Desire From Hell

by Avery Rae

  "They still speak of me, do they? I thought as much." Samael smiled softly. "Worry not; you will have a place among us. We will not punish you for questioning us."

  "I don't want to be among you."

  "We don't want you among us, either," Edwin bit back.

  "Forgive me, but there's no going back from this. You chose something over Heaven. Your pride. Your morals. Power. Perhaps . . ." Samael's eye drifted toward me, ". . . a woman?"

  When Nathaniel's eyes joined his in focusing on me, sadness lurking in their depths, I knew Samael was right. It was my fault. Everywhere I went, I caused chaos. My very existence was apparently a recipe for disaster.

  I crouched down, my head bowed, and just tried to focus on breathing. This was too much to handle. I just wanted to go back to Earth, run to my apartment, and be semi-normal again.

  "You are welcome to join us, brother."

  "He tried to kill Hazel." Edwin sounded incredulous.

  "You've all done things just as bad, if not worse. Forgiveness is the key to redemption. Remember that, Edwin."

  Edwin said nothing, but I could hear his frustration still. Scuffing sounds followed the silence as they all began to leave, but I didn't move. I couldn't. I looked up as someone crouched down beside me.

  Edwin stared back at me. "I know you're pissed, and that's fine, but I need to get you somewhere safe. Will you come with me?"

  "As if I have a choice," I murmured.

  "I think the Hazel I know would make that choice anyway."

  I got up, shaking my head. "Then you know me even less than I thought."

  I started walking down the hill after the crowd, but Edwin grabbed me by the arm and pulled me back. "I don't deserve that, and you know it. Everything I've done is for you."

  "You should find someone better."

  "There is no one better. Not for me."

  I didn't know what to say. Maybe because I felt the same way, but I couldn't admit it. Not right now. I was too hurt by my clan and Nathaniel. So I took my arm out of his grip and walked away.

  My legs shook with every step. I didn't know if it was because of where I was or what. It wasn't like the unusual was foreign to me. I was raised in a family that practiced earthen magic to summon souls from Hell. I swallowed deeply as my foot landed in one of the ashen prints of the large angel ahead of me. His foot was easily four times the size of mine. I had small feet, granted, but still. I had a feeling he wasn't even the most intimidating thing I would find down here.

  As we walked, Edwin gradually fell in stride beside me. He's relentless, isn't he? Of course he was. Darkness had always followed me like a shadow. It only made sense. I could only hope it didn't get him killed.

  I glanced at Nathaniel's deflated form. Despite my anger, I hurt for him too, I realized, because he had been burned because of me. I wanted more than ever to disappear in that moment. Go somewhere I couldn't hurt anyone.

  "Don't even think about it," Edwin whispered close to my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "I'll chase you to the ends of the Earth if it means you stay alive."

  "Why won't you just give up?" I whispered back, voice terse.

  "If you have to ask that question, you know me less than I thought."

  I paused in my tracks to give him a long look, but he just kept on walking, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. I made a quiet, frustrated noise. In the wilds off in the distance, I saw a pair of green eyes staring back at me. Just as quickly as I saw them, they disappeared. I looked from side to side, cursed, then rushed to get inside the fortress.

  "You guys weren't kidding about this place being a fortress, were you?" I asked as Edwin led me down a dark, torch-lit hallway to his room. My anger had cooled considerably since we came inside. I still wasn't thrilled about being pulled around. In fact, I should've put up more of a fight about Edwin demanding I stay with him, but they were all pretty concerned about keeping Nathaniel from self-destructing.

  He had that look on his face I had seen reflected in my own mirror before. Hopelessness. Feeling like the world is slowly crushing you. The crowd of demons and angels had a better chance of helping him than I did. So I conceded, just to get myself out of the way. No matter my anger, I didn't need to hurt anyone else any more than I already had.

  "This place used to house an army," Edwin replied. "We're working on building one of our own, but it's slow going. Hard to find people worthy of redemption that won't abuse the position we're in."

