The Arrangement

by Hilary Hamblin

  Eli smiled and held out his hand for the book. “Okay, I’ll give it a shot. What kind of something did she say?”

  Evie took a deep breath. “She said God will never give us more than he will give us the strength to handle.”

  “Easy enough.” He flipped through the thin pages. A second later he began to read, “Philippians 4:13: ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.’ Is that the one you needed?”

  Evie felt a little disappointed. She wanted to suddenly understand where everything was headed, but this verse left so much unknown.

  “What?” he asked. He seemed to study her expression.

  “I don’t know. I think that’s the one she was talking about, and it makes sense for her, but I’m not sure how it applies to me.”

  “Do you want to tell me about your discussion so maybe I can help?”

  Evie took a long sip of her coffee as she pondered how weird the conversation might get. But she had no intentions of marrying Eli, so maybe he could help her sort out the whole arranged marriage thing without feeling pressured.

  “She told me about meeting Taylor. After her boyfriend was killed in a car accident, she spent two years putting her life back together. Then her dad and my dad decided she and Taylor should date with the idea of marriage in the future.” As she spoke, Evie wiped away the condensation on the outside of the cup.

  It was an arranged marriage, she explained. She’d never imagined people still did such things. Years ago, maybe, when women had no options but to be a wife and mother. But now, she and Leigh Anna could very well support themselves without a husband. So why did their fathers think they needed a man to take care of them?

  “How did she feel about that?” he asked.

  Evie finally forced herself to look at Eli. “She hated the idea at first. She wasn’t ready to move on yet. But she agreed to one date because her father asked her to go. She said her father was afraid other men would take advantage of her sorrow, and he wanted to know she was with someone who would really care about her,” Evie reminded herself as she told Eli.

  “What happened then?”

  “She and Taylor became good friends, and then they fell in love.”

  “So where did the Bible verse come in?”

  “Oh, when Leigh Anna told about her almost-fiancé dying, she said she knew God would not put her into any circumstance he would not give her the strength to handle.”

  “She’s right.”

  Tears burned the back of her eyes. For the first time since this whole mess started, she felt torn. She loved Ben. Didn’t she? But neither of them was ready to give up the perks that came with being the daughter of Victoria and Thomas Barrett. And now she had feelings for Eli. He cared about her. He wanted to hear her ideas and thoughts and struggles. Yet she had built their relationship on a lie.

  She thought she would return to Ben, but she felt so comfortable, so in place with Eli. And now that Leigh Anna and Eli, himself, threw God into the mix…well, God had never played a part in her relationship with Ben. They did what they did for themselves without the help of anyone else. Yet Eli and Leigh Anna believed the only way they could handle life was with God’s strength. She shivered and pulled her jacket tighter around her.

  “Is it Ben?”

  Eli’s words drilled through Evie’s spine, leaving a tingling fear in its wake. She jerked her head up to look at him.

  “You broke up because of your parents, not because you stopped caring about him, right? And now you maybe regret it, or you are finding it hard to move on.”

  Tears spilled one at a time onto her cheek. She nodded. He put his arm around her and drew her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and let the tears wet his shirt. “Isn’t this weird for you, Eli?” She half laughed through her tears.

  “Yeah, it is a little weird. But I’m not sure God is calling me to be anything other than your friend right now. I care about you, Evie Barrett. I care about you a lot. But I’m not rushing into marriage just because your parents think we would make a good match. I think God has put you in my path because you need a friend. I want to be that for you. Eventually you will have to choose which kind of life you want. Either you want a life centered around God and the things he wants for you, or you want a life centered around you and what you want for yourself.”

  Evie wiped her tears on the sleeves of her jacket and pulled back to face Eli. “What do you mean? You think a life with you is what God wants for me, and a life with Ben is what I want for me?”

  “No, God may not mean for you to be with either one of us—and I’m okay with that. When you get ready to date again, you have to decide what kind of man you want to have in your life. But, first, you will have to decide who you will follow—God or yourself.”

