And right then, I knew I had to remember I’d run into Christopher here, too, six months ago, the first time I’d come back to Phoenix. That not all the shit that’d happened here was bad. Maybe, like Aly had said, that meeting was supposed to happen and this little bar hadn’t just been some random place I pulled into.
I had to believe she was supposed to happen.
Aly leaned into me, and I sighed and dropped my forehead to hers. “No, baby, I’m good. Let’s get you some dinner, pay those dues we owe your brother, then we’ll go home.”
I tugged a little at the tuft of wound-up hair.
Relief mellowed the concern that had clouded her eyes. “You sure?”
“Yeah. I could use a beer and a burger myself.”
She searched my face again, before she let whatever was worrying her go. Because she could see I’d let my worry go, too.
She smiled and laced her fingers in mine.
“Well, since I can’t have a beer, I’m going to have a double burger.” She raised a teasing brow, and I chuckled and tugged her around to my front.
I dropped a soft kiss to the top of her head. “A double burger it is, baby.”
We headed deeper into the darkened bar. The place was packed, the noise level high. Busier than I’d ever seen it. Dim lights from above cast a faint glow over the crowded room. Televisions flickered from where they were hung high on the walls, subtitles playing along the bottom while music blared from the speakers.
We shoved through, making our way over to where Cash and his new girl waited for us in a large, horseshoe booth.
Christopher slid into the free side first and around to the inside. Aly scooted down beside him, sitting directly across from Cash and the little dark-haired girl tacked onto his side. On a heavy exhale, I sat down beside Aly, didn’t give it a second’s thought when I immediately draped my arm over her shoulder.
All right, so maybe a second’s thought, because I was feeling some kind of fucking pride or some shit, sitting next to her like that.
A contented sigh seeped from her, and she resituated herself to rest her head in the crook of my neck.
Joy pushed at my chest.
“How’s it goin’, old man?” Christopher tossed out, grinning at Cash.
“Don’t even start. I’m only three months older than your lame ass.” He wagged his brow and pulled his girlfriend closer. “Besides, what’s that they say, men only get better with age?”
Aly rolled playful eyes. “Seriously, Cash, that only applies to men… not boys pretending to be men. Ask us again when you turn forty-three.”
Christopher cackled and high-fived Aly. “That’s my girl.”
“You two suck,” Cash said, laughing as he got more comfortable in his seat.
I’d only met Cash once when he’d stopped by the apartment during the summer. He was cool enough, a whole lot like Christopher, indifferent, approaching life with outright apathy.
Which I guess was why it surprised me when he introduced us to Fiona. She was tiny. Prim and straitlaced. She waved to us with a shy hand and a blushing face as she burrowed further into Cash’s side with just the mention of her name. I could only imagine she was feeling completely out of place and unprepared for Cash and Christopher.
I doubted few people could be prepared for the two of them.
And I suppose I was even harder to take.
A waitress stopped at our table, introduced herself as Holly, and took our drink order. In just a few minutes she was back with a bottle of water for Aly and a round of beers for the rest of us.
Christopher raised his bottle. “To Cash. Happy birthday, man.”
A chorus of happy birthdays went up and we raised our bottles. Glass clinked as we tapped the bottlenecks where they all met in the middle of the table. Aly shot me a knowing look when she stretched out to tap her plastic bottle against everyone’s beers.
Easy conversation struck up between all of us. Christopher and Cash led it, their voices boisterous and loud, while Aly and I laughed, adding to it, usually to call the two of them out on their bullshit. We ordered food, set into an easy pace, the five of us seeming to relax in the casual vibe.
With my girl tucked in close to my side, I took a swig of beer. Ice-cold liquid slid down my throat and settled in my stomach. All the tension that had been nagging at me had drifted away.
I felt good.
Really fucking good.
For once, I welcomed it, and for a few minutes, I refused to let guilt taint my joy.
I just wanted to enjoy my girl and the thought of us having a future. A real one. Not some fucked-up existence where I was just wandering aimlessly through the days.
Even Fiona jumped in on the laid-back banter, laughing as she did her best to keep up with the man who seemed completely wrong for her. She was just so quiet and shy, while Cash couldn’t keep his mouth shut for longer than three seconds, the guy larger than life while she seemed content to fade into the shadows.
I glanced down at Aly. She tipped her head up to look at me. Affection shined bright in her eyes. I kissed her forehead.
Guess I had no place making judgment calls like that. I sure as hell didn’t have the first clue about who should be with who, because never in a million years would I have thought that someone as amazing as Aly could be for me.
Our food was served and we ordered another round of drinks.