  "Isn't redemption Heaven's gig?"

  "Maybe once upon a time. Not anymore."

  "What do you mean?"

  Edwin shrugged. "Ask your buddy Nathaniel about it sometime."

  "I don't know that we're all that friendly anymore, considering he tried to kill me. Plus, you froth at the mouth every time I talk to him."

  "Maybe if you would talk to me about things it wouldn't be such an issue."

  I stopped in the middle of the hallway. "What things? All we ever did was have sex. Then you would leave. What was there to talk about? Ever?"

  He rounded on me, his glowing eyes pinning mine. "Everything, Hazel. Everything."

  "Enlightening," I scoffed.

  Edwin grabbed my arm, then darted his other hand out to jerk a door open. The metal door rattled along its sliders as he pulled me inside. He slammed it shut and then he was possessing me. His mouth was hot on mine, his hands roaming over my body like familiar territory he knew all too well, touching me in all the secret spots that made me tremble.

  It took everything in me to push him away.

  "See? This is how it always goes," I said pointedly. "If you want to talk, then talk."

  He shoved a hand through his dark hair. I tried not to watch the way his upper arm bulged from the effort. I loved the few times he had stayed with me longer than usual. My favorite moments had been lying in bed, trailing my hand and fingers over his taut muscles, tracing their perfect lines.

  "You want to talk?" he asked. "Alright. Why him?"

  "Nathaniel?"

  "Who else?"

  "I don't know. He was there. You weren't."

  Edwin's jaw hardened, then he spoke in a voice so low I strained to hear him. "Do you have feelings for him?"

  "Is that all you care about?"

  "Answer me, Hazel."

  "So what if I do?"

  He slowly lifted his head, bringing his eyes to mine. What I saw there took my breath away. Because I could've sworn he was hurt. Why am I doing this?

  I looked to the side and whispered, "I don't. I promise you, I don't. He was never more than a friend."

  Edwin was in front of me then. He gently took my chin in his hand and lifted my eyes to his. They darted from side to side as he searched mine, like he was mining them for the truth.

  "We just talked," I continued. "Apparently he was kissing my best friend anyway—former best friend. I don't know anymore."

  Edwin was silent as he brushed his thumb over my chin then leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my lower lip. My eyes fluttered shut as I eased into the feeling with a soft sigh. I brushed my lips over his as my fingers found the cotton of his shirt, idly pulling at the soft material.

  "Aren't we supposed to be talking?" I asked as a fire slowly kindled to life in the pit of my stomach, flames fanned by each touch of his lips against mine.

  "We did." Without another word, he slid a hand behind my head and sank his lips down onto mine. I slid my hands beneath his shirt and splayed my fingers out over his hard muscles.

  He groaned against my lips. "I can never get enough of you."

  The fire building inside me raged wildly. That was one of my favorite things about being with him. He always let me know how good I made him feel, even with the simplest touch, and it was the most addicting thing I'd ever experienced.

  My fingers found their way down to his pants, tearing at the button and zipper. I hooked an arm around his shoulder and pressed my chest against his as I slid my hand inside. When I encircled his ha
rd length, he groaned and kissed me harder, but, to my confusion, he pulled away.

  "This is all about you."

  "Why?" I tilted my head to the side, toying with the buttons on my shirt.

  "Because I said so." His lips were slightly swollen and his eyes clouded by lust. He looked me up and down, then let a slow smile curve his lips. In the next moment, I was in his arms and he was carrying me to his bed. He set me down and made slow work of removing my clothes, touching and brushing his fingers all over my skin.

  When I was laid bare before him, he sat on his knees and stared down at me with unmasked desire. My own need too much to bear, I brought one hand up to my breast and dipped the other between my legs. He let out an appreciative groan and tossed his clothes off.

  I eyed him hungrily as he bent down, moving between my thighs to let his tongue take the place of my fingers. From the very first swirl of his tongue, my legs began to tremble. Each brush of his tongue seemed calculated to bring me close to the edge and leave me balancing there, desperate for release, but I knew from experience that the more I wanted it, the more he would hold it back. He loved it when I begged, and I loved begging for it even more. Two of his fingers joined his tongue. I let out a whimper as he slowly curled them inside me, and I felt him smile.