  Evie stood in a huff and started to walk away. Eli caught her sleeve and gently drew her back onto the bench next to him.

  “Wait a minute. Let’s go back to what Leigh Anna was telling you. She’s a great example. She didn’t want to date your brother probably because her life was destroyed when her boyfriend died. She didn’t want to go through that again. But her father, who really wanted the best for her, asked her to go. She could have gone her way and not ever dated again, but she chose to go God’s way and follow her father’s request. She knew it could lead to a broken heart, but she also knew God would never leave her to deal with that alone. He would always be there to give her the strength to keep going. And she probably also knew God only wanted the best for her. Just like he only wants the best for you.”

  Evie let go of a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding and slumped her shoulders. Ben wanted the best for her too, right? He wanted her to keep her BMW and sorority membership. Or did he want that for him? What did he know about God anyway? Did he care what God wanted for her like Eli seemed to care?

  Eli pushed himself up from the bench, tossed his empty cup into the trash can next to them, and held out a hand to her. “I know you have a lot to think about. It’s late, and I have church in the morning. So I’m going to walk you back to your house and let you call me if you want to talk again.”

  Evie obediently reached for his hand. A tingle raced up her arm as their flesh met. Once her legs held her upright, Eli dropped his hand, leaving a chill behind. She walked beside him, resisting the urge to take his hand again, until they reached the sorority house.

  “Eli…” She started to speak until she saw him shake his head.

  He touched her hand once more. “Just call me if you need me,” he said before walking away.

  Evie wrapped her arms around herself. In the distance she again heard the music and laughter of the night, but it held no draw for her. She walked slowly back to her room. How could she know who or what was best for her? Confusion jumbled with intense feelings for two men. She opened the Bible to the verse Eli found for her and began to read.

  7

  )

  T

  he Sunday morning sun flitted though the curtains in Evie’s room the next day. Her Bible lay beside her open to Philippians chapter 4. She rubbed her eyes with one hand. It’s Sunday, no classes…

  Church. Eli would certainly be at church today. But what did it matter? He wasn’t sure God intended for them to be together or that Evie was ready for what God intended for her at all.

  She continued rubbing her eyes, now more out of confusion than sleepiness. She still didn’t understand why he would want to spend so much time with her if he wasn’t interested in anything more than friendship. Even her lab partner in freshman biology had asked her out.

  Evie groaned out loud when the ringing of a phone interrupted her thoughts. She blinked hard. That wasn’t her phone. She scrambled off the bed to throw the contents of her purse onto the floor until she spotted the brightly lit screen of the burner cell.

  “Hello?” she answered breathlessly.

  “Hey, babe, I thought maybe you were with Superman again,” Ben taunte
d.

  “Don’t be silly. I was just thinking about you,” she lied and then was bombarded by guilt.

  “So what do you have planned today? Think we could get together sometime? I’ve missed seeing your sweet smile.” Ben’s tone turned soft and kind.

  “I’m all yours. Where do you want to meet?”

  “There’s a breakfast place on the outskirts of town. Nobody goes there until lunch on Sundays. I’ll meet you there in half an hour.”

  Evie glanced at her watch and jumped from the floor. Half an hour? Did he know how long it took her to get ready? She jerked clothes from her closet and forced her anxiety away. “I’ll be there. Just give me the directions.”

  )

  Half an hour later Evie glanced into the mirror on her visor and added a little shimmery pink gloss to her lips. She didn’t see Ben’s car. Maybe he couldn’t get away without too many questions. Maybe he was waiting for her to go inside so he could follow her instead of them arriving at the same time. She tried to hold her head up as though she always went to the Biscuit Hut on Sundays for breakfast. She almost wore her sorority sweatshirt but was afraid it would make her out of place.

