“Oh my gosh, you found her. Thank God, you found her,” she whispered.
“He’s dead,” I breathed.
Keva sniffled into my chest as Joanne pulled back and looked into my eyes.
“He took Keva?” Joanne asked.
I nodded slowly and I watched many emotions rush over Joanne’s face. Anger. Frustration. Relief. Much like the emotions I was experiencing.
“Stone and Texas are down at the station,” I said.
Joanne furrowed her brow. “Texas?”
“Mr. Horsey,” I said, giggling.
She smiled. “Ah. Him. Well, if you want to go down there, I can take Keva—”
I clung to my daughter tighter and Joanne nodded her head.
“I can’t be away from her right now. I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“It’s not a problem. You don’t owe me an apology. But can I hug her? Please?” she asked.
“How did you know what happened?”
She scooped Keva out of my arms and hugged her tightly.
“I have my ways of figuring things out.”
“Honestly, I don’t plan on letting Keva out of my sight ever again if I can help it,” I said.
“Trust me, no one blames you on that account. And, if it’ll make you feel better with regard to work, I can start coming over here to babysit Keva for a while. Until you’re okay again.”
“I’m not even thinking about work right now.”
“Are you thinking about going down to the station?” she asked.
No use in lying, I guessed.
“I am. Yes,” I said softly.
“Well, you should. If that’s where you want to be. And you know that if you ever need anything at all, just call. Or come knock on my door. Or yell at me from your porch. I’ll hear you. I always do.”
I smiled softly. “Yeah. I know. Thank you so much, Joanne.”
“Anytime.”
She kissed the side of Keva’s head, then handed my daughter back to me. And when Joanne exited my porch, I followed quickly behind her. The cops tried to stop me. Tried to tell me that my best course of action was to stay home and calm myself down. But I wasn’t having any of it. I had to see my brother. I had to make sure he was okay.
I had to make sure Texas was okay.
I piled Keva into my car and we headed out. I left those two cops in my dust to do whatever the hell they wanted with my home. I didn’t care. I didn’t feel safe in it anyway. I drove through Keva’s favorite restaurant and picked her up some food, then the two of us headed to the station. I wasn’t hungry. Not by a longshot. The fact that Jett was really dead fed my muscles and my aching joints. I felt myself slowly coming back to life again.
I was free, and it was a new feeling to explore.
We sat in the police station for hours on a hard bench just beyond the doors where the officer at the desk told me they would eventually come out of. If they weren’t booked first. I had no idea what that officer meant. Had Stone and Texas done something?
Holy shit, had one of them been the one who pulled the trigger on Jett?
“Mommy, are you okay?” Keva asked.
I kissed the top of her head as my leg continued to jiggle with nerves.
“I’m fine, princess. Just waiting for Uncle Stone,” I said.
“Why’s he here?” she asked.
“The police just have a few questions for him. That’s all.”
“Where’s Tex?”
“He’s answering questions, too.”
“Can we all go get dinner after?” she asked.
I looked up at the clock and saw it was almost nine at night. Holy fuck, Keva and I had been sitting there for four hours.
“We’ll figure it out, okay? I promise,” I said.
The two of us ended up falling asleep against one another. Nine o’clock bled into midnight. And midnight into two in the morning. The officer at the desk didn’t tell me much. Just that they were all still being questioned. Thankfully, Keva had no issues sleeping. I placed her on the bench and slipped my cardigan over her, then began to pace the main room. Where the hell were they? Why hadn’t they been released yet?
Then, the door finally opened.
“You’re cleared to leave,” the officer at the door said.
“Good. Because I gave that statement so many damn times I could do it in my sleep,” Texas grumbled.
I watched him as he gathered his things. His wallet. His keys. His leather jacket. He slung it around his shoulders and stuck his arms through, then his eyes lifted and met mine.
He paused before his eyes fell behind me. To Keva. Who was sleeping soundly on the hard, cold bench.
“You're cleared?” I asked.
His eyes came back to mine before a smile crossed his cheeks. Instead of answering me, he strode for me. His arms opened wide and his muscles ready to greet me. I didn’t care who saw us. Or who snapped pictures of us. I didn’t care if Stone came around that corner the second we touched.
Texas was okay, and he was free to go.
“I’m so glad you're all right,” I whimpered.
I threw my arms around him and held him closely. He buried his face into my neck, breathing me in the way I had with Keva when she finally got back home. Tears rushed my eyes again as his arms cloaked my back. He pulled me close to him before picking me up and carrying me over to the bench. And when he sat down, he worked my sleeping daughter into his arms and held us both tightly.
“You two are finally safe,” he murmured.
“I can’t believe it,” I whispered.
“I promised you that the two of you would get out of this okay.”
“You did. You did,” I whispered.
In that moment, I didn’t care who shot Jett. I didn’t care who pulled the trigger. All I cared about was the fact that I could finally move on with my life. Keva stirred long enough to peel her eyes open and see Texas. And when she did, she squealed with delight and held him close. She placed a soft kiss to his cheek that melted my heart, and I’d never seen Texas smile brighter than he did in that second.
