“Don’t be.” She liked that he’d chosen to confide. It had brought them closer – increased their connection. Perhaps it was the drink, perhaps the fact that he’d just saved her life, or maybe it was simply a wish to deepen their connection that prompted her to say, “In fact, I’d like to try and be equally open.”
His eyes widened ever so slightly. “You don’t have to be. I mean, you shouldn’t feel obligated.”
“I know,” she said, allowing a smile. “But this is important.” She sensed it with all that she was – sensed that if she and Pierce were ever going to be true friends, she would have to tell him everything. The thought of such a friendship leading to something more shoved its way to the front of her mind, heating her cheeks. He affected her, no doubt about it, but would she ever affect him? Would he even allow her to? She wasn’t so sure, considering what she now knew about him. And would she feel comfortable with the idea of taking a dead woman’s place? Probably not.
“Why don’t you come over for dinner on Saturday?” Pierce suggested as he grabbed his own jacket and started putting it on. “We’ll talk then. See where things go from there?” Stepping past her, he opened the door for her.
Unable to resist the temptation, she accepted his offer against her better judgment. Pierce was in mourning. What business did she have to continue keeping his company, to allow herself to want something she didn’t even have the courage to admit to herself she wanted?
His arm came around her shoulders as if he felt the need to offer continued support. The strange thing was how right it felt for him to hold her like that. Taking advantage, she leaned against his solid shoulder while he escorted her back to the shelter. Her brother and grandfather were still there, both busy making calls as they tried to figure out how best to deal with the danger the ridge so clearly presented.
Emotionally drained, Pierce ate his dinner in front of the TV that evening even though his mind refused to focus on what he was watching. Instead, he kept seeing Sarah on replay, the ground crumbling beneath her feet and her body starting to fall. His heart made a painful thud at the memory of her lovely face twisting with fear. Not since finding out that Caroline’s illness was terminal had he been as terrified as he’d been that afternoon. The thought of losing Sarah as well… He shook his head, banishing the idea.
Thankfully, she was still alive and well.
Releasing a heavy breath, Pierce took another bite. There was something about her, something that made him want to wrap his arms around her and hold on to her forever. And the way she’d felt as he’d hugged her close… He’d needed the contact, the assurance that she was still there with him. Looking back now, he couldn’t stop himself from recalling how good she’d felt, her softer frame nestled firmly against his while her hair tickled the side of his face.
A travel commercial popped onto the screen at that exact moment, the background song stabbing at his conscience. The Nights by Avicii – Caroline’s favorite.
A slash of guilt drove its way through Pierce’s stomach. She’d been the love of his life, had suffered terribly, and died before her time. And here he was, taking comfort in the arms of another woman while contemplating something…
Deliberately stopping that line of thought, he pushed his food aside, got up, and walked into the bedroom where Caroline’s picture smiled up at him from the bedside table. Picking it up, he looked at her beautiful face while silently giving himself the reprimand he deserved. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, disgusted by how much he looked forward to seeing Sarah again on Saturday. He wouldn’t cancel, but he’d be damn sure not to show an interest that went beyond the bounds of friendship. Doing anything else would feel like a horrible betrayal, and while he had no choice but to live with the loss of Caroline, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to live with himself if he put another woman in her place.
The phone rang, effectively putting Pierce’s thoughts on hold. Checking the caller ID, he clicked the little green button, expecting one of two people. “Hello?”
“Hi Pierce. It’s Jenny. How are you doing?”
“Pretty good,” he said, not wanting to tell her the truth. “I’m working with some miners up here.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I sold rights to part of the land.”
“You did?” She didn’t sound too enthusiastic.
“The deal is that I can help with the dig, which gives me something to do, and an income, you know?”
There was a slight pause, and then, “Of course. I think that sounds very nice, Pierce.”
“How about you and Frank?” Pierce asked. “How are you doing?”
“Well…we were actually thinking about coming up to visit you, if that’s okay?”
“Sure.” Pierce went to the window and stared out. Clouds were flocking together, blotting out the sky. “When are you planning to arrive?”
“Next week. We won’t stay long – just a few days.” She paused for a second before saying, “It was Frank’s idea really. He hasn’t been to the Klondike since his father passed.”
“Well, you’re both very welcome. Any time.” Denying them was out of the question. This was Caroline’s land after all – land that had once belonged to Frank’s father. They had every right to see what Pierce had done with it. “Just send me your flight plan, and I’ll pick you up from the airport.”
“Thank you, Pierce. We look forward to seeing you again soon.”
Expelling a deep breath, Pierce said goodbye and then hung up the phone. As much as he wanted to be a good host, he couldn’t shirk the distinct feeling that their visit was going to be difficult.
Chapter Nine
Pulling up beside Pierce’s Jeep that Saturday evening, Sarah wondered for the millionth time if it wouldn’t have been better to cancel. She’d still been in shock when he’d issued the invitation – had been eager to grab any excuse to bond due to her recent brush with death. Since then, however, she’d found herself questioning the wisdom of coming here alone. Her grandfather had been right about Pierce being broken, and with her own past relationship issue in mind, she feared she might be making a huge mistake by opening up to her neighbor. Even though doing so had been her suggestion.
