Dating A Saint

by Donna McDonald

  “Hi, Sam” Jim said.

  “Hi. You—you wanted to talk to me? Is this about Sandy?” Sam asked.

  “Yes. Well, it affects her,” Jim said, motioning Sam to walk along with him. “Let’s go to my office if that’s okay. How are you doing?”

  “Mostly good. The anxiety is almost gone. I’m a little nervous about talking to you,” Sam confessed. “Dr. Edison says the OCD is barely noticeable now. Don’t you still get reports.”

  “Yes, but that’s just doctor speak. I wanted to hear how you felt from you,” Jim said. “I consider you my family just as much as Cassandra.”

  Sam looked at Jim. “I know. You are a good man.”

  “I’m glad you think so. I think you’re a good man, too. I have something important I want to ask your opinion about, Sam.” Jim put his hands in his pockets as they walked.

  “Okay,” Sam said, starting to get worried again as he took a chair in Jim’s office. The office stayed dark when Jim wasn’t around. Now all the lights were on. He liked it better when Jim was here. But he didn’t like it when Jim looked nervous.

  Jim shook his head and smiled. “Don’t look so worried. I only have good things to share, but I can’t share them with Cass—Sandy yet,” Jim said.

  “I like your new friends,” Sam said. “Sandy likes them too.”

  “So do I,” Jim said. “In fact, I have another new friend, one I’d like to bring to see you and Sandy sometime soon.”

  “Your eyes changed colors. A girlfriend?” Sam asked, smiling at Jim’s nod. “It’s about time, Jim.”

  “You’re still as perceptive as ever. Yes,” Jim said, meeting Sam’s gaze. “It’s a woman. Do you think Sandy will mind?”

  “No. She often worries about you being all alone.” Sam asked. “Are you planning to divorce Sandy?”

  “I would never do anything that would prevent me from protecting the two of you,” Jim watched Sam blink as he assimilated the information. Sam had been an attorney at one time. Jim knew he’d understand about the legal ramifications.

  “You know I would like to be really married to Sandy,” Sam said. “I would also like to be divorced. If you keep the girlfriend, will you divorce Sandy?”

  “You and Sandy will always be together, no matter what happens. I don’t know about the rest,” Jim said.

  “If you get divorced, can I get one, too? Can you do that, Jim?” Sam leaned forward as he spoke, liking the idea of being a free man. Sam knew Jim paid his wife so he could stay with Sandy.

  Jim’s eyebrows rose. “Are you serious?”

  “Yes. Margaret never loved me. She loved my money. I’m glad my father lost it all,” Sam said easily, clearly. “Margaret lost interest in me after the money was gone.”

  Jim was amazed at the transformation in Samuel. He seemed quite normal suddenly. He also seemed quite excited at the idea of divorcing his legal wife. What a strange situation they were all in, Jim thought. Both he and Sam were legally married to women who didn’t want them. At least Sam had Sandy. Maybe he was close to having Lauren. Thinking about the irony of it all made Jim sigh.

  “I can’t promise anything, but I will ask about getting you a divorce. Will you let me be your guardian if you need one afterward?” Jim asked. “I promise to care for you.”

  Sam was shaking his head no. “I like you, Jim. But I want my son to be my guardian. I think he will want that too.”

  “Son? Sam, you don’t have a son,” Jim said, disappointed Sam wasn’t as clear on reality as he seemed. “You and Margaret didn’t have children because of your illness.”

  When Sam suddenly smiled, it was like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. “Yes. I have a son, Jim. I even have grandchildren. Don’t tell anyone. Margaret doesn’t know. If she did, she probably wouldn’t let them see me.”

  “I don’t understand. Are you sure you have a son?” Jim asked.

  Sam reached in his pocket and pulled out a picture. He slid it across to Jim.

  “I haven’t even told Sandy he is my real son, but Hector tells her he loves me. I loved his mother when I was young. It was long ago, before I married Margaret. I wanted to marry Rosa, but my father sent her away. I could never find her. Rosa and Hector found me here,” Sam said. “I should have told you, but I was protecting them. I thought you might think I didn’t want Sandy anymore, but I love Sandy.”

