Billy

by Donna Joy Usher

  We closed on the guards fast. I braced my body ready for impact, this was going to hurt. But the closest guard wobbled on his feet. He stretched an arm out towards his buddy as if looking for support. The second guard stared at the arm as if trying to work out what it was. I heard Nick laugh and then both guards crashed to the ground.

  Nick let out a howl of triumph as we jumped over them. I glanced over my shoulder as he wrenched open the door.

  The music still played, and people still danced. I felt like the whole club would be staring, but in reality, it was only the people we had charged past that were aware something was going on.

  Billy stood at the edge of the crowd. He stared in disbelief at the guards lying in front of us. He shook his head and fell to one knee, his eyes holding mine until they closed. Then he, too, collapsed to the floor.

  ‘Come on.’ Nick grabbed my arm and dragged me out the door and onto the footpath.

  ‘But….’ I struggled against him. Billy was hurt.

  A horn honked and head lights flashed and a couple of seconds later a car screeched to a halt next to us. ‘Get in,’ Martine shrieked.

  Nick dragged me towards the car. I stared back over my shoulder as I let him pull me.

  I had been running on adrenaline from my body’s fight-or-flight response, a wild animal escaping danger, but now my heart seized control, screaming at me to go back. I started to struggle against him.

  ‘You go back in there and you blow his cover.’ Nick shook me. ‘Come on Chanel, you’re smarter than that.’

  Damn him to hell in a hand basket. He was right. It was time to let my brain retake control.

  I yanked open the back passenger door and dived in headfirst.

  ‘Go, go, go,’ Nick screamed as he jumped in after me.

  Tyres screeched and then we were racing away.

  I wriggled around to face Nick. ‘What was that?’ I asked. ‘What did you give him?’

  ‘Carfentanil.’ He shrugged.

  ‘Elephant tranquilliser?’ Martine looked over her shoulder. ‘Isn’t that stuff dangerous?’

  ‘Well, durrr. It can take out an elephant. Of course it’s dangerous.’

  I thumped his shoulder. ‘You gave Billy something dangerous?’

  ‘Relax, Toots. I was very careful. I just dipped the very tip of the dart into it. It takes 20 micrograms for it to be lethal for an adult.’

  ‘It can be lethal?’ I shrieked. ‘Go back. Martine. Go back. We have to go back.’

  ‘Oh pulleease.’ Nick crossed his arms over his chest. ‘I used to prepare this stuff all the time in the circus. I know what I’m doing.’

  ‘What did you use it for in the circus?’ Martine glanced back over her shoulder.

  ‘The lions. Only way we could get them vet checks.’

  I took a deep breath and calmed myself. Nick said he knew what he was doing. There was no doubt about it; he had saved our lives. I was going to have to trust him with this.

  I turned to him. ‘You were pretty awesome in there.’

  The hard look on his face softened. ‘You think?’

  ‘I know. You were like some sort of ninja. Martine, you should have seen him. He was incredible.’

  ‘You were pretty good yourself, Toots.’

  ‘Pfffft.’ I flapped my hands at him. ‘All I did was knock people out of the way.’

  ‘You were like a rugby-league forward. Bang. Whack.’ He bent over and pretended to tackle somebody. ‘I nearly fell off the bar laughing when you palmed that guy in the chest.’

  ‘What happened?’ Martine asked.

  ‘He flew backwards and then Chanel used him as a springboard.’

  ‘No, I mean, what happened before that?’

  ‘Oh.’ Nick shook his head. ‘Chanel got into a cat fight and blew her cover.’

  Martine indicated and then turned into the underground parking beneath our apartment building. ‘Oh, Chanel.’ She tutted. ‘What were you thinking?’

  ‘I was thinking, that bitch touched Billy.’ The words came out as a snarl.

  ‘Oh,’ Martine said. ‘Sounds like she deserved it.’

  I looked over at Nick and nudged him. ‘So,’ I said, ‘where’d you learn to dance like that?’

  ‘Like what?’ He crossed his arms and looked out his window.

  ‘Like a Dancing Queen.’ I giggled.

  Martine pulled into her car spot and pivoted to look at Nick. ‘You can dance?’

  He shrugged. ‘You don’t grow up the way I did without learning some moves.’