Aly dove into her burger. She planted her elbows on the table and leaned over her plate, shoving the huge burger into her mouth. She slanted an eye over at me and hummed.
God, she was cute.
Soft amusement pulled at my mouth, and I massaged my fingers into the thick mass of her hair at the base of her neck while she dug into her food.
“Starving,” she mumbled around her burger as an explanation, and I just laughed and dug into mine.
God, maybe it was stupid, but I had the sudden sense that I belonged. Like maybe there was a place for me in this world after all.
I finished my food, pushed my plate away, and tossed my napkin onto it. Lifting my bottle high, I polished off my third beer.
Satisfied.
Cash lifted his beer, downed half of it, and pointed the neck in Aly’s direction. “Are you always going to let your asshole brother talk you into being DD, Aly?”
In the middle of another bite, Aly froze. Then her head snapped up, like she’d been caught in a lie. But she wasn’t looking at Cash. She was looking at me. All kinds of worried questions played out on her sweet face. Like maybe she was asking for some kind of permission, some guidance on how to proceed.
Are you ready for this?
I shrugged because there were few things I worried less about than what some guy like Cash thought about me. What mattered was how she felt about announcing this to world. Especially before we even got to tell her parents.
Now, telling her parents? That I fucking cared about. I was doing just about everything I could not to think about tomorrow. Going back to the old neighborhood, walking through their front door, sitting down at their table. I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. Or if I even could. The rock sitting heavily in the pit of my stomach assured me I wasn’t ready for all that. But Aly had asked me to be there for her and I was sick of letting her down. So since this afternoon, I’d shoved the thought of it down, buried it, refusing to listen to that voice warning me going back would be straight-up disaster. No doubt, dwelling on it would send me into a tailspin, a nosedive that there’d be no recovering from. So I just filed that shit.
Tomorrow was just another fucking day.
Aly swallowed hard and straightened in the booth. She focused on Cash. “Well, truth is, he didn’t have to plead with me all that much. Looks like I’m going to be shoo-in for DD for the next six months or so.” Aly tipped her head to the side, the words sharp with the implication.
With his beer halfway to his mouth, Cash stopped dead. Then his attention volleyed between Christopher and me, waiting for some kind of reaction
from the two of us. Like he was prepping himself to jump across the table to stop the brawl that was about to break out. No question, he knew if this was news to Christopher, dude was not gonna be happy.
What Cash didn’t know was that shit had already gone down months ago. Punches weren’t necessary. They’d already been thrown.
Christopher exhaled, his brow lifting to his hairline like one huge shrug. He had nothing more to say about it.
Cash looked back at Aly. “No shit, baby girl,” he muttered below his breath. “That is… crazy,” he seemed to settle on. I got the distinct impression Cash cared more than he’d ever let on, and he was feeling a wave of protectiveness rise up in him over my girl. “You okay with all this? This seems kind of sudden.”
He cast me a furtive glance packed with speculation.
As if I wasn’t going to notice.
Couldn’t blame him, though. I mean, fuck, I left her. For three months. Showed up on her doorstep last night, ready to grovel, to beg her to take me back. When she did, I’d pretty much just held her for all of the night because the thought of letting her go left me physically ill. Truth was, I really hadn’t even talked with her about how she felt about the pregnancy. How she really felt about it. If she was happy or scared or fucking mad.
But something inside me knew I didn’t need her to vocalize it. She’d already spoken it all in her eyes. In the awe that had shimmered, in the anticipation that had burned so bright.
There was no mistaking the affection caught in the soft sigh that had parted her lips when I’d kissed her there, right below her belly button, over the place that harbored the thing that terrified me most.
Aly reached for me. Her short nails dug into the back of my hand as she squeezed, searching for reassurance. Or maybe she was giving it to me. Then she turned back to Cash.
“Honestly? I’ve had a rough couple of months.” Helpless, she shrugged, like the right words were impossible to find. She grimaced as she worked through her thoughts. “I was shocked. Scared. Sad,” she admitted quietly. “I didn’t expect this… at all.”
She glanced over at me. One side of her mouth curved with a small, genuine smile. It was something that should be so insignificant. Still, it twisted me all up inside.
She angled that smile on Cash, her voice soft with the same devotion I witnessed in her last night. “But I can’t imagine a greater honor than being a mother… bringing a life into this world.” She paused, blinked as she settled a tentative hand on her stomach. “I just want to be worthy of it. To love and raise this baby the way it deserves.”
Aly knocked the breath from my lungs.
Unworthy?
It was me who was unworthy.
My fingers found the back of her neck, and I nudged her to face me. I dropped my forehead to hers and cupped her cheek. A surprised breath rushed all over my face, her nose touching mine. I didn’t give a second’s fuck that three sets of prying eyes burned into the side of my face.