  “I know you do,” Jim said sincerely. There had never been any doubt in Jim’s mind about Sam’s love for Cassandra. Giving her up had only been tolerable because he knew Sam took care of her. He looked at the picture of Sam and a smiling young man who looked Hispanic in origin. “He’s a good-looking man.”

  “Hector looks like Rosa. His name is Hector Samuel Gonzales. Rosa gave him my name even after what my father did. Hector is the person who taught me how to take care of the flowers,” Sam said with a shrug. “My son is very good at what he does. He loves plants, but not as much as his family. Hector is a good man.”

  “I am sure he is,” Jim agreed. “Can I talk to him? It’s not that I don’t believe you, but if you want him to be your guardian, I would have to talk with him. He’d have to be willing to sign papers for you.”

  Jim handed the picture back to Sam, not letting on that he recognized the man who ran the grounds service for Whispering Pines.

  “Hector comes on Tuesdays. Can you come back then? I’ll tell him about you. I won’t tell Sandy about the divorce. I don’t think she would understand. It might upset her.”

  “I don’t want to upset her either. Thanks, Sam. I’ll talk to your—son, next Tuesday. Only I don’t know about the divorce. Even if it doesn’t work out, we’ll make sure you and Sandy get to stay together.”

  “I trust you,” Sam said. “You’ll take care of us. You’re a good man.”

  Jim closed his eyes. “Everything I want to do may take a long time to work out. Be patient with me.”

  “I really want my divorce,” Sam said. “I would do it myself if I could. I used to do those things all the time.”

  “Yes, I know. I heard you were really good.” Jim said, smiling.

  “I like taking care of flowers better,” Sam said with shrug. “Sandy will be done with the doctor now. I better go meet her.”

  “Thank you, Sam.” Jim noted Sam’s fixation with time was still there, but hell—many people ran their lives by a clock.

  Jim leaned back in his chair, staring at the door long after Sam had exited.

  Barrett was going to love this twist. Sam didn’t know it, but Jim would gladly pay Barrett to negotiate for Sam’s divorce. The woman used Sam as a bargaining chip. He was already paying for Sam’s keep, but he was also paying Sam’s wife in order to keep Sam with Sandy. It was worth every penny, but still fundamentally wrong.

  Now there might be a son. Not that Jim believed Sam’s story, but he’d have to talk to the man just in case. He just hoped the man wasn’t going to be embarrassed about Sam calling him his son.

  And if he was, well Jim imagined a raise would soothe it over. Money could fix a lot of things—which is why Jim made sure he always had a lot of it.

  *** *** ***

  At four that afternoon, Lauren jogged down the stairs to answer the doorbell. She was sweaty and hadn’t finished her workout yet but figured her overnight delivery had arrived earlier than the six o’clock estimated time. When she looked through the security port in the door, she was looking for a brown uniform, but she saw Jim instead.

  Unlocking the door, she opened it, her breathing still choppy from exertion. Or maybe she was breathless to see him dressed in business clothes and looking incredibly sexy.

  “Hi. I thought you were the delivery man,” she said to Jim, smiling at the handsome picture he made.

  Jim narrowed his eyes as his gaze took in her tight black workout pants and red tank top. At least she was wearing a bra this time, he thought darkly.

  “Last time I was at your house you were expecting a stripper. How long before you finally start exp
ecting to see me?” he asked, glaring at her smiling face.

  Lauren’s smile died. She was fast learning Jim got super sarcastic when he was angry, worse than Alexa or Regina. And as usual, this time she had done nothing to deserve his irritated response to her greeting.

  “Sorry, I needed a third guy to help me burn off all this energy and thought I’d proposition the delivery guy. I left the other two guys in the workout room upstairs. I might have energy to handle a fourth. Want to join us?” she asked snidely, his snarky attitude bringing out the bitch in her again.

  “Are you trying to piss me off on purpose? And why in the hell are we always fighting? I came to talk to you about something important. Shit,” Jim said, pulling one hand from his pocket to run it through his hair.

  Lauren grabbed his arm to pull him further inside before slamming the door closed behind him. It rattled on its hinges from the force she used.

  “I was expecting a damn delivery. When are you going to stop thinking the worst when you see me? I led a pretty exemplary life up until you,” Lauren demanded. “If you’re teasing, it’s not funny.”

  Jim sighed at her consternation. “I wasn’t teasing. I was—overreacting. Damn it. The idea of you with somebody else drives me crazy. Let me try this over,” he said, taking a deep breath. “Hi. I probably should have called first, but I don’t have your phone number. I can’t believe I forgot to ask you for it. I have something I’d like to talk to you about if you have time.”

  Sighing to herself over his apology, Lauren could tell Jim was sincerely upset about something. Deciding to let the anger side away this time, she walked over to Jim and stood on her toes to touch her mouth to his.

  “Hi back. I was in the middle of working out, but I’m glad you stopped by. Of course I can make time to talk to you. Remind me and I’ll make sure you have my phone number before you leave.”

  He all but tasted her forgiveness. It was so welcome Jim stopped her when she started to back away.

  “Wait,” he ordered. He put both arms around Lauren and lifted her mouth to his again, using his hands to lift her hips to his. Everything lined up between them in incredible ways. He slid his hands to cup her backside as he held her body pressed firmly against him.

  “I’m sorry I insulted you again. I need more of you. Don’t kick my ass, okay?” Jim let himself dive into kissing her mouth, his tongue seeking and finding hers, indulging his need to connect to her thoroughly before pulling away.

  “I’ve missed you terribly,” he said to Lauren, loosening his hold at last. “Tell me it’s okay for me to keep coming by your house to see you.”

  The question surprised Lauren. Why would it not be okay?

  “Come by anytime,” she said, standing on her toes and winding herself around Jim as much as she could while he hugged her hard. She kissed his temple, then moved her lips down his cheek already roughened with a partial day’s growth of beard, before letting herself drop back down from her toes to flat feet.

  “I’ve missed you too,” Lauren said softly, her voice already made husky with lust. To keep herself from begging him to go upstairs with her, she stepped away from the warmth of his arms. “Let’s go into the kitchen. I need some water. What did you want to talk with me about?”

  Jim put his hands back into his pockets again as he followed Lauren into the kitchen. He watched her walk to the refrigerator and pull out a bottle of water. He shook his head when she offered him one.

  “I guess it could have waited until later. It’s just—hell. You disturb me on so many levels I have trouble thinking clearly around you. I came by to tell you about my wife,” Jim said flatly.

  Lauren lowered the bottle, the water she’d drunk sliding slowly down a suddenly tight throat. “Oh—uh, okay,” she said. “I think I’d like to go put on some drier clothes first. Why don’t you wait in the living room while I change out of these?”

  Actually, she needed a little time to adjust to hearing Jim say my wife like there really was one. Lauren suddenly feared she had been in denial about the situation, but she had no choice but to hear what Jim had to say.

  Jim nodded at her request. “We can even wait until later if you want,” he offered. “I can come back this evening. I don’t know why I felt I had to rush over here this afternoon.”

  “You probably rushed over here because we’ve already waited long enough,” Lauren said carefully, watching Jim reluctantly nod in agreement. “Let me put on some less sweaty clothes. I promise to be back in two minutes.”

  Jim went into the living room to wait. He wished he could have followed Lauren upstairs, watched her change clothes. If he did though, he doubted they’d be talking much. He sat in a chair by the window to wait, wondering where to begin his story.

  Lauren came back a few minutes later dressed in jeans and wearing a tee shirt hugging every curve. Jim blinked as she walked to the couch. He wanted to tell her how great she looked, but all he could think about was the limitations of the life he’d chosen for himself, including the fact he never looked so happy or at ease.

  “I don’t own a single pair of jeans,” Jim said to her, sounding as pathetic as he felt.

  Lauren laughed. “Jared hated me in jeans, but I actually bought my first pair to spite my mother who thinks they make me look fat. I own several pair now that clothing lines have added enough stretch to be comfortable around my curves. Denim isn’t just for skinny girls anymore.”

  “Lydia is dead wrong about your body. Skinny has always been overrated. Curves look nicer and are a hell of lot more fun,” Jim said easily with a smile. “Maybe you can help me buy a pair of jeans sometime. I’m afraid to ask Kaiser for help again. You should see the weight room in my house.”

  “You lift?” Lauren asked. “I didn’t know that.”

  “I started—well, I guess it was after I saw Kaiser in a sweaty tee shirt. The man has a six-pack an eighteen year old would envy. I have to admit I feel a lot better for what I’ve been doing. And the muscles came in handy when I carried you to bed the other night,” Jim said.

  “I’m sorry I missed it,” Lauren said softly. “Tall curvy girls don’t get carried often.”

  “Maybe we can change that,” Jim said softly in return.

  “Maybe,” Lauren replied cautiously, though she knew her gaze was screaming yes loudly enough to be heard on the other side of town.

  Jim smiled and looked away from Lauren. The last thing in the world he wanted to talk to her about was another woman, but he’d already waited too long to tell her the truth.

  “I haven’t told many people what I’m going to tell you,” Jim said. “I probably should have told you weeks ago, but I—well, it’s just my habit to hide the truth to protect my wife and her elderly parents.”

  “Jim, whatever you need to tell me—just tell me,” Lauren said. “Knowing is better than thinking you want to keep the truth from me. I don’t intend to tell your secrets to anyone.”

  “I’m sorry. I know that, of course,” Jim said, running a nervous hand through his hair. “The short story is my wife Cassandra was institutionalized seven years ago when she became delusional after a prolonged illness. There was some fairly extensive brain damage. She’s made a partial recovery and is in a facility now in Maryland where she lives full time.”

  Lauren blinked several times and swallowed. “You—you provide for her continued care?”

  “Yes,” Jim said firmly. “I stay married to her because it allows me the legal right to provide what she needs.”

  Jim swallowed hard before continuing, and forced himself to meet Lauren’s eyes when he did. “I also take care of the man my wife considers her real husband.”

  Lauren leaned back on the couch. She couldn’t have heard right. “Wait. Your wife—she’s—she’s with someone else?” Lauren shook her head in disbelief.

  “Sam and Cassandra met when they were in a facility in Baltimore. Sam has severe OCD and problems handling anxiety. He was in and out of treatment when he met Cassand
ra—Sandy as he calls her. She was in a very dark place then, one I could never really visit with her. Despite his own problems, Sam managed to pull Cassandra back to the light. It didn’t really surprise me when she fell in love with him,” Jim explained. “Sam is a good man. Still is. Always will be probably.”

  “But, Jim,” Lauren said, struggling to make sense of how he could tolerate such an unfair situation. “What about you? Your wife was essentially cheating on you in front of you while you continued to care for her. Didn’t she know on some level what she was doing?”

  “No—no, I don’t believe Cassandra knew she was hurting me at all. Her understanding of most relationships is like a child’s simple view of them. And yes, of course I loved her, and it hurt,” Jim said quickly, seeing the questions in Lauren’s gaze, but unsure how to explain the complexities of emotion he had grown to accept. “Sure there have been times over the years that I’ve looked at what Cassandra is doing as cheating. But if you saw her and Sam together, you’d see it’s not like that at all. Sam fits her better than I ever did. More importantly, Sam understands her illness and knows how to help. It wouldn’t have been right for me to keep them apart when they obviously belong together.”

  Jim stood to walk to the window and look out at the world beyond Lauren’s living room. He was very glad to be telling her the truth at last, glad she was willing to listen to his explanation.

  “After I accepted my role in Cassandra’s life had changed, I decided it was still my job to make enough money to take care of her, which turned into taking care of them. When you truly love someone, you do what you have to do. She was—is still legally my wife. Everything I have done is because I truly loved her when I married her. I try to keep the promises I make.”

  Lauren thought about how it must have been for Jim all these years, going home alone, leaving his wife with another man. His situation with Cassandra was every bit as bad or worse as hers had been watching Jared leave her bed to be with other lovers. The betrayal would have cut just as deeply, she guessed, regardless of the reason.