  "Edwin," I moaned. "Please."

  The air between my legs was cool as he pulled away. I let out a disappointed moan, arching up from the bed as he stared down at me hungrily. He brought his head down and took that devilish tongue to my chest as I writhed against the bed in desperation. I snuck a hand between us and plunged it between my legs. Edwin grabbed my wrist and brought it up beside my head with a grin.

  He brushed his lips over mine. "Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

  "You," I whispered.

  "How bad?"

  Eyes locked on his, I arched up against his hard shaft.

  "That bad? Already?" His warm chuckle flooded my core with heat. He had the best laugh I'd ever heard. "But I've only just started."

  "Please," I begged. "I need you."

  It was like a switch had been flipped. His eyes clouded over, and he devoured my lips with a hard kiss. I moaned and arched up again. He rewarded me by thrusting his hips down and sliding inside me, filling me so perfectly that my eyes rolled back into my head.

  "You feel so good," I moaned as he built to a slow rhythm that matched the roll of my hips. And it was agonizingly true. With each thrust, I edged closer to my release. I sank into his movements, his touch, the soft whispers in my ear as he slowly drove me wild.

  I moaned and dug my fingers into his muscled back, and his pace quickened. I joined him, bringing my hips up to meet him. Soon, we tore our lips from each other, taking in short, ragged breaths. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer, deeper.

  I needed more. I needed that release he'd been denying me. As I felt the fire in the pit of my stomach ignite and burst forth, I shoved a hand into his hair, gripping hard, and pulled him down for an aching kiss. As I moaned into his lips, he groaned, his body tensing as he found his release.

  Breathing heavily, he brought his lips to my ear and said, "You're not done yet."

  He sank his hand between us. It only took a few masterful circles of his fingers to take me to the edge again. He shuddered and groaned as I clenched around him once more, digging my heels into his back as my body rocked.

  When I finally wilted against the bed, he pressed his forehead to mine, and I opened my eyes. A lazy smile crossed his lips, and I smiled back.

  "So much for talking," I murmured.

  "We communicate better this way."

  I gave him a slow kiss. "We really do."

  As I relaxed against the pillows, I became aware of the sweat beading my skin. I was soaked after that.

  "Shower?" I asked hopefully.

  He laughed. "Yeah, but it's over there, far across the room. Can you make it on your own?"

  I hooked my arms behind his neck and nipped at his lower lip. "You're so full of yourself."

  "You don't seem to mind."

  "You're the worst." But I was still smiling. Because of course I was. I never felt more alive than I did in these moments. After we'd been together. It was why I couldn't let him go, wasn't it?

  Edwin got out of bed and held out a hand. I took it with a faint smile and let him help me out of bed. Although he had only been joking about walking, my legs were honestly a little shaky as he took me toward a tall, open doorway. Along the way, I couldn't help but notice that whatever shelves and other flat surfaces were in the room had models on them. Planes and ships. Like the type that came in boxes from craft stores.

  "Did you put all these together?"

  "Have to pass the time somehow."

  I wrinkled my nose slightly. "I always thought that was sort of an old man hobby."

  He gave me a flat look from over his shoulder. "Have you forgotten how old I actually am?"

  "Well, you don't exactly look like it."

  He came to a stop and turned around, tugging me against him, my slightly cooled skin pressing against his warmth. His shaft was hard against my stomach. I looked up at him with a raised brow.

  "Let's go take that shower," he murmured. "You're filthy."

  I laughed as he lifted me into his arms and took me into the shower, where he lavished me with even more attention beneath the hot water, as if he was memorizing my body all over again. It was so wonderful that I didn't even stop to consider why that would be.

  16

  Edwin

  I slid my arms around Hazel's waist and rested my chin on her shoulder as she stood in front of my dresser mirror.

