“No. I don’t think you possibly can when nobody else has. Not even Jack or my grandfather truly get it.” She blew out a breath. “Billy and I are joined together for all eternity in an awful mess of my creation. It splintered our love for each other while forging a bond that stops us from ever escaping what happened. He hates me for it, and rightly so, while I…I will always feel as though I stole from him.”
“I’m sure you’re being too hard on yourself, Sarah. Knowing you—”
“You only know one side of me just as I only know one side of you – the faces we let each other see.”
“So you still love him?” he asked, not taking the bait she’d just thrown his way.
With a sigh, she slumped back against her seat. “Love is such a broad concept, Pierce. I don’t love who Billy became, but I will always love him for who he once was. Does that make sense?”
“I think so.”
“And while I can no longer stand to be in the same room as him, I do wish him the best.”
“Even though he hurt you?”
Her lips parted with the intention of denying the claim, but then she caught herself and chose to say, “I hurt him too.” She opened the door then, and Pierce let her go. Dredging up the past would do nothing but lower Pierce’s opinion of her. And she selfishly wanted to have just one person in her life who didn’t know the details of that awful day when everything had fallen apart.
Chapter Eight
When the temperature finally rose above freezing a few weeks later, Pierce watched a parade of vehicles drive onto his property. He hadn’t seen much of Sarah since their unfortunate night out at The Pit, and as time went on, he began to suspect she was deliberately avoiding him. So he’d kept his distance even though he hadn’t been able to stop himself from wondering about her previous relationship. The crazed look in Billy’s eyes had struck a chord, while the things he’d said… It was clear he hated Sarah a great deal, and although she’d claimed responsibility for whatever had happened between them, Pierce had his doubts.
Spotting her car, he waited until she’d parked before heading toward it, arriving just as Thomas stepped out. “Pierce!” The old man’s teeth sparkled in the brilliant sunshine. The smile made his eyes crinkle at the corners. “It’s a big day today. Are you ready to get to work?”
Pierce answered in the affirmative and turned to greet Sarah. “Good to see you both. It’s been a while.”
She cast a fleeting glance in his direction before looking elsewhere. “We’ve been busy.” Shifting, she crossed her arms, then uncrossed them again and shoved her hands into her pockets. “I’ll go ask the guys to come over and introduce themselves.” Her boots crunched against the mixture of old snow and newly revealed gravel as she strode away.
“What the hell happened between the two of you?” Thomas asked.
Pierce started at the sound of his voice. “Nothing,” he muttered.
“Really? And I’m supposed to believe that?” The old man’s eyebrows drew together, producing an almost continuous line of gray tufts. “I like you, Pierce, but Sarah hasn’t been the same since you brought her home from your night out, and I’d like to know why.”
Breaking eye contact, Pierce watched as Sarah spoke to three men a short distance away, immediately recognizing one of them as her brother, Jack. Her posture seemed more relaxed now, which for some reason bothered Pierce immensely. “I didn’t say or do anything to upset her, if that’s what you’re asking,” he told Thomas. “We ran into Billy though, and—”
“Jesus!” Thomas bore an expression of utter shock. “She didn’t tell me.”
Pierce blinked. He hadn’t expected that. “Really?”
Thomas nodded. “That explains everything, including her attitude toward you.”
“You think she’s embarrassed?” He’d suspected as much.
“Look, I know you’ve suffered through some terrible incident yourself before coming here.” When Pierce began to protest, Thomas said, “I could see it in your eyes when we first met. I still can to some extent.”
“What’s your point?” Pierce asked. He could feel his muscles straining across his back, taut from the effort of keeping the floodgates shut.
“You’re not alone, is all.” Thomas gave a quick glance in Sarah’s direction. “We all have sorrows, pain, and heartache to overcome. As I’m sure you know, it can be difficult to talk about, much less share when sharing involves breaking open wounds that have long since begun to close.”
