Love Me Always (The Fielding Brothers' Saga)

by Marie Higgins

“Are you ready to go, Catherine?”

  “Yes.” She finished drinking her tea then stood.

  “Have an enjoyable time, Catherine,” the brothers chimed as she walked out of the dining room with Nick. Miss Gertrude descended the stairs, tying the bright green ribbons of her bonnet under her chin. Catherine also donned her white bonnet.

  “Oh, Nick, I so enjoy an outing with you.” She reached Catherine and patted her hands. “And getting to know our Catherine a little better, of course.”

  Catherine smiled, until she met Nick’s scowl. Her heart sank. This was going to be one very long ride.

  Chapter Seven

  Catherine refused to meet Nick’s eyes as he took her cold hand and assisted her in the waiting coach along the drive. She didn’t want to converse with him when he acted this way. Hopefully Miss Gertrude’s company would be more enjoyable. Nick had assisted his aunt inside then climbed inside to sit across from Catherine. After tapping on the roof of the vehicle, it lurched forward.

  Miss Gertrude’s idle chatter hummed with the rhythm of the carriage wheels. Catherine, lifting her gaze from the passing scenery, noticed Nick had been staring out of the window as well. The older woman seemed satisfied just to blabber without hearing anything from the other two in the vehicle. Every so often, Catherine glanced at Nick then quickly turned away. Unfortunately, his handsome appearance kept drawing her attention back.

  Wearing a deep green jacket with a black waistcoat, and his usual white silk blouse and black trousers, he appeared exceptionally dressed. It must have been the color from his jacket that made his eyes so dreamy, or was it the shadows inside the coach? It didn’t matter. It was hard to keep her eyes off him.

  Catherine really didn’t want to talk, but she couldn’t see going all the way to town without speaking to him. How could she forget the way he treated her yesterday or the glares he gave her last night? Maybe she would be able to make him believe she didn’t purposely try to hurt his uncle but she highly doubted it. Nick had judged her harshly, and she was determined to prove him wrong.

  When Gertrude ended a topic, Catherine cleared her throat. His gaze swung and met hers.

  “Nick,” she began nicely, “what will you do while Miss Gertrude and I are shopping?”

  He kept a solemn expression. “I’ll probably spend most of the day at my office.”

  “What?” Gertrude leaned her head closer to Nick, cupping her ear.

  He repeated what he’d said, raising his voice.

  “You have an office in London?” Catherine asked, lifting her voice for Aunt Gertrude’s sake.

  “Yes.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I own a couple of ships, and we are in the process of building another.”

  “Indeed? How amazing.”

  He grinned. “Why do you find it so amazing?”

  She shrugged. “All I have heard about titled families is they do nothing but attend balls and gamble all the time. I was told all their money comes from wealthy inheritances.”

  Gertrude snorted a laugh, then quickly brought her gloved hand to her mouth.

  Nick chuckled. “That might be the way it is in most families, but the Fielding men have always had a head for business, except my brothers have yet to find their lot in life. My father may not have owned ships, but he has several businesses all over the states. I have built my own shipping business in the past three years and taken over what my father had established when he was alive.”

  Catherine cleared her throat and said loudly, “I’m relieved to know that the Fielding men are hard working.”

  “Indeed we are, and we have been doing that for many years, going back at least six generations.”

  “That is astonishing.”

  He was silent again as he turned his attentions out the window. He may not want to talk, but she wasn’t about to ride all the way hearing only Gertrude’s voice.

  “Um, I was wondering—” She paused, not knowing how to ask the awkward question.

  He looked back at her. “Yes?”

  “Well, about last night. Did you…carry me to my bedroom after I had fallen asleep?”

  Gertrude leaned toward Catherine. “What’s that my dear?”

  She fisted her hands underneath the folds of her skirt, not wanting to repeat it, but knowing she must. Once she did, Gertrude’s head snapped toward Nick, her mouth agape as color bloomed in the older woman’s cheeks. Catherine realized now that perhaps she shouldn’t have asked that question. After all...it was scandalous for Nick to do such a thing.