  "I look ridiculous," Hazel muttered as she stared at herself. Her cheeks and neck were still flushed red from the shower. Her lips were slightly swollen and her light brown hair mussed. She looked stunning, as usual, even though she was swamped by a pair of my gym shorts and a V-neck shirt. I chose that particular style on purpose, and I wasn't ashamed. The collar hung down just low enough that I could see the top of her breasts. What can I say? The view is nice.

  "I disagree. I'm already thinking about taking you back to bed."

  Our eyes met in the mirror, and she gave me a sly smile. "You're something else."

  "That's the truth." I pressed a kiss to her collarbone and barely resisted the urge to sigh. I was going to miss her. Not just touching her perfect, soft body, but just being with her. She didn't know it, but we didn't have long.

  A lot had happened in the short time since I ran into Samael at the portal. He told me how we could save Hazel. Lucifer's crown. If someone was on the throne, then they could keep her safe from the Druids. They could stop them from using their powers. Samael wanted Hazel on that throne. He thought it was the perfect solution. I didn't agree. So I was taking matters into my own hands.

  I didn't care what happened to me as long as Hazel was safe. I knew Samael would take good care of her. Even if I didn't die, I was going to lose her. Because I had to, for her sake. That was just the way things had to be, and I had accepted it already.

  I raised my head to press a kiss to her cheek and pulled away. She touched a hand to the spot and smiled with a hint of bashfulness I'd never seen before. My heart clenched. I hadn't expected this to be easy, but I hadn't expected it would get any harder either. I was wrong.

  Hazel narrowed her eyes and gave me a big smile. "Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked with a laugh. "Why are you being this sweet? Are you going to start talking about feelings next? I'm starting to think you're an impostor."

  I wanted to talk to her. I really did. But I couldn't. So, instead of telling her I loved her, that I would do anything for her, I shot her a wry grin and said, "That's crazy talk."

  Her smile faltered. "Yeah, you're right. Crazy talk."

  Despite feeling like a knife had plunged into the center of my chest, I nudged her toward the bed and pushed back the covers.

  "Get in bed, you," I said.


  "See? This is what I'm talking about. So doting. So suspicious."

  "Just get in before I put you in. You need to get some rest."

  She fought back against a small smile, her lips pursed together. "Put me in, huh? I dare you."

  I slowly lifted a brow. She bit at her lower lip but her smile still spilled over. Her body tensed as she prepared to run for it. But I was far too fast for her. I darted forward and scooped her up into my arms.

  She let out a shrieking giggle as she squirmed in my arms. I held her close for a moment longer than I should've. Hazel laughed so rarely. Smiled even less. It was so nice to see her so happy. I hated that I was going to have to ruin it. But I couldn't delay it any longer.

  I brought her over to the bed and put her down. When I brought the covers up, she pushed everything but the sheet aside with another laugh. It really was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard. "I don't think I need that. It's boiling down here." She cocked her head to the side. "Can you not feel it? The heat in the air?"

  "It's there, sure, but I think us demons run a little hotter than most."

  She picked at an invisible thread on the sheet. "You do. You always feel really, um, cozy." Her voice lowered to a soft murmur as she stared intently at her lap. "I loved it when you stayed until I fell asleep."

  Damnit, Hazel. If only you knew how hard you're making this. I let my eyes fall shut for a moment, then opened them again. She brought her eyes up to mine and gave me a half-smile.

  "I'll—I'll be back later," I lied. "Make sure you stay in here, alright? I don't know if your annoying tree magic will work down here, and there are things out there that could rip you to shreds."

  "Like that weird horse-dog with horns that followed Priscilla?"

  "Especially those."

  I frowned at the thought of my hound. I hadn't seen him in a long time. Honestly, I envied the relationship Gael and Priscilla had with their hounds. Mine wasn't nearly as bad as Amberlynn's when it came to violent behavior, but he just wasn't as trustworthy as Gael and Priscilla's were. Sure, he was loyal to me, but he struggled to play nice with others.