She stood frozen, looking into the room as her eyes took in the emptiness. His clothes were gone, his toiletries had disappeared, the bed was made, and the room was tidy. Everything of Tanner’s was missing.
Her hands began to shake as she walked into the room and sank down on the bed. She took a deep breath, trying to still the trembling that rocked through her. A niggling sense of doubt told her to run and check the house, the barn, everywhere he might have gone to, but somehow she knew instinctively that he’d left.
Probably not long after he’d carried her back to her room, he’d stolen away in the night.
A tear ran down her face, then another one, until they were streaming down her cheeks. She sat on the bed remembering the night before, the feel of him, the sharing of their tainted pasts. Last night had been a joining of their minds and bodies, and yet the morning light found him gone. Her heart felt as if it would burst from the pain.
Why would he leave after everything they’d shared? Why would he go? She didn’t understand. She put her face in her hands and cried. Once again she was alone.
For several minutes she let the tears flow down her cheeks, releasing the heartbreak that threatened to overwhelm her. Everything had changed in the space of twenty-four hours. Still, she could not marry Tucker, but now she had no future, no place to go.
This time she’d made the worst mistake of her life. She’d fallen in love with a man who was wanted by the law, who had been missing to his family for years. This time she’d chosen a man who could never return her love, never marry her and give her the home and family she so desperately wanted.
She’d made some lousy decisions in her life, and suddenly, for the first time, she decided to take control of her destiny. Yes, she’d come west looking for a husband but she was no longer going to depend on a man for her future. She was going to make it on her own. She had a little money from the sale of her jewels in San Antonio. She would take that and find her own way in the world and without the aid of a husband or a father.
The sound of the door pushing open startled her. She glanced up, only to find Travis standing in the door. He didn’t appear surprised to find her in Tanner’s room.
“Where’s Tanner?” he questioned.
She sniffed and wiped the tears with the back of her hand. “He’s gone.”
“Gone? Where?”
“I don’t know. But his things are missing, and I haven’t seen him,” she said, sobbing.
Travis cursed and walked through the room in shock. He glanced at Beth, suspicion darkening his eyes. “Are you all right?”
“Yes. What’s wrong? Why are you looking for him?” Beth asked, sniffing.
“Rose is sick, and I wanted to see if he would go into town and get the doctor.”
“What’s wrong? Is she going to be okay?” Beth asked. “If it’s what I think, she’ll be fine in about seven months,” he said with a smile.
“Oh, my God, how exciting,” Beth said, trying to ignore her tattered feelings for just a moment. Being part of this family felt so natural, so right, yet she had to give it up.
“Don’t say anything just yet. We don’t want to tell Mother until we’re sure. She will be so disappointed if it’s something else.”
“Congratulations! I’m so happy for you both.” Beth smiled up at him through her tears. “Travis, I need to speak with Tucker this morning, and then I’ll need a ride into town. We can contact the doctor and ask him to come out to see you and Rose.”
“Thanks. Uh, I think I know what you’re going to say to Tucker, and Beth, I’m sorry for what’s happened.”
“Thanks, Travis.” She shrugged, trying hard not to start crying again. “I better go find him so that we can get started.”
***
Tucker was sitting downstairs in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee, when Travis and Beth came down the stairs together. He had stayed the night before and was going back to town this morning. One glance at the look on their faces and he knew something was wrong.
“Good morning,” he said, hoping to receive some kind of reaction that would alert him.
They both glanced at him, and then Travis went to the cupboard and took out two mugs. He walked to the stove and poured them each a cup of coffee, then handed Beth her cup.
“Everyone is up early this morning,” Tucker said trying to ease the tension he could feel permeating the room.
“Tanner’s gone,” Travis announced.
“What?” Tucker said. “When did he leave?”
“Early this morning,” Beth said.
Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked as though she’d been crying.
“Is he coming back?” Tucker asked.
“No one knows,” Travis said. “He left without telling anyone good-bye.”
“Well, hell, I didn’t think he would do this to us a second time,” Tucker said, clearly angry. “Have you told Mother?”
“Not yet. Rose is feeling poorly, and I was going to see if, when you went into town, you’d have the doctor come out.”
“What’s wrong with Rose?”
“Well . . .” Travis grinned. “Don’t say anything to Mother, but I think we’re about to make you an uncle.”
Tucker smiled and reached over, clasping his brother’s hand. “Congratulations. Now maybe Mother will get off my back for a while.”
Tucker quickly glanced over at Beth, suddenly aware of what he had just said.
She glanced at him, a rueful expression on her face. Travis suddenly headed for the door. “I better get back to Rose; she’s having a rough morning.”
He hurried out the door, and they heard his boots clumping up the stairs to the room he shared with Rose.
Beth sat staring out the window, her coffee cup in her hand. “Tucker, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Tucker stared at the woman, her voice was uneven, and she kept blinking her eyes as if she were trying to hold back tears.
She turned to face him and sipped from her coffee. “I know that you and I had agreed I would come to Texas and if we got along, we’d get married. But I can’t marry you, Tucker.”