  His face hardened. “Yes, I did. As much as I thought against it, I could not see you sleeping in the chair and waking up stiff and sore. Besides, my uncle would have been disappointed in me if I had not taken you back to your bed chamber.”

  Gertrude let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, what a sweet boy you are. I’m sure Grant would have been proud of you.”

  Catherine couldn’t believe Gertrude’s response. Why wasn’t the older woman lecturing them on the proper decorum and about creating a scandal? The older woman acted as if what Nick did was something noble. “I agree, Miss Gertrude, that was very considerate.” She held his gaze now. “I appreciate your kindness,” she ended softer.

  “You are most welcome,” he snapped. “Like I mentioned before, if my uncle had been awake, he would have wanted me to take you back to your room, anyway.”

  “Do you always do everything your uncle asks?”

  His eyes were wide when they met hers this time. “Of course. Why would you ask such a question?”

  She shrugged. “I just noticed you are extremely loyal. He always asks you to do things, yet he doesn’t ask your brothers. Why is that?”

  “Because I’m the eldest. I’m the one who will inherit the dukedom and businesses once Grant is gone. My brothers know this and they have accepted their place in the family and are not relied upon by the duke as I am.”

  “Do you not grow weary of it all?”

  “Catherine, you don’t understand.” His voice turned edgy. “That’s the way it’s done. I live with it and accept my station in life. That’s all. End of subject.”

  “Forgive me for upsetting you. I don’t know that much about the way of life you have led. It’s so very different being raised the daughter of Colonel Martin. He was a strict man, but I never had any reason to fear him or disobey. Then again, being a woman, things are different anyway. I was a good enough daughter, I suppose, until I reached my fourteenth year,” she ended softly.

  He sighed heavily and sat back in his seat, folding his arms across his chest. “Why? What happened at fourteen that made you change?”

  “Yes dear, tell us.” The older woman patted Catherine’s arm.

  Nick’s bland tone was different from his aunt’s. Obviously, he really didn’t want to know, but at least they were talking. Raising her gaze from her lap, she looked at him. “That was when my parents told me they intended to betroth me to your uncle.”

  He cocked his head. Even Gertrude’s eyes widened.

  “Why so young?”

  She couldn’t tell them what she expected – that her age was when she started resembling her mother. “I don’t know.”

  “What happened that day?” he asked.

  “He came to visit my parents. On this particular trip, you and your brothers did not accompany him. Before my parents said anything to me, your uncle took me for a walk and presented me with a ring.” She held out her hand to show him the family heirloom around her finger. “He told me this was the ring that was passed down from mother to firstborn son. I was a little confused, but he slipped it on my finger, and that was when I understood. I was so upset, I ran crying to my parents. They informed me Grant was to become my husband when I turned nineteen. That was the last time I talked to my parents, mainly because two days later I was sent to a finishing school.”

  Aunt Gertrude stroked her arm. “Catherine? Why were you angry with your parents for arranging your marriage? Most girls your ag
e dream about marrying a duke.”

  Nick’s brows creased and he leaned forward in his seat, linking his fingers together across his knees as if waiting for her answer.

  Catherine shrugged. “It’s just not done any longer.”

  “Actually, my dear,” the older woman said, “it’s still done in most titled families.”

  Sighing, Catherine relaxed against the seat and stared out the window. “Yes, but it wasn’t done in the little town where I grew up. All of my childhood friends picked their own mates. They had the chance to court and fall in love. My parents took that away from me.” She blinked to fight away the tears threatening to come forth. “My parents didn’t even ask my opinion. They went ahead with the arrangements and didn’t consider my feelings.” She turned back to him. “They were the ones marrying me off for money. I would rather be penniless and happily in love, than wealthy and never know love.”

  Nick leaned forward even more. “What about now? Do you still feel the same now that you have spent a little time with my uncle? He has purchased many things for you since you turned fourteen, which you wear and enjoy. Soon you will have all the money and prestige that you could possibly imagine. So now...have your thoughts of marrying him changed?”