“Mine still feel raw,” Pierce murmured, admitting more than he’d ever planned to. “No better today than when I moved up here. I…” His voice faltered, so he just shook his head, unable to get any more words past the knot in his throat.
“You thought running away would help?” Thomas waited until Pierce nodded before saying, “It never goes away, you know, but it does get easier to deal with. Especially, if you have people in your life who care about you – people you can talk to. Talking is important. It’s the best therapy there is.”
Grimacing, Pierce couldn’t help but say, “Seems to me you should offer that speech to your granddaughter.” He immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by that.”
Thomas shrugged. “She may not have mentioned her recent run-in with Billy, but she has spoken to me about everything else that happened between them. I think she feels lighter as a result, even if her run-in with him might have stirred some unpleasant memories back to life.”
It made sense of course. It just wasn’t as easy as Thomas implied. “I—”
“Pierce.” He turned in response to Sarah’s voice speaking his name. “I’d like you to meet Peter and Klaus.” The introductions were made, during which Pierce discovered that Peter specialized in leveling ground and providing easy access to difficult areas, while Klaus’s background as a mechanic made him the hands-on guy everyone turned to if a piece of machinery required fixing. He was also the only one allowed to operate the trommel. “And then there’s Jack, who you already know,” Sarah added. She still wasn’t looking Pierce straight in the eye.
“Hey, man,” Jack said, shaking Pierce’s hand and giving him a slap on the back. “How about if I tell you a bit more about this operation of ours and how we’re planning to handle it?”
“Sounds good to me,” Pierce said, even though he’d hoped to have a word with Sarah first. Somehow they’d have to get past the awkwardness between them. Especially if they were going to be working together each day for the next few months.
“Come on then,” Jack said. “I’ll start by showing you our excavators. Ever use one before?”
“No,” Pierce confessed, just as he’d done to Sarah.
“Don’t worry about it. You’ll get the hang of it quickly enough.” And with that, Jack led Pierce away from the others and proceeded to spend the next two hours looping Pierce in on their mining operation and how they intended to tackle the ridge.
When they were done, Jack showed Pierce how to operate one of the excavators and where to start digging, leveling an area that would offer better access and easy movement for the entire team. Occasionally, Pierce spotted Sarah walking about with Thomas, but not once did she look his way. It was as if she’d chosen to ignore him completely – a prospect that grated.
A sudden tap sounded on his cabin window, and Pierce glanced sideways to find Jack holding up a thermos. He jumped back, allowing Pierce to open the door. “Time for lunch,” Jack said. He nodded toward the front of the excavator. “Looks like you’re getting the hang of this.”
“It’s not as hard as I’d thought it would be,” Pierce said as he stepped down to join his friend. They began walking toward the mobile shelter that Peter and Klaus had erected. It was simple, containing only a work table, a few chairs, and some basic office supplies. Stepping inside, Pierce saw that Sarah and Thomas were already there. “How’s it going?” he asked. Pulling out a chair across from them, he sat.
“Okay,” was all he got from Sarah
. She immediately broke eye contact, giving all her attention to the sandwich she was eating.
Thomas, on the other hand, raised his chin. “I would say better than okay. We’ve broken ground and are on the right track without any hint of that other crew you sold rights to wanting to encroach. They said something about us being mad to even consider the ridge, but we’ll show them, won’t we, lads?”
Jack voiced a hearty, “Hell yeah!” to which Pierce simply nodded. He couldn’t help but notice Sarah was frowning, her eyes downcast as if in deep contemplation. Deciding to break whatever it was that had come between them, Pierce addressed her directly by saying, “Hey, Sarah. I managed to dig out some more DVD’s. Maybe you’d like to stop by later, see if you want to borrow any of them?”
She responded with a thin smile. “Thanks.” Getting up, she began wrapping up her food. “I’ll definitely think about it,” she said right before stepping back outside and closing the door behind her.
Taking a deep breath, Sarah strode away from the shelter and from the first man with whom she’d felt a genuine connection in what seemed like forever, her thoughts and emotions a massive mess of uncertainty. He’d met Billy – had been confronted by him – but had no clue as to what exactly had caused the rift between him and Sarah. Going down that road and explaining it all would not be easy. In fact, it was going to be both terrifying and painful. She knew this because just the little bit she’d shared about that part of her life had made her heart hurt. She quickened her pace. Somewhere along the line, Pierce’s opinion had begun to matter. Much more than she cared to admit, and for reasons she certainly didn’t feel ready to contemplate. Confessing her greatest mistake to him and facing his censure wasn’t something she looked forward to. Quite the opposite.
The worst part was that she sensed his curiosity whenever he looked her way, which meant he would eventually ask more questions, which was why she desperately wanted to avoid being alone with him. So she headed toward the part of the plot where the ground dropped sharply toward the river below. She’d walked out there with her grandfather earlier in the day so they could assess it properly, deciding that digging down to create gradual platforms would be the safest and easiest way to go.
Standing there, just a couple of feet from the edge, she felt the vast expanse of nature open up before her like a beckoning call to her soul. It was so incredibly stunning, the way the landscape rose and fell around them and how the river below wound a path between the mountains.
“Sarah.”
The sound of her name made her turn, and she felt her feet starting to sink beneath her. Oh God! Her heart leapt and so did she, jumping forward while the ground crumbled and carried her downward. A scream was wrenched from her throat as she reached out, hoping to catch the edge. Only air met the tips of her fingers, and then the firm grip of a hand around her wrist, holding her steadily over the abyss.
“I’ve got you,” Pierce yelled. In spite of that assurance, Sarah’s eyes stung, and her stomach collapsed with fear while she tried to gain a foothold. “Stop struggling. You’re making this harder for me.” Other voices sounded, among them her brother’s.
“Help me,” she whispered, her throat closing against the tears. “Please help me.” If anyone heard her, they didn’t answer. Instead, she felt another hand gripping the waistline of her jeans and hauling her upward. Instinctively, she looked down and screamed at the sight of the river below and the knowledge that if she fell, she’d be dead within seconds.
“Give me your other hand,” Pierce yelled.
She reached for him while her heart pounded against her ribs. She caught his wrists and held on so hard, she feared she might pull him toward her instead of the other way round. “You should let me go,” she found herself saying, not wanting his blood on her hands.
“Not a chance. Now start climbing over me,” he ordered. He was lying on his stomach, Sarah realized, allowing her to grab hold of his back and drag herself up while her brother pulled on her waistband and someone else reached under her arms.
Determined now, she clawed forward, breathing hard as she clasped onto Pierce’s jacket with rigid fingers. Her feet could find no support, swinging aimlessly as she inched her way up until her upper body finally came to rest against Pierce’s back. Rough hands grabbed her more securely, pulling her by the arms until she was completely back on solid ground and a safe distance from the edge.
“Let’s get away from here,” Jack said as soon as she was able to stand. Tears streamed down her cheeks while her body shook with the knowledge that she could be dead right now if Pierce hadn’t grabbed her.
“Thank you,” she croaked when he fell into step beside her.
He didn’t answer, and when she looked up at him, she saw that he probably couldn’t, his face a mask of unmistakable grief and anxiety. It wasn’t until they were back at the shelter and had told Thomas about the incident that Pierce said, “That cannot happen again.” He looked at Thomas with flint in his eyes. “Nobody goes out there until we’re sure it’s safe, because if the ground can’t hold Sarah, it sure as hell can’t hold an excavator.”
Her grandfather’s eyes darkened with worry. He’d already hugged her to him and looked her over to ensure she was still in one piece. “I’ll call a land inspector tomorrow and find out exactly what the situation is.”
Pierce nodded. He then turned to Sarah. “Right now, you’re coming back to the cabin with me so you can calm your nerves a bit.”
“But—”
“Don’t argue,” he told her sharply. Crossing to the door, he held it open for her with such rigidity he looked on the verge of snapping.
With a quick glance in her grandfather’s direction, Sarah followed Pierce, unsure of what he was thinking or what he was planning to say next.
As it turned out, he didn’t utter another word until they reached his home and stepped inside, the door slamming shut behind them. “Jesus,” Pierce muttered. His arms came around her in the next instant, making her flinch. She hadn’t expected this, the feel of his chest rising and falling against her own while his hands pressed her to him, bathing her in his warmth, his strength, and the scent of his spicy cologne.
Inhaling a shuddering breath, Sarah let herself be held, thankful for the comfort and the safety he represented, while doing her best not to contemplate other reasons for not wanting to let him go.
Too soon, he pulled back, releasing her into the void. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I just…” He looked away, cleared his throat, and crossed his arms.
“You saved my life,” Sarah whispered, her body still trembling from the shock of it. “Thank you.”
His eyes met hers again, shimmering with the wetness of unshed tears. With a fierce nod, he turned toward the living room. “I think some whiskey might be in order.”
“Pierce…” She followed him over to a cabinet where a variety of bottles and glasses stood waiting. “I owe you an apology.” Filling two glasses, he raised an eyebrow but said nothing in response to her comment. Instead, he handed her one of the drinks and gestured toward the couch. She sat down without hesitation. “Running into Billy that night…” she continued, “it was so unexpected and…” Taking a sip of her drink, Sarah wondered how to explain – how to make Pierce understand her reaction. “Unlike most people in these parts, you don’t know the story about him and me, and I…I liked that. I liked the fact that we were able to hang out without my past getting in the way.” Closing her eyes for a second, she decided to be as honest as possible. “I was embarrassed by what you saw that night, and I was afraid it would make you see me in a negative light.”
When Pierce didn’t answer, Sarah chanced a look in his direction, surprised to see that his mouth was set in a grim line while the unshed tears from earlier pooled against his lower lashes.
“I caught a glimpse of something you’d hoped to hide.” When she nodded, he added, “You and I have more in common than I thought.”
“What do you mean?”
<
br /> “I came here with a purpose – to try and put my life back together and to realize my wife’s dream.”
Sarah slumped back and stared at him. “Your wife?” She hadn’t anticipated a Mrs. Jackson. Disappointment seemed ridiculous, yet she couldn’t help the emotion from settling deep within her bones.
“Last June, I sat in a hospital chair, holding Caroline’s hand while she exhaled her final breath.” Hunched forward, he clutched the glass between his hands while his gaze remained on the floor before him. “You cannot prepare yourself for how quickly it happens. She was there one second and gone the next.” Shaking his head as though still unable to comprehend it, he finally looked up, the heartache etched upon his face making Sarah’s lips tremble. “Today… My God, Sarah. My chest still hurts just thinking about what might have happened if I hadn’t caught you.”
“But you did.” The words were hushed, ghosting through the air between them, and before Sarah knew it she was crouching on the floor before him, taking the glass from his hands and pulling him into her arms. “I’m so sorry about your wife, Pierce. I didn’t know.” His hand gripped her shoulder, holding on just as she had held on to him a short while earlier.
They remained like that for a while until he finally leaned back, holding her gaze while uncertainty streamed through her. She rose, set her glass on the table, and turned toward the entryway, intent on seeking distance. Whatever was happening between them, it was too soon after what had just occurred and what he’d just said. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to do something stupid and ruin things by trying to kiss him. Which was what she’d been tempted to do.
Only because your life just flashed before your eyes.
No. It wasn’t because of that alone. It was something else entirely – something she would not explore right now because of how much it frightened her.
“Thank you for the drink,” she said as he helped her on with her coat.
“Any time.” Shifting slightly, he eyed her for a second before saying, “I didn’t mean to get all emotional on you, Sarah. I’m sorry about that.”
The Love That Saved Him Page 8