  Inside she slid into a booth near the back and removed her sunglasses. The red vinyl booths glistened from grease. Why did Ben always have to pick smoky, greasy restaurants? She longed for a pastry from the French restaurant downtown.

  “I hear they have killer chocolate gravy and cheese grits.” Ben’s voice broke through her thoughts. He slid into the booth across from her, a baseball cap pulled low over his eyes and two days’ growth of beard.

  Evie grimaced at the sight of him. She crinkled her nose as she studied the sharp dark hairs protruding from his face.

  “What?” He leaned closer so she could see each hair more clearly.

  “I’m not so sure I like the beard action,” she confessed sheepishly.

  Ben ran a hand over the rough terrain of his chin. “Everybody knows you always made me shave before we went out. So I grew the beard just to make sure people thought we were over. Now I think I kind of like it.”

  She plopped back against the red vinyl booth. “Why does everything we do have to be about proving to people we aren’t together anymore? We haven’t been seen together in over a month. We barely even talk on the secret cell phone.” She held her hands up to form quotation marks around the word secret. “Why can’t we just live our lives? Sure, I’ll pretend to date Eli, and you can pretend to date your girl-of-the-week, but in the end we are only two people trying to get on with our lives.”

  “What’s gotten into you?” He reached across the booth to clasp her hand.

  Evie pulled her hand back before he could touch it. “Oooo, gross!” Visible black dirt was caked beneath his scraggly fingernails. “Just because we aren’t together anymore doesn’t mean you can stop bathing and ignore personal hygiene.”

  “What are you talking about, Evie? ‘Just because we aren’t together anymore’? We are together, right? That’s what we’re doing here. That’s why I’m driving myself crazy trying to remember we are doing this so we can be together and happy in the end. You took care of me. Guys don’t think about cutting their nails and getting their hair trimmed. Most of us prefer not to shave if we don’t have to. You reminded me to do all those things so I didn’t become some outcast. You haven’t been around to keep me put together. This is what happens when I’m not with you.” Ben looked straight into Evie’s eyes.

  “Of course we are together.” She rested her head against the greasy wall behind her and looked up at the ceiling. “We’ll get you put back together again. For now, you can start by washing your hands. They look like you’ve been changing the oil in the frat boys’ SUVs all week. Then we’ll order and have a nice lunch.” Evie controlled her voice so it rolled smoothly and softly.

  Ben headed to the men’s room. While he was gone, she stared into the parking lot. Outside a row of vehicles all covered with various rust splotches tainted her view. What would happen if we gave up this charade? Would I have to drive a car like that? She turned and looked inside the diner at the two waitresses filling orders, their dull hair gathered into ponytails with escaping strands curling around faces shining with grease. Would I have to work in a place like this just to pay for college? Could I even go to college?

  She swiveled her head back to the view of rusted vehicles. How long could she and Ben keep up this act? How was she supposed to convince her parents to allow her to see Ben again? Oh, yeah, she was going to be so miserable they had to let her see him again. But she wasn’t really miserable. She actually had fun with Eli at the homecoming game.

  A shiver ran through her as she thought about Ben’s words moments earlier. They were pretending to be broken up so they could be together and happy in the end. What did he expect to happen over the next few weeks or months to make them happy together that couldn’t happen right now? Would her parents really consent to letting them date? Was their consent important to him anyway, or was it the money that came with their consent?

  “Earth to Evie,” Ben called as he slid back into the booth. “So have you decided what you want to order?”

  She glanced at his hands, relieved to find the majority of the dirt and scum removed. “I’m not really sure I’m hungry,” she replied as she opened her menu using only the tips of two fingers. Fried eggs, fried hash-browns, cheese grits, waffles with syrup… The list continued.

  A moment later a dull-haired waitress appeared at their table. “What can I get for you today?” She tapped her pen on her pad.

