PICTURES OF YOU: a gripping psychological suspense thriller

by Diane M Dickson

  “What should I do Judy? Tell me what I should do.”

  “I don’t see that you have a great deal of choice to be frank. I think that you are going to have to speak to him. You’re going to have to ask him to delete it. If you don’t then you will have to accept that it is out there. Of course you could brazen it out, how many people do you know who are likely to see it in reality? Then again if we upset him he could send it to your work. I’m sorry, I don’t want to upset you but all of this is possible and it’s better to acknowledge what you are dealing with rather than think you have it sorted and then one day – boom, it’s all over your screen and people are ringing you up with false sympathy and giggling behind your back.

  “You know he may have taken this and had no real intention of using it for anything other than his own pleasure.” Mary gasped “I know, I know even that’s horrible but it could just be that he liked being with you so much he wanted to be able to sort of remind himself…” Judy stopped, “No, actually thinking about it, that’s grim, if he had asked you that would have been one thing but the fact that you didn’t know about it doesn’t bode well I have to say. Oh dear Mary, none of the options are very appealing are they? You are going to have to tough this out one way or the other. Risk it being seen by people who know you or meet with him and come clean and ask him to delete it.”

  Mary lowered her head into her hands, he had her in a strangle hold, yet again he was impacting on her life in a way she could never have dreamed possible.

  She had no idea at all how to react, her brain was numb.

  Chapter 59

  “Mary, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to go. I’m meeting Steve. Will you be okay do you think? Is there anyone I can call?”

  “No, I’d rather be on my own thanks.”

  “But, look I really don’t want to leave you. It’s no good though trying to make a decision about all of this in a rush. I’m really bummed, I thought we could have got this thing on the way tonight and then by tomorrow the shit would have hit the whirly thing and he would be on the way out of here soon afterwards. Now though, well…” She shrugged her shoulders.

  Mary leaned and took hold of the slender hand. “I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done and you know, you have probably saved me from another horrible experience.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “Well, we don’t know why he wanted that,” she pointed at the screen, “in the first place. The thing is though, with the situation we’ve got now, who knows what he might do. At least now if the worst comes to the worst it won’t be out of the blue.”

  “Yes, I suppose there is that.” With a sigh Judy leaned over and threw her arms around Mary’s shoulders in a warm hug. She collected her bag and stood in front of the settee. “Try not to be too upset, God listen to me, that’s stupid. Of course you’re going to be upset. Look I have lectures in the morning but tomorrow afternoon I’ll come back and in the meantime see if you can come up with some ideas about what you’d like to do. I will call Chloe and tell her that there’s been a delay.”

  Mary walked with her to the door and then locked and bolted it. She unplugged the phone from the wall and, after checking the rest of her security, dragged herself upstairs.

  She pulled a clean, fluffy towel from the airing cupboard and then went through to the bedroom, dragged off her clothes and wrapped herself in a robe. As the hot tap gushed into the tub she poured in bubble bath, turned off the main light and held the lighter to a row of little candles where they stood in glass holders on the shiny ceramic. When the bath was full of fragrant water and the room was a dim cave of dancing golden light she lowered herself into the welcoming warmth. She lay her head back and breathed in the perfumed steam. She had to keep control, had to get this in perspective and then the answer would surely present itself, wouldn’t it?

  In the street outside evening slid into night. A dark figure walked quickly along the pavement. He clung closely to the garden walls and moved swiftly past the street lamps. His head was covered by the hood from his jacket and all that could be seen clearly was the reflective flash on his trainers. As he reached Mary’s driveway he left the clangy gate as it was and threw his long legs over the wall. Once in the garden he strode rapidly across the grass and pushed between the shrubs. He made his way down the side passageway.

  He drew a long screwdriver from his jeans pocket and made short work of opening the back gate. The feeble lock was no match for his strength and determination and in no time he had access to the back garden. He pushed the gate closed behind him and took the few short steps to the kitchen window. The window was closed completely and the little latch had been pushed home but it was old and the bottom rail fitted loosely in the frame. He took care not to make too much noise, though the downstairs of the house was in darkness and so it was safe to assume the lower floors would be unoccupied.

  It took several minutes to push the blade of his tool into the rotting wood but then it was easy to wedge it beneath the catch. He pushed his finger ends into the small gap and heaved, the window slid up with a slight judder. There was a set of garden furniture on the paved patio and he used one of the little chairs to give him the extra height he needed to climb over the sill and access the kitchen.

  He knew this room well. He avoided the kettle and toaster, which stood in their usual places on the work top, as he dropped lightly to the floor. From a hip pocket he drew a tiny mag light and following the bright beam made his way to the hallway. He listened closely. From the upper floors the small sounds of water swishing and the hint of perfume that had permeated the hall and stairs told him that she was probably in the bath. The thought of her soaking in the warm water, possibly with bubbles sliding across her skin, gathering around her breasts and nudging at the small swell of her belly caused his breathing to sharpen. He reached out and laid his hand on the balustrade. He took the first silent step onto the staircase.