  She met his dark eyes without blinking. “Like I said, I would rather be penniless and happily in love than wealthy and never know love.”

  * * * *

  Nick dropped off Catherine and Aunt Gertrude at the dress shop before going to his office. He had mixed emotions about everything now, especially concerning Catherine. After she told him about the situation with her parents, not much was said, but he had a lot to think about. He supposed she’d gotten all she’d wanted now, but she wasn’t happy at all. The poor farm girl wasn’t what he figured her to be, and now he knew a little more about her and the way her mind worked, he doubted she purposely tried to hurt his uncle yesterday.

  Maybe she wasn’t to blame. Perhaps she had no idea Grant was going to lose himself while in her company. If the roles were reversed, Nick would have for certain lost his head.

  Then again, Nick never did let her explain what had actually happened. Jealousy had taken over his thought and he’d just assumed...

  He squeezed his eyes closed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Why couldn’t he stop these feelings? He should forget his childhood love and allow his uncle have a bit of happiness before he died.

  Nick met with his business partners and went over the books from the shipping company. Time flew and before he knew it, the lunch hour was upon him. He skipped breakfast and now his stomach growled, reminding him to eat.

  Since he’d sent his carriage back for Catherine and Aunt Gertrude, he hailed a hackney to take him to an eating establishment. On the way, he passed a milliner’s shop, and out in front was parked his family’s coach. Without a second thought, he ordered the driver to stop. He climbed out and hurried inside.

  A few ladies mulled around, and his aunt looked to be making her way through the store gossiping...which was what she did best. In the back of the room, he spotted Catherine. She talked with that old busybody, Lady Ruthaford. Funny how Catherine already looked like a duchess the way she kept her chin up and her back straight, and met the other woman’s stare without cowering...since Nick knew Lady Ruthaford enjoyed making others squirm in her company. It relieved him that Catherine hadn’t noticed him yet. Neither had the older woman. So he casually wove his way through the shop until he caught their conversation.

  “I heard His Grace had a setback yesterday. Is he all right?” Lady Ruthaford asked.

  Catherine’s brow creased. “How did you hear that?”

  “One of my servants is related to yours, and she mentioned it to my maid. It’s just horrid that he would have an episode this soon after your coming out ball.”

  “Yes, well, his health is improving.”

  “It’s just so sad,” Lady Ruthaford went on. “He waited all these years, and now his heart goes and gives out on him.”

  “Yes, well—”

  “But you, my dear, must be quite relieved,” the older woman continued. “I mean, you are very young and have your whole life ahead.”

  Catherine’s mouth grew tight. “What are you implying?”

  Lady Ruthaford waved her hand through the air. “Most of the ton knows he’s enamored with you, my dear. There is no reason for you to keep it a secret. It will only be a matter of time before your betrothal is announced.” She chuckled. “And when His Grace finally leaves this world, you will be set for the rest of your life. You are one fortunate woman, Miss Martin. Most wives have to live with their husbands a few years before the men meet their maker, but you might only have to tolerate him for a few months.”

  Catherine’s eyes widened. Even her hands bunched into fists at her side. Red blotches appeared on her cheeks. “Lady Ruthaford,” Catherine began, her voice stern, looking straight into the other woman’s the eyes. “For one thing, it’s none of your business what kind of relationship I may or may not have with the Duke of Ashton. I will have you know he is a kind and gracious man, and if he has ten more years left, I may consider myself most fortunate to have known him that long.”

  Catherine paused, but only long enough to take a deep breath. “Now, Lady Ruthaford, I hope I will not hear any more rumors about me or His Grace from you or any other ladies of the ton.”

  A smile bracketed Catherine’s mouth as if nothing happened. “Have a pleasant day and I hope we meet again very soon.” She turned, her manner graceful, and with her back straight and her head held high, she walked away from the old lady toward the hat racks where Aunt Gertrude stood.