  “I’ll have two biscuits with chocolate gravy, an order of cheese grits, and some hash-browns,” Ben answered as he closed his menu and handed it to her. “Oh, and I’ll need some coffee with cream and sugar.”

  “And for you, hon?” she asked Evie.

  Evie pushed her menu toward the waitress with one finger. “Do you have hot tea?” The waitress nodded. “A cup of tea with a little honey.”

  “Is that all?”

  “I think so.”

  As soon as the waitress left, Evie focused her eyes on Ben’s to avoid staring at the beard-darkened chin. His eyes stared back, so she attempted to focus on his nose, his ear, and the man sitting behind him.

  “Are you sick or something? I’ve never seen you not order breakfast.” Ben dodged his head back and forth, forcing Evie to focus again on his face.

  Evie stared at Ben full on and swallowed hard. “Thinking about all that grease takes away my appetite. I’d really love a pastry and a bowl of fresh fruit, though.”

  “Oh, come off it, Evie. Since when have you become a health-nut? Or are the prices just not high enough for you here?”

  Evie frowned. “What?”

  “You’d rather go to that snooty French place than eat real food. This is what real people eat, Evie. People who can’t afford to spend thirty bucks on breakfast every week. Do you want to know why we have to sneak around to see each other? Because I can’t afford your tastes. We need your parents to help us out.”

  “Why does it have to be about the money?” Evie twirled her napkin between her fingers. “Why does everything come down to needing the money? Yes, a lot of people live without eating thirty-dollar breakfasts every week. A lot of people eat at home instead of going out. We could try that, you know,” she pleaded. “We could tell my parents we want to get married. We could elope over the Christmas holidays and tough it out for a few years until you graduate. Then I could go back to school. We’d be okay, even if it took us a few years longer.”

  She wondered why she dared him to give it all up. Would he give up his freedom and her parents’ money? Did he love her enough? Did she love him enough to actually go through with it?

  Ben laid his hand on top of hers to stop the constant motion. “Evie, we’ve been all through this. Yes, we could survive. But your parents would never accept me like that. Eventually you would miss them and their money, and you would want to go
back. Besides, why make life harder on us than it has to be? We still get to see each other. In another couple of years we’ll both graduate and get jobs, and then maybe your parents will see that I can give you the life I want for us.”

  His words drilled themselves into her memory next to Eli’s words the night before. “Don’t you see…” Evie’s voice caught as she finally whispered a response. “If being together is what God wants for us, he’ll give us the strength to survive the hard times.”

  Ben pulled his hand from Evie’s as though her words burned him. “God? What’s he got to do with this?”

  She scanned the rusted cars outside for the hundredth time. Could she really do this? Could she stand at this crossroads and either go with Ben forever or leave him behind? How long could she put off the choice? “I’m not sure he has anything to do with us,” she muttered.

  Ben narrowed his eyes and looked up quickly as the waitress returned with a tray full of food. She set one large platter of steaming biscuits covered in dark-brown liquid in front of Ben. Next to it she placed the hash-browns and grainy, yellow grits. Dark liquid sloshed from the cup she placed in front of him. She tossed a few sugar packets and cream cups next to the saucer and managed to slide Evie’s tea across the table to her without spilling any. Next to the cup she placed a spoon and honey packets. “Need anything else?” she asked, glancing back and forth from Ben to Evie.

  Both shook their heads.

  Evie wiped her spoon with a napkin before placing it in her cup, then drizzled honey into the golden tea. She stirred gently, watching the liquid swirl around and around. She sipped her tea and waited for Ben to swallow a large bite of food.

  “So is that what Mr. Stupendous has been telling you?” His mouth curved in a mocking half-smile. “Does he really think God is interested in who you date? Does he think God intends for you to be with him?”

  Evie’s eyes burned. Maybe Ben was right. The world had bigger problems, like global warming and starving children in Africa. Her love life must certainly fall at the bottom of God’s list of pressing concerns. She watched Ben shovel his breakfast into his mouth.