The words came out harsh, low, desperate. “Don’t you dare think for a second you could be unworthy of this, Aly. There’s no chance you’re not going to be a good mother. Not one. Do you understand me?”
Aly pulled back a fraction, and my free hand went to the other side of her face. I sat there holding her. Aly’s cheeks flamed under my palms, searing where they burned into my skin.
An image of my own mother’s face flashed, pressing into my consciousness. Pure and devastating, the perfection of her face. Soft. Compassionate. Filled with all the love Aly was hoping for. She’d been a good mother. The best.
God, she’d been the best.
And I wondered if she’d ever felt like this. Scared. Unsure. Not knowing what the future held.
I swallowed around the emotion wedged in my throat. Aly was going to love like her. “This is going to be the luckiest kid in the world, Aly, just because it gets to call you Mom.”
Aly nodded against my head, her hands coming up to cover mine. I leaned down and pressed my mouth to hers.
Wound myself one notch tighter, climbed one rung higher.
I pulled away and squeezed her a little before I reluctantly let her go.
Christopher was looking at me like he didn’t recognize who I was.
Which shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise because I sure as hell didn’t recognize myself. Not around Aly.
She unlocked something in me I didn’t know I had. Revealed it.
Or maybe she created it. Same way this girl had been created for me.
Cash and Fiona were wrapped up in each other, smiling across at us.
I just let my head drop back to Aly’s again, wishing we were alone so I could show her exactly what she made me feel.
Christopher slammed his empty down on the table. Smacking his lips, he blew out an exaggerated sigh. “All right, enough of this sappy shit.” He pointed an accusatory finger around the table. “You all do realize I’m sitting here, right? I mean, don’t worry about the single guy, or anything.”
Aly laughed, leaning back in the booth so she could see Christopher. “Ha… like that’s anyone’s fault here but your own.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, here we go again.” His smile was soft on my girl; then he shifted his eyes to me. “I do believe it’s time I kicked your boy’s ass here in pool, though.”
A low chuckle rumbled from my chest. “Pretty sure of yourself there, my friend.”
“That I am.” Christopher smirked and gestured with his chin for us to get up. I climbed from the booth and extended my hand to Aly. “Come here, baby.”
Aly slid that gorgeous body out from under the booth. She was so fucking tall in those shoes, so damned sexy I didn’t know how to stop the clash of thoughts that clattered through my brain. Because one second I was picturing her as this sweet mom and the next I was picturing her sweating under me.
Aly looked at me from under those long dark lashes, and bit her lip to contain her blush, like she’d just witnessed the salacious scene I’d just fantasized playing like a reel in my eyes.
She tipped up her chin and stepped closer to kiss me in a way that wasn’t exactly proper for a public place. Not that I minded all that much.
I groaned and mumbled the words at her mouth, “You are too much.”
“And I will never get enough,” she whispered back.
“I’m holding you to that when we get home.”
She bumped me with her front. “You’d better,” she taunted a little more.
Desire barreled through my veins.
Motherfucking trigger.
Because this girl really was too much, sent my senses spiraling, left me unsure how to deal with the things she made me feel. Like I wanted to hug her until she couldn’t breathe. Protect her so she always would. Love her until she couldn’t see.
“And again… right here, assholes.” With his finger, Christopher drew a big circle over his head, feigning offense as he climbed to standing behind us. But there was no denying what lit in his expression, everything about it declaring how happy it made him that his sister was happy.
Emotion fluttered through my chest like a riot of birds.
I had to admit I’d made her that way, at least on some level.
And that shit scared me.
“Come on, let’s go grab a table.” Christopher wove through the crowd, Cash and Fiona right behind him. I smiled down at Aly, wrapped her hand back up in mine, and placed a quick kiss to the back of her hand.
I zigzagged us through the throng, sweaty bodies pressed in on all sides. People laughed and talked too loud, fighting to lift their voices above the noise. I squeezed Aly’s hand, just making sure she was fine. She squeezed it back.
I couldn’t help but grin at the little secret conversation we were sharing, like it was just the two of us against the fucking world.
We ducked under an archway into the separate room tucked back at the far end of the bar. Five worn pool tables sat beneath dim lights that hung from the ceiling. A haze thickened the
dingy air like a city storm hanging on the ceiling, the faces gathered around the tables little more than silhouettes in the muted glow.
We all stood along the far wall, chatting while we waited for a table to free up.
A waitress came in and we ordered another round of drinks. By the time she returned, a group was finishing their game and gestured for us to take their spot.
Come to Me Softly Page 7