  Relief poured through Nick and pride burst in his chest. Catherine had actually stood up to society’s notorious gossipmonger. In all of his life, nobody had ever told old hatchet face Ruthaford to mind her own business. He grinned, and his respect for Catherine grew.

  Lady Ruthaford whipped around, and with a red-face scowl, hurried out of the shop. Probably out to spread more gossip.

  He waited until the haughty woman’s carriage passed by the shop’s window before he sneaked outside. Leaning against the brick wall, he waited. Within seconds, Catherine walked out and to the coach, but instead of climbing in, she stood still as if in a daze.

  He stepped behind her. “Well done, Miss Martin,” he said softly over her shoulder.

  She jumped, swung around and faced him. Her cheeks turned a bright pink and she brought her hand to her throat. “Well done? For what?”

  Her eyes seemed bluer out here in the sunlight, and he was certain her white bonnet helped to lighten her face as well. Nick smiled and nodded. “For putting that old hag in her place and sticking up for my uncle.”

  “You...heard?”

  He chuckled. “Oh yes, and it’s a shame Grant wasn’t here to hear it also.”

  “Well, I – I—”

  “No need to explain. I know why you did it. You love him.”

  * * * *

  Catherine folded her hands against her fluttering stomach. Her heart didn’t beat out of control because of the encounter with old lady what’s-her-name, it was from the tenderness displayed on Nick’s face. His eyes were a softer blue and his face more relaxed than she’d ever seen.

  She nodded. “I have loved him as my parents’ friend and confidant for so long, it’s hard to stop.”

  “Yes, I know.”

  There was silence for a few minutes as they just stood staring at each other. Her heart lodged in her throat, making it difficult to breathe. His eyes softened the longer his gaze held hers.

  Catherine cleared her throat. “What are you doing here? Is it time to leave?”

  He smiled. “No. I thought you might be hungry and enjoy having lunch with me.”

  Her smile widened. “Indeed. I would.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Miss Gertrude should be here shortly. She was detained.”

  “Yes, I’m certain she was.”

  Awkward silence stretched between th
em and he shifted. Her gaze bounced around everywhere but on him, not daring to say anything for fear he’d become upset like he had last night. When he cleared his throat, she met his gaze – now laced with kindness.

  “Catherine, I must apologize for what I said last night.”

  Shock spread through her and words were lost to her. She couldn’t possibly be hearing him correctly. She swallowed hard, hoping her head would clear so she could think of something to say.

  “I realized today,” he continued, “that I had reacted badly to what happened to my uncle and blamed you when I should not have. Will you please forgive me for being so rude and inconsiderate?”

  Her heart melted from his heart-felt confession. Knowing Nick the way she did, she suspected it was hard for him to speak those words. She smiled. “Of course, Nick. I thank you for apologizing.”

  He stepped to the coach and opened the door. Holding out his hand, he asked, “May I help you inside now?”

  Softness rested around her heart and she nodded, slipping her fingers against his palm. As she climbed into the coach, she felt his gaze on her, warming her quickly. She wished he didn’t have that effect on her.

  Within minutes, Gertrude rushed out of the shop and Nick helped her in. The older woman sat across from her this time. As Nick settled himself next to Catherine, she trembled. The musky scent of spice wafted through the air, making her want to close her eyes and breathe in his heavenly scent.

  The inn where Nick took them reminded Catherine of the last eating establishment she’d visited with the three brothers, except this one was a hundred times nicer and the serving women dressed with much more modesty...and they didn’t flirt with Nick.

  After their plates of food came, he smiled at her. “So tell me, Catherine, what have you purchased so far today?”

  She took a swallow of her drink before answering. “Well, I ordered a few dresses from Madame La Fonté, but other than that, I really have not bought much.”

  He almost choked on his food. “What? That’s all? Where did you learn to shop?”

  “I’m not used to shopping for clothing since I have made most of my gowns. But the truth is, I wasn’t enjoying myself much.”