He stared at her and sighed relief filling him like a breath of fresh air. He smiled. “I know.”
“You’re a nice man. You wrote beautiful letters, and at the time I thought it could work out. But now it just doesn’t feel right.”
It was all he could do to act saddened when all he felt was relief. “I understand. But what will you do?”
“I don’t know yet, but I can’t stay here.”
“Stay here until you know what you want to do, where you want to go.”
“I can’t stay. Look, I never meant to hurt you. But it was almost as if after we met, we didn’t belong together. The letters that you wrote didn’t seem to fit you.”
Tucker took a deep breath. He had to tell Beth or feel guilty the rest of his life regarding her.
“I didn’t write those letters,” he said watching her eyes widen in surprise.
She swallowed then looked at him, astounded.
“What do you mean, you didn’t write them? Who did?”
Tucker grimaced, afraid of Beth’s reaction when she learned the truth. “At the time, Mother didn’t think that Rose and Travis would ever get together. So she started trying to find someone for me. Mother wrote the letters.”
“What? Your mother wrote to me and signed your name?” she said, her voice rising. “I left my home, sold all my possessions, and traveled all this way because of your mother’s letters?”
He didn’t know what to say. “She wants her sons married. And she’ll do whatever it takes to get them hitched.”
“How could she lie to me like that? I came here because of what was in those letters.” Her voice rose, and her pale face was suddenly flushed.
“Sometimes Mother doesn’t think things through. She doesn’t mean to hurt people, it’s just that her children are the most important people in her life, and she’d do just about anything to
see them happy.” He rushed his words, trying to quell the anger he could see rapidly filling Beth’s face. “To her way of thinking, nothing could be better for you than marrying one of her sons.”
“But what about my feelings? I traveled here to marry a man who I thought wanted me.” Her eyes suddenly lit up. “You didn’t want to marry me, did you? That’s why you’ve been so distant. I didn’t understand why you seemed so detached, so unapproachable. I couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to kiss me. Now I do. You didn’t want to marry me!”
Tucker suddenly felt ashamed, though he knew he hadn’t meant to be a part of this fiasco. “I ... I didn’t want to hurt you, Beth. You’re nice, but I’m just not the marrying kind. We just weren’t right for one another.”
“You’re so right. We were never meant for one another, and I would have known that if you had written the letters.”
She stood up, her hands gripping the back of the chair. “I sold everything in the house that I could. I left everyone I knew behind to come out west and start again. Now I have nothing. I would have been better off if I’d stayed in Georgia.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, but his apology seemed weak compared to the huge injustice that had been done to Beth. “What are you going to do?”
“Just take me into town. I can’t stay here any longer,” she said, her voice choking.
Tucker watched as she left the room, her skirts swishing as she walked out the door.
She was right. They had done Beth a terrible disservice.
Chapter Seventeen
Hot tears pricked Beth’s eyelids as she ran up the stairs. She had to get away before she broke down completely in front of Tucker. Eugenia had sent the letters that were so warm and touching. She’d written anecdotes about the family and the ranch that made Beth think this was where she belonged, that here, in this family, she could find happiness once again and that the man who would be her husband would welcome her with open arms. Instead, the man she was to marry didn’t even want her.
Everything had been a lie. Eugenia had purposefully tricked Beth into coming to Texas to marry her unwilling son, though Tucker didn’t want to marry. No wonder he’d seemed so cold.
But even worse, she’d fallen in love with Tanner, not Tucker, and he didn’t want her, either.
Beth had hoped for a new start in life, only to find out that even here she wasn’t wanted. There was no place in this world where she was welcome, where she felt wanted and needed. And no one cared whether or not she took her next breath.
Tanner had left her without a word this morning. The dreams she’d spun about them the night before were just fabricated lies that lovers whisper in the night. Tanner obviously hadn’t even been able to face her in the predawn light and tell her good-bye. He’d simply vanished, leaving her behind to face the day.
Tucker didn’t want to marry her; he’d only been acting on his mother’s wishes, and even then he’d had no intention of following through. While part of her realized she should be grateful, part of her was angry and felt that she’d been tricked.
Then there was her past. She’d sacrificed herself in order to preserve the family home, only to be scorned and rejected by her parents and the rest of her meager family, who had been ashamed of her efforts to save their home.
No one wanted her. She had no place to go.
Tears ran unchecked down her face as she threw her clothes into her valise, not caring whether they would wrinkle. A sob escaped her, and she fell to the bed and cried heart-wrenching sobs. She was completely alone, with barely enough money to get herself out of town. She had fallen in love with a man who was wanted by the law, who had left her to marry his brother.
Beth was determined to get out of Fort Worth and leave the Burnett family behind. To stay and face them day after day, to be reminded that she was not wanted, would be impossible. Tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks, soaking the bed with the evidence of her pain. She cried heartrending sobs for the man who had ridden off and left her.
Finally, after several minutes, the tears ceased, and she lay there realizing nothing had changed. Only her eyes and nose were now red and swollen, and her heart felt lighter, though still fractured.