“Come on. Let’s get you girls home,” he said.
We all rode back to my house in my car. I didn’t know where Texas’ motorcycle was, but I figured he wasn’t worried about that. He didn’t mention it, so I didn’t push it. We drove home and walked into the house, then promptly went to tuck Keva into my bed.
She sure as hell wasn’t sleeping in hers for a while.
“I think she’ll be sleeping with me for a few days,” I said.
“Come on. Be honest. She’ll be there for a few weeks,” Texas said, grinning.
He closed my bedroom door behind him as I snickered.
“Or months, if my anxiety gets that bad,” I said.
“She’s safe, Ella. I promise you. The threat is gone, and you two are going to be okay,” he said.
“I know, I know. It’ll just take time before I’m able to put her in her own room without freaking out every second she’s in there.”
“You could always permanently bolt the window shut.”
“Or I could switch her room and the guest room,” I said.
“There’s an idea. I’ll even help you with it if that’s what you want,” he said.
I looked up into his eyes and took in the way the shadows of the darkness played against his sharp features.
“Where will you go?” I asked softly.
He winced. “Well, Jett’s gone. For good. No more of a reason for me to stay here on duty.”
I nodded. “That’s true.”
“And I do have this new place I moved into. I should probably get back there and start settling in. You know, trying to make this townhouse my new place or whatever.”
“Congratulations.”
“Thanks. I needed a bigger place anyway,” he said.
I paused, unsure of what to say after that. I looked down at my feet as my mind swirled with all sorts of things. The truth was, I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to stay
with me and Keva in this house. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to sleep with both eyes closed without him there. But I didn’t know if he would. I didn’t know if he’d want to. I had an idea that he might, but it was only an idea.
I didn’t know if I’d ever be afforded that kind of life again, to be honest. That kind of happiness. That kind of man.
Not after what I’d put him through.
“Take care of yourself, yeah?” Texas asked.
“What?” I asked.
I snapped my head up as he moved past me, heading for the front door.
“Texas, where are you going? It’s five in the morning,” I said.
But instead of answering me with his words, he answered me by opening my front door.
I stood there in silence as the door closed behind him. And though I had the urge to go after him, I didn’t. He made his decision. He made his choice, and no matter how much it hurt, I couldn't change it. I let the silent tears flow freely. What was a few more tears shed over a man that deserved them?
“Mommy, why are you crying?”
I whipped around and saw a tired Keva rubbing her eyes in the cracked doorway of my bedroom.
“What are you doing up, silly?” I asked softly.
I scooped her up and took her back to my bed before I hunkered down next to her underneath the covers.
“Why are you sad?” she asked.
I sighed. “I’m just sad because my friend is leaving.”
“You mean Tex?”
“Yeah. I mean Tex.”
“Is he coming back?” she asked.
I tucked her in before I brushed her hair away from her forehead.
“I don’t know, princess. I really don’t,” I said.
“Well, that makes me sad, too. Can we be sad together?” she asked.
I snickered. “You can be sad with me whenever you want. But I hope you’ll be happy, too. Little girls should always be happy.”
“I wish he was my daddy.”
“What?” I asked.
Keva closed her eyes and snuggled into me as a yawn fell from her small lips.
“Tex can be my daddy since my other daddy got hurt real bad and won’t come back,” she said.
I had no clue on how to answer her. Or appease her. Or make her feel comfortable again. All I could do was pull her close and sing softly to her as she fell back asleep. The sun was slowly starting to crest over the treetops by the time Keva fell back into her slumber. And I didn’t care if we slept the day away. But I knew one thing for certain.
I wouldn't beg Texas to love me.
I’d begged Jett to love me. I compromised so much of myself to make that man want me. I wouldn’t do that for another man. Begging him had gotten me nowhere. Nope. The next man who loved me would have to fight for me. I wasn’t going to chase after some apathetic man that had no issues sidestepping me in some dark hallway.
Even though my heart broke into pieces, I refused to go after him. I already had once.
If he wanted me, he could come get me.
Twenty-Two
Texas
One Month Later
“I still can’t believe that shit about Boulder,” Stone said.
“You mean Officer Terry Woolf. He’s got an actual name,” I said.
“Fuck his actual name. And fuck his nickname. Just fuck him in general.”
It had been a month since Jett was killed, and Stone was still pissed. I mean, seethingly pissed. Knowing we had someone undercover in the crew put him on edge. Which meant we were changing up everything. The routes we took on a daily basis to have our weaponry and armor delivered to us. The places where we went to get ammunition. Hell, Stone even wanted to uproot where the damn bar was and put it someplace else.
Thank fuck I talked him out of that bullshit.
“I still don’t buy that shit about it being some sting operation, either,” Stone said.
“I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought,” I said.
“Why the hell not? They told us that bullshit cop penetrated our ranks because of some sting operation to take down corruption in a local department. Or in the courts. Or shit like that. But what the fuck does that operation have to do with us? It doesn’t make sense to me.”