  Mary lay in the comfort of her bathtub breathing deeply, dredging up from her memory the breathing exercises she had learned in relaxation classes many years before. She lay in the candlelight, almost dozing.

  Chapter 60

  She felt better, the steam and the warmth and peace had smoothed the tension from knotted muscles and simply lying with eyes closed and letting it all drift away had worked a small miracle. Stepping from the bath she wrapped the fluffy white towel around her. The steam and sudden drop in blood pressure caused her to feel dizzy but it was nice, a pleasant whirliness. She felt relaxed and pampered and yes, almost normal.

  The problems tried to elbow their way back into the front of her mind and she left her consciousness to slide past them. A trick she had learned to deal with such stuff was to simply tell herself ‘later’ and in this rare moment of peace, she did just that, later, I’ll think about it later.

  The landing wouldn’t be cold but after the blissful heat of the bathroom she knew there would be a chill. She drew open the door and set off across the dim space, scuttling in baby steps.

  It was too dark.

  She glanced back, the tiny red glow of light on the electric shower witnessed that there was still power in the house but it was so very dark. The diffuse glow of the street outside through the landing window was the only hint of illumination. Why had she closed the bedroom door? She never did that, even when she slept it was slightly ajar and certainly it should be open now. The yellow glow of the bedside lamp ought to be leading her back. Gripped by confusion and indecision she stood in the middle of the landing trying to remember. Still woozy from her bath and coming down now from the high emotion of earlier, it was difficult to think logically. She shook her head, tried to get herself together.

  She shrugged, for some reason she had closed her bedroom door. No matter. Two more steps were all it took and she reached out and pushed at the white painted wood.

  The light welcomed her as she knew it would. The smell was the first thing that alerted her, even before she stepped through, she knew it immedia
tely, his cologne. It took her breath away; it was a memory surely, a sense of deja vu.

  It wasn’t.

  He was sitting on the bed. As her eyes met his and her mouth opened in a gasp, he raised his hands, palms towards her and braced his legs to stand. “Don’t panic, please Mary, don’t panic. You don’t need to be afraid.”

  Fear wasn’t even close to describing what she felt. The world tipped, colours blurred but she must keep hold. She had to stay conscious, had to save herself. She didn’t speak, couldn’t speak, fear made her dumb. She clung to the towel, tightening it around her goose skin. She held her body upright, though it wanted to crumble to the floor. She denied the urging of her brain which so badly wanted to take her away. She didn’t faint but locked her knees and held his gaze. Each thing a tiny victory, each victory a step back from total meltdown.

  “I just need to speak to you Mary. I’ve tried to call, I left messages, I tried to see you. I want to explain, to apologise. I know it was unforgivable, what I did, I’m so sorry.” He had come to her, she could feel his breath on her face as he leaned nearer, could see the glint in his eye, a tear just a moment away from overflowing. His lips quivered. His hand reached out. His touch was searing, she would scream, she must scream, it was impossible. She snatched breath into her lungs and that was the most that she could accomplish.

  “Come on, sit down. Here, put your dressing gown on.” He opened her wardrobe. The hook was empty, her robe still on the bathroom floor, but how well he knew her, her home, her life. “Oh, wait, wait, I’ll fetch it. You’re shivering, you’re cold.” He pushed past her. Now she could run, but was frozen to the spot. Her legs would not obey the messages from her brain.

  She could hear him in the other room and stood still waiting for whatever would come next.

  Chapter 61

  “Here, here. Oh you poor thing you’re shivering.”

  He draped the fluffy dressing gown across her shoulders and then, stepping round to face her, pulled it across her chest and belly. As he did this he placed his fingers on the towel still clutched with claw-like hands over her damp skin. “This is wet, let me take it.”

  “No, no. Don’t please, Jacob don’t touch me.” The feel of his hands released her from the strange terror driven fugue. “I’m okay.”

  She pulled the robe across tight to her body, the towel was tucked inside and as she tied the belt the heavy, damp cloth fell to the floor. Jacob was still close and she stepped away further into the room. Her heart pounded but the initial fear had dissipated. She swung round to him and looked him in the eye, holding his gaze, “I want you to go now Jacob. I want you to just leave right now.”

  “Mary, Mary,” he reached a hand towards her, “Now, I know you’re upset, and I suppose really I don’t blame you but when you give me a chance to talk to you and explain, you’ll see, you’ll understand.”

  She shook her head vigorously, “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t even want to talk to you. I just want you to leave, please now, go.” Still he didn’t turn but continued to look at her, his head tipped to one side and a half smile playing about his lips.

  “Look, let’s just sit down, let’s have a cup of tea and talk things over. There’s no need for any of this. You’ll see we can sort it out.” He took hold of her arm and tried to pull her with him towards the door. She attempted to shake him off and his grip tightened. The fear was back, the feel of his strong fingers digging into the soft skin of her upper arm was scaring her all over again.

  “Let me go, please just let me go!” The muscles of her face tensed as her mouth tightened, a scream was but a breath away. He shook his head again but he did loosen his grip.

  “Oh Mary, what can I do, how can I make things right?” Her jelly legs could hold her no longer and she collapsed onto the edge of the bed. She clutched at the gown where it had begun to gape at the neck.