She sat up and dried her eyes. She had survived the war, the public humiliation of her friends snubbing her, the death of her parents, and the end of her dreams. She would survive this, too.
A husband had been a means to fix her financial situation, to change her reputation, but maybe she just needed to be alone, to go somewhere and start new, with no connections, no ties to the past.
She took a deep breath, went to the basin, poured some water into the bowl, rinsed her face, and dried it on a towel that lay nearby. The sooner she left the ranch and all the memories and reminders of Tanner, the better she’d feel. She couldn’t look at Travis and Tucker without thinking of Tanner.
Quickly, before she lost her resolve, she finished packing the rest of her clothes into her trunk and valise. With a last glance she checked the room and then picked up her bag and walked out the door.
She squared her shoulders, tilted her chin up, and made her way down the stairs. She could survive without her mail-order husband, Tucker, but Tanner, whom she’d given her heart to, would be harder to get over.
As her foot touched the bottom of the stairs, she glanced up to see almost the entire clan waiting for her and felt her heart rise up in her throat. Only Rose was missing, and she was ill.
“Tucker, would you please take me to town? My things are all packed, and I just need my trunk loaded,” she said, a determined note in her voice.
Travis cleared his throat. “I’ll bring it down for you.”
He went up the stairs and disappeared into the bedroom.
Eugenia stepped forward and took both of Beth’s hands in her own. “I’m so sorry, Beth. I was wrong to write those letters and sign my son’s name to them. I love my children so much, and sometimes I do things I shouldn’t trying to help them.”
Beth felt the tears well up inside, but she bit her lip, trying hard to keep them at bay. Eugenia’s apology, while heartfelt, was premature; Beth was far too angry about the wrong that had been done her.
Eugenia squeezed her hands as if to try to reach her, and it was all Beth could do to keep from yanking her hands away.
“Please, Beth, stay here with us. Don’t go. You can stay here as long as you need.”
Beth shook her head. “I can’t. I need to put this all behind me.” She needed a fresh start, without the memories and the pain.
“You’re too upset right now. Stay here and take some time before you make any hasty decisions,” Eugenia pleaded. “I promise no one will try to influence you in any way. Just stay for a while longer.”
“No. I can’t stay here and watch for—I’ve got to go, now,” Beth whispered knowing she had to get away or break down and start crying again. She released Eugenia’s hands.
Just then, Travis came back down the stairs carrying her trunk in his hands. “I told Rose I was going to go with you, Tucker.”
“Okay,” he said looking at Beth. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”
She took a step toward the door. “Yes, let’s go.”
He cleared his throat and then grabbed his hat off the rack on the inside of the door. “ ’Bye, Mother.”
Eugenia sighed. “You’re always welcome here, Beth.”
“Good-bye,” she said hurrying before she started to cry again. She stepped through the door, wishing somehow she could leave behind her broken heart.
The two men helped her onto the wagon and then piled in beside her on its seat, tying Tucker’s horse to the back of the wagon. Travis would bring the rig home later that day.
With a flick of the reins, Tucker had the wagon rolling out of the yard of the large white ranch house, through the open gate, and down the lane that led to the road to town.
Beth glanced back behind her, taking one long, last look at the place she’d hoped to call
home, where she thought she had found the family she wished could replace her lost one, when she’d realized how much she loved the thief.
She swallowed the tears that threatened to fall once more and glanced ahead. Once again, she’d taken the wrong road in search of her dreams. Once again, she was on the road to a new life, but this time she wasn’t going to search for a man to take care of her. She wasn’t going to look for a family to replace her own.
She was going to find a job, make her own home, her own life. She would take care of herself and not entrust her destiny to someone else.
The wagon bounced along, the silence tense as they sat rigid on the seat, bouncing on the wooden bench.
Tucker leaned forward and asked his brother, “What time do you think Tanner left this morning?”
Travis glanced at Beth. “I don’t know. What time do you think he left, Beth?”
“Before dawn. I went to his room early, and he had already left,” she said, her voice sounding dull even to her own ears.
Tucker frowned, the look on his face questioning. “Why did you go to his room?”
She shrugged, knowing that Travis wondered why she was in Tanner’s room this morning, unwilling to tell him why. “I went to his room early this morning to talk, and like you said, his things were all gone.”
No one said anything for a few moments as the horses clopped along on the rough road. Travis was staring at Beth as if he were trying to understand. “There’s more to this, isn’t there, Beth?”
A warm early-morning breeze teased wisps of hair around her face. She brushed back her auburn locks. The day would be a hot one before noon.
“You were crying when I found you,” Travis said softly.
Beth glanced at the man who looked like Tanner and felt her heart almost break. She was reluctant to talk about this with them. She didn’t want them to interfere in Tanner’s decision, but she could not deny that she loved him.
“I... I went because I had to tell Tanner that I could not marry Tucker. I could not deny my love for Tanner anymore, and I didn’t think it was fair to Tucker.” She sighed. “But he was already gone.”
The Outlaw Takes A Bride (The Burnett Brides) Page 23