwards and found the hem of her skirt and the leg it hid. Slowly his fingers travelled up along the soft skin of her calf, to her knee and then her thigh, until she whimpered with an unknown need for something more.
“You taste so good,” he whispered in her ear as he moved his lips to nibble on her earlobe. “I don’t want to stop before I have tasted all of you.”
She mumbled something inaudible in full agreement; she didn’t want him to stop either. But neither of them could ignore the unmistakable sound of wheels coming closer: the carriage with Jamie and their chaperone Mina in it.
Rake draw back with a painful sigh. “That brother of mine. His timing is the worst.”
“You knew he was coming.”
“I know. I just hoped he would do the honorable thing and try to drive as slowly as possible.”
Penny giggled as she straightened her hair. “The honorable thing would have been forcing me into the carriage with him and Mina.”
“Then I guess I have to be thankful he’s not so honorable after all.” Rake grinned, and she found herself staring at him wi
th awe at how handsome he was when he let his guard down. He lost his smile as he met her eyes most seriously.
“I wish you would change your mind about marrying Thomas Bedford before it’s too late.” His smooth voice vibrated with restrained emotions. “You know I want you more than anything in the whole world, and I know without doubt that you feel the same way for me. Why continue with this farce? Why not end it now, before mother announces the engagement to the whole world?”
She had longed for them to have this conversation, but now as he finally brought up the subject he still didn’t mention love, and he still didn’t mention marrying her himself.
“Give me a reason,” she whispered, her voice full of the love she couldn’t hide. He put his hand against her cheek just as Thomas had done earlier and gave her an odd, sad smile.
“What more reason do you need? I haven’t got more than myself to offer, but I hoped it would be enough for you.”
“I need more,” she whispered and tears started to fill her eyes.
“You love me.”
She nodded. “Forever.”
“So let him go.”
“I need to belong to someone.”
“You already belong to someone, you belong with me. Your life is with me.”
She wiped away the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Then give me a reason to throw away the only future I have. Give me a reason to be with you.”
He let go of her and drew back slightly, his jaw clenched hard. “I don’t know how to live without you. What more reason do you need?”
As the other carriage pulled to a stop beside them, Penny shook her head sadly. “More.”
“Rake, you bastard. Don’t you ever try such a prank again. Mother trusted me to keep your hands off Penny, and the first thing you do is get a little…”
Jamie’s voice trailed off as he noticed the dark-faced Rake and the teary-eyed Penny. It was obvious something was going on here, and it had nothing to do with saving Penny’s virginity and good name.
“Why don’t we take the lead home,” Jamie suggested softly, and when Rake nodded solemnly, he drove off with a last lingering look at his brother’s stern face.
As the phaeton started to move, Rake chuckled softly and Penny turned toward him, surprised at his sudden humor.
“Look at us. This is such a lovely day, and we’re here together alone—or almost, if you don’t consider my obnoxious brother in front of us—but instead of happy faces you would think doomsday is awaiting us around the corner.”
“Maybe it feels like doomsday is closing in.”
“Well, then I guess it’s up to you to change the course you are traveling. It’s easy. You just have to learn to stand on your own two feet instead of insisting on hiding behind someone else.”
“I told you, I don’t hide behind anyone, not Charmaine and not Fanny.”
“And yet here you are, desperately trying to hide behind Bedford.”
The frustration she had carried inside her for so long grew even larger, and before she could stop herself she had clenched her fist and struck him on the arm. Hard.
“Ouch!”
“Oh, my.”
He stared at her as if she had completely lost her mind. “You hit me!”
“It felt so good.” Her evident astonishment matched his.
“You…Hit…Me…”
She looked at him with dazed eyes. “I know. I did, didn’t I? And it was wonderful. Thank you.”
He frowned at her. “You’re welcome. I think. Don’t do it again, though.”
She put her hand in front of her mouth to stifle the laughter which threatened to erupt. “Oh, I can’t promise you that. It felt too good.”
“Humpf,” he said, pretending to be eternally humiliated, but he couldn’t hide the telling twinkle in his eyes.
“You are such a snake,” she laughed, and he chuckled with her.
“And you, my love, are a minx.”
“I thought I was a siren.”
“That too.”
Passing Harveyfield, Penny lost her mirth as she glanced at the house where she had grown up. It looked unwelcoming and cold, as if it too had thrown her out of its life.
“Do you want to stop?”
“No.” She shook her head slowly. “I would rather return to Chester Park, if you would be so kind.”
“What happened, Penny?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
He took her chin and forced her to look into his dark eyes filled with what she would have thought was love and understanding if she hadn’t known better. “Please enlighten me. I can’t see you suffer like this without knowing why.”