  “You can’t make it right Jacob, there’s no way to make it right.”

  “But, I didn’t mean to hurt you, your poor face, you’ve no idea how it hurts me to see that. Oh, you don’t understand, sometimes I just lose it, I know I shouldn’t but it’s like another person takes over and I just can’t help it.” A throb in his voice told her that he too was but a blink away from losing control and the thought of what would happen then terrified her, all that mattered was to get him out of the house.

  “Look Jacob, if you leave right now I’ll let it all go. If you promise not to try and get in touch with me again, and to leave me completely alone I’ll just forget it. I won’t tell anyone what you did and I’ll just try and put it behind me. Okay?”

  “No, no, no. I need you.” He dropped to his knees on the carpet in front of her. His hands reached out to her. She shook him off but was unable to stand. “Please, oh please. You don’t know, you don’t understand what you mean to me. You’re the first person who ever treated me like you do. I never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. Please Mary, let’s try again.”

  He had shuffled now towards her and had his arms laid across the bed either side of her quivering thighs. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t turn me away. Not you, not you Lovely Lady. I thought you were different, not like all the other women. Nobody has ever looked at me the way that you did, nobody made me feel the way that you did. Please.”

  She tried to shuffle backwards away from him but he held her, his hands curled around her bottom and to her horror he lowered his head onto her lap and sobbed onto her towelling-covered legs.

  From somewhere deep inside came the impulse to reach out and to stroke his soft hair, to murmur words of comfort. His tears, the sound of him sobbing, unleashed in her an instinct that was womanly and loving. Female intuition and motherly emotions moved her in a way that she wouldn’t have believed possible.

  She stretched her fingers and laid her hand across his crown.

  Chapter 62

  The moment stretched into a minute and then two and now that she had placed her hand on his soft hair Mary didn’t know how to remove it. He had sobbed for a while but was now simply kneeling at her feet with his face buried in the fluff of her dressing gown. She was vitally aware of nerve endings feeding back messages to her brain. His arms were warm where they touched her thighs and strong hands, curled around her behind, heated her skin through the thick fabric.

  Her lungs felt to have shrunk to half their size and it seemed incredible that the tiny little gasps she took were dragging in enough oxygen to feed her body’s needs. It was not a beautiful moment. She was not swept with feelings of forgiveness and affection, but just wanted it to be over. Panic built, she needed to act and throw him aside, needed him gone and didn’t know how to accomplish it.

  She drew back her hand and then bracing both beside her on the bed tried to push forward and to stand. As Jacob felt her moving he raised his head.

  “I need to get up Jacob, I need to dry my hair. Give me some space.” Now he threw up his hands and shuffled backwards.

  “Okay, okay. But we’re going to have a talk then and I’m going downstairs to put the kettle on. Or perhaps you’d prefer wine, brandy – you choose.” He smiled at her then and the relaxed friendliness frightened her anew. It seemed he had simply put aside the problems, the beating he had given her and all the worry and stress of the last days. He was behaving as though nothing had happened.

  She must be strong.

  “No, Jacob I don’t want to have a drink with you. I don’t want a cup of tea. I want you to go away. I don’t want you to be here in my house.”

  “Oh, now, come on that’s just silly.”

  “No, it’s not silly it’s what I want. I don’t think I can trust you anymore and I don’t want to be with you.”

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake. That is such an overreaction you silly girl. Okay, I made a mistake but it was nothing and I promise you that I won’t do it again but you know it was partly your fault.”

  “What!” Shock screwed her voice into a screech and as the sound left her throat sh
e saw him flinch and then incredibly his face transformed into a smile.

  “Oh, now see. You’re getting yourself all upset and really there is no need.”

  “But, how dare you? How can you suggest it was my fault, what the hell do you mean?”

  He tipped his head to one side and raised his eyebrows. “Well, okay if I really have to explain it to you.” He sighed. “You let me down Mary. You really did. I thought that what we had was special, I thought you had genuine feelings for me and I thought that I could trust you.”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

  He snorted, “This isn’t helping now. You know very well. I heard that message from your mother. You’d been gossiping hadn’t you? First you’d been talking about me with your friend Jane and then with your mother. Tell me, did you get a buzz out of it, did you have a good giggle?”

  The change in tone was small, almost imperceptible but with her instincts in hyper drive Mary picked it up immediately and a cold chill ran down her back.

  “Please go Jacob, really there’s no point to any of this. It’s over and I want you to go.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so. No, do you think that I have no say here, do you think that you get to call the tune all the time? I really thought you were different, but look at you stood there now telling me what to do. Why is it you women think that you can do this? You think you can pick me up and get what you want, oh yes, you weren’t like this when you were gagging for it were you – no. You didn’t tell me to leave you alone while we were rolling about on the mattress next door. I really thought you might be different but turns out you’re just like all the others.” He hissed now through his teeth and grabbed out at her arms. She tried to back away but was still too close to the bed and fell backwards across the mattress.

  Now he leaned over her, “Is that what I was to you eh, is it – was I just a good screw, just a toy boy, a bit of a fling?”