I shrugged. “You’ve got me running around doing all this fuckery to try and reroute deliveries and funnel our money through other things that I haven’t stopped to think about it.”
“At least those two jackass judges were indicted on corruption charges.”
“That’s about the only good thing to come out of this shit. You know, other than Jett biting the dust.”
“Still wished you would have pulled that trigger?” he asked.
“Hell no. My ass would be in prison for life right now had I done that. Then, who the hell would keep your ass in check?” I asked, chuckling.
“I heard there were seven dirty cops that got taken down, too. Too bad Officer Woolf wasn’t one of them.”
“Yeah, but most of those seven were our contacts into the police in the first damn place. At least they knew better not to give us up.”
“Guess it wasn’t all bad, in the end,” he said.
“We’ll need to find new contacts in the department, though. So, try not to make Fake Boulder hate us too much,” I said.
Stone chugged back the rest of his beer while Bronx flipped burgers at the grill. He took it harder than anyone else. Mostly because Boulder and him had grown close. Bronx shut his entire life down after Boulder revealed himself to be nothing but a fucking pig. He stopped inviting us over to his place. He stopped coming to a lot of the social functions at the bar. His world completely shut down, and I was worried about him.
But hey, at least he was flipping some damn burgers at my new place.
“So, how’re you doing? You know, in this new place? And with shit in general?” Stone asked.
I kept trying to focus on Stone, but my eyes flickered over his shoulder many times. Ella stood over in the other corner, talking with some of the guys. She looked good. She looked like she was getting along fine. And I figured Keva was with that Joanne woman across the way, since Keva wasn’t at the cookout to break in my new place.
That took me almost a month to settle into after spending so much time at her house.
“Earth to Texas. You there?” Stone asked.
“Sorry, what was that?” I asked.
He looked behind him and stared at his sister before his eyes slowly came back around to me.
“You know, Ella used to smile a lot more when you were around,” he said.
I shrugged. “Shit happens when you try to keep women at arm’s length.”
“Arm’s length, my ass.”
I still wasn’t sure if this was a topic I wanted to broach with Stone. Especially since the two of us were almost three beers deep into our evening.
“Thanks for keeping her safe,” Stone said.
“Just doing my job,” I murmured.
“No, you did more than your job. You and I both know it.”
Our eyes locked and my heart leapt into my throat.
“Stone, we—”
“Do you really love her?”
I wasn’t sure I’d heard his question right.
“What?” I asked.
“You heard me, asshole. Don’t make me repeat it,” Stone said.
I blinked a few times before I drew in a deep breath.
“I care about our friendship more than anything,” I said.
“Not what I asked, V.P.,” he said.
“Stone, it really doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Look, Texas. You’ve always been there for us. For the crew and for our families.”
“You’ve been the same way. Which is why I don’t want to do anything to fuck it up,” I said.
Stone sighed. “Falling in love with my sister ain’t gonna ruin our friendship, Texas.”
“What?” I asked.
“You got something in your ear you gotta
dig out?”
“I’m just not sure I’m hearing you right,” I said.
Stone slapped my shoulder as a smile crossed his face.
“Man, I’ve considered you a brother from the moment we first met. You and me, it’s a kindred spirit sort of deal. You know this. I know this. Everyone knows this. But if you wanna try to be the brother-in-law instead, I can handle that. Especially after the lengths you went to—and were willing to go to—to keep her and my niece safe.”
I was shocked. Dumbfounded. Completely caught off-guard. Was Stone really giving me his approval to go after his fucking sister?
Would Ella even want me still, if that was the case?
“Thanks,” I said.
“So, I got one question for ya,” Stone said.
“And what’s that?” I asked.
“You ready to take on Keva?”
I furrowed my brow as Stone’s hand fell from my shoulder.
“Don’t get me wrong, she’s a sweet ass kid. Funny as hell. Brightens up my life. But she also saw her father gunned down right in front of her. That girl’s gonna need a lot of love—and therapy—when she’s old enough to realize what happened to her. You’re gonna be fielding that if you take on my sister. You ready for something like that?” he asked.
“Stone, I love Keva with all my heart. And I’d love her like she was my own. Always.”
“Then why the hell are you still standing over here with me?”
“Other than me assuming you’d gun me down in front of everyone?” I asked.
Stone chuckled, but he didn’t deny it.
“I’m not sure Ella feels the same way,” I said.
“How the hell do you know that? You talked to her?” he asked.
I paused. “No, actually. We’ve never had an explicit conversation about it.”
“Then why are you talking to me like that shit’s set in stone?”
I rolled my eyes. “You find a way to work that phrase into everything, don’t you?”
“Whenever I can, brother. Whenever I can,” he said, chuckling. “But I’m serious. Man the fuck up and tell her how you feel. I thought your balls were bigger than that, anyway. You telling me my sister’s probably fallen in love with some limp dick man-child? Because we already know how that ends.”
Texas: The Lost Boys MC #1 Page 14