Glancing toward the front door while Patsy Cline’s voice rose from the car stereo, Sarah considered the repercussions that might come from confiding in Pierce and from him confiding in her. The man had lost his wife, for heaven’s sake, and was clearly still grieving. To hope for something more than friendship to blossom between them would be monumentally stupid. Especially since the last thing she wanted was to have her heart broken once more, which was precisely what she feared would happen if she fell for a man incapable of reciprocating her feelings.
With a deep inhale, Sarah squared her shoulders and switched off the engine. One minute later, she was standing in Pierce’s home while the man in question helped her off with her coat – a gesture that quickly reminded her of how wonderful his embrace had felt when he’d pulled her into his arms the other day. At the time, she’d appreciated the comfort for what it was without pining for anything more. Later, when she’d had more time to think about it, she’d caught herself wondering what it might be like to be held like that for an entirely different reason.
“I was beginning to wonder if you were going to stay in your car for the rest of the evening,” he said, smiling over his shoulder as he slid her coat onto a hanger and put it in the closet. “I’m glad you decided to come inside instead.”
His voice made her stomach tremble. “Honestly, I was having second thoughts.”
He turned to give her a steady look. “Why is that?”
“Because you’re expecting me to tell you about something that only a few select people know about.” She wouldn’t address the effect his smile had begun to have on her, twisting her insides until she felt slightly queasy. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice while he waved her through to the kitchen as if nothing had changed between them. He was just the same guy being nice to
his neighbor. The thought almost made her wince.
“Look, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he said. Grabbing a spoon he began stirring the contents of a large pot. “I’m certainly not going to badger you about it.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.” Pulling out a stool, she perched herself on the edge of it and watched him cook. “What are you making?”
“Nothing fancy. Just pasta with tomato sauce and some chicken that’s roasting in the oven.”
“Sounds delicious to me,” Sarah said, her heart skipping a little when he sent her a thankful smile. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I think I’ll manage it this time. Would you care for some wine?”
She nodded. “Sure. Thanks.”
Selecting a couple of glasses, Pierce uncorked a bottle of merlot. “To a profitable season and friendship,” he said when they clinked their glasses together a short while after.
Sarah took a sip, savoring the rich flavor as it swirled around her mouth. “Let’s hope so. According to the land inspector, we should be okay if we start our dig twenty yards further back than we’d initially planned.”
“So we start in earnest on Monday?” Setting his glass aside, Pierce opened the oven and pulled out a ceramic dish containing a pair of perfectly browned chicken breasts.
“That’s the plan. Grandpa’s absolutely itching to run the first loads of dirt through the trommel.” She took another sip of her wine. “He’s been after the ridge for so many years now. I just hope it turns out to be as profitable as he thinks.”
Dumping the pasta into a large bowl, Pierce handed it to Sarah before grabbing the dish with the chicken and following her into the dining room. “Your grandfather is pretty experienced when it comes to mining, so I’m sure the ridge will meet his expectations.” Placing the food on the table, Pierce said, “I’ll go grab some bread. Be back in a sec.” Just as Sarah was taking her seat, he returned, carrying a cutting board on which a baguette had been laid out alongside a knife. “Please help yourself.”
Sarah didn’t hesitate another moment. She filled her plate until she feared he might think her a glutton. “This smells wonderful.” Eying the steaming bread, she reached for the knife and cut off a generous piece.
Pierce grinned. “I’m glad you think so.”
The sparkle in his eyes sent a shiver down her spine, and it struck her that he hadn’t looked quite this at ease or happy before. Shaking it off, Sarah focused her attention on the food, taking a bite and almost sagging with pleasure as the creamy tomato sauce dressing the pasta blended with the herb-flavored meat. “Is that oregano and thyme?”
Pierce nodded. “With a dash of sweet basil.
Sarah took another bite, chasing it with a sip of wine. “It’s yummy.”
“Thanks.”
They ate for the next few minutes in silence until Pierce eventually set his knife and fork aside, pushed his plate out of the way, and folded his arms on the table. “So…you know I came here from New York.”
Sarah froze. Apparently Pierce was determined to do this. The suddenness caught her by surprise, even though she knew it probably shouldn’t have. But somehow, she’d expected him to wait until after the meal to bring this up – to ease into this conversation with greater finesse.
Clearly, he had a different idea. “Yes,” she said.
“I used to be the CEO of a big pharmaceutical company there. It paid well. Enough to allow for a comfortable apartment on the other side of the Hudson. My wife, Caroline…” He broke eye contact for a second, took a moment to clear his throat and sip his wine. “If you’re done with your food, we can move to the couch. I’ll make some coffee.”
Liking the idea of some coffee to go with this difficult conversation, Sarah helped Pierce clear the table. Twenty minutes later they sat side by side in the living room while enjoying their mugs of steaming hot coffee.
“Caroline was a lawyer,” Pierce continued as if there’d been no break in the conversation, “so between the two of us, we had a pretty good income. We set aside whatever we could afford, along with our plans for the future: vacations to Europe, a house with a garden…kids… Always imagining the day would come when our lives would be less busy, when we’d finally find the time to accomplish our dreams.”
“But that day never came,” Sarah whispered.
Pierce shook his head. “You never think tragedy will find you. Yet here I am, a widower at only thirty-five years of age.”
He gave a melancholy laugh that tore at Sarah’s heart. Reaching out, she instinctively placed her hand over his. “The emptiness you feel won’t ever go away, but it does get better with time.” The words were out before she could think.
Lifting his gaze, he stared back at her, eyes filled with despair and something far more compelling: the knowledge she could relate. “You know what I’m going through.”
For a second, Sarah just sat there gazing back at Pierce. She was tempted to deny his observation, but the touch of his hand and the look in his eyes obliged her to tell him the truth instead. “Billy and I have known each other since we were children. We lived in the same neighborhood and attended the same schools. During our second year of high school, he finally asked me out.”
“Finally?”
“Turns out we’d both had a crush on each other for a couple of years. I was too shy to act on it. He didn’t think I’d be interested until he chose to take the risk of being rejected.”
Turning more fully toward her, Pierce frowned. “But things didn’t turn out the way you imagined?”
With a shake of her head, Sarah pushed back the urge to tamp down the memories. “After graduating, I won a scholarship to the University of Toronto. My parents were thrilled by that. It seemed my life was on the right track, until I returned for the summer after my first semester away. Billy and I were still together, so we hung out a lot and…there were consequences.” Biting her lip, Sarah thought of what her mom had said when she’d found out: It’s a no brainer, Sarah, you’ll have to get an abortion. She shrugged one shoulder and sipped her coffee. “I couldn’t keep the baby and continue my studies, so I made a choice. One my parents have never forgiven me for making.”
“They felt you were throwing your life away?”
“It’s more than that.” Pierce didn’t comment. Instead he just sat there, waiting for her to continue. Allowing her however much time she needed to put her thoughts in order and find the courage to share them. Dropping her gaze to their joined hands, she inhaled deeply. “My parents don’t believe in pre-marital relations. When they found out I’d gotten pregnant, they flipped.”
“When you say flipped—”
“I mean they threw me out of the house and told me never to come back.”
“Jesus!”
Sucking in a breath, Sarah struggled against the urge to retreat. “So I, err…I quit college and moved in with Billy. He was very supportive, but I was worried. We were basically looking at mediocre jobs with mediocre pay and a child on the way. It sucked, but at least we loved each other. Or so I thought.”
“You had to grow up fast,” Pierce said. “It was bound to put a strain on your relationship.”
“Yeah. I suppose that’s true.” Swiping a hand across her eyes, she felt the moisture there. Oh God, she was going to cry. Mortified, she turned her head away.
“Hey, it’s okay.” Pierce’s hand squeezed hers “I get that this is difficult for you to talk about.”
Sensing her throat begin to close, Sarah simply nodded. For a long while, they just sat there with neither one of them uttering a word. Eventually, she managed to say, “Nine months later, when my contractions started, I was home alone. Billy was at work, and it had started to snow outside. When I called him to let him know, he told me to stay put. He said he’d come and get me, but as I waited and the contractions began coming closer without any sign of Billy arriving, I grew anxious. I was terrified of having to deliver the baby on my own, so I got in m
y car and drove.” She drew a quivering breath. “I met Billy at a bend in the road. He was driving too fast, trying to reach me on time while I…” She shook her head, aware of the tears now spilling onto her cheeks. “We collided, the air bag exploded and the baby…” She shook her head, almost choking on the words. “By the time we arrived at the hospital it was too late. We lost our child.” The words were more of a croak than anything else. A sob broke from between her lips, and Sarah realized then she was shaking.
An arm came around her, drawing her close and holding her until the worst of it subsided. “I’m so sorry,” she half gulped, half gasped. “I didn’t mean to unravel like this.”
“It’s okay,” Pierce muttered. Drawing back a little, he placed the palm of his hand against her cheek and forced her to look at him. “You went through hell, Sarah, but losing that baby…it wasn’t your fault.”
She disagreed. “If I’d only stayed home like Billy told me.”
“And if only he hadn’t been speeding, and it hadn’t been snowing, and there hadn’t been ice on the road as I’m sure there probably was. You did what you thought was best by trying to get help.”
“That’s what Grandpa says. He took me in after the incident when Billy changed and my parents wanted nothing to do with me. I’ve lived with him ever since.”
Looking up, she could see that Pierce’s eyes were stormy with emotion. “You had a horrific experience,” he murmured, so softly she barely heard him.
“So did you.” The words whispered past her lips to swirl between them.
Pierce nodded. His thumb scraped the edge of her jaw and for a second, Sarah knew he meant to kiss her. But then a log snapped in the fireplace causing Fido, who’d been curled up on the rug in front of it, to yelp. Blinking, Pierce pushed himself off the couch, adding distance. He went to pet the puppy until it settled back down.
Pierce stood. “Would you like some more coffee?” he asked, picking up his own mug.
The Love That Saved Him Page 9