“Rake. Don’t.”
He let go of her with a harsh grunt. “All right, it’s your choice to not tell anyone. I guess the only good thing is you haven’t told Boring Saint Thomas, either.”
When she didn’t answer, he stared at her in disbelief of the truth which was written all over her guilt-stricken face.
“You have told Thomas Bedford what happened to you that night?”
“Yes.”
“Why him?” he whispered as his voice cracked. “Why not me?”
“I couldn’t accept his marriage proposal without telling him the truth about me, the full truth.”
Rake didn’t answer, and she was grateful for the respite. She knew she had hurt him more than he deserved when she refused to tell him about the night she arrived drenched and bruised. But she couldn’t stand to see his respect and warm feelings turn ice cold.
She could live with Thomas loathing her, but she would die if she knew Rake despised her even the tiniest bit.
As they stopped in front of Chester Park’s magnificent entrance, he jumped to the ground and without another word stood still and stared at her angrily, slowly clenching and unclenching his fists, before he turned and walked away with an angry stride.
“Whatever it is, he will get over it.”
Penny looked down at Jamie, who gave her a reassuring nod. She shook her head sadly.
“Not until it’s too late, I’m afraid.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded without answering, and he sighed deeply.
“I’m sad to hear it. After seeing you two today, I hoped you finally had come to the conclusion you are meant to be together.”
“We did, but unfortunately, as ever, without any lasting ties. I can’t live like that, so I don’t have many choices left.”
“It saddens me to hear this, Penny. You two belong together.”
She watched Rake disappear around the corner of the castle and unconsciously wiped a tear from her cheek.
“I know,” she whispered. “I know.”
Chapter Fifteen
The grand ballroom of Chester Park glistened in the flickering light of thousands of candles as Penny slowly descended the curved stairs.
The room was filled to the brim with people dressed in the most fantastic creations. There were soldiers from different times, Romans and Greeks, and—she noticed with a wry smile—quite a lot of shepherdesses.
She herself felt more beautiful than ever, but it was all because of the elegant angel dress Rake had ordered for her. The thin white fabric floated around her and enhanced the gracefulness of every step she took.
The Chester Park carpenter had been most helpful and had created a fragile cast made of bendy willow branches. Then Mina had with deft fingers fastened hundreds of white chicken feathers and now Penny proudly could boast having the most beautiful angel’s wings on her back, completing the costume.
Her hair hung thick down her back, diamonds fastened all over the wavy mass, glistening in the candle light as she moved. Her face was covered in a beautiful white mask which also was decorated with white chicken feathers.
All in all—she looked marvelous.
Had everything been all right between her and Rake, she would have felt marvelous, too. But ever since the trip to the seamstress he had avoided her as much as possib
le. When they did meet, he hardly said a word to her, just nodded curtly in greeting and then ignored her.
So his feelings were hurt. It was understandable, she supposed. She had opened her heart to Thomas and not to him. But he had to get over it—the sooner the better—because in a few hours’ time the duchess would announce the engagement between Penny and Thomas, and then there was no way back.
When it was official, it would be final for her, even though the marriage itself would not take place until Christmas. To repay Thomas’s kind heart for his gentle acceptance of her not-too-clean background, she knew she had to show him that much respect.
But if Rake would come to his senses before the announcement was made… Well, then she wouldn’t have any problems breaking an engagement nobody knew about.
As she moved through the crowd, she tried to spot Rake’s tall frame, but as far as she could tell he was nowhere to be found.
The duchess wasn’t so hard to find though, dressed in a stunning pink creation she swore was meant to be a sunset. Penny had a feeling the duchess didn’t care what she was meant to represent, as long as she wore that particular dress.
Behind the duchess stood a group of men in normal evening clothes and hidden only by simple black masks, and Penny bit back a smile as she recognized Hannibal and his sons.
“We don’t like masquerades,” Jamie grunted, and she nodded compassionately.
“I can see that.”
The duke took a step closer to her, after making sure his duchess wasn’t close enough to overhear. “Can you please ask my wife to let us leave?”
Penny looked at the duchess, who was having the time of her life, and shook her head. “I don’t dare. She’s having so much fun she’d probably kill anyone who tries to destroy it for her.”
“We know,” the men sighed unanimously behind her as she continued through the crowd.
When she found Thomas, she couldn’t stifle an appreciative laugh as he, bless his wonderful humor, was dressed as a saint and so turned the joke back on the backstabbers.
“An angel and a saint.” He let his admiring eyes take in her outfit. “What a pair we make. Couldn’t be a better fit, could it?”
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