  I started to laugh as I waved my hands in the air. ‘Look at me, look at me.’ I laughed some more. ‘You weren’t lying when you said spirits are your rocket fuel.’

  ‘That,’ he pushed his door open and jumped out, ‘was all an act. I was in total control the whole time.’

  ‘Whatever.’ I climbed out after him.

  Martine looked me up and down. ‘I see you lost my wig.’

  ‘Oh.’ My hands flew to my head. ‘I’m so sorry. I’ll get you a new one.’ Martine was passionate about her wigs.

  She shook her head. ‘It’s okay. I would rather lose my wig than you.’ She paused for a second and then pulled a face. ‘To be honest, it’s one I was planning on getting rid of. I thought there was a good chance this might happen. Come on. I’ll make you and Rocket Man a coffee and you can fill me in.’

  Nick stuck his middle finger up over his shoulder as he marched towards the staircase.

  I smiled and followed Martine. My adrenaline had left me in a whoosh and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to leave Candy behind and just be plain old Chanel.

  ***

  ‘I have a few questions,’ Martine said.

  ‘Fire away.’ Nick had taken her single-seater lounge and had his head on one arm and his legs hooked over the other. It looked really comfortable and for the first time ever I was jealous of his diminutive size. It would have been nice to curl up where I was now and fall asleep.

  ‘What’s to stop them going to the cops with this? I mean, they know who Chanel is.’

  ‘They won’t.’ I shook my head. ‘They don’t want anything to do with cops.’

  ‘Besides,’ Nick added. ‘We made idiots of them. They won’t want anybody knowing about it.’

  ‘My guess,’ I said, ‘is that they’ll just think I’m a young, bimbo cop going in on a dare.’

  ‘You hope.’ Martine hopped up and poured herself another coffee.

  ‘Hey,’ I said. ‘What happened to the green tea?’

  ‘Have you tried that stuff?’ She shuddered.

  ‘There’s a reason there was still a whole box of it in my pantry.’ I yawned and stretched my arms above my head. ‘Bed time.’ I pulled myself upright. ‘Got to work tomorrow.’

  ‘You mean today,’ Nick said. ‘You’ve got to work today.’

  I looked at the clock. It was two-thirty.

  Martine hopped up and unlocked the door, ‘You be careful. Make sure you deadbolt the door.’

  ‘Yes, Mum,’ Nick grumbled as he followed me out the door.

  I turned to him as we walked down the stairs. ‘You sure that stuff won’t hurt Billy?’

  Nick rolled his eyes. ‘If I told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times. He’ll be asleep for an hour, two tops.’

  ‘Exactly where did you get that stuff from?’

  ‘I rang Mum. She couriered me some overnight.’

  I could feel my mouth open. I mean I knew that Nick’s mother was a dwarf in the circus, I just didn’t realise she was still in the circus. Or that they still talked.

  I mean I didn’t know why they wouldn’t, apart from the fact he had told me she hadn’t thought he should leave. I guess I had assumed they were no longer in communication. It made me realise there was a lot I didn’t know about my little friend.

  I unlocked the door and let him in before me. I missed Cocoa’s normal flying welcome, but it had been better for him to spend the night at Bruce’s. I hadn’t been one h
undred percent sure we would be home at all, and I knew we wouldn’t be early.

  I brushed my teeth and climbed onto the couch, pulling the doona up over me. Scenes from the night flashed through my mind, but already it seemed surreal, like it had happened to somebody else.

  I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew it was morning and time to get ready for work.

  7

  Rocket Man

  ‘Are you sick?’ Bob peered at me when I walked into the office.

  ‘Tired,’ I said. ‘Didn’t get much sleep.’

  Mark let out a chuckle and I half expected him to pull the sheet of paper out from the bottom drawer, but Bob had told me they’d gotten rid of it. Apparently it was no fun once I started playing.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Nathan said as I pushed open the door to the change room. ‘She doesn’t have that glow about her.’

  I missed the rest of the debate. Not that I cared. I was too tired and despondent. I had woken in a panic that Billy was dead, and Nick had not responded well to being woken up and asked, yet again, if he was sure Billy would be all right.

  It was going to be a long shift today before I got to go home and sleep.

  I put my bag in my locker and pulled out my vest. My phone burbled announcing a text. It was Mum.

  Don’t forget about the award ceremony next Friday.

  I typed – How could I possibly forget when you keep reminding me? – thought better of it and replaced it with – Of course not. I’m very excited.

  Her – No need to be sarcastic– came back in record time.

  I sighed and sat down on the bench. Not being sarcastic. Genuinely excited. My mother is a hero.

  Will Billy be there?

  I sighed again. Probably not. Can I bring Nick?

  Little Nicky?????

  Yes

  Of course. Bring him over for dinner on Thursday.

  Can’t. Night shift.

  ‘Chanel.’ Bob banged on the door. ‘You all right?’

  ‘Huh?’ I started up from where I had fallen asleep against the wall. My phone had fallen from my listless fingers to the floor and I hadn’t even heard it.

  I picked it up and stared at the screen. I’d been in there for twenty minutes.

  ‘Coming,’ I yelled.

  ‘We got cinnamon scrolls,’ he said. ‘They’re warm.’

  I justified my need for sugar to stay awake as my excuse to have a second cinnamon scroll. And I did feel better once the caffeine and sugar hit my blood stream.

  ‘Chanel.’ Trent stuck his head into the back office.

  ‘Yes.’ I sat up straighter and wiped the cinnamon sugar off my face with the back of my hand.

  ‘May I please see you in the office?’

  Uh Oh. That wasn’t good. I’d been sure Carlos would want my little visit last night kept a secret.

  I sweated bullets on the ten metre walk to Trent’s door. What would he do? I mean he couldn’t prove it was me. But what about Nick’s illegal use of the elephant tranquilliser? If he found out about that we were both in deep poo poo.

  I would deny everything. It was the only safe thing to do. If I let anything slip he would be through the cracks in my story like water through a hole in a dam.

  He had his back to me as I crept into his office. I wondered if I should take a seat or not. If I did it might make him angrier. But if I didn’t it would be a huge admission of guilt.

  ‘Which do you prefer?’ he asked.

  ‘Pardon?’

  He turned to face me. ‘Which one do you prefer?’ He held up two ties.

  ‘Ummmm.’ I scuttled over closer to him so I could see the fabric better. ‘What is it for?’

  ‘I’m taking Gloria out to dinner tomorrow night.’

  I peered at the navy-blue, pin striped suit hanging on the hat stand. ‘That one.’ I pointed at the red tie with small navy polka dots.

  ‘You sure?’

  ‘Absolutely. The other,’ I waved my hand at the black and green one, ‘is all wrong.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He broke out into a broad smile.

  ‘Ummmm. Was that it?’ I took a step backwards.

  ‘Do you think it’s too soon for flowers?’

  ‘What sort?’

  ‘Roses?’

  ‘Perhaps. I mean I haven’t seen the two of you together. Is this a special occasion?’

  ‘It’s her birthday.’

  ‘Well, it depends what you want to say with the flowers. If it’s just Happy Birthday, get a mixed floral bunch. If it’s I Love You, get roses.’

  His eyes took on a slightly wild look when I said I love you, so I was guessing Gloria would be getting the mixed floral bunch. It had only been a couple of weeks so I wasn’t that surprised.

  ‘Are you getting her a present as well?’

  ‘Do you think I should?’

  I took a seat and drummed my fingers on his desk while I thought about it. ‘Maybe something small.’

  ‘Like jewellery?’ He took his seat on the other side of the table.

  I laughed. ‘I don’t mean size. I mean more like a token. You’re splashing out on dinner, getting her flowers. Perhaps a bottle of champagne or some chocolates. Oh, and a nice card. Cards mean a lot to women. Make sure you write something personal on it.’

  He scratched frantically at his diary with his pen.

  ‘Was that it?’ I pushed back from the table.

  ‘Yes? Why? Is there something I should know?’ He put his pen down and stared at me.

  ‘No.’ I shook my head a little too fast and his eyes narrowed.

  ‘You do remember that conversation we had, don’t you?’

  ‘The one about you getting Gloria chocolates?’ I smiled at him as I stood up.

  He sighed and leaned back in his chair. ‘Just stay safe,’ he said. ‘I would hate to see you get hurt.’

  This time my smile was genuine. ‘Of course.’ I walked back to his door. ‘Trent?’

  ‘Yes?’ He looked up from his list.

  ‘Do you enjoy this?’ I waved my arm around the office. ‘Or would you prefer to still be working as a detective?’

  He paused for a moment, thinking carefully about his answer. ‘It’s not really an either or,’ he finally said. ‘I loved what I did, but I always knew it wouldn’t be forever. I’m a career cop. That means I need to climb the ladder, which means this.’ He tapped his desk.

  I nodded. Someone else with a life plan.

  Bob was waiting in the doorway to the back office, another cinnamon scroll in his hand. He looked at me with his eyebrows raised and I gave him a distracted nod.

  I had family. I had friends. I had love. That should have been enough. But something had changed inside of me, and now, I found the life I’d had that had been enough, seemed small in comparison.

  I felt like a blind person, able to see for the very first time, and what I saw was a big, wide world with unlimited possibilities. I didn’t want to just drift through it and realise at the end that I hadn’t made the most of it. I wanted to plan it and execute it and live the most fulfilling life I could.

  The only problem was, I just didn’t know what I wanted to do.

  ***

  ‘Dental nurse?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘Vet?’

  ‘Nope.’

  ‘Racing car driver.’

  I threw a piece of popcorn at Nick. ‘Be serious.’

  ‘I am being serious and don’t call me Shirley.’

  I laughed. ‘What does that even mean?’

  He reached into his own popcorn bowl and returned fire. ‘Surely you can’t be serious?’ he said in a high-pitched voice. ‘I am serious,’ his voice moved an octave lower, ‘and don’t call me Shirley.’

  The popcorn bounced off my face and landed on the floor where Cocoa waited like a shark near a fishing trawler. He snarfed down the popcorn and then sat back up, his eyes glued to my popcorn bowl.

  ‘Well, I’m all out of ideas,’ Nick said. ‘You sure you don�
��t just want to be a cop for the rest of your life?’

  I closed my eyes and thought about it. Spending the rest of my life doing what I was doing now? Climbing the political ladder?

  It was the first time I had ever imagined doing any one thing for the rest of my life. I opened my eyes and looked at Nick. ‘Absolutely not,’ I said with total certainty.

  ‘So why did you become one?’

  ‘It just kind of happened.’

  He snorted as he picked up a handful of popcorn. Half of it made it into his mouth, some back into the bowl, and the rest rolled onto his chest. ‘How does that sort of thing just kind of happen?’ More of the popcorn escaped his mouth.

  ‘Ummm, well, my boss’s husband was hitting on me and I told him I was joining the police force. It was a small town. Word got around and before I knew it I had joined.’

  He shook his head and threw another piece of popcorn at me. ‘That’s so Chanel.’

  I caught that one and handed it down to Cocoa. I couldn’t be sure it hadn’t been on school excursion inside Nick’s mouth. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘It’s your style. Things happen to you.’

  I paused in the act of picking up some popcorn. ‘I think that’s exactly the problem. Just for once I’d like some major choice in my life to be a conscious decision.’

  ‘What about your previous job?’

  ‘Hairdressing?’ I laughed. ‘As I said, it was a small town, there weren’t many jobs around and my boyfriend’s Mum ran the salon.’ I shrugged. ‘It was a step up from checkout chick.’

  ‘What about Billy?’

  I shivered. There had been absolutely no choice in that. I had been smitten from the moment he’d ridden in on his bike, my heart tied to his with unbreakable threads.

  ‘You know,’ Nick sat up and dusted the popcorn off his chest, ‘this probably isn’t something you can expect to work out in one night. I mean we are talking about a life decision. Stop trying to rush it.’

  Cocoa hoovered the carpet at Nick’s feet and then looked up for more.

  ‘It’s just now that I know,’ I said. ‘I just want to….’

  ‘You’re shooting from the hip trying to stop the pain.’

  ‘Huh?’ I sat up as well.

  He sighed. ‘Look Toots, you’ve identified a major issue in your life and you’re uncomfortable with it. Your response, to try and fill the void, is totally normal. But don’t you think that coming up with something that is going to change the direction of your life requires a little more time than what one crappy chick